July 10, 2008
This Strip Reeks of Failure
If CJo wasn't out of the country, I think the term he might use to describe today's PC would be "ham-fisted."
Scott Stantis still desperately wants to make fun of Hillary Clinton. So it doesn't matter to him that it makes zero sense that she would be interviewing for the role of financial director for Winston's campaign, which has NO MONEY. If she herself has campaign debt, why waste her time with a candidate that's just as broke as she is?
But Stantis never lets "logic" ruin his attacks on Senator Clinton. Attacks which are just a little bit more than sexist, but hey - par for the course when it's a Republican trying to be funny.
After yesterday though I have a newfound respect for Hillary. She voted against the horrible FISA bill, something that Obama didn't do. If I had known that back during the primaries, she would have gotten my vote. Instead, we're now a country where the government can spy on its citizens without warrants, the president can tell corporations to break the law and they can do it without fear of penalty, and while we know that the telecoms did spy on us illegally for years, we'll never know what they were doing because they're immune from prosecution. Thanks, Senator Obama - nice to know that you and the rest of the Democratic leadership in Congress are willing to bend over backwards to give President 23% Approval Rating everything he wants and more.
Sorry Mrs. Clinton - instead of being the nominee, you get guys like Stantis making fun of how you dress and how you look.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:09 AM | Comments (1)July 06, 2008
Summing Up The Republicans
Whether he intended to or not, today Scott Stantis perfectly sums up George W. Bush and the rest of the Republicans that have done so much damage to this country over the last 8 years.
"I do what I want. If it works...it works. If not, I will blame others. It's a risk I'm willing to take." - W (Winslow, but may as well be this guy.)
June 24, 2008
Morganville Townhall Meeting
Stantis finally gets around to a "John McCain is a grumpy old man" joke. Gee, that would have been fresh about four months ago. I guess it's better than not-so-subtle attempts at trying to call Obama an uppity Negro without being too obvious about it, like most Republicans.
McCain does remind me of one grandpa...
June 14, 2008
Hero-ick
Somewhere, in an unidentified state in the Southwest, there is a town known as Prickly City. Threatened by the eeevil LIBERAL AGENDA, it is defended by its heroes...
NEO-CON CARMEN!
Watch...as she talks out of both sides of her mouth at the same time!
Marvel...as she uses her powers of hypocrisy to act superior to everyone else!
Be astounded...as the part in her hair spreads wider and wider, horrifying her enemies!
And of course there's her trusty sidekick...
WINSTON!
Stare...as he talks like a conservative tool even though he claims to be a talking liberal coyote!
Witness...his incredible ability to always be the one to blame, even when conservatives are at fault!
Be astonished...by his ability to crash into the ground repeatedly because a certain someone thinks it's funny to have him try to fly over and over and over again, even though the joke hasn't been funny ever!
Separate, they are simply annoying. Together, they are...
THE UNFUNNY RE-PUBLICANS!
Under the guidance of their confused, irritable leader ST. JOHN MCCAIN, and taking their marching orders from KARL "TURD BLOSSOM" ROVE, the Unfunny Re-Publicans do everything in their power to convince Americans that everything bad is the Democrats' fault and Republicans only want to cut taxes and kill terrorists and are teh awesome. With the help of newspaper editors across the country, these defenders of THE REAGAN LEGACY will lie, cheat, and steal in the name of ABE LINCOLN (their patron saint, even though he wasn't a conservative like they claim) to keep America safe from the unwashed masses (in other words, poor people).
So sit back and hold tight, dear reader. As America's future hangs in the balance, and a new threat arises in the form of BARRY MOHAMMAD HUSSEIN OSAMA, can Neo-Con Carmen and her sidekick Winston keep America safe from the threat of true democracy and make sure Republicans continue to control the government and the media? Stay tuned!
But first, a few words from their sponsors...big oil, lobbyists, and the Religious Right. And if you change the channel, you're a terrorist who hates America!
Posted by The Furnace at 09:25 AM | Comments (1)June 07, 2008
Feeling Bubba's Pecker
Stantis continues the Republicans' obsession with Bill Clinton's penis today. See, Winslow got a "stimulus" package, so his "package" is "stimulated" - get it? Get it? His penis is engorged with blood, just like Bill Clinton when he got a blow job from Monica! Ha ha.
It amazes me that Republicans STILL can't stop talking about the Clintons' sex life, yet they act as if lying us into war, illegally spying on us, and trashing the economy are all completely acceptable and not something we should worry about (just ask David Broder). But Clinton had oral in the Oval ten years ago? Now THAT'S relevant!
Can you imagine all the fun they're going to have with Obama? You see, he's black. Lots of naughty little jokes they can tell about him, although they'll say they're not really racist jokes. Personally my prediction is that McCain makes a "joke" where he refers to Obama as a "young buck" or a "boy" before August. Because you see, it's okay to joke about that - there's nothing more serious we should be focusing on in the world. Bill Clinton's got a penis, you see, and Obama is a negro, so there's jokes to be told! Crack to it, Stantis - let's see some more of your political comedy stylings!
May 27, 2008
GOP Stoppers
Kinda cute strip today, even if Stantis is even lazier than usual by wasting the first three panels. Yup, people aren't as happy about identifying themselves as Republicans anymore. I guess that's what happens when your policies don't work and corruption is commonplace.
But it's just as fun when you see the real numbers, courtesy of Pew: The Incredible Shrinking Republican Party.
But hey - John McCain's going to change all that! In fact, he's the voice of change! Who better to fix all of the problems Republicans have caused than by having one of Bush's biggest cheerleaders as the next President? Yup - I can see it now - Republicans will come out in droves to vote for four more years of George W. Bush's policies, because they truly think he's got great ideas for fixing things (translated: keep doing the exact same thing we've done for 8 years and hope it somehow starts working).
Yup, people will flock to vote for the GOP - the party of change and reform - because they're going to fix all of the problems. That they caused. By doing the same thing.
Or they'll just rig another election. One or the other.
May 20, 2008
It's The Stupidity In The Comics Section
First, an observation: based on the sun in the sky, it took the person making the statement in today's Prickly City (probably Carmen, since she's the one who's shouting all the time) approximately FOUR HOURS to say what's on her mind.
As for the substance of what Carmen/Stantis is saying, I love it when Republicans whine about things that their party is primarily responsible for, but they toss in a few things that they think they can blame on Democrats so they come across as "fair and balanced." See, buzz words like "bio-fuels" are supposed to be liberal ideas (although it's our beloved president who loves him some switchgrass) and the stimulus package is happening while the Democrats are in charge (and Stantis sure didn't whine about it when Bush did the same thing in the past).
But you won't hear a Republican like Stantis take responsibility for a horrible economy that's a result of his party's terrible economic policies. The economy has been sliding for years now, but Stantis didn't whine about it before - why now? Probably because he thinks he can pin the blame on everybody in Washington, instead of on the real culprits - his party.
Oh yes, let's blame "food-devouring bio-fuels" in the same breath as you blame a "shortsighted energy policy." That makes a whole lot of sense. And of course the latest conservative talking point is that the subprime mortgage crisis should be blamed on the people who got the loans, not the folks who gave people unrealistic loans because they thought houses would always go up in value fo-evah. Ugh.
Please Stantis, give us more of your amazing intellectual economic insight. Tell us how this is all the fault of the Democrats, and how your man John McCain is going to magically fix everything by cutting taxes on the rich and refusing to give veterans more money to go to school. The real stupidity in the economy is thinking that Republicans know what the f*ck they're doing.
Newsflash: conservative economic policies DON'T WORK. How much more proof do we need? Should we start building new Hoovervilles? How many recessions did we have under Eisenhower? (hint: less than 4, more than 2). How awesome was the economy under Nixon and Ford? Remember the "glory years" under Reagan, which gave us the then-worst deficit and debt in history? And now we're giving Hoover a run for his money thanks to the oh-so-wonderful economic insights of W and his cronies.
But let's vote for John McCain, who has made it very clear that he has every intention of doing the exact same freakin' thing George W. Bush has done. Because when something bad is happening, just keep doing the same damn thing cuz eventually it'll get better, right? Right? I mean it works for Scott Stantis - he keeps trotting out the same talking points and the same lame scripts and the same bad drawings every day and he's doing just fine, ain't he?
May 13, 2008
When McSame Attacks
Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno.”
– Sen. John McCain, speaking to a Republican dinner, June 1998 (Chelsea was a teenager at the time).
I'll say it: Scott Stantis is funnier than John McCain. Probably a better choice to be president too.
Posted by The Furnace at 10:44 AM | Comments (3)May 06, 2008
Did Rupert Murdoch Buy The P.C. Newspaper?
Of course he had no way of knowing at the time, but Stantis is finally going after McCain on something. I doubt he knew that McCain would open up the Spanish version of his campaign website yesterday, or that today McCain would flip-flop yet again on the immigration issue. But the timing works out pretty well, even though Stantis will probably end up voting for McCain in November anyway. Stantis is a die-hard Republican, dontcha know, so he'll vote for whoever the nominee is. Unlike McCain, who so hated George W. Bush for how W trashed him during their race he didn't even vote for the guy in 2000.
Now the real question: will Lou Dobbs and the rest of the right wingers who McCain was pandering to just a few months ago now attack their nominee? Like I said I doubt Stantis would have done a week on this topic if he knew that McCain would flip-flop and start pandering to the folks who speak a language other than English. It'll be interesting to see how far Stantis will go trashing Winslow in this series since he's essentially a proxy for McCain this time around - and Stantis didn't even realize it.
Primary Predictions: Obama wins North Carolina by double digits, but it won't matter since Hillary will win Indiana by a couple points and will claim that Obama should have won because Illinois borders the state and North Carolina doesn't matter since it's in the South and she's more electable because she's the one who can beat McCain - even though they're both talking about a stupid "gas tax holiday" and obliterating Iran. Hillary McSame in November Forevah!
May 03, 2008
Nascar Dads Love War For Oil - Just Ask John McCain
Credit where it's due - it's not a bad strip today. I even kinda like that Depends is Winslow's biggest sponsor. Better than going with a cheap Viagra joke.
Now I'm looking forward to two weeks from now, when Stantis goes after McCain for basically saying that we went to war in Iraq over oil. Sure the mainstream media is trying to cover for him (as the anchor on MSNBC this morning helpfully pointed out, he was referring to the first Gulf War - even though McCain said that's not what he meant), but this is one of those comments - like saying we should stay in Iraq for a 100 years - that isn't going to go away. Straight talk from the maverick!
I wonder if Depends is St. McCain's biggest sponsor too...
April 15, 2008
Just Another Tuesday
Considering how many things Stantis gets wrong I'm not surprised that tax day is the one special event he makes sure to address every year. If there's a person who deserves to be audited, it's Stantis.
Look at everything he screws up today. That's supposed to be a leech? Really? It looks the hairstyle Marlo Thomas and Mary Tyler Moore wore in the 60s (and to a lesser extent Conde Rice's hair today). At first I thought it was crushing Carmen, but now I realize that it's actually sucking the blood out of her THROUGH HER ASS. You're a sick freak, Stantis.
Of course it's tax and spend liberal Winslow who refers to tax time as the "yearly leeching," because it makes oh-so-much sense to have the guy who's in favor of people paying their fair share to refer to it as "leeching."
Add in how horribly the strip is done and it's easily one of the worst Prickly City strips of the year. Fitting for the one day of the year everybody hates, especially Stantis, even though he's had all year to prepare for it. Too bad he didn't spend that time writing a good comic strip instead of whining about having to pay taxes on an income he doesn't deserve.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:38 AM | Comments (2)
April 13, 2008
Takes One To Know One
I am so sick and tired of Republicans like Stantis and their false arguments. Yes Scott, it's a do-nothing Congress. They get nothing done, nothing at all. And since the Democrats are in the majority, they must be to blame, right?
Wrong. It's your Republican minority, Stantis, that is filibustering more than any previous group in the history of the House.
Scotty tries to go for a two-fer today - Winslow can't believe that Carmen isn't spending her time with that eeevil technology and is simply doing nothing (like Congress, of course). Gee, I wonder - what if it was Winslow that was sitting out in the desert doing nothing? Think Stantis would have gone for a cheap welfare joke? Maybe talk about how he's waiting for the flood like the Katrina victims? Ohhh I've got it - he'd say he's just like Obama, because Obama hasn't done anything in his political career.
I guess yesterday's "behind the scenes" post was a little more prescient than I expected - Carmen's even doing less than standing in the desert since she's just sitting there, and she's actually admitting that she has nothing to do in the strip. She's almost as lazy as her creator, who has redefined how to do virtually nothing and get paid for it.
I guess that means the last panel in today's strip should have looked a little bit more like this:
April 12, 2008
Behind The Scenes
Somewhere in the heart of the Prickly City production offices...
CARMEN: Hey Scott, what have you got for me today?
STANTIS: Oh - hey Carmen. Well, we're wrapping up Winslow's storyline with the fibbing and the crazy pastor today.
CARMEN: You mean where you're going after Hillary for the Bosnia story and Obama because of the Jeremiah Wright controversy?
STANTIS: Exactly. So unfortunately we don't have anything for you.
CARMEN: I suppose it could be worse.
STANTIS: How so?
CARMEN: You could have just as easily gone after John McCain, which would mean I'd have to take the brunt of some of the jokes.
STANTIS: Yeah well I might not like the guy, but he is a Republican.
CARMEN: True. And the media loves him, so he'll be easy to elect. I mean check out how they've given him a free pass on everything the last few weeks. He flip flopped on the mortgage crisis three times. He didn't oppose torture even though he's actually BEEN tortured and knows it doesn't work. And he's "mis-spoken" about al Qaeda having ties to Iran several times now - and he gets a free pass every time!
STANTIS: But none of those things are as bad as Hillary or Obama. I mean come on - she fibbed about that Bosnia story - what else is she going to mis-remember? And Jeremiah Wright - what's next, is he going to blame America for 9/11 too?
CARMEN: Yeah, can you imagine if Jerry Falwell blamed Americans for what happened on 9/11?
(sound of crickets chirping, since that's exactly what Falwell did)
STANTIS: Anyways, we'll wrap up the attacks on Hillary and Obama today but I promise tomorrow we'll do something completely unrelated to politics.
CARMEN: Winslow talking to the sky again?
STANTIS: Yeah probably. But you'll be there too.
CARMEN: Standing in the desert?
STANTIS: As always.
CARMEN: Cool. But since I'm here can I at least do a pop-in? Maybe roll my eyes at Winslow in the last panel?
STANTIS: Ehhh, sure I guess. I'm just drawing the top of Winslow's head again this week so I don't really have that much to do.
CARMEN: Gotta love the podium - I can't believe they pay you for this!
STANTIS: Me neither!
Posted by The Furnace at 01:39 PM | Comments (0)April 01, 2008
Jokeless in Seattle
Well it looks like Stantis is going with the oh-so-hysterical and oh-so-relevant part of our election process that says the President and Vice President can't be from the same state. Here's a link to Article 2 of the Constitution that Winslow is talking about.
I'm not sure if Stantis is bringing this up because of the whole Bush/Cheney/Texas thing in 2000 (read more about it here - h/t John from yesterday's comments) or if it has something to do with the dust up on the internet about John McCain being born on a military base in Panama. The Panama thing cracks me up since folks seem to have forgotten that McCain kinda already ran for president once before and people already figured out that he is a U.S. citizen, but whatever.
It's too bad Old Man Stantis reverted back to his technology-hating ways with that last line where he takes a shot at internet conspiracy theories. A more appropriate line would have had Winslow saying that he found the Constitution in the trash after Carmen and the other Republicans tried to throw it away.
Is Stantis really going to spend a week on this? He didn't even have a joke in yesterday's strip, and today he goes with the lame Carmen slam and an internet reference. Reading the newspaper two weeks ago Stantis couldn't come up with ANYTHING more interesting than this non-starter of a storyline?
What will be really lame is if Stantis announces tomorrow that it was all an April Fool's joke, and Carmen and Winslow don't really have to break up - they can still run for the White House. Nah, that would have meant Stantis actually planned ahead and we know that's not possible.
In other news, Sacki is pregnant, CJo is four feet tall, and I'm still looking for a date for my high school prom. Happy April 1st!
March 29, 2008
Goodbye, Tucker - And Good Riddance
So let me get this straight: Scott Stantis just spent a week telling us that Winslow spent thousands of dollars to have sex with Geraldine Ferraro. Is that about right?
While I appreciate Stantis trying to combine two of the bigger political stories of the month - Ferraro's racist comments and Spitzer's hot hooker - it was done in such a ham-fisted, unfunny way that it negates any points he might have scored for trying. Add in that he missed a perfect opportunity to slam McCain for being shameless for not resigning after the Keating Five scandal (thanks Annie), and it's clear that Stantis was in way over his head.
Today is a literal love letter to Tucker Carlson. MSNBC finally got around to canceling Tucker's low-rated talk show and Stantis/Carmen miss him something awful. Of course the day after it was announced Tucker was still all over MSNBC's regular newscasts - as an "expert" of all things - so I'm not sure what she's whining about.
My favorite part of today's strip: Carmen's suggestion that Tucker's show was "unfairly" canceled. Ha! Check out these ratings - Tucker has had the worst rated show on MSNBC for ages, usually taking in half of what Chris Matthews pulls and a third of Olbermann's numbers. To confirm that it really was because of the presence of that obnoxious punk, the show that replaced it starring David Gregory outperformed Tucker's old show by 35% its first week. I love it when Republicans like Stantis whine about things being "unfair." What's unfair is that Tucker Carlson stayed on the air months longer than he should have precisely because he's a conservative tool.
Which is the same reason why Prickly City is still on the comics page. Enjoy it while you can, Stantis - hopefully you'll be on the unemployment line standing next to Tucker soon.
Posted by The Furnace at 10:17 AM | Comments (1)March 15, 2008
Because "Diff'rent Strokes" Would Have Been Too Controversial
I love it when a blowhard like Stantis says waaaay more with his words than he thinks. For example, today Stantis talks about "generation versus generation" and "young against old" - and then uses 1970s sitcom "Chico and the Man" to make his point. The point I think he's trying to make is that generations are always butting heads and young people just don't get that, but the point he's making is that he's really old and out of touch. And unfunny.
What makes it even worse is that little girl Carmen is the one telling coyote pup Winslow that he's the one who will never "get" what she's talking about since she's so much wiser than him despite being in the same freakin' generation. God Stantis sucks.
Yeah, "change vs. stability" has always been a part of campaigning. Unfortunately, stability under Republicans usually results in a recession and people clamoring for change (see 1992, 1976, 1960, 1932...). 2008 is no different. We're most likely knee deep in a recession right now, and Obama is the change candidate while McCain (and to a slightly lesser extent Hillary) are in favor of stability.
Obviously today's strip is a dig at Obama and how naifs like Winlow and him don't "get" how important stability is and how silly it is to think a person can change things for the better. Unfortunately the media is already on board with this: just check out how much looooove they have for McCain at this stage of the game compared to Obama.
I have a sneaking suspicion Stantis was all in favor of "change" in 2000 when he voted for Bush - and he got it. Oh how things have changed - gas is now $3.39 a gallon, we're stuck in two wars without end (not counting the "global war on terror"), the housing market is trashed, the dollar is in the toilet, and so on and so forth.
Sorry Stantis, but if this is the kind of "stability" you want for the next four years, you're the one who's never going to "get it."
March 08, 2008
Lose-Slow/Can't-Win '08
Sorry for posting so late, but really - what's there to say about today's Prickly City? Carmen calls Winslow a "flag-burning commie" and Winslow calls Carmen a "knuckle-dragging fascist." Can someone explain to Stantis that according to Jonah Goldberg liberals are the fascists AND the commies? Well, pretty much every form of government that fails is blamed on liberals so I guess it's a moot point.
I'm also wondering why being a knuckle-dragger is somehow the equivalent of a flag-burner, but whatever. I guess it hurt too much for Stantis to come up with something legit like "illegally spying" or "torturing" or "Constitution ignoring" as a better description for Carmen.
Overall it's a decent strip - I like how silly it makes politicians and talking heads look when they talk about "unity" and "reaching across the aisle." It's one of the reasons I'm not a big Obama supporter, but I'm especially not pulling for Hillary or McSame as Bush. The Liebermans/McCains/Hillaries of the country are the ones destroying it, not making it a better place. The Republicans had their way for six years and trashed the joint - why should the Dems work with them, especially when they've spent the last year or so blocking everything they've tried to do and even when they DO "unify" Bush just vetoes the bill? Then again at this point I'm fed up with the whole lot of them so maybe I'm just a lil bitter.
Carmen joining Winslow's ticket is the laziest, least creative thing Stantis could have done. Not only that, he did it in the laziest way possible. Having Winslow beg the person who destroyed his campaign join him on the ticket makes zero sense. If Stantis really wanted to have fun with this idea, he would have had Carmen truly pull a Cheney and tell Winslow she figured out a way to save his campaign - she was going to be his veep, and all he had to do was say whatever she tells him to say and leave all the thinking to her. But instead we're apparently going to have Carmen and Winslow bickering the whole time instead of trying to be funny. Wonderful. Just another day in Prickly City.
March 01, 2008
Tortured; Logic
Credit where it's due: Scott Stantis does what John McCain, George W. Bush, and the rest of the Republican party refuse to do - he admits that waterboarding is torture.
Unfortunately he's doing it in the comics section of the newspaper and couldn't be bothered with figuring out a way to make it humorous. Granted torture isn't something to make light of, but why spend a week on it if you don't have a funny way to make a serious point? Isn't that what Stantis is paid to do? Heck, anybody could have written and drawn today's strip - and I mean anybody. Are we supposed to forgive Stantis for the fact it isn't funny because he's a Republican admitting something that isn't politically popular? Should he be applauded because he's standing against his party and NOT endorsing torture? I don't think so.
It's sad to think that Carmen had to be waterboarded before she admitted it was torture. Heck, John McCain really was tortured and he refuses to make it illegal because he thinks it'll make him look weak on terror or something. Is that what it's going to take to make Republicans change their minds on something? Force them to experience it before they understand why they're wrong on certain issues? If that's the case then Carmen's going to have a long year ahead of her when she's diagnosed with a disease and is denied healthcare coverage because of that pre-existing condition or any other number of issues where Carmen/Stantis/Republicans don't seem to understand why lefties think the way they do.
At least Stantis has seen the light on one issue. Too bad he still isn't funny. Or a good writer. Or a good artist.
February 26, 2008
The Republican Pick
First off: Baby Carmen wears a diaper and drinks from a bottle but has the ability to say "stop it?" That's either one really smart infant or one really slowly-developing toddler.
Stantis is still complaining about McCain because he wrote this before the conservatives were told they have to like him now as CJo pointed out yesterday. Carmen/Stantis doesn't like that McCain didn't always fall in lock step with the Republican leadership - that in the past he had this little habit of thinking for himself every once in a while. Hasn't Stantis been paying attention the last 7 years? That's the old McCain! The new one is Bush 3!
It's a shame that Stantis and other Republicans don't fully appreciate why McCain did what he did back then. Since he was a part of the Keating Five during the savings and loan scandal, he had to play the part of "reformer" and "straight talker" to try and salvage his career. He dodged a bullet when things fell apart, so much like Eddie Haskell he had to pretend to fly right and work with the other side so people accepted that he really was a "new man." No more cheating for this former Fifth Keating! He's a maverick!
So you conservatives need to appreciate that all of that "poking" he did was just an act. Look at the guy's record. Yeah, there were a few times he crossed the aisle to work with the Democrats (funny, but aren't the Republicans the ones now saying we're supposed to work together - why are they complaining about McCain having done that in the past?). But he didn't really MEAN it. He's always been a neo-conservative. He just couldn't proudly wear it on his sleeve.
People tend to forget that while McCain ran as a moderate conservative in 2000, so did Bush. But McCain had a history of working with the Dems in the Senate (not really, but that was his reputation - I mean come on, is working with Joe Lieberman working with the Dems?), and Bush was a clean slate. That's why I'm loving the way Rush and Hannity are frothing at the mouth about McCain - they spent all of the 2000 election campaigning against the guy, and now they're supposed to forget all that and support him? Not bloody likely, at least not until they finally get the message that he's not going away.
Apparently Rush, Hannity, and Stantis haven't been paying close attention the last few years. Yeah, McCain was asked by John Kerry to be his running mate in 2004 (keep in mind that Joe Lieberman actually was the VP nominee in 2000, so guys who pretend to be moderates seem to be their choice) - but days later he was hugging Bush and endorsing the guy that smeared him in South Carolina in 2000.
Since then McCain has been a full-blown, out-in-the-open neo-con, openly saying we need to bomb Iran, he wants to make the tax cuts permanent, and just endorsed torture(?!?!?!). The Real McCain is FINALLY coming back out, but Stantis and Co. are reluctant to wrap their arms around him. But give him a little while - about two weeks from when that New York Times story came out revealing that McCain is in bed with the lobbyists.
It's funny - watching conservatives whine about McCain really is like watching little kids pick on each other. Stantis actually nailed it this time around (it's not funny, but he's right on). McCain didn't always hang out with the kool kids. So now he must be punished. Of course they'll still let him hang with them - but first, he's got to be given the cold shoulder until he brings them something they want. Maybe he can sneak them an extra couple cookies or a few juice boxes, like promising even more tax cuts and saying he'll bomb Iran within six months of taking office. Then those Republicans like Stantis will come around - you just need to give the baby his bottle and he'll suck all day.
February 23, 2008
Lil' Miss Morality
Time for Scott Stantis to get on his soap box and tell us all how we should live our lives. Looks like he noticed "Knocked Up" and "Juno" on the video rental shelves and decided how sinful it is - sinful I tell you! - that these young people would dare indulge in carnal activities before marriage. I'm sure Mr. Stantis was a virgin when he got married, because he would never ever be that big a hypocrite.
Gotta love conservatives. You'd think Stantis would be happy that in those two blockbusters the parents decided to keep the baby and stay together. But nope - that's not nearly enough. They should have been married first!
Please Carmen/Stantis, please tell us more about how eeevil liberal Hollywood's "moral compass" always points south. Not like the moral compass that conservatives have, which far too often seems to point at a young boy's ass. It's too bad Hollywood doesn't live by the good morality of people like David "hooker" Vitter, Mark "teen boys rule" Foley, Rush "how many wives is it now?" Limbaugh, Newt "you have cancer? Oh - well I want a divorce so I can marry my mistress" Gingrich, and so on.
What makes this strip so delicious is that it's coming on the heels of the revelation that John McCain probably cheated on his wife with a female lobbyist back during the 2000 election. Of course the attention-grabber is the sex part, but the reality is it should be far more damning how much McCain's done for the lobbyists. Mr. Keating Five himself (a story from St. McCain's past the media never really wants to talk about), Mr. Straight Talk Express, has been in bed with the lobbyists for years - only now we're learning it was both literally and figuratively.
And let's not forget that St. McCain openly cheated on his first wife thirty or so years ago, finally settling on a blond named Cindy who just happened to be an heiress whose money has financed the Holy One's political career. What's that you say? You didn't know John McCain cheated on his first wife and then married his mistress? Gee, if I didn't know better I'd think he was one of these Hollywood liberals that Carmen is talking about. Nah, that can't be right. John McCain is a man's man. He's got real conservative values and morals. It's those great morals that make McCain such a great liar.
I hope this storyline never ends. I hope Scott Stantis continues to tell everybody how they should live their lives so they can be good people. Unmarried and pregnant? You're evil. You have no moral compass. You had sex before marriage. Let's take it further. All girls should sign one of those purity oaths that are all the rage for Christians. But saying that won't have sex until marriage isn't enough. We can't let silly little women choose what to do with their bodies - they'll just wear thongs and too-tight jeans and make up. We should wrap them up from head to toe - we shouldn't even see their faces. Scott Stantis can then choose which male should be able to plant his seed in her. But the boy's family should bring something to the table - maybe some goats and a cow or two. Then we'll live truly moral, Christian lives. Right Stantis?
By the way, I haven't seen "Juno." Does she want to get married at the end of the movie? From what I remember "Knocked Up" doesn't end with a wedding. So where is Stantis getting that from? Oh - wait - he's just making shit up so he can make a point. Nevermind. It's that good moral base of his that lets him lie about things so he can act holier than everybody else.
February 19, 2008
NOW Stantis Is Worried About The Deficit
Yes!!! Scott Stantis, fiscal conservative! He TOTALLY nails it today, and it's so hysterically funny too! That silly Winslow thinks that "stimulus" will solve all of the nation's problems, and it's up to Conservative Carmen to remind him that "stimulus" leads to deficits. You go, Stantis! Way to speak truth to power!
It's too bad Prickly City wasn't around in 2001, when this strip would have been bold and daring. I'm POSITIVE that Scott Stantis would have run this EXACT same strip in spring of 2001 when Bush announced that he was going to do the same thing. Stantis would have boldly stood against his fellow Bush Republicans and reminded them all that throwing money at the problem isn't a solution, and it'll just get us deeper into debt. Stantis is known for that sort of daring initiative, right?
On a less sarcastic note, I truly do love how the hypocrites in the Republican party like Stantis come out in droves now that the Democrats are in charge of the Congress (well, sorta - that's a whole nother post). Stantis and the rest of them LOOOOOOVED them some tax cuts and tax rebates back when the Republicans were in charge - they couldn't get enough of them. But now that the Dems are the ones that have to sign off on the legislation, we have to remember that horrible deficit (that was run up under a government completely controlled by the Republicans, but don't mention that part).
It reminds me of John McCain this past Sunday morning. He was talking about how we can save the economy by getting rid of "pork barrel spending." This from the guy whose party gave us the multi-million dollar bridge to nowhere, and preferred to send money for homeland security to little carnivals in Indiana instead of to protect places like New York City. The Republicans rewrote the book on how to waste taxpayer dollars, and now they're the ones screaming about how we have to be fiscally conservative? Please.
Odds are Stantis thinks he's earning some "street cred" when he does a strip like this - oooo, he's going against Bush! What a rebel! The reality is he just reminds us that not only is he a huge hypocrite like the rest of the Republicans in charge, but they're the ones that got us into the mess we're in now in the first place.
By the way, have you noticed how the media and the Republicans refuse to say that the Democrats in Congress are providing a tax break or a tax rebate to the public with this package, and instead always refer to it as "stimulus" like Stantis does today? Guess that's cuz the Dems only raise taxes, they NEVER EVER cut taxes EVER. Isn't that right, Stantis? Must be nice living in that fantasy world of yours. Too bad the media lives there too.
February 12, 2008
In The Belly Of Ronnie
Oh gee, Scott Stantis is STILL obsessed with Bill Clinton's penis. He's going to spend TWO WEEKS rehashing lame jokes from ten years ago? Not one mention yet of how the Democratic Congress is going to make illegal spying on Americans legal with no chance of investigating what happened because he thinks this is more important?
Here's a little trick to make reading this series a little more entertaining: imagine he's talking about Winslow being trapped inside Ronald Reagan's stomach. Instead of a cigar and a beret, imagine a picture of Fawn Hall and shredded Iran-Contra documents. Instead of a piece of paper with a scribble on it (honestly I have no idea what Stantis tried to write on there, but I'm going to assume it's Vince Foster's death warrant), imagine it's Donald Rumsfeld's bill of sale for WMDs to Saddam. Then as the Winslow's last line insert this instead: "Tastes like Alzheimer's and jelly beans."
Pathetic? Yes. Unfunny? Yes. Just like Scott Stantis.
February 09, 2008
Let's Attack Bill Clinton - As A Baby
There are times when I feel sorry for Republicans like Scott Stantis. They have this sad obsession with living in the past. Reagan is their god, even though his candidacy was filled with corruption and tax hikes (yes, that's right, tax hikes - Republican history forgets that part). He buried us in debt. He's the one who gave Saddam all those weapons to kill his own people. And so on. Republicans are also obsessed with going back to the 50s. Sometimes it's the 1950s, where they forget all about the three recessions and children being taught to duck and cover to avoid a nuclear attack, and instead focus on the make believe world of "Leave It To Beaver" as if that's what really happened. Other times they're obsessed with going back to the 1850s, when negroes and women knew their place. It's a pretty depressing life being a Republican - they still think Saddam had WMDs and ties to 9/11, they still think that tax cuts are the cure-all for any problem, and global warming is a myth. In some cultures they'd be considered mentally disabled - in ours they rule the country.
Then there are other times like today when I'm disgusted by Republicans like Scott Stantis. Oh he's still living in the past - but here his obsession with Bill Clinton and his penis are still on full display. Oh how much Stantis loves the fact that Bill became part of the news while campaigning for Hillary. All of those jokes he's been thinking of since Clinton left office 8 years ago - he finally gets to trot them out as if people still care. Bill Clinton is fat! Bill Clinton is a pervert! Bill Clinton has no shame! It's the "Freebird" of politics - no matter what is actually happening, Republicans can't help but be the dick in the audience that screams out something about how eeevil Bill Clinton was when he was president.
And now that it's been 8 years and he's running out of material to make fun of an adult Bill Clinton, Scott Stantis has to resort to making fun of Bill Clinton as a child. In the second grade he lost his "scruples," even though I'm not really sure what that means. In the first grade he stopped telling the truth. And he was born without shame. That's right - Scott Stantis is making fun of Bill Clinton as a baby. Class act.
Can you imagine anyone daring to make these jokes about their Lord and Savior Ronald Reagan? It would be a bloodbath, and Republicans from all corners of the country would be screaming for that person to be fired and strung up as a traitor who loves the terrorists. But when it comes to Bubba, there are no limits. Say anything you want - it's funny cuz it's Bill Clinton and he had the nerve to be a successful president no matter how many times the Republicans tried to ruin him.
I think that's really the key to their hatred of him. Try as they might, they couldn't beat him. Instead he became a successful president - even more successful than their Lord and Savior Ronnie if you look at the numbers. People around the world love him. There are folks who will vote for Hillary just because they LIKE the idea of having him back in the White House, even if it's just as the presidential spouse. And that burns up neo-cons like Stantis.
Especially since they look back at the last 8 years and see how catastrophic the Bush presidency has been. They can't admit to themselves that Bush did everything Reagan did and more - and he's been a complete and utter failure. Tax cuts to the rich have led to a recession, and what's essentially a birth tax of $35,000 each. We're stuck in wars in Iraq and Afghanistan without end. A housing crisis. A credit crisis. The dollar weaker than ever. More debt than every other president in history COMBINED. Torture is legal. Spying on American citizens is legal. And what Nixon said is true - if the president does it, it's not a crime. What Reagan wanted Bush got - he really is the King. And still the country is worse than it was 8 years ago.
When Bill Clinton was president.
So go ahead, Stantis - keep ripping on Bill. Keep acting like it's the 1990s. Because lord knows for the first time in ages I too wish we were living in the past, when we didn't have a King ruling us and spying on us and taking from the middle class to give to the rich. I think we'd all rather be living in the 90s again. Even you, Stantis. And that's what makes you sooo jealous of the man they call Bubba.
February 02, 2008
It's Always About Bill Clinton's Penis
Things we learned from Scott Stantis this week:
- Hillary is a power-hungry witch
- Obama is a n***** fightin' the man
- Bubba likes sex
This has been another edition of Things We Learned Thanks To Conservative Humor.
Next week:
- Liberals tax and spend
- War is always the answer
- George W. Bush: greatest president evah
January 26, 2008
Two Characters/One Bad Comic Strip Writer
Who exactly is Stantis supposed to be making fun of this week? I still haven't figured it out. The crying stuff was Hillary - I get that. But the change stuff could have been any of the presidential candidates - they've all been saying it lately (although odds are Stantis was going after Obama, but if you've watched the debates all of the Republicans claimed they were really the change candidate - while endorsing almost all of Bush's policies).
Then there's today. Vulnerable/strong is probably another dig at Hillary. But two Americas/one country? Edwards is the one who's been talking about there being two Americas - and that's a BAD THING. He's not endorsing a rich/poor society, which seems to be what the Republicans are all in favor of having. Yet Winslow seems to be pushing for it for some bizarre reason. Then there's closed borders/open arms. This is a rip on the Republicans, right? They're the ones who want it both ways on immigration. I haven't heard any of the Democrats talk about closing the borders, and the Republicans are the ones who desperately tried to make this an issue. So is Stantis trying to make fun of both the Democrats and the Republicans, or is he just grabbing issues out of the air and trying to pin them all of the Dems? Probably the latter, but who knows when you're dealing with someone who would fail sixth grade English.
It still cracks me up that Stantis has Carmen go from demanding campaign manager to innocent bystander in the blink of an eye. Today she's the wise observer, telling us what we all already know - because she's just that brilliant. Ah yes, the innocence of a child - who was running a national campaign for president. God does Stantis suck.
Do politicians talk out of both sides of their mouths? Yup. And I guess this wouldn't be a bad strip if it made any sense to me. Don't set up Winslow as a Democrat running for office and then have him act like a Republican half the time. Either make Carmen run and have her say half the things Winslow is saying today and bring in a third person to point out the duplicity in what they're both saying, or just make fun of the Dems with Winslow. It's really not that hard if you actually make an effort to make sense, Stantis. Maybe you should actually try earning that paycheck instead of living off the wingnut welfare all of you conservatives are getting nowadays. Or we're going to have to sacrifice another liberal strip to get you off the comic pages.
January 13, 2008
Edumacation Time With Mr. Stantis
Stantis decides to offer up a little political science this morning in Prickly City. He also thinks that Michigan looks like a hand. Not a hand wearing a mitten, mind you - just a hand.
Guess that explains why he doesn't even try to draw fingers that actually look like fingers.
There are nine panels in today's strip. Three of them are devoted to recapping that Winslow lost in Iowa and New Hampshire. And I thought Stantis was wasteful because he wastes the first panel of every weekday strip recapping what he did the day before. Carmen finally refers to Winslow as "W," which should have sent any real liberal into a rage. Nobody on the left (and half the people on the right) want to share a nickname with Mr. 24%.
Carmen tells Winslow that there's a bright side to being a loser, explaining the situation in Michigan that since they moved up their primary they're not getting any delegates this time around. What she fails to note is that only applies to the Democratic side - the Republican delegates are still in play. Which is why I like kos' idea that Dems should cross over (which is allowed in Michigan) and vote for Willard "Mitt" Romney, so the Republican race remains competitive for a little while longer (the media may want to christen St. McCain and the nominee, but let's make 'em work for it). Since everybody on the Dem side will leave Michigan with the same number of delegates (that's zero, natch), Winslow is suddenly excited again. But he's also so stupid he doesn't know which state is Michigan. Wow, what a wonderful punchline, Stantis. How long did it take you to dream up that one? And how in the world did Winslow know which state Iowa was then if he can't remember the one stuck between the Great Lakes? "It's the one that looks like a cardboard box that's been crushed?"
Which leads me to wonder: did Winslow get any delegates for winning the Prickly City primary? See, it's because of this lack of continuity that it's hard to enjoy the strip. Prickly City should have never had a primary in the first place, since it's not a state. But that didn't stop Stantis from trying to make a month-long storyline about the primary over six months ago. Now that primary season is actually here, it's more convenient to forget about all that and pretend it didn't really count. Why not toss in a line that just like Michigan, Prickly City's delegates don't count either? Then that would mean Winslow would have to stop and realize that all those millions he spent in PC were for nothing, and that his campaign in pointless (remember how Winslow was the frontrunner for a while there because he was the hometown boy? ah yes, bad times). If Stantis actually had a clue how to write for something over the long term instead of pulling stuff out his ass whenever he runs out of other things to bitch about, this might all make sense. Instead, it's a boring, unfunny waste of time.
What makes it even more stupid is that Stantis won't make the effort to look at the calendar to see what holidays are coming up in two weeks, but he knew to time today's Sunday strip so it would coincide with a primary in a state where it doesn't even matter for Democrats. Some awfully strange priorities there, mister.
And yes, I did notice that Stantis is so poor at drawing he doesn't know how to work in Winslow's tie in the first few panels and only tacks it on when Winslow is standing. Also, for some reason Carmen's mouth is almost as wide as her face. But I'm trying not to point out the drawing is so bad, remember?
So does this mean Stantis will devote the week to Winslow campaigning in Michigan? How will he make fun of the people living in that state? Joke that they touch Canada? Forget that the U.P. even exists like he did today? Maybe introduce a wolverine as a new character? How do you think he'll spend the week? Please use the comments section for your guesses, since personally I think Stantis will forget today's strip even happened and whine about something else entirely. Hey, he hasn't made fun of the writers' strike yet...
January 12, 2008
The Real Scott Stantis
Tonight, thousands of children will go to bed hungry. On any given night, upwards of 200,000 veterans - men and women who defended our freedoms - will sleep on the streets, homeless. Anywhere between 40 and 50 million of us don't have health insurance. Nearly 4,000 families have lost loved ones in a war based on lies. Hundreds of thousands of Iraqis - more than died under orders from Saddam during his 30 year reign of terror - have perished in the same war. All of our children are born owing $30,000 thanks to this monstrous debt run up under President George W. Bush - a birth tax that Republicans never talk about. Families are swimming in debt. Foreclosures are at record highs. Merrill Lynch has announced we're in the first month of a recession. More and more Americans are forced to work two jobs because so much of our industrial and factory work has been shipped overseas. Did I mention that there are kids who will go to bed hungry tonight in the richest nation in the world, and that a full 12% of the population lives in poverty?
Please keep that in mind when reading Scott Stantis' comic strip today. Keep in mind that he thought it would be funny to point out that "some people" live quiet lives of desperation, and that he had no problem having his proxy Carmen respond by saying, "Yeah. And?", one of the most heartless responses possible. And then the punchline: having the the supposedly liberal character "thank" those of us living in desperation for not making a big stink about it so he can whine and bitch about his life "in peace."
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Scott Stantis: Compassionate Conservative.
Go fuck yourself, Stantis.
December 18, 2007
Big Bottom
I'm sorry to report that CJo's theory from yesterday was slightly off: it wasn't Rockwell, but Gordon "Sting" Sumner that was echoing through Stantis' head over the weekend. But how awesome is CJo for actually picking up on that? Sir, you rule.
The cameras are still everywhere, but now Carmen and Winslow are fighting back. Winslow is sticking his tongue out, and Carmen...well, I'm not really sure what Lil' Stantis is doing. It would seem as though she's about to moon the camera, but maybe she's just a little too shy to give them the full moon (or even Stantis realized how creepy it would be for him to have a little girl do it - he might get away with Winslow pulling at her swimsuit bottom, but having her drop her pants is a bit much). Or maybe she's just grabbin' dem cakes, as the Junkyard Dog told me to do back in the glory days of the WWF.
Carmen says "point made," which I guess means that Stantis is saying the best way to combat the government illegally spying on us is to make funny faces so the people watching get a cheap laugh. Or something like that. For me personally the best way to fight back is to have a Senator like Chris Dodd threaten to filibuster giving the telecom industry retroactive immunity and watching as Harry Reid is forced to pull the terrible legislation because it's drawing too much attention to how far the other Dems are willing to give Bush what he wants. Thank you, Senator Dodd, for believing in a little something called the Constitution.
As for Stantis, thanks at least for not making this week's strip about the imaginary War on Christmas. Bill O'Reilly has that front covered all by himself.
Posted by The Furnace at 08:27 AM | Comments (2)December 16, 2007
Terrifying
(PS - why would Carmen be upset with Winslow for disrupting the over-commercialization of Christmas with his little stunt? You'd think she'd be high-fiving him after a week ago, but that would mean Stantis would have an ounce of consistency in his characters.)
December 11, 2007
Tots Who Say "Trite"
Oh geez - a full week of this? Five days of Carmen and Winslow yelling at each other? Ugh.
My favorite part of this storyline is that it's always going to be neo-con Carmen saying "I'm tired of all the divisiveness." And in some ways she's right - the Republicans don't want to argue. They just want the Democrats to do everything King George wants them to do and shut up about it. The latest funding bill fight is evidence of that. But then of course a few panels later she's the one calling Winslow dumb.
It's amazing to me - the Republican candidates all want to act like President Bush doesn't exist. They don't talk about him in the debates, and they most definitely don't mention him in their stump speeches. The Greatest Warrior Evah is already in the history books in their minds, so let's not bring him up and all this messy stuff about Iraq and the economy. Oh, and it's always been a Democratic congress so let's blame them for everything that's wrong.
Yet they all basically side with W on the major issues. They want to stay in Iraq forever (except Ron Paul, the Dennis Kucinich of the right - translated to "the guy who will win the presidency right after I do"). More tax cuts for the rich. Illegally spying on us is a good thing. Torture is patriotic. And so on. Put them behind a screen and disguise their voices and they all sound like Bush when they talk (except when it comes to immigration, but most of them are coming around to his way of thinking now that they need those corporate dollars to be competitive).
Stantis is the same way. When was the last time he mentioned the Glorius Leader? When was the last time Carmen talked about how wonderful President Bush is and how if you don't support him, you don't support the troops, and you hate America? I'm just in awe of the Republican party, where only Karl Rove is talking about Bush - everybody else is acting like he's the crazy uncle nobody brings up unless he's done something so stupid they can't ignore it (like lying about the Iran NIE - but thanks to their buddies in the media they're doing a good job of ignoring that too).
Maybe this is Stantis' way of showing that it really is the Republican party that's causing all the problems in our political scene today. Maybe he finally realizes that while the conservatives like Carmen are always talking about wanting to work together and be "bipartisan" they're really the ones who yank the football away every time the Charlie Brown Democrats try to kick it, and insist that they do what President Bush wants if they ever want to kick it. Maybe Stantis is finally sitting down and thinking about his strips and in a clever, politically relevant way getting his message across.
Nah. Stantis thinks it's funny to have Carmen and Winslow yell at each other, and as long as he shows Carmen as the one who really wants to work things out he thinks he's painting the world in beautiful neo-con red. It's just how he is - untalented and unfunny.
Ahh - finally, something I think we can all agree on.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:59 AM | Comments (4)
December 01, 2007
This Has Been Another Edition Of "Republicans Eating Their Own"
Ah yes, the "Rudy is really a Democrat" talking point. Stantis spent a week making fun of Arianna Huffington instead of talking about Winslow's support of Rudy? Priorities, mister.
Okay, let's go over this so even a numbskull like Stantis can get it through his thick head. On social issues, yes, Rudy would be considered somewhat liberal (if you listen to the old Rudy and not the flip-flopper we currently have). He was pro-choice and in favor of gay and lesbian rights (even living with a gay couple) while he was mayor.
And, well, that's about it for the "Democratic" Rudy.
As for the rest of his positions on the issues, Rudy is a neo-con even further to the right than Bush OR Cheney. His quest for an imperial presidency makes them look like amateurs. Heck he even tried to have an imperial mayorship, suggesting that they "postpone" the NYC mayoral election after 9/11 because people were still grieving after the attacks (something I wonder if W is considering himself in late 2008).
Salon writer Glenn Greenwald has done some pretty extensive writing on Giuliani's quest to be king. A good place to start is with Glenn's appropriately titled column "The Giuliani Moderation Fallacy." And here's another link from a few weeks ago, where inside there are more links to other columns he's written on Rudy's push for to be Almight Ruler. Want a guy in favor of torture? Support a candidate who wants to blow up Iran RIGHT NOW? How about a president who's okay with tossing American citizens into prison without trials? I don't see any of the current Democratic candidates holding those positions, but our Republican Rudy is right at home with those extreme Republican policies.
As Glenn says, just because a guy is left on a couple of social issues and extremely far right on everything else doesn't balance out to make him a moderate Democrat like Winslow/Stantis claims. Kinda like saying a guy who gives abandoned puppies a home is a nice guy, except for the part where he beats them to death with a ball ping hammer. The two don't cancel each other out to give us a decent guy.
This week we also found out about Rudy's business ties to countries that serve as a safe haven for al Qaeda. Business relationships he established AFTER 9/11. I guess 9/11 is the most important thing evah, unless there's money to be made. Nothing more Republican than making money. Just ask Trent Lott, who's resigning after just winning another term in the Senate so he can become a lobbyist before the rules change at the end of the year. It's all for the people - unless he can make an extra buck for himself. It's a war against "Islamo-fascism" - unless one of the countries harboring them has money they want to put into Rudy's pockets.
So go ahead Stantis - preach on that Rudy isn't your guy and he's really a Democrat. Have Winslow throw his support to him (second best Dem? really?) instead of Obama or Edwards or heck even Hillary. I have to admit you really lucked out this time, considering the revelations that Rudy charged his trysts with his then-mistress and current wife to the tax payers of NYC - those are "liberal" values, right? Unless you ask David Vitter, or Newt Gingrich, or Rush Limbaugh, or...well the list goes on and on of the Republicans that cheat on their wives. Do your best to paint Rudy as a Dem.
Since we already know you support Mike Huckabee. You know, the "conservative" that while governor of Arkansas helped to free a serial killer who then went on to rape and kill again. If those are the "Republican" values you want in a president, you go right ahead.
But gee, by your logic Stantis since Huckabee pulled a Willie Horton, then I guess he should be the third best Democratic choice, right?
November 27, 2007
Projecting Much, Stantis?
Scott Stantis has some major issues. This week we're exposed to the problems he has with women who aren't afraid to put their opinions out there, and we learn that if Hillary is a bitch, then Arianna Huffington is a dominatrix. Or maybe he sees her as the new Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS, it's not quite clear yet.
Winslow is still blogging for HuffingtonPost.com - for FREE (dun dun DUN!!!). And Arianna is still holding the whip, hypnotizing poor wittle witless Winslow into believing he should write for the site for free while she makes all the dirty filthy money. You see it's wrong for someone to want to make a website and actually make money off of it by offering liberal writers a place where they can write whatever they want, whenever they want, at no charge.
Yeah, the logic Stantis is using is pretty mind boggling.
I'm guessing that Stantis has a real problem with Arianna giving different people an avenue to get their views out there (especially dasterdly liberal viewpoints), but since they volunteer to do it for free while she makes money off the site then she's eeevil. Hmm, a Bush Republican criticizing someone for making a profit? That doesn't sound right.
He might have a point if Arianna really did have to bully people into writing for her site, but if you've ever stopped by HuffPo it's clear that there isn't even enough room for all of the different posters to have their voices heard. And if they didn't post on HuffPo, where would they go to vent about things like the Bush administration or the writers' strike? Why they'd have to start up their own websites - and odds are few people are going to want to read just what one person has to say once every two weeks. Damn you, Arianna, for giving people on the left a platform to voice their opinions!
I think what's really going on here is that Stantis is jealous of how the left has used the internet as a political tool. There isn't anything like HuffingtonPost on the right (maybe Pajamas Media - see below for a rant on that), but they've tried time and time again. The liberal netroots organizations like Act Blue have outraised right-wing internet sites and were a big part of swinging the Congress towards the Democrats in 2006. And I guess for conservative Stantis Arianna needs to be criticized and punished for daring to provide a site that brings together all kinds of viewpoints on the left side of the spectrum - especially since he has his own daily platform WHICH HE GETS PAID TO DO.
Once again, hypocrisy - thy name is Stantis.
(Side note: I thought that it was wrong-wrong-wrong to EVER bring up the gulags when talking about politics these days. When Dick Durbin compared Guantanamo Bay to the gulags he was tarred and feathered by the Republicans. Apparently it's okay for Stantis to refer to them though when trashing HuffPo. Like I said, hypocrisy...)
***
I know I've already rambled on today, but I want to bring up another issue with today's strip. Stantis has Arianna saying that Winslow is better than those commentators who make money off their work. As if bloggers are rolling in the dough on their sites.
First off, wrong. Most bloggers (like us here at the Ville of the Shrub) do it for free. The bigger ones do start making money - but usually it's just enough to keep the site going and maybe, just maybe if you're big enough, to start doing it full time.
Secondly, there's a dirty little secret behind right-wing bloggers. Much like with ring wing publishing, Republican bloggers tend to be supported by what Jane Hamsher has referred to as "wingnut welfare." While the bloggers on the left started out doing it because they were passionate about getting their thoughts and opinions out there, the Republicans realized they were behind the curve and started to subsidize their own websites. The reality is most conservative blogs lose money, but thanks to some deep red pockets they're kept alive and well. Someone like Arianna, who started HuffPo on her own and has made it one of the biggest blogs on the left without the deep pockets of the Democratic party, must piss off guys like Stantis who realize their side hasn't figured out a way to turn a profit (or don't want to turn a profit - they just want to get their talking points out there) or be politically successful on the net.
Or that the only reason their conservative comic strips are in the newspaper is because a funnier, more successful liberal strip is already there and the papers feel a need for "balance." And the only way a strip like, oh, I dunno, Prickly City can stay in the papers is if the writer is paid to continue to spew right wing talking points. Sucks to be you, Stantis.
November 24, 2007
There Were TWO Press Releases Yesterday?
Whoa - wait a minute. What the heck just happened?
Yesterday, Winslow corrected Carmen that people on the left now want to be called progressives, not liberals. He handed her a press release stating as much. In the third panel, we see Carmen - who is now holding what I thought was the same press release, reading it for herself. In the last panel, she seems to correct Winslow, saying that the press release says that liberals want to be called puppies, not progressives. Am I the only one that thought that's what the strip was trying to say? Not so much that Winslow is so completely stupid that he mis-read the word "puppies" as "progressives" (although considering how dumbed down Stantis has made him that was an easy thing to believe), but that lefties were so desperate to avoid the term liberals that they would want something even Republicans couldn't make sound bad - puppies.
But now we get today's strip. Apparently Carmen came up with her own press release (wtf?) and that one says that conservatives are the ones that want to be called puppies. All together now: huh? There were two press releases in yesterday's strip? Carmen was carrying her own press release around and didn't tell Winslow first? Or maybe Stantis is pulling the old conservative tactic of blaming the other side of doing what they've done all along, as if the liberals all this time are really the ones that have been demonizing the word conservative. Um, no - people still proudly use that term to describe themselves on the right. Although they usually put the word "Reagan" in front of it.
"Republican," on the other hand, has become a dirty word mainly thanks to what the Republicans have done to this country over the last seven years.
I think back to back these might be the two worst strips written in the history of Prickly City. Not so much for their content, but how poorly they were written. I can't believe I'm the only person that thought yesterday's strip was a joke about how liberals now want to be called puppies. And today we find out that Carmen had her own press release and it's really conservatives that want that term for themselves? Does that make any sense?
As for the meat of the storyline, Stantis is of course making fun of liberals for wanting to be called something different. "Oh how silly you lefties are - if you want to change your name, then we can change ours too. Ha ha ha." Hey Stantis - why don't you call yourself what you really are: a Dixiecrat. You're a Southern conservative who claims not to be a Republican and not to be a Democrat. What's that you say? You don't want to be called a Dixiecrat because it's tied to racist policies? Hey, let's go back to your strips on illegal immigration and take a look at those again...I'm sure nobody would have considered the Mexican Winslow a racist stereotype...
These two strips hinge on one thing: Carmen's statement in the third panel of today's strip. "If you can change what people call you because it's a slur, so can we!" Again I'd like to point out that calling someone a conservative isn't considered a slur. Never really has been. "Liberal" has fallen that far thanks to what the Republican machine has done over the last few decades. As CJo pointed out yesterday folks like Rush and Ann Coulter say "liberal" like it's a dirty word, and the worst thing you can possibly call someone. Do people on the left say "conservative" like it's the most insulting thing possible? Nope. Now if you want to call someone on the right a "Bush Republican," that's a whole other story. I'm starting to use it as a substitute for MF'er.
I will admit the last panel is a valiant attempt at saving this strip (and obviously the punchline that Stantis was trying to build to by even starting this storyline). He has to admit that the Republicans are the ones that killed the SCHIP bill, something that as a "conservative" (I'm guessing that's what he is this week) is ashamed of. The whole "deny healthcare to the kids of working class families" thing - especially since it was originally passed by the Republican Congress under Clinton - is all about supporting the Bush Republicans at all costs, and even Stantis doesn't want to be associated with it. Oops, sorry Stantis, it's your party, it's your conservative movement, this is what you voted for and this is what you're getting. Don't try to run away from it now. Embrace it. Be proud of your "conservative" politics.
And don't sully the names of good puppies everywhere because you're a Bush Republican.
Posted by The Furnace at 08:43 AM | Comments (3)November 16, 2007
How Stantis Views Doctors
Believe it or not, CJo is out sick today. He's only got a cold (well, and a hangover) but he really should go to the hospital, because according to Stantis he'd be given a private room and all the attention he needs without waiting in lines or filling out paperwork. Well, at least according to Stantis the last two days - on Wednesday that's what Winslow was complaining about and kicked this storyline into high gear in the first place. Sigh.
Today we get another "if government ran healthcare" strip, this time featuring doctors (one of whom is smoking) who are lazy construction workers taking a break on the taxpayer's dime. Amazing that Stantis thinks that as soon as we take healthcare out of the corporations' power that doctors will become slackers only cashing a paycheck. He has such a high opinion of our nation's healthcare providers.
(Sidenote: how awesome would it be if Stantis went in for his annual check up and his doctor had this strip framed on the wall? I can just picture the doc now, pulling on his gloves and saying "So, you think I'm a lazy bum only in it for the money, do ya? Bend over and cough, bitch.")
I might understand Stantis' argument if he had actually written a storyline that made sense. Winslow went to the emergency room (the one place where they have to provide medical care if it really is an emergency - heck, even President Bush claims that's providing healthcare for everybody). There he had to deal with long lines and filling out paperwork.
The next day he's in a private room where everything is apparently perfect. No long lines, no paperwork like you get at the DMV and at the airport. You never have to deal with that at corporate hospitals. Same thing today - all the healthcare you need is just an emergency room away, apparently.
My big question: will Stantis address the COST of all of this tomorrow? I don't know how Winslow has healthcare - as it was pointed out in the comments the other day, the only way he might is if Stantis resorts to saying that his role on Prickly City is really a job and the newspaper is providing him with healthcare. But that wouldn't really make much sense (yeah, I know, we're talking PC here).
All I can say is that I don't have healthcare, and considering the cost of the medication I bought yesterday I might as well just start buying crack because it would be cheaper and probably just as effective. Let's see if Stantis has the balls to tackle the real issue in all of this - AFFORDABLE healthcare.
Oh and I just remembered something - isn't Winslow described by Stantis as a coyote "pup?" Is this somehow a reaction to the S-CHIP debate? If it is, then this storyline is even worse than I thought. Aye carumba.
One more thing - the guys who work on roads in my town are a part of IDOT, or the Illinois Department of Transporation. Not the USDOT. Do we have federal road crews? I didn't think so, much like was pointed out by another fine reader about the STATE run DMV yesterday. Geez Stantis, can't you get your act together and make a cogent argument about ANYTHING?
November 06, 2007
She Who Smelt It...
My first thought when reading today's Prickly City: what are those scribbles behind Carmen? Stink lines? At first it looks like she's whoooshing into the frame ("Hurry - ask Kevin a question!") but then it's like a dust cloud in the last frame. Odd.
As for the strip, Carmen/Stantis wonders why Kevin is resorting to the politics of fear. It's as if he wasn't around in 2004. Democratic candidate Winslow is of course freaked out, much like the rest of the candidates in the current "race" (I like to put race in quotes since the media has already decided Hillary and Giuliani are the candidates - why bother voting when they know what's best?).
I must admit that Kevin does look really evil, which is one of the few positive things I've had to say about Stantis' drawing ability. Too bad it's a week after Halloween, when having a scary character like that would have been fitting. And too bad it's in a strip where Carmen's weight fluxuates more than Oprah's.
You know what this strip needs? MORE STINK LINES!
That'll fix it.
November 03, 2007
The New Hitlers
Nazis. Communists. al Qaeda. MoveOn.org.
Move over, big nasties - the Republicans have found a new evil enemy. And this one's ALREADY IN AMERICA!
Yup, much like the President on Wednesday, Stantis sets his sights on that terrifying new threat to our way of life, MoveOn.org. However, I don't really think Stantis - again, much like the President - actually knows WHAT MoveOn is and what they do, other than they're liberal and on the internets so they must hate America.
If he did know anything about them, Stantis might have realized how stupid it is to say they would donate $2 million to Winslow's campaign. Using this conservative blog post as a reference, MoveOn hasn't even given a quarter of that in donations yet this year - and that's spread out over the presidential and congressional races. Obama's gotten $30,000, while Hillary brings up the rear with a piddly $5,000. Kind of a stretch to think they would donate $2 million to a candidate like Winslow. But what do I know, I'm not some big time conservative cartoonist who only keeps his job because I'm a Bush Backer.
I find it interesting that Stantis himself took the time to reflect on what happened this week - saved us some time here at Shrubville. It's almost as if he knew we'd end up doing it ourselves, trying to figure out what the heck he was talking about all week - like we have to do at the end of most weeks.
Question: how did Winslow come across like a Ron Paul wannabe?
But the big point of this "comic" was to bash MoveOn by having them give Winslow money, but not explain why. Of course the real joke is that Stantis didn't know why, and didn't want to spend any time trying to come up with a legit and funny reason, so we get Carmen's lame punchline. There's actually a lot of logic at work in their donations, Stantis - and it involves supporting the candidates they think have the best chance at defeating Republicans in the 2008 elections. But you wouldn't know that because I'm betting you don't even know what MoveOn.org is - you just heard Rush, Hannity, and W bashing them so you thought it would be cute to bash them too. Welcome to the party, pal - you're about two months late.
Next up: the menace that is Keith Olbermann!
October 30, 2007
Cam-pain
Um, what?
Does Scott Stantis actually follow politics? Or does he just watch Fox News, where nobody gets any actual information about the campaign other than how awesome Rudy Giuliani is and how Hillary wants to eat puppies?
Let's see where we're at in the Winslow campaign. Winslow is shocked that after declaring his candidacy back in late June for the Prickly City Democratic primary that he's slipped so far in the polls. Oh, and not just declaring his candidacy - actually WINNING the primary. He says his campaign strategy was waiting - using Fred Thompson as his example. You know, the Fred Thompson who wasn't even considered a potential candidate in June, and didn't declare until September.
Let me go through that one more time: Winslow, who declared his candidacy this past summer, was following Fred Thompsons lead and was going to wait to declare...no...um...what exactly was Winslow waiting for again? To actually run his campaign? But didn't he do that when he tried to go to Iowa after winning the PC primary, and had campaign workers there?
Ahem. I guess we should move on, otherwise my brain will turn to mush. According to Carmen people NOW think Fred Thompson is slow and lazy - even though that was something that dogged Thompson when he was serving back in the Senate in the 90s. Brain...mushier...
Then the topper. The brain-liquifier. Winslow asks if it's the good kind of slow and lazy, and Carmen says "only if by 'good' you mean 'in last place'."
Except, of course, that Thompson hasn't been in last place since he entered the race. That honor has been owned by guys like McCain, Brownback, Tancredo, and Paul - but never Fred Thompson. Even before he declared.
Oh, and Winslow is running as a Democrat, where he'll be competing against Mike "Last Place Is All Mine, Bitch" Gravel.
Man I hope that Stantis was smart enough to look at his calendar two weeks ago so tomorrow can be an unrelated Halloween strip and not another one of these completely non-sensical Winslow campaign strips. I thought they were bad this past summer - it's like Stantis is going out of his way to say "You thought that sucked - you ain't seen nothin' yet!"
Posted by The Furnace at 09:11 AM | Comments (1)October 23, 2007
Nice To See Someone Laughing At Carmen - Lord Knows The Audience Doesn't
Boy, if we didn't know any better it would seem as though Stantis was writing Prickly City hours before going to press instead of two weeks ago. Of course, it hasn't worked out well, but still - it's timely.
Yesterday he accused Hillary of the "error of big government" - on the same day President Bush asked for ANOTHER $42 million dollars for his wars without end. Nothing like a veto for money for healthcare for kids of working families and then asking for more money for war. And oh did you hear Osama has a new tape out? It's like Stantis coordinated with the RNC and al Qaeda.
Today we learn that Carmen is liking former Arkansas governor and current Religious Right favorite Mike Huckabee in the Presidential race. Coicidentally enough, at the Republican debate just the other day Huckabee did some good ol' fashioned pandering to the faithful in the audience by saying that most of the Founding Fathers who signed the Declaration of Independence were clergymen. Which of course means we're a Christian Nation, dontcha know. Something I'm sure Carmen loves to hear.
Slight problem. Of the 56 signers of the Declaration, only 1 was a clergyman. But hey, why let the truth get in the way of a good pandering to the Religious Right? Of course it does Huckabee no good to pander to the Deists in the crowd, even though there were more of them amongst the Founding Fathers than clergymen.
I'm sure the media will get right on this blatant lie, as soon as they stop saying that Al Gore said he invented the internet.
It makes sense for Carmen to support Huckabee, and I wouldn't doubt that he'll emerge as the Bill Clinton-esque dark horse after Iowa. Romney's a flip flopper Mormon from a blue state. Giuliani was pro-abortion, pro-gay marriage, was once married to his cousin, and can't say a sentence without mentioning 9/11. Fred Thompson is arguably lazier than Stantis, and wasn't nearly the savior the righties thought he would be. That leaves Huckabee, whose greatest claim to fame is losing a lot of weight. Oh, and he has no problem lying and playing to the base. I'm sure more and more Republicans are looking his way, especially the "Value Voters" from the debate the other night. Carmen, you might be ahead of the curve on this one.
But maybe you should stop running Winslow's campaign if you're going to come out and support one of the people he could be running against. Or did Stantis forget that little tidbit?
October 07, 2007
Stantis And His Freaky Thong Obsession
Boy, it must really suck to be a conservative "comedian" nowadays.
Look at Stantis. He's been struggling for months now to try and remain political even though most of the things making people laugh are thanks to the Republican party. Instead he wasted a week on a dog named Trouble and before that a month on the "Democrat" Winslow running for President without making many jokes about actual campaign issues.
Everybody knows at this point that if there's a sex scandal in politics, the odds are overwhelming that a conservative Republican is involved. Just this past year we had Larry Craig in the men's bathroom, David Vitter's admitted hiring of whores, that Ohio campaign manager who molested men in their sleep, and just the other day a conservative prosecutor from Florida killed himself after he was arrested in Detroit trying to meet up with a child for sex. Time after time, if it involves kinky (and usually illegal) sex, it's a Republican.
Which is why today's Prickly City is such a monumental failure. It's a gag we've seen before - tease us that we're going to see hot "Girls Gone Wild," then pull the switch and show us we're really seeing ugly middle aged men who are drunk and stupid. But then there's the Stantis punchline: SENATORS Gone Wild - featuring a picture of Larry Craig and...Ted Kennedy? Huh?
Oh I see - Ted Kennedy is a lush, so he should be included in a tape alongside a Republican Senator looking for gay sex and a Republican Senator that hires hookers. Sorry Stantis, but this is one of those cases where "fair and balanced" just exposes your inability to admit when your side is the one that's really f***ed up when it comes to sexuality.
I really wish I could have said, "Hey look - at least Stantis is willing to make fun of his own party!" But he's not. Instead of the more obvious "GOP Gone Wild!" - which actually makes sense - Stantis had to draw Teddy in there and make it about ALL Senators, trying to say "well the Democrats do it too!" Not like this they don't, Stantis.
So should we take bets on whether or not this is the one and only appearance Larry Craig makes in Prickly City? There sure is a lot of material that can be mined here by a highly trained comic strip artist looking for some easy comedic gold.
Sorry, had to make myself chuckle. Expect a full week of "Oprah loves Obama!" or maybe "Did you see Hillary's cleavage?" instead.
September 22, 2007
Don't Go Dragging Larry King Into This
Subtlety, thy name isn't Stantis. Apparently our boy Scotty must have had a birthday or just got his Social Security retirement info from the government, because he sure is pissed off at the baby boomers (of which he claims he isn't one, although I'm guessing he only missed the cut off date by a few years***). It's given us a great view inside the mind of a bitter conservative who, rather than make things called "jokes," has decided to gross out his audience and then make bizarre platform statements as if everybody should know they're true.
There's just something sickly twisted about how conservatives view the world. According to Stantis the baby boomers are the most "self-absorbed" generation, whatever that means. Guess he hasn't checked out the latest batch of X-Box kids coming down the pipe, or the Gen-Xers before them. Yup, the folks that fought the Viet Nam war and who have worked since high school are self-absorbed. Isn't that a great slap in the face? A guy who draws terribly and can't write a joke for a living is telling my Dad, who fought in Nam and has worked in the same job for the past 40 plus years, is a selfish fat pig who wears a diaper and a ponytail.
Hey Stantis, have you even LOOKED at who the readership of newspapers is nowadays? You think it's the kids? Ha ha ha ha ha!
But nope - Stantis can't be stopped to think! He's got too many people to insult! Because, dontcha know, these lazy baby boomers don't want to work anymore (after they've worked from age 18 to 65, since this first round of retirees didn't really go to college)! How dare they pay into something for 47 years and ask to get that money back to support them in their old age?! Ingrates! Nope, now that Social Security is nearly bankrupt they expect their kids to be the ones working! I mean, it's not like the boomers worked to support their parents, did they? Oh, wait, they did?
And wait a sec - why is Social Security going bankrupt? Ohhh...Bush cut taxes for the rich and had to borrow from SS to do it. Hmm. So how exactly can we blame that on the baby boomers again? Don't worry, Stantis doesn't care about little things like "facts" - baby boomers are self-absorbed pigs and that's that.
I'm just wondering where the heck Stantis got it into his head that Boomers are fat, gross, disgusting, selfish assholes that are greedy pigs only thinking about themselves. Where is that coming from? Because they want their money back that they paid into the account? Because they lost the Viet Nam war? I wonder if that's part of it - if they had won Nam, they would "deserve" their SS retirement, but since they're "losers" they shouldn't get a dime. Can't wait for Stantis to tell that to the guys fighting in the Middle East right now. "Sorry boys, you did your best and it's the government and the politicians that lost this war that we should have never started in the first place, but since you didn't really "win" you don't deserve to retire, you selfish pigs." Sounds bizarre, doesn't it? But that's how Stantis sounds to me when he goes after my parents like he did this week.
I also love the little tack on at the end about Carmen saying she'll never be able to retire. Because, dontcha know, SS will be bankrupt in 2040! Or 2056! Or 2028 - they keep changing the year. Doesn't matter - kids today can never retire! Except, of course, that whenever that year Republicans say SS will be "bankrupt" actually means that the system won't be able to pay out 100% of what it owes - more like 80%. Not exactly bankrupt, but don't tell the Bush Republicans that. Can't let pesky little things like facts get in the way, can we?
Oh, and when did Larry King ask to retire? From the looks of it (meaning: Larry King has looked exactly the same since I was a kid twenty years ago) Larry wants to keep working. And I say good for him. I say if you love your job, keep doing it until you can't anymore.
Unless you're Stantis - if you love your job, the best thing you can do for the rest of us is quit right now.
***UPDATE***
I just pulled up Stantis's wikipedia entry. According to them, Stantis was born in 1959. A Baby Boomer is defined as a person born between 1946 and 1964.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Scott Stantis is a Baby Boomer.
Talk about your self-loathing.
September 16, 2007
Fightin' Conservatives
I think today's Prickly City is interesting more for what it doesn't show than what's actually there, and it ties in nicely with what Salon writer Glenn Greenwald talked about in his post yesterday. In PC Carmen is "fighting" with herself, daydreaming that she's a warrior, fighting herself as a sumo wrestler, a boxer, and I'm guessing a samurai (yeah, that one doesn't make much sense - I wonder if he started drawing Carmen fencing herself but since she'd be wearing that weird silver face mask we couldn't tell it was her). This internal struggle, of course, is trying to figure out what it means to be a conservative today.
What's interesting to me is that she summed up the current conservative leadership pretty well by showing the one thing so many of them refuse to do: actually fight in our military as a member of the armed forces as real warriors. These tough guys are so anxious to fight they're more than happy to send other kids off to battle in wars based on lies, but don't you dare ask them to go themselves or send some of their own loved ones. Republican House Minority Leader John Boehner referred to the deaths of our troops in Iraq as a "small price." Bill O'Reilly is more than happy to send off another thousand troops to die in Iraq - just don't ask him or his family to volunteer. Of course they're joined by the various neo-conservative warhawks like the Kagan family and Bill Kristol, who have been wrong about everything when it comes to these wars yet are now pushing to invade Iran. Needless to say none of them have sacrificed anything when it comes to being true warriors and actually fighting themselves.
I understand it must be difficult claiming to be a conservative these days. Guys like Stantis were more than happy to support Bush in 2000 and 2004. What's the difference now that it's 2007? Well, all of the conservative policies Bush and the conservative Republicans put in place and they loudly endorsed have proven to be catastrophic failures. Nothing's changed in their actual belief systems - it's just been proven that their form of governing doesn't work, and they can't accept that. "It must be the Democrats' fault!" "Let's blame it on the terrorists!" "George W. Bush isn't a REAL conservative!" And on and on it goes.
That internal struggle of yours, Carmen/Stantis? Has nothing to do with being a conservative. It has everything to do with you coming to terms with the fact that the politics you believe in are a complete and utter failure. You had your chance. Six years of unchecked power. And you've given us two wars without end, a recession, and a world that hates us all while the rich get rich and the rest of us suffer with medical bills and a crumbling infrastructure. And you failed. You shouldn't be fighting with your conscience.
You should just be apologizing to the rest of us.
September 11, 2007
Who Do You Trust?
The sad thing is Mindcrime was written twenty years ago, but it's even more relevant today. Just like "John Carpenter's They Live."
Hey, you know when today's strip might have been relevant? Maybe back in December 2005, when the story about Bush illegally spying on us first broke. Which, as some of you may recall, was well over a year AFTER the New York Times reporters discovered what was happening, but the paper's editors chose not to run the story in late 2004 for fear of "influencing" the election. Yeah, last thing this country needed in October 2004 was to find out the truth about Bush's spying on us without warrants. That surely wasn't important.
Even though I don't think he realizes it, Stantis does a great job today of pointing out how - pardon my french - but how f*cking stupid conservatives are that follow Bush and the Republicans. The key is that second panel, where Carmen says, "Why shouldn't I believe whoever's in charge has my best interests in mind?"
Of course Winston follows that up by scaring Carmen into believing that maybe Hillary will someday have those powers, so she must be stopped. So does this mean that Carmen DOES trust Bush to do the right thing? Does Carmen, and therefore Stantis, truly, honestly believe that Bush gives a damn what she thinks or wants?
This isn't just about illegal spying. It should encompass everything Bush has said or done during his entire reign as imperial president. Do Republicans honestly believe that Bush invaded Iraq and continues to stay there because he thinks it's best for the average American? Cutting taxes for the rich while they rise for the middle class? Blowing off Katrina? Ignoring warnings that Osama is determined to strike in the U.S.?
Of course they do. Republicans HAVE to believe that everything their leaders do is in their best interest, because they're the daddy party and they know what's right and they'll protect us and beat up the bad terrorists and blah blah blah. Suuuuure, Bush is spying on us, but he can be TRUSTED. But Hillary? That bitch would use it for evil. She'd probably illegally spy on her political opponents and use that information to rig elections. She'd wiretap normal Americans and then use things she found out completely unrelated to terrorism in order to put people in jail that she doesn't like. Then she'd probably let them sit and rot in G'itmo for years and years, like the evil witch she is.
I'm sorry, maybe I'm just really grumpy this morning. But it's just amazing to me that a grown man like Stantis - sure he's a college drop out, but he did finish high school (I think) - can sit there and tell us that we should trust Bush to spy on us, but if a Democrat gets in there, they'll take advantage of us. That's so completely nonsensical - ESPECIALLY based on everything we know about Bush and his cronies - that it's hard for me to fathom that these people are still willing to bow down and kiss Bush's ring.
Then again, 40% of Americans STILL think Saddam had something to do with 9/11. Maybe it's not so surprising that Republicans have given up on thinking for themselves and instead want George W. Bush to do all of their thinking for them. That sure does explain why our country, and the world, is so f'd up.
September 04, 2007
Because Saddam Was Secular, So It's A Better Slam Than Calling Him An Atheist
If it were up to that secular Winston, Xmas would be more about presents and candy than Baby Jesus's birthday. Which was probably in April, but that's besides the point. The real point is, anybody who disagrees with Stantis is going to hell.
Uh oh...looks like somebody's been reading Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly again. What happened Stantis - did you to take the family to the beach and decide to bring along with your personally autographed copy of "Culture Warrior" to pass away the time?
Of course I'm just guessing that's what happened based on this latest storyline. Suddenly Winslow is "secular" and living in a "secular society." Huh...outside of O'Reilly and his bashing of people he refers to as "secular progressives" (translated: liberals and anybody who disagrees with him) I haven't heard of anybody referring to this as a secular society. But I must admit I haven't been attending the mandatory George Soros meetings like a good little secular progressive so I might be out of the secular loop.
Today Winston forces Carmen to wear a "God hat" with the word "dunce" on it. Because everybody knows that "secularists" love to force their views on religion on everybody else. Unfortunately they can't say that if you don't agree with them you'll go to a place filled with fire and brimstone, so instead they have to use silly looking hats as the ultimate threat.
What exactly is Stantis getting at here? Where are all of these liberals and atheists and "secularists" that he's talking about who say if you believe in God you're an idiot? There's this bizarre belief in the 28 percenters that if you don't agree with Republicans - especially Bush - then you're a godless heathen who thinks everybody else is an idiot and wants to make everybody renounce their faith. Where do they come up with this stuff? Please, Stantis, tell me where this storyline originated. I would love for you to explain to me where you're coming from in all of this. Did you happen to catch Christopher Hitchens on the late night tee vee one night and since he's an atheist, then all atheists are like that? Heck, all Stantis had to do was see Hitchens's last book "God Is Not Great" on the bookshelf and decide he was an evil secular progressive that must be dealt with by handing out a crushing Christ-powered blow via the pen and the mighty Prickly City Players.
My favorite little part in today's strip is when Carmen asks Winslow, "can we discuss this?" As if she's the calm, cool, well-reasoned one of the two who would like to take the time to discuss things rationally with the heathen Winston. The same girl who once punched him in the face because he disagreed with her. Nice try Stantis, but we're not THAT stupid. Keep the dunce cap for yourself.
Posted by The Furnace at 08:30 AM | Comments (4)
August 18, 2007
Yeah, Like The Republicans Have Had a Decent Candidate In 20 Years
The best the Republicans have to offer.
Oh hey, look - Scott Stantis decided to take a break from his gripping "Winston for President" series to offer political commentary. I'd almost forgotten that the whole reason Stantis even has a strip is because he's supposed to offer political insights. Instead we've been treated to "corn is dumb" and "Winslow is dumber."
Stantis finally jumps on the "nobody likes the Republican candidates" bandwagon, and in fine Prickly City fashion he wastes most of the strip on nothing but the sky and the desert (which require zero artistic ability, which is why Stantis loves these strips so much). I think that's supposed to be a tumbleweed rolling through the strip. Or Kevin the Apocalypse Bunny - hard to tell.
I wonder if Stantis will go anywhere with this, and prove he's not really a Bush Republican like he keeps claiming. There's a ton of material here to work with. Giuliani and his claims that he spent more time than the 9/11 workers at Ground Zero so he's "one of them," Romney strapping the family dog to the roof of the station wagon for family trips while telling us the reason his sons aren't serving in the military is because they're serving the country by helping him get elected, Fred Thompson's infamous red pickup truck - and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Instead Stantis will probably whine about Ron Paul and how he wants to get out of Iraq. It's really depressing when folks on the left cheer for this guy - yeah, he wants to bring our troops home, but do you have any idea where he stands on the other issues? Trust me, while his views on Iraq are admirable, he won't be all that different from Tancredo or Brownback when it comes to everything else (what, you didn't know he wants to abolish public schools?).
Then again this is Prickly City, so after wasting tomorrow on an unrelated topic (how long has it been since he referenced Britney or Lindsay? been a while) he'll go right back to "Winslow is or isn't in Iowa and is still an idiot." Which is really depressing, since I don't think Stantis has picked up on the fact that it's no longer a case of critics of the strip reading because they're outraged - people are completely apathetic about the strip now. You can always tell when Stantis has said something stupid and offensive - people would come to Shrubville to vent. Nowadays Shrubville is just like today's strip - no activity whatsoever. I don't think that's a poor reflection on us - people could just care less about Prickly City.
And if that means the end of PC, we hear at the Ville of the Shrub would be more than happy to close our doors too. Especially Sacki, since I don't think he's read the strip in months.
July 15, 2007
How To Ruin A Decent Joke, By Scott Stantis
As if to flip a huge middle finger to Pellucid and his misunderstanding of how the comic publishing industry supposedly works, Stantis carries over his current "Winslow for the Democratic nomination" storyline onto Sunday. Then he flips a huge middle finger to the rest of us by being unfunny. Again.
Stantis has all kinds of fun with a bunch of buzz words, even though none of them really make any sense in this context. You see Carmen is all worried for her best friend - he has to address this major issue that the base of the party is demanding he respond to. And what's this major issue that the news has been covering for 24-7?
Winslow wears fur. Um, ha?
Yeah, it's a decent gag. All smelly stinky dirty liberals hate people who wear fur, so of course they're going to go after a coyote. But then Stantis has to try and modernize the "joke," having Winslow say that since he was a pup he's worn "sustainable, bio-degradable, carbon-offset fur." Oh, and don't forget the zinger about waxing his unibrow.
But why ruin a gag with all that global warming talk? It just distracts from the main point Stantis is making, which is "wearing fur is bad according to lefties." That's kind of amusing. But then you toss in all that other stuff and it feels like a Republican piling on "just cuz."
And it seems as though Stantis is just a wee bit confused (shocking, I know). The base of the Democratic party isn't the hardcore PETA folks like Republicans seem to think - they're more along the lines of the base of the Green party. They're the people who voted for Nader in 2000. Unlike Stantis's Republican party, where the base really truly is the hardcore Religious Righties who place party above country (just ask Karl Rove), the base of the Dems aren't the radicals Stantis and the rest of his conservative buddies love to rag on. But in Stantis's world the "true" liberals are eco-terrorists who only eat mulch and throw paint on supermodels. Sorry, not the case.
I think my favorite part of this strip is that Stantis wastes a third of it with nothing but white. No real reason, other than I guess to emphasize the impact of that hysterical punchline (well, punchlines - can't forget the unibrow). Maybe it was a subtle slam on conservationists - Stantis is such a Republican that he has no problem wasting valuable trees that he'll devote a third of his strip to nothing but white. Nah. He's just a lazy azz comic strip writer who can't be bothered with actually drawing enough to fill up an entire comic.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:05 AM | Comments (0)July 01, 2007
Scott Stantis Is Wrong
The basis of today's Prickly City is quite troubling. The "joke" itself isn't terrible - ha ha, Winslow reads Cosmo, ha ha. See, he's a silly woman of a liberal and blah blah blah whatever.
What bothers me is that Winslow even has to ask who knows the difference between right and wrong anymore. Um, most of us do, Stantis.
Maybe it's easier for you and the rest of the Republicans to throw up your hands and say "if the President does it, then it can't be wrong." Why dirty your hands with things like debating how vile torture is, or that it's wrong for the U.S. to arrest people with no charges and keep them in prison for five years without a trial? It's all in the name of the Global War On Terror (Or The Great Battle Against Extremists, I'm never sure what they're calling Us. vs. Brown People Who Talk Funny And Don't Read The Bible anymore). And if President Bush and President Cheney (not a typo) say we have to do it, there is no right and wrong - only Right.
Can you imagine Vice President Al Gore, in the late 1990s, telling the Republican congress to go spit when they try to investigate his office and possible illegal dealings going on behind the scenes? If V.P. Gore had said "Oh, I'm not a member of the Executive Branch - or the Legislative - I have the power of BOTH?"
Or how about President Clinton running secret prisons throughout Europe? What would Newt Gingrich have said if he found out that Clinton was illegally spying on millions of Americans, all in the name of the Great War On Terrorists That Are Now All Part Of Al Qaeda?
Yeah, they're all rhetorical questions. We know that Republicans would be running around screaming how terrible the White House is, and they'd impeach him faster than (insert Monica oral sex joke here). Why? Because the Republicans know what Bush is doing is wrong.
I'm sorry you're so terrified of the Big Bad Terrorists Stantis that you're not even sure what right and wrong is anymore. It must be a very scary world you live in, where Osama and Saddam hold hands under your bed every night waiting to jump out and make you wet yourself.
However more and more of us are taking FDR's words to heart when it comes to fear. I'm not afra