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August 31, 2008
Something New: Alternate Future Goggles!
Looks like Stantis dusted off the sick day pile and tossed out a strip about how much liberals love to sue people (or something like that). It's not like there's anything else going on in the world that Stantis could have used today's strip to comment on.
Fortunately for me something very special arrived in the mail: the Alternate Future Goggles(TM)! My old Future Goggles shattered when Stantis accused President Bill Clinton of being a pedophile (even the goggles couldn't have seen that coming), so I had them rush me out this new invention. However these goggles are different - they don't see the future of Prickly City two weeks from now, instead they see what Stantis COULD talk about two weeks from now, but didn't because he's a Republican pussy who's too afraid to make fun of his own party. Here goes...
- Carmen will be vetted to be John McCain's running mate. However they'll go with someone even less qualified to be a heartbeat away from the presidency: Sarah Palin. Carmen, Mitt Romney, and Tim Pawlenty will form a support group, led by Hillary Clinton (note from The Furnace: see, I don't mind making fun of Democrats).
- Since Presidents Bush and Cheney won't show up at the RNC because of "Gustav" (yeah, THAT'S why they're not making speeches - because they're so worried about New Orleans - suuuuuure), Carmen is named a keynote speaker. However Winslow will come up with a clever disguise (involving shaving a part down the middle of his head and two black pipe cleaners as fake pigtails) and address the crowd by reminding them that McCain cheated on his wife, was part of the Keating 5, and has flip flopped on almost every issue. And the Republican sheep will cheer it all, because hey - he's a Republican, he can do no wrong!
- Winslow will ask Carmen how many kids John McCain has. Carmen won't know, so Winslow will try to explain it to her. Lemme guess - you don't know either? Here's a hint: it's 7. But how many are his, and how many belong to other daddys?
- Scott Stantis won't make lame jokes about a hurricane. Like I said, these are ALTERNATE Future Goggles.
- Scott Stantis will be fired for suggesting that a former president tried to fondle an 8-year-old. Again, alternate future.
So there you have it. There are still a few bugs to work out in these new goggles since they're not very funny yet, but when it comes to Prickly City, nothing is.
Posted by The Furnace at 10:04 AM | Comments (0)August 30, 2008
The Kids Sure Do Love Peggy Noonan Jokes - And Bill Clinton Just Loves Kids. And By Loves Kids, Scott Stantis Means Bubba Wants To Have Sex With Them
For starters, I'd like to remind everyone that yesterday, Scott Stantis basically called President Clinton a pedophile, saying he was hitting on an 8-year-old girl. That's the level of "talent" we're dealing with here. How Stantis keeps his strip after that, I have no idea.
Today this whole Chinese Olympics/Carmen brainwashing/DNC mega-storyline comes to a screeching halt as Carmen explains IN A SINGLE PANEL how she snapped out of her "commie daze." And of course it's because someone tried to convince her to become a stereotypical liberal: drive a hybrid, only eat vegetables, and "tax and regulate" everything. Originality, thy name isn't Stantis. I guess he ran out of room to include "latte-sipping" - or maybe after John McCain's little field trip featuring a fleet of nine cars to get himself a large cappuccino he thought it best to leave it out.
Reminder: yesterday Scott Stantis "joked" that Bill Clinton wanted to fuck an 8-year-old.
So how does Carmen want to celebrate her newly-recovered Republicanism? Well by eating a burger (cuz libs don't eat meat) and making the tax cuts permanent! Hardy har! Nice to see Carmen admit that the tax cuts were never supposed to be permanent, and when the time comes it will be George W. Bush who will be "raising" taxes back to the levels where they were in 2000.
Then Winslow makes a Peggy Noonan joke.
The sound of crickets chirping is deafening.
Hey, I'll bet if Peggy Noonan was a child, Scott Stantis would have joked that Bill Clinton would want to fuck her. That would have been hysterical.
I guess there are a couple of good things to come out of this. One is that like CJo pointed out Stantis can go back to regurgitating Republican talking points without question. Bash the Clintons, stereotype liberals, figure out a way to call Obama an uppity negro, etc. I can't wait for Stantis to tell us how much he loves the pick of Sarah Palin and how inexperienced Joe Biden is.
The other good thing is that my brain won't hurt trying to figure out how completely stupid and illogical this whole brainwashing storyline has been. So let me get this straight: Communist Carmen spoke in front of the DNC and they loved her (Bill Clinton especially - but he wanted to have sex with her, because he's a child rapist according to Stantis), but when they pressured her to become a liberal - which apparently is no longer the same thing as being a Communist - she snapped out of her daze.
Got all that? Liberals are the same as Communists, but not.
Scott Stantis: paid to be unfunny while accusing a former president of being a child molester.
August 29, 2008
Sarah Palin Tall
Once again, Scott Stantis gets it wrong.
Bill Clinton doesn't like 'em 8-years-old and Hispanic.
He likes 'em big. He likes 'em bodacious.
He might even crossover and vote GOP this election.
Sarah: Big 'n Stacked.
Posted by CJo at 11:30 AM | Comments (3)August 28, 2008
It amuses the fuck out of me how Stantis has so quickly started to fall into line -- into lock-step, as it were, like the bunch of marching, jack-booted Nazis they are -- with the frothing-mouthed Talk Radio crowd.
If you look back over the last year or so, you'll see things like Carmen admitting she likes Obama. You'll see Stantis hammering away at McCain. But somewhere along the way, the Frothing Class hit the panic button and blew their dog whistle and Stantis dutifully started humping away at their legs, hoping to become relevant again.
These attacks are tired. The people who endlessly parrot them into the vacuum of inanity are tired.
Let's turn the page, etc. Yes we can, etc.
Posted by CJo at 10:37 AM | Comments (3)August 27, 2008
Mile High Shitty
Instead of taking time out of my lovely day to wonder aloud how workers uniting=communism=bad while businesses uniting=capitalism=good, I'll instead look on the bright side of things and wish the windbag Jay Mariotti a happy adieu and hope that maybe Scooter catches this news and sits back, reflects, and moves on.*
*Because despite what my overlord CJo says, when Obama loses the election I sure ain't carryin on here. Are you with me, Furnace?!
Posted by Sacki at 10:24 AM | Comments (1)August 26, 2008
Scott Stantis Sez, "All Democrats Are Communists!"
Ya see, because Nancy Pelosi is a COMMUNIST!!! Heck, ALL Democrats are COMMUNISTS!!! Hardy har har!
Hey, I've got an idea for Scott Stantis that he can work on now so it'll be ready in time. Why not send Winslow to...oh, I dunno...a Neo-Nazi/Ku Klux Klan meeting! There he can be brainwashed, have his head shaved, and get a cute little swastika armband to wear! Then when he shows up in Minnesota, he can be grabbed by Joe Lieberman (savor the irony!) so he can speak at the Republican National Convention! You see, because they're all fascist Nazis! Wouldn't that be hysterical?
Um, no. It wouldn't be funny. Dare I say it would be just as unfunny as Scott Stantis passing off his piece of shit comic strip as "political commentary." It's not enough to make fun of Nancy Pelosi's appearance - now he's going to call her and every other Democrat a Communist? Seriously? That's how pathetic conservatives have gotten? What's next, John McCain's going to defend his not knowing how many he houses he owns by going on Jay Leno and saying it's because he's a P.O.W.?
Oh, wait...
Back to the comic: Prickly City is a monumental disaster at this point. Stantis doesn't even try to draw anymore. Look at Vaughn in that last panel. His left eye is on the side of his head, he's leaning like he can't wait to get out of the comic strip, and I doubt anyone who's never read PC before today would realize that's supposed to be an armadillo.
Stantis also isn't trying to make sense anymore. Isn't Winslow a Communist too? If he's a Democrat who ran for president and is attending the DNC, why would he be upset that his new Communist friend (because anybody who doesn't agree with Bush, McCain, and Stantis is a Communist) was "abducted" by his best bud Nancy Pelosi? Shouldn't Winslow be the one giving a thumbs up at the end there? Like I said, it doesn't make any sense.
I guess I should be encouraged by this garbage. Scott Stantis is the best the conservatives can do when it comes to a political comic strip? And the best he can do is call everybody who doesn't support Bush and McCain a Communist? It's too bad our voting system is rigged, or Obama would have a cakewalk to the White House. Instead, we can look forward to hearing about how Obama isn't like us (if you hadn't noticed, he's black) and blah blah blah. Then McCain will somehow sneak out a victory and all of the pundits in the media will act like it's no big deal that the Republicans once again stole the presidency. Gonna be a long four years.
August 25, 2008
It Keeps Getting Worse and Worse
What. The. Fuck. Is. THAT?
(And no, I'm not talking about Vaughn in Panel Two who is drawn to look like My Pretty Pony.)
Does Scott think PC readers are so dumb that they need a "Last week on 'Prickly City'..." teaser? Or did Scott write this piece of shit strip for his own benefit to keep track of his own preposterous garbage?
Regardless, I once again ask: What. The. Fuck. Is. THAT?
Posted by CJo at 09:18 AM | Comments (0)August 24, 2008
Out Of Order, And Out Of Patience
Does Scott Stantis have someone else writing Prickly City every other day?
Thursday - only 3 days ago - Winslow and Vaughn take Carmen through the Beijing airport. She's stuffed in his suitcase, screaming about how they're "capitalist lackies(sic)."
Today - Winslow (no Vaughn in site), now wearing a hat (but not the same kind of hat he and Vaughn wore to break Carmen out of prison), takes Carmen through security at the airport. Carmen, sounding like herself, points out that this idea is as good as Winslow's plan to have her invest in a Paris Hilton movie.
Again I ask: is Scott Stantis the only person writing this strip? And why aren't his editors pointing out that his storylines make zero sense and change from day to day?
This is bottom of the barrel, my friends. Yesterday, Winslow and Vaughn - with Carmen stuffed up in the overhead compartment - were about to land in Denver for the DNC. Today, Winslow by himself is taking Carmen into the airport in Beijing. Yeah, I know it's a Sunday one-off, but did Stantis not plan ahead? If he's going to have a storyline that lasts for several weeks, didn't he think it might be a good idea to plot some of this out ahead of time so he could avoid nonsense like this?
Can anyone name a comic strip currently being published that gets away with this crap?
A while back I joked that Stantis was intentionally doing a bad job so he could get fired since he was tired of doing Prickly City. Now it's clear: he just sucks, and he's GETTING WORSE.
Oh, and how could I have missed the one year anniversary of the podcast? Why even have a link up to something that hasn't been relevant in over 13 months? For the same reason Stantis has a comic strip: he's a conservative, and you can't fire him without firing a liberal, so just let him do whatever since it's easier to deal with people complaining that he sucks than dealing with the right-wing wackos that will go on the attack if you dare get rid of a conservative comic strip.
Welcome to John McCain's America. People with talent, intelligence, and a good sense of humor need not apply if you're not a Republican.
August 23, 2008
The Democratic National...Communists!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!
Scott Stantis sez, "Democrats = Communists!" Now everybody laugh!
Stantis' struggles with logic continue today. Keep in mind, he's the one that has told us time and time again that Winslow is a liberal Democrat, and today he makes sure we understand that in his mind Democrats and Communists are pretty much the same thing.
Which is why it didn't make any sense when newly-Commie Carmen didn't want anything to do with Winslow when he rescued her from the Chinese prison (make sure to check out yesterday's comments for a great summary by John of the last few weeks). Wouldn't she have embraced her worker brother? Why fight him when they (according to Stantis) have so much in common? Heck, according to Stantis all Winslow had to do was tell Carmen he was taking her to the DNC and she would have been happy to join him. Ya know, since anybody who doesn't agree with the Republicans is a godless Commie liberal.
I'm not really sure how to feel about all of this. A guy who can't keep his own characters straight, can't tell a coherent story, and can't draw is insulting me and everyone who isn't a McCainiac by saying we're Communists. I guess if someone I respected called me a name like that I'd be offended, but this is Stantis we're talking about. What's there to respect? He's like a child, rambling on with his story that goes nowhere, and when you roll your eyes at how ridiculous it all sounds he calls you a name and stomps off.
No wonder he loves John McCain so much.
In a way I feel sorry for conservatives like Stantis. This is all they have. They can't argue things on the facts. Instead, we're all Communists who hate America and want to kill babies and want to force every woman to have an abortion while we raise their taxes and go on welfare. It's all a bunch of grade school name-calling. But the depressing part is THEY REALLY BELIEVE THIS. Stantis and his followers (boy, imagine a convention hall filled with THOSE people) really do think that people who want to vote for Obama are Communists. John McCain, Mr. "I Don't Know How Many Houses My Wife Owns," does think that Obama hates America. Yet he's going to be our next President, all because of a pliant media and loudmouths like Stantis convincing people that if you don't love George W. Bush and his policies, you hate America.
And Joe Biden is going to counteract all of that? I don't think so.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:33 AM | Comments (2)August 22, 2008
Oh, sorry for the delay in posting. I've spent all day looking at my phone waiting for a certain, special text message.
The only one I got was from Sacki, who wrote: "were the hellz the post jagof."
Well, dude, here the hellz it is:
In addition to not being able to draw a girl, a coyote, an armadillo, the desert, a cactus, the moon, and assorted politicians and celebrities, Scott Stantis can also not draw an airplane. However, I'm willing to add clouds to the list of things he CAN draw. That list, by the way, includes Blimps and, now, Clouds.
Huzzah.
Posted by CJo at 03:11 PM | Comments (3)August 21, 2008
I Am So Smrt
Hey, Scott "Bumblefuck" Stantis:
L-A-C-K-E-Y.
Plural: L-A-C-K-E-Y-S.
I suppose you scribbled down 'lackies,' muttered, "Pert Near," laughed like Gomer-fucking-Pyle, dusted off your hands, and sent this to your editor, who -- god bless his or her poor soul -- doesn't even bother to read and/or correct the tripe you pull from your stomach.
Just go away, dude. Just go away.
Posted by CJo at 11:03 AM | Comments (3)August 20, 2008
Party Like It's 4705
Lotta comments over there on the Prickly City page. And yes, I reckon I do consider 4 comments a lot, because who knew that many people would (a) actively seek it out, (b) register to comment and (c) care enough to actually take time to yell into the chasm. (Like we do and have been for nearly every single day for the past 4 years for little baby Regis' sake.) Anyhow, yeah, that is what's going on, Marvin.
Also: Pup-tos Intolerant enters the lexicon. Parents, teachers, administrators - you've been warned. First they came for the peanuts, and you said nothing....
Finally, to answer El Furnacio ("why would a Muslim like Obama be a Marxist Commie?"): I dunno. Ask Muslim Obama.
Posted by Sacki at 10:50 AM | Comments (5)August 19, 2008
The Mandarin Candidate
TODAY'S REPUBLICAN TALKING POINT
Ahhhh, there's the Scott Stantis we know and loathe. Obama and his policy advisers are all brainwashed socialists, dontcha know.
Apparently Stantis wasn't paying close enough attention: the GOP talking point is that Obama is a Marxist, not a Socialist. Don't go confusing the Republican sheep, Stantis - they have a hard enough time telling the difference between the McCain of 2000 and the McCain of 2008, they don't need you throwing out yet another false label about Obama.
What's even more confusing is that Stantis seems to be saying that Obama's "policy folks" are calling for us to nationalize oil production. Um, when did that happen? Listening to the Freepers again, Stantis? Last I heard, Obama was willing to compromise on offshore drilling, which doesn't exactly sound like something a Socialist would do (and it shouldn't be something a Democrat would do, but whatever - he's a politician, he
panders).
It's nice to have the political Stantis back. I've missed hearing the Republican talking points as filtered through Fox News and right wing bloggers. Saying that Obama and his followers would be right at home in Communist China since they've all been brainwashed into socialists is a whole lot more entertaining than Winslow trying to swim. I'm curious though - why would a Muslim like Obama be a Marxist Commie? Maybe Sacki can explain that one.
Posted by The Furnace at 10:00 AM | Comments (1)
August 18, 2008
Ampersand Percent Sign Number Sign At Sign
Our resident soothsayer, The Furnace, called this gag pre-publication. He's the poster with the moster, as we say around Shrubville HQ.
However, Carmen being Mao or, at least, one of his Cultural Revolutionaries doesn't begin to explain why she is holding a stack of Oreo cookies. Are the workers supposed to unite so they all can partake in the sweet sweet creamy middle?
And, alas, another great mystery is that of the black wool caps. Is this toy factory near a shipping dock?
Regardless of whether or not we get the real answers to these unsolved mysteries, I look forward to a time when we all can say, "Thank &%#@ing God this &%#@ing thing is &%#@ing over."
Posted by CJo at 02:23 PM | Comments (2)August 17, 2008
Splish Splash Show
For two weeks Scott Stantis has been churning out an Olympic storyline where Winslow was heading off to China to compete. Along the way, Carmen is sent to prison for her outspoken political beliefs (because we all know how she opposes things like spying on your citizens, throwing people in secret prisons, and torture). Oh, and an armadillo came with too.
So why, if Stantis knew he was writing this storyline, did he turn in a Sunday strip featuring Carmen at Winslow's Olympic event - after Carmen has supposedly been detained and Winslow was informed by Vaughan that his event doesn't exist?
I understand that Sundays are usually one-offs that don't have anything to do with the regular storylines. But that's not the case here. Stantis goes with an Olympic theme, and basically gives us a strip based on what he wrote weeks ago. How many people still remember what Winslow's event is supposed to be? Remember that one-off where Winslow was going to be in a track and field event with the Olympic mascot? So if you saw that one, but not the one where Winslow tells us he's in a swimming event, would today's strip make a lick of sense?
Today's gag isn't necessarily bad, it just doesn't make any sense in the grand scheme of things. Don't throw a character into prison just to turn around and have her standing around like nothing's happened. There are some of us (as ordered by CJo) who read this crap every day, and we'd like a little basic logic in the comic strip. Not this garbage.
(By the way: nice coloring job, whoever handled that. Last I checked the middle Olympic ring was black, not forest green, and I don't think hot pink has ever been one of the colors.)
Has anyone thought of what Carmen might have been transformed into? That's the big cliffhanger we were left with yesterday. I'm guessing she'll be transformed into Chairman Mao:
Separated at birth?
Hey look, they've got the same haircut!
August 16, 2008
When You Wish Upon A Stantis
As the saying goes, be careful what you wish for.
I wished that Stantis would introduce a new character. We got...Vaughan.
I wished that Stantis would spend more than a day or two on a storyline. We got...Carmen in a Chinese prison.
I wished that Stantis would draw more than the same desert backdrop every day. We got...whatever that building is in the first panel of today's strip.
How can someone who's a paid professional create some this awful?
Apparently the wool caps Winslow found have allowed him and Vaughan to sneak into a Toy Factory (yeah, nothing racist about that sign), where they find what they think is Carmen. That's right - simply wearing black hats has given them the ability to track down Carmen and then somehow sneak past the guards - at a toy factory/re-education camp (which I guess is a prison - but how did they get...oh nevermind).
Tomorrow is supposed to be the big reveal of what's happened to our beloved neo-con tot Carmen - or maybe Monday. I don't want to get into a whole "thing" again with that one guy from Wikipedia. But no matter what Carmen is supposed to be now, I can guarantee you that it won't be funny.
Will she be a Communist? Will she a geisha? Oh, wait, that's Japanese culture. A sumo? Oops, Japanese again. What could she be re-educated into in China? Did she learn Chinese martial arts? Maybe she's a dragon. Who knows, who cares.
This is really depressing. It was one thing when we could use Shrubville as a way to vent our frustrations with the world of conservative politics. Taking Stantis to task for things like lying about what Howard Dean said or pointing out how wrong he was about the Abramoff case used to be somewhat entertaining. But now?
Now we get Vaughan. The armadillo. Who interviewed to be Winslow's campaign manager by telling him he was doomed, and suddenly became a regular character. This is supposed to be funny how again?
Stantis, you really do suck. Just quit, please.
Posted by The Furnace at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)August 15, 2008
I Look Forward to Reposting This Strip on our Last Day: January 20, 2009
August 14, 2008
I Wish the USA Could Be More Like China
August 13, 2008
Hump Day
Oh, yes. Going to find Carmine today, they are. They being Winston and Von. Von, who will be gone next week, while Carmine will be back. They can never be seen in the same place at the same time, Carmine and Von. Coincidence? Or will Scantis have Von be mysteriously turned into boner powder by those inscrutible Chinee?
Posted by Sacki at 10:50 AM | Comments (5)August 12, 2008
So What Was Carmen Looking At On July 31st?
This is the flag of Tibet:
This is a thong:
Tell me, do you see a thong anywhere in the flag of Tibet? I sure don't.
In other words, Carmen is a moron.
But we shouldn't blame her. We should blame her creator, who has absolutely no idea what he's doing. Stantis thought it would be funny if he sent Winslow to the Olympics, but to do that he had to make Prickly City its own republic (which still makes no sense). And every country needs its own flag, so of course his had to have a thong on it because he's a perv. Then Winslow went to China to compete in the oh-so-hysterical single person synchronized swimming event - and magically Carmen appeared to carry the flag for him. But since she's a clueless fool, she decided to carry the Tibetan flag because Winslow told her to - even though he had already shown her the Prickly City flag, and she was the one to point out that it had a thong on it. Now she's a political prisoner, and Vaughan (a character who seems to be a new fixture, despite having no personality or reason for being whatsoever) is magically in China too to point out that despite what we saw a few weeks ago, Prickly City DOESN'T HAVE A FLAG.
Get all that?
Scott Stantis THINKS THIS IS FUNNY.
Stew on that for a while. If there was an Olympic event for sucking, Scott Stantis wouldn't just win the gold, they would stop holding the event since nobody will ever suck as badly as Stantis does.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:33 AM | Comments (3)August 11, 2008
I Love to Laugh [Ha Ha Ha] Long and Loud and Clear
I think Stantis is on to something here.
Every strip that ends with Carmen's face peering out of the barred window of the Chinese prison is a fucking riot.
I laughed myself silly on Saturday. And I'm laughing hard (still) today.
Congratulations, Scott Stantis. You've made me laugh.
In fact, if anyone wants to take a crack at dummying up some old strips so they end with Carmen sitting in jail, please send them my way. I'll work up a couple, too.
Posted by CJo at 03:17 PM | Comments (0)August 10, 2008
Ol' Limp Dick's At It Again
Ah yes, the smell of hypocrisy in the morning. Smells like a big ol' heapin' helpin' of some of Scott Stantis' old fashioned hypocritical vittles.
Winslow is in China, where he asks the Olympic mascot which event he's competing in - which is going to be tough since the mascot has a ball and chain wrapped around his ankle. You see, because the Chinese have a horrible human rights record. Subtlety, thy name isn't Stantis.
Normally I wouldn't have a problem with a strip like this (other than to point out that Winslow seems to be prepping for a running event even though he's in China as a swimmer). But seeing as how it's being done the same week as the verdict was handed down in the Hamdan case, it's hard for me to cheer on Stantis as he takes on China's human rights record when he's a huge fan of George Bush's abuse of our own political prisoners.
You heard about the Hamdan case, right? The one where our government decided even before a verdict was reached that they were going to detain bin Laden's former driver "indefinitely" even if he was acquitted? Think Stantis will criticize our government for that little human rights abuse two weeks from now? I'm not holding my breath.
I'm not saying what happens here in the States is anywhere near as bad as what's happening in China, but I get sick and tired of Republicans like Stantis bashing other countries when they illegally spy on their citizens or imprison people without charges for as long as they like - while their President does the same kinds of things here in the United States. That's why hypocrisy, thy name IS Scott Stantis.
But I'm sure in two weeks we can look forward to plenty of "comics" about John Edwards having an affair. Because that's REAL news that Scott Stantis can sink his teeth into.
August 09, 2008
Bold Political Commentary From Scott Stantis (about China)
Poor Carmen. She went from being an afterthought in this Olympic storyline to carrying Prickly City's thong flag and dressing like a clown (well at least I think it was supposed to be a clown - I'm still not really sure what she was supposed to be yesterday). And now she's a political prisoner. How could this have happened?
I think I know. Carmen was probably following the lead of her idol Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS), who went on CNN a week or so ago to complain that China could be spying on people inside the country:
BROWNBACK: This is the public security bureau in China requiring the installation of hardware that they can listen to anybody and everybody’s and their communications and their recordings that are sent over the internet in a real-time purpose or over long-term. That’s spying, John. […] Your internet communications can all be monitored in a real time basis by the public security bureau of the Chinese government. I think they’re clearly intent upon spying. they’re going to be spying.
Yes, how dare those Chinese illegally spy on people inside their country without warrants! Don't they have a Congress like we do that will retroactively grant them immunity for breaking the law?? Barbarians.
Pretty odd that Stantis would reference Tiananmen Square. Weren't those pretty much where people protested in favor of democracy and against authoritarianism? Sure doesn't sound like the Carmen we know - she's all in favor of an imperial president who can spy on anybody and lie us into war.
What's that? The president forged documents tying Saddam to 9/11? Um, John Edwards had an affair! That's REAL news! Don't worry about that fake letter attempting to justify an invasion of a country that wasn't a threat - John Edwards had sex with a woman he wasn't married to! AND he may have fathered her child! That's the kind of news Americans want to hear!!!
Ahem. Quick question: what if it was Mike Huckabee instead of John Edwards? Would any of this be news? I'm thinking not so much.
Anyway, back to Prickly City. So Carmen is a political prisoner because she - oh who cares. None of this storyline makes any sense, and it's all just slapped together at the last minute. Kind of like cable news. Who cares if it makes any sense - run with it and see if it sticks. Blah.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:06 AM | Comments (1)
August 08, 2008
Special Laffalympics
Not only has this recession hit the common folk hard, it's also afflicted our very own dear CJo, who can't afford to post here more than twice a month.
It's rather fortunate for him, however, since we're subjected to yet another Prickly City official thong-flag reference and Carmen's multiple-punctuated exclamations. But seriously, folks.Prickly City's wikipedia entry notes that it exists in the genre of humor; so what's so funny about 'thongs'?
You know what I think would work much better: merkins. Now that's a funny/vaguely dirty sounding word. What's more, according to the American Heritage Dictionary, merkin derives from an "[a]lteration of obsolete malkin, lower-class woman, mop, from Middle English..." so there's the added fun of picking on the immigrant-bashing daughter of illegal aliens, Michelle Maglalang.
Posted by Sacki at 02:17 PM | Comments (0)August 07, 2008
A Javelin to the Brain
It's the Opening Ceremonies in Beijing and Carmen, who has inexplicably taken the trip with Winslow, who was apparently let-go from the Chinese Torture Prison in time for the festivities, refuses to carry the People's Republic of Prickly City's Thong Flag.
Got it?
Good. Now that we're all on the same page, let's all gouge our brains out in unison.
Posted by CJo at 12:19 PM | Comments (4)August 06, 2008
Won Tons? or Lost 2,000 Pounds?
Cripes.
I thought it was going to be a simple ongoing storyline about the Olympics, but it turns out that we're actually in for a series featuring Prickly City's take on extraordinary rendition, America's ties to illegal torture, and why Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld et al. should be tried as war criminals.
Is Stantis on vacation, and couldn't line up any replacements? Who's responsible for this, Dick Durbin?
Posted by Sacki at 10:33 AM | Comments (2)August 05, 2008
You Know What Else Stinks?
Wonderful. Stantis is going to spend weeks on Winston going to the Olympics. For a "republic" that is somehow located inside the United States. In an event that doesn't exist. It's gonna be a loooong August.
Apparently Winslow wears lifts in his shoes. Shoes that we've never seen him wear. And his feet stink inside these invisible shoes. Okay, it's gonna be a reallllllllly looooooooong August.
Where is Stantis going with this? Does he really think any of this is grounds for comedy? Can we expect to see his idea of what Chinese people look like? Is he going to draw a panda as being the only other guy competing in this event? And why isn't Carmen going with as his coach (she shoe-horns herself into everything else Winslow does, why not this)?
I know the Olympics are a big deal for some people, but does anybody really care what Scott Stantis has to say about them? I'm all for making fun of him trying to do political commentary, but there isn't much to say about his views on the Olympics. So far he thinks synchronized swimming and stinky feet are hi-larious. I'd actually prefer Hillary bashing over this crap.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:45 AM | Comments (0)August 04, 2008
Joe Conrad Knows What's What
I cried in a whisper at some image, at some vision of another week of Prickly City and the Olympics -- I cried out twice, a cry that was no more than a breath --
"The horror! The horror!"
August 03, 2008
That Should Read "Nothing FUNNY Ever Happens Around Here"
Olympian and Presidential candidate Winslow complains that nothing ever happens in Prickly City. Yeah, it's a lame one-off where Stantis gets to draw what he thinks is cool: slugs fighting aliens.
And thus ends (we hope) the worst week ever in P.C. Thongs, slugs, synchronized swimming - all things that Stantis thinks are hysterical, but I doubt any normal person (even Republicans) would laugh at this crap.
Maybe these next few weeks will be better. Two weeks ago McCain had his worst week ever (how quickly we forget Phil Gramm calling us people who aren't filthy rich "whiners"), then followed it up with a week of racist attack ads against Obama (come on, we all know that the message of that Britney/Paris ad is "this 'boy' wants to rape your white women"). Stantis loves to recite Republican talking points, so I'm sure he'll have an easy time of accusing Obama of being "presumptuous" (read: uppity) and comparing him to Hitler. But it won't be easy for Stantis - he supposedly hates McCain, so will he attack Obama like the good little lap dog he's been for Bush? Or will Stantis instead move away from politics completely and keep giving us lame Olympic jokes?
Either way it's clear to see: Stantis doesn't want to do this anymore. So why doesn't he just quit and let somebody else have a shot at making a conservative comic strip?
August 02, 2008
Fizzle
It just gets worse.
One of the worst weeks ever in Prickly City history still isn't over. In fact, I'm starting to think that it's always going to be like this, which might mean closing the doors to Shrubville before the election. Seriously, it's become a chore to even read P.C., much less comment on it.
Just some random thoughts on today's crapfest:
- Carmen's body would literally fit inside her head, with room to spare.
- How long ago was the Mentos/Diet Coke thing popular? A year? Maybe more? We all know Stantis is behind the times, but this is pretty pathetic. Tomorrow he'll crack wise about pet rocks and those new-fangled hula hoops.
- Winslow isn't even wearing a thong.
I didn't think the whole "desert shark" storyline could be surpassed as worst week ever, but Stantis did it.
Instead, why don't you check out this "hi-larious" video of John McCain, less than a month after 9/11, telling David Letterman that Iraq was behind the anthrax attacks. McCain is as qualified to be president as Stantis is qualified to be a professional comic strip artist.
(Insert "John McCain probably wears thongs" joke here.)
Posted by The Furnace at 08:57 AM | Comments (0)August 01, 2008
Kaboom
This is what it sounds like when doves die.
The worst strip in the world in the midst of one of its worst weeks in its horrible history ends in a fiery slam-bang explosion of monumental suck.
Vaughn -- the new character, Winslow's campaign finance chair, introduced by Stantis and hired by Winslow a mere few days before Winslow drops out of his two-year-old campaign -- heckles Winslow, the individual synchronized swimming representative from the Republic of Prickly City -- which became an independent republic after the 'Bush Sr. Broccoli Brouhaha' and the residents of PC failing to "Google" something...in other words, after George H. W. Bush declared "I do not like broccoli and I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli," in 1990, the residents of Prickly City failed to TRAVEL AHEAD IN TIME to circa 1997 to search something on Google -- at the Beijing Summer Olympics, where Winslow is hopeful he will win a medal so the world can watch the Prickly City flag (a motherfucking THONG) fly.
And after all this wild diversion into sheer lunacy and shear [sic] madness, Vaughn and Winslow wrap the heckling back to the fact it's an election year?
Guh?
Muh?
Snuh?
HUH?
Posted by CJo at 11:09 AM | Comments (1)
picture courtesy of JB