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July 08, 2008
Worst Campaign Manager Ever
This morning I was greeted by this email in my inbox from CJo:
"That does it. I'm out. Today's Prickly City is so bad, so incredibly stupid, that I can't deal with it anymore. I'm leaving the country - maybe visit Europe, where they don't have to put up with this shit in their newspapers. Yours truly, CJo."
All I can say is: CJo, please, take me with you!
This edition of P.C. really is THAT bad. How in the world does this exchange make it into the comics section:
Winslow: Then we'll have to create the position.
Carmen: How can you create something that never existed?
I am actually dumber for having read that more than once, and I probably lost a few IQ points re-writing it here. "How can you create something that never existed?" WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??? Shrubville never existed before Prickly City - it was created as a reaction to the worst comic strip ever. But in Carmen/Stantis' mind, that's an impossibility. Shrubville could never have been created because it never existed. WTF? No, change that: WHAT THE FUCK???
By the way, as Winslow's campaign manager shouldn't she have hired a finance director months ago? Oh, wait, it didn't exist so she couldn't. The stupid, it burns!
Oh and it gets better: the punchline is a rip on Tony Danza! You know, the guy that was in over a hundred episodes of "Taxi" and in almost two hundred episodes of "Who's The Boss?" - that Tony Danza. Of course that was twenty years ago, so to Stantis that's a hip reference that will have his readers rolling on the kitchen floor.
But the writing isn't the worst of it. Check out Carmen in panel 3. Um, isn't that how Stantis usually draws the moon? Better yet is panel 4, where Carmen is suddenly drawn to look like a cross between Barry Bonds and Popeye. Poor little moonhead girl.
Maybe instead of Tony Danza Stantis should have gone with Karl Rove. His position didn't exist until Rove entered the White House, and look at how much damage he's done to the country. At least Tony Danza makes us laugh. Unlike Rove, or Scott Stantis.
Comments
Oh, lordy. Years ago, I used to complain to my friends about the horrible Bob "I grew up in a quant town of poor folks called Bexley, and gosh, I hoped the Delta Gammas would look at me!" Greene. One of y friends challenged me to re-write Greene's column every day, and I did. It was a fabulous writing exercise, and I never had to seduce young women in order to do it.
Which brings us to the horrible Stantis. I think that we should do a parallel version of Prickly City. Like today, maybe instead of Winslow learning that he never had a finance manager, he could discover that his finance managers were those conservative economic geniuses Phil and Wendy Gramm! He's destroying UBS, she was on the board of Enron! That could make for a wicked commentary.
Of course, it would mean ripping on Scottie's precious conservatives, who can never, ever do wrong.
Posted by: Annie at July 8, 2008 12:00 PM
Oh, and Bexley, for those who don't know, is the richest suburb of Columbus. Greene liked to pretend that it was a small town of hard working middle class folks, which would be akin to saying the same about Greenwich or Lake Forest or Woodside. I don't miss him, one bit. Nor was I surprised by his downfall.
But I digress.
Posted by: Annie at July 8, 2008 12:03 PM
Q: How can you create something that never existed?
A: By definition. That's what it means to create. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, create means "To cause to exist; bring into being."
What a dumbass.
PS - Annie - I once had an anti-Bob-Greene-column letter printed in the Chicago Tribune.
Posted by: John at July 9, 2008 12:07 AM
