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June 30, 2008
Ruff Stuff
Today's Setup: Left-wing bloggers are making fun of Winslow's VP's dog. But...wait! Carmen has a dog?!?!
Tomorrow's Payoff: [Zilch]
The Rest of the Week: Repeat Tomorrow's Payoff
Posted by CJo at 05:11 PM | Comments (0)June 29, 2008
Why Can't Stantis Take a Vow of Silence?
What a mess.
There's an interesting idea buried somewhere in Scott Stantis' terrible writing in today's Prickly City. Winslow takes a vow of silence, and the media turns it around on him. But man oh man, does Stantis suck as a writer - and today is just further proof. Let's take it panel by panel:
Panel 1: Winslow says he's taking a vow of silence. The "Shh" on his podium is a nice touch.
Panel 2: A reporter (I guess) asks Winslow what he has against people who can't speak. Um, what? How does that make any sense? Winslow is saying that he's not going to speak - so in what language does that mean he doesn't like people who don't speak? What if Winslow said that in a show of solidarity with the Hispanic community, he was only going to speak in Spanish from now on? Would a reporter yell out "what do you have against Spanish-speaking people?" Of course not, because THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
Panel 3: It just gets worse. Somehow, religion is brought into the picture. And that Winslow eats meat. I kind of get what Stantis is going for - that the media takes thing out of context and twists them around (and he knows that first-hand, since Stantis does it regularly). But the leaps he's taking in this strip just aren't logical.
The rest is just a big car crash. Eventually Winslow is on the front page in one of the most poorly worded punchline/headlines I've seen in the comics. And it's made worse because it puts what Winslow said in quotes. Ugh.
Once again Stantis serves up a first draft that needed a few more rewrites. He came up with an idea then slapped together the first thing that came to mind and we're stuck with the half-assed attempt at lame political comedy. Just another Sunday in Prickly City.
June 28, 2008
You Say Potato, I Say F*** You, Stantis
So yesterday Scott Stantis joked about John McCain's cancer (which might have been a result of his years as a P.O.W.), and today he thinks it's funny to make light of the war in Iraq. Maybe tomorrow he'll crack wise about the flooding in the Mid-west ("wet enough for ya?").
Sorry, but I have a hard time laughing at jokes that play off of the occupation in Iraq. Maybe it's easy for Stantis since the media has kept mum on what's really going on over there, so the forgotten wars (hey, remember Afghanistan?) are now fodder for his punchlines. At a time when oil prices are soaring, $4 a gallon for gas is considered a deal, and the big oil companies were just handed the reigns to Iraq's oil supply, do we really need a guy who writes a crappy comic strip joking about how it's just like having our soldiers protect the spuds in Idaho?
By the way, who are the two characters in that last panel? Or did Carmen and Winslow both lose half their body weight while running (yet again) through the desert?
Posted by The Furnace at 10:08 AM | Comments (2)June 27, 2008
God Said, 'Huh?'
Man oh man. [Knee slap.] Such hilarity, cancer! Stantis's cancer jokes are groin-grabbingly funny, even if you're not Lance Armstrong! I haven't laughed this hard at a cancer joke since I guffawed a big fat "Ha!" whilst sitting through a Julia Sweeney monologue.
But after the fun and joy of making fun of one's appearance because of cancer comes the weird part of today's strip:
Winslow, after gettin' a paddlin', remarking, "I bet he never did this to Joe Lieberman."
What a stupid remark. Why would McCain beat up Joe Lieberman? In fact, McCain has been beating OFF Joe Liberman in their long, old-fashioned courtship. Only dry-humping and jerking each other off for now. They're waiting to get engaged before they begin fellating each other. And only when they're married will Joe finally lay face down on the bed and let McCain veep him up the ass.
Anyway: TGIF, folks. Thank God I don't have a disfigured Face because of cancer.
Am I right, folks?!
Posted by CJo at 11:02 AM | Comments (4)June 26, 2008
Just Words
Lest one think "For crying in a bucket" is another obscure Stantis colloquialism that has exactly one Google hit like, "hammer sand up your ass!", let me be the first to announce that this phrase has exactly 296 hits.
So a big congrats to Scott Stantis for improving his marks on the Wechsler Idiom Intelligence Scale from Profound Mental Retardation to Mild Mental Retardation.
In closing: Uh...um...the point I'm...uh...and...trying to say here...is that...uh...Scott Stantis is a dumb jagoff.
Posted by CJo at 08:11 AM | Comments (2)June 25, 2008
Klaatu Barack Nikto
As The Furnace wrote on the 11th day, of the 11th month, at the...8 & 3/4 hour..."The more things change, the more they stay the same."
THAT'S change we can believe in!
Anyhow, Stantish, if you bothered to check out the Hawaiian's "Queer the Smear" website, you'd see that "Obama Has Remained Consistent in Opposing a Blank Check for Iraq," according to himself.
So my question then, are you the candidate of change, or the candidate of consistency, Barry? Which is it? Table-flippin' flopper.
Posted by Sacki at 10:01 AM | Comments (1)June 24, 2008
Morganville Townhall Meeting
Stantis finally gets around to a "John McCain is a grumpy old man" joke. Gee, that would have been fresh about four months ago. I guess it's better than not-so-subtle attempts at trying to call Obama an uppity Negro without being too obvious about it, like most Republicans.
McCain does remind me of one grandpa...
June 23, 2008
Fez Cameo
You know you're struggling for ideas when Wilmer Valderrama makes a cameo appearance. And, yes, I'm talking about Shrubville, not 'Prickly City.' Fez may make a 'Prickly City' cameo today, but it's strictly of the Akbar & Jeff variety and not of the Lindsay-Lohan-bedding variety.
The fez, of course, is part of Winslow's Travelin' Outfit, which includes a Travelin' Case with the requisite amount of Travelin' Stickers. For our sake, I hope the Town Hall Meeting is not in Iowa, lest we be subject to a week's worth of, "Are we there yet?" "No, you're still in Prickly City" nonsense.
Alas, Iowa jokes wouldn't fly in today's climate (pun intended). Of course, Stantis didn't hesitate to joke about residents of New Orleans circa Katrina.
Posted by CJo at 09:05 AM | Comments (3)June 22, 2008
Calvin Shrugged
First, I apologize for not posting yesterday (thanks to Sacki for noticing). If I had posted, this would have probably been the extent of it:
"You see, cuz Ellen's gay! Ha ha!"
As for TODAY'S STRIP...
Do you think Bill Watterson gets a check every time someone like Stantis blatantly rips off "Calvin and Hobbes?"
Go outside and enjoy the weekend. It's too nice out to read unoriginal crap like Prickly City.
June 21, 2008
Pagan Liberal Elite Solstice Holiday
Shrubville is taking the day off. (And then it's 212 straight days to the grand finale.)
June 20, 2008
Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Embiggened Candidate and/or the Case of the Fucked-Up Grammar
Leroy Brown gets a workout as he's trotted out for the second day in a row. And this time there's twice the mystery.
Mystery One: How did Obama grow so tall overnight? As you may recall, yesterday Winslow's ear tips reached Obama's waist. Today, Winslow's ears *barely* reach Obama's knee. Or, wait, did Winslow shrink?? Either way: Mystery.
Mystery Two: What the fuck does "You're Outs" mean?? Did Stantis mean to write for Winslow "your outs," as in "We are engaged in playing the basketball game known as 'one-on-one.' I will now employ the phrase 'your outs' to indicate that you have the ball." Or was Stantis trying to, in fact, say, "You are outs" -- some new black/terrorist slang like, "you is outz, dawg," [fist bump].
I suppose there is a third mystery afoot:
Mystery Three: How on earth does this sloppiness get past editors? Do the editors care even less than Stantis?
Posted by CJo at 09:45 AM | Comments (2)June 19, 2008
закон кармы
I think our commenter the other day (long-time listener, first-time caller, Wreckage) had it right when she or he said:
оптовая и розничная торговля : диетические, вегетарианские и экзотические продукты (комбу, ламинария, соевое мясо, черная соль, спаржа, тофу, кэроб, басмати, кокосовая стружка), масла( кунжутное,оливковое, миндальное, гхи), специи ( асафетида,шамбала, гарам масала, кардамон, шафран), аюрведические препараты.
Indeed...Indeed.
Otherwise, today's cutesy-poo strip wins points for being cutesy but then is deducted points for being poo.
And then there's the Case of the Disappearing Tie. Someone get me Encyclopedia Brown on the horn!
Posted by CJo at 10:01 AM | Comments (1)June 18, 2008
Will There Ever Be A Rainbow?
As long as there's a recognizable Mr. Burns catchphrase in there today, I can't be all that unsatisfied. After all, no matter how insufferable Prickly City has been, Charles Montgomery Burns knows that this, too, shall pass.
"Tough times, huh? I've lived through twelve recessions, eight panics, and five years of McKinleynomics. I'll survive this."
Amen.
Posted by Sacki at 11:24 AM | Comments (5)June 17, 2008
Board Now
Winslow insults Carmen. Carmen threatens to hit him with a board. And so goes the next day in the "nobody cares about Winslow as Obama's V.P." storyline.
I liked it better when Stantis was just spewing stupid right wing talking points and lying about what Democrats said two weeks earlier. Now it feels like it's on Stantis' list of things to do before he leaves work for the day, so he slaps together the most boring, unfunny, snooze-worthy strips and phones it in so he can cash his check. I might have gotten frustrated or ticked off at what Stantis used to write, but dammit man - at least I felt SOMETHING.
I get the sense I'm not the only one who feels that way - right CJo? It's to the point where we're all either forgetting we should post something or dread having to do so because there's just nothing really to talk about. Ho hum, Winslow wants to be Obama's veep. So what? Where's the humor there? Where's the conflict? Yeah today he slams Carmen, but that just ends with her threatening to beat Winslow up yet again, which is how she deals with every problem - violence. Now wouldn't THAT be more interesting? That Winslow has to fire her as his VP because she's got a history of making threats and losing her cool, and then she shows up at McCain's side because that's something those two loose cannons have in common?
Oh, wait, that would take more than two minutes worth of constructive thinking for Stantis to make it happen. Nevermind. Tomorrow, Winslow will instead try to fly, he'll fail, and Carmen will say something that Stantis thinks is witty. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Maybe in two weeks we'll get some "Al Gore is fat" jokes since he endorsed Obama last night. Because those are always oh-so-hysterical. At least Stantis hasn't made any "jokes" about Ted Kennedy's medical condition. Yet.
June 16, 2008
Three Things I Forgot
Three Things I Forgot Today:
1) To do a post of any substance,
2) That Winslow is still a candidate for president,
3) That 'Prickly City' existed*
* For a couple of hours at least.
June 15, 2008
Baby Daddy
On the plus side: Stantis looked ahead and actually timed a strip for Father's Day. Which is more than he did for Mother's Day.
On the negative side: the most obvious is the part in Carmen's hair in that last panel. The poor girl looks like she has a reverse mohawk. While I like the sentiment, how dorky is that last image of Winslow? Did we really need a zoom-in of his thumb's up? And of course we're now left to wonder: Carmen has a dad in her life? Or is she imagining what she'd do if her dad was still around? Kind of depressing to think that she's fantasizing about what she'd get her dad for Father's Day if he was still in her life and hadn't abandoned her.
And on that note, Happy Father's Day!
June 14, 2008
Hero-ick
Somewhere, in an unidentified state in the Southwest, there is a town known as Prickly City. Threatened by the eeevil LIBERAL AGENDA, it is defended by its heroes...
NEO-CON CARMEN!
Watch...as she talks out of both sides of her mouth at the same time!
Marvel...as she uses her powers of hypocrisy to act superior to everyone else!
Be astounded...as the part in her hair spreads wider and wider, horrifying her enemies!
And of course there's her trusty sidekick...
WINSTON!
Stare...as he talks like a conservative tool even though he claims to be a talking liberal coyote!
Witness...his incredible ability to always be the one to blame, even when conservatives are at fault!
Be astonished...by his ability to crash into the ground repeatedly because a certain someone thinks it's funny to have him try to fly over and over and over again, even though the joke hasn't been funny ever!
Separate, they are simply annoying. Together, they are...
THE UNFUNNY RE-PUBLICANS!
Under the guidance of their confused, irritable leader ST. JOHN MCCAIN, and taking their marching orders from KARL "TURD BLOSSOM" ROVE, the Unfunny Re-Publicans do everything in their power to convince Americans that everything bad is the Democrats' fault and Republicans only want to cut taxes and kill terrorists and are teh awesome. With the help of newspaper editors across the country, these defenders of THE REAGAN LEGACY will lie, cheat, and steal in the name of ABE LINCOLN (their patron saint, even though he wasn't a conservative like they claim) to keep America safe from the unwashed masses (in other words, poor people).
So sit back and hold tight, dear reader. As America's future hangs in the balance, and a new threat arises in the form of BARRY MOHAMMAD HUSSEIN OSAMA, can Neo-Con Carmen and her sidekick Winston keep America safe from the threat of true democracy and make sure Republicans continue to control the government and the media? Stay tuned!
But first, a few words from their sponsors...big oil, lobbyists, and the Religious Right. And if you change the channel, you're a terrorist who hates America!
Posted by The Furnace at 09:25 AM | Comments (1)June 13, 2008
Friday the 13th XIII -- Carmen Gets Zapped
Seems appropriate that today finds Carmen's visage resembling a decomposed Jason Voorhees who has been lying in wait underwater for twenty-two years, just waiting for the right moment to surprise the last surviving camp counselor who is floating (seemingly!) safely in her canoe.
U-G-L-Y, my friends.
Now we can only hope there's no further sequel to "Winslow Looks for His Superhero Power," which has to be one of the most pointless sequences in the history of one the most pointless strips in the history of pointless strips' histories.
Posted by CJo at 01:13 PM | Comments (0)June 12, 2008
Living in a Box by Living in a Box from the album Living in a Box
I kind of like this strip's treatment of the panels as impenetrable walls. A nice nod to the constraints of the comic strip form, which has caused this four-year-long creative drought in Scott's life that is known as "Prickly City."
In an odd coincidence, today's "Bliss" deals with comic strip panels, too:
At any rate, keep up the mildly-engaging work, Scott Stantis.
Posted by CJo at 11:58 AM | Comments (0)June 11, 2008
Short Take
It's looking like this week is all about Prickly City finally having seen the television show "Heroes" or something. I've seen a couple of episodes of that show; Mr. Sulu was on it, and there was that jerk Jess from Gilmore Girls. Anyhow, it'll be interesting, and by interesting I mean I won't actually be interested but curious, so I should just go back and insert curious for interesting, but don't feel like it at this point. Anyhow, it'll be curious to see if or how this relates to the political grand scheme of things. Could be better, could be a whole lot worse. Grade: B!
Incidentally, if there were a show which I would use as some kind of analogy for this prsdntl race, I'd go with "Webster": little black kid on the south side of Chicago losing his father (and mother) in a car crash, an adorable thorn in the side to Ma'am (HRC) and George (duh). Ultimately vapid and disposable, no real substance, but was popular for about 4-5 years. Theme song transfers seamlessly to Obamabots:
It was you,
Then came you.
You made me leap without taking a look.
It was you,
Then came you.
You reeled me right in line, sinker, and hook.
June 10, 2008
Stantis May Suck
Sunday: Winslow attempts to fly - crashes.
Monday: Stantis attempts humor by referencing the Soup Nazi - crashes.
Tuesday: Winslow attempts to fly - crashes.
Go read Glenn Greenwald instead.
Posted by The Furnace at 10:46 AM | Comments (1)June 09, 2008
Well, Isn't That Special
Shazam and Cowabunga, Dudes! Stantis nails another cultural reference.
Some may argue that a 'Soup Nazi' reference is dated. But come on; is THAT your final answer? I mean, the tribe has spoken and it's now time to make the donuts. So, STIFLE! your yada-yada-yada, people. I mean, really: Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?
Just live long and prosper, my friends. It's the name of the game. It's the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.
Posted by CJo at 01:48 PM | Comments (2)June 08, 2008
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Well this is just one big mess.
Winston tried to fly again. At least I think that's what happened. Stantis is so terrible as an artist I'm not really sure what's going on. Like is that a propeller on top of Winslow's helmet? I think that one thing is an umbrella, but what's that blue thing by his feet? Are those red things jutting out of the ground supposed to be wings, or was Winslow wearing skis?
It's too bad that Stantis just tossed out a single panel non-political strip today. This very easily could have been timely if Carmen's line had been, "I christen you the Hillary Express!"
Help us end Shrubville: Obama '08.
June 07, 2008
Feeling Bubba's Pecker
Stantis continues the Republicans' obsession with Bill Clinton's penis today. See, Winslow got a "stimulus" package, so his "package" is "stimulated" - get it? Get it? His penis is engorged with blood, just like Bill Clinton when he got a blow job from Monica! Ha ha.
It amazes me that Republicans STILL can't stop talking about the Clintons' sex life, yet they act as if lying us into war, illegally spying on us, and trashing the economy are all completely acceptable and not something we should worry about (just ask David Broder). But Clinton had oral in the Oval ten years ago? Now THAT'S relevant!
Can you imagine all the fun they're going to have with Obama? You see, he's black. Lots of naughty little jokes they can tell about him, although they'll say they're not really racist jokes. Personally my prediction is that McCain makes a "joke" where he refers to Obama as a "young buck" or a "boy" before August. Because you see, it's okay to joke about that - there's nothing more serious we should be focusing on in the world. Bill Clinton's got a penis, you see, and Obama is a negro, so there's jokes to be told! Crack to it, Stantis - let's see some more of your political comedy stylings!
June 06, 2008
Is It January 20, 2009 Yet?
I have nothing else to say.
Posted by CJo at 12:25 PM | Comments (1)June 05, 2008
Armagideon Time
A lotta people won’t get no supper tonight
A lotta people won’t get no justice tonight
Remember to kick it over
No one will guide you – Armagideon time
I am neither scientist nor shaman, but man-oh-man have I been waiting for sweet sweet Armageddon since I embarked on this Daily Critique of Prickly City. Anything to take us out of our collective misery of a daily dose of Stantis. If it took the end of the world, so be it.
But it turns out we might not need the end of the world. We just need the end of the GOP. And that is within our reach.
The day Obama takes his oath of office is our last day reading Prickly City. (Not election day, as some may have lead you to believe.)
We are the Armageddon we've been waiting for.
Posted by CJo at 04:05 PM | Comments (3)June 04, 2008
Take Your Protein Pills And Put Your Helmet On
I can hardly muster caring enough about the contents of today's Prickly City to comment on it here at Shrubville. Much like those who wish to condense the cause of the Civil War down to just slavery, instead of taking a more global view that aside from the obvious schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists, there were economic factors, both domestic and international...here we get another one-line obscure quote taken out of context to rationalize the jackass viewpoint of a...jackass.
In any case, it's...jackass, but it won't be our...jackass to deal with much longer. (My MadLibs skills are a bit rusty, it seems.)
Ground Control to Barry Mohammad.
Commencing countdown, engines on.
Check ignition and may Allah's love be with you.
November 4, 2008. 154 more days.
CJo: put up the countdown clock.
Posted by Sacki at 09:08 AM | Comments (4)June 03, 2008
Evolution
(Updated Below)
Using the evil internets I was able to track down where Stantis has been getting his quotes from - some press release sent out on Earth Day by the Washington Policy Center, one of those "conservative" operations funded by right-wing millionaires. Yes, there were a few folks saying that in the 1970s things were going to get colder. You know, back when people could only use a phone that had a cord connecting it to the phone line, when computers ran on reel to reel tapes, and everybody needed an antennae to watch 13 television stations.
Man, I wish I could live in Stantis' world, where I just trust the Bible to tell me what to believe. It's much harder living in the real world, where things evolve and change and advance over time. Over the weekend I watched the shuttle launch on the news, where they had a camera mounted on the fuel tank that allowed viewers to watch as the shuttle left our atmosphere. Back in 1970, Apollo 13 was only our third attempt at reaching the moon, and when an explosion crippled it they were relying on protractors and compasses to figure out a way to get home. But in Stantis' world, they would have just prayed really hard that they get home safely.
So in answer to Carmen/Stantis' question about what makes climate theory more accurate now than it was then, it's called "evolution." I know you don't believe in it, but our technology has evolved by leaps and bounds over the last 40 years. 40 years ago, I would have had to actually subscribe to a newspaper to read Prickly City - now I can pull it up for free on the evil internets. And I can point out how lame and unfunny it is online for a few people to read - even though technically millions could read it if Sacki didn't scare them all off.
But alas, not everything evolves with time. Right Stantis?
(Prickly City, April 15th, 2006)
(Prickly City, June 2nd, 2008)
Thanks to U Know Who for pointing this out. Maybe we should send out a press release to all of the newspaper editors out there letting them know that they're paying twice for the same damn strip because Scott Stantis is too lazy to be original. Then again all he does is spew out right wing talking points he reads in press releases anyway, so I doubt this would come as news to them.
***UPDATE***
U Know Who catches Stantis again, this time from October 2006:
Back to back retreads? Much like McCain's flip flopping, maybe Stantis doesn't realize that in the internet age it's not so easy to be so dishonest.
June 02, 2008
Jelly Bean Boom
I was going to spend 30-45 seconds researching this quote and quotee but then figured: why bother. It's not as if Stantis researched it before writing the strip. He just happened upon some Reason Magazine Op-Ed or some post on Free Republic that collected Environmentalists' Greatest Mistakes and dutifully scribbled down an example to 'adapt' into a strip.
And instead of this fact bothering me I can report that I feel fine. I feel fine.
Posted by CJo at 02:10 PM | Comments (5)June 01, 2008
Leading Some To Think Prickly City Sucks
Once again, I "get" what Stantis is going for here. But it just doesn't work for me.
Winslow yaps on about the Big Bang Theory and how "some" people think that once it reaches its zenith, time will go backwards. So he shakes up a can of pop and gives it to Carmen, apparently hoping that at the very moment she opens it the entire universe will have expanded as far as it can. Um, yeah.
Again, I see what he's trying to do. But geez louise, can we get something other than a first draft when we read Prickly City? This is just a basic idea in search of someone who can actually articulate it. Has anyone been reading Opus lately? Breathed has been doing a great series where Opus learns that he's just a character in a comic strip, and he's able to make it funny and insightful AND still relates it to politics.
Readers of Prickly City get half-baked philosophizing from a junior college dropout who's a George W. Bush apologist and wouldn't know a funny joke if it bit him on his zenith. That's not fair and balanced, that's just cruel to comic strip readers everywhere.
Posted by The Furnace at 02:18 PM | Comments (1)
picture courtesy of JB