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April 05, 2008
The Worst Thing
It finally happened.
Yesterday's Prickly City was so awful, so poorly drawn, so incredibly unfunny on numerous levels, that CJo couldn't take it.
"Look at Carmen in that second panel!" I could hear CJo yell in his office. "She doesn't even look human!" It got worse from there. "What's wrong with her arms in the third panel? What does 'metaphorical Dick Cheney' even mean???"
And then it happened. CJo snapped.
I found him curled up in the corner in the fetal position, mumbling to himself. "Stantis finally did it," he said. "I thought I could handle it. Day in, day out, the worst in the comic world by far. I've seen the land shark series and mocked it with ease. I stood firm when he joked about Terri Schiavo's death. I even survived two weeks of Winslow being eaten by President Clinton. But this - this - Carmen's googly eyes - Winslow's body in that last panel - Carmen's violent streak - doesn't make any sense..." he trailed off.
Once Sacki saw what the strip had done to CJo he refused to even read it (not that he reads the strips anyway - he learned long ago that life is too short). Last I heard Sacki was on I-90 headed for Florida to clear his mind with some college girls on spring break. Godspeed Sacki, godspeed.
I offered to step in, but as I helped CJo up and into the ambulance I knew that the time had come. It was time for Shrubville to go dark, if only for one day. There's only so much crap the human brain can read before it rebels, and for the Prickly City readers with brains yesterday was the tipping point. Black Friday in Prickly City.
But that was yesterday. This is today.
And in fine fashion, Scott Stantis returns to attacking a politician's physical features for cheap "laughs." Apparently Hillary has a unibrow and John McCain has jowls so big they need to be wrangled. I'm sure third graders everywhere are laughing at how funny the idea of Hillary Clinton looks with one big eyebrow is, and then asking their parents what "jowls" are and why John McCain's look funny. Um, maybe because of the melanoma cancer surgery McCain suffered through, Stantis. Ah yes, can't get enough of your awesome cancer and physical disfigurement jokes. Hardy har har. Maybe you can figure out a way to work in that McCain was a P.O.W., and his constant exposure to the sun during his imprisonment may have contributed to the skin cancer. I'm sure that's good for a few laughs. Dick.
So, Shrubville is back. And Stantis is back to writing and drawing the worst comic strip in the world. Not that anyone noticed in either case. But hey, somebody's gotta do it.
