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April 30, 2008
Crocs > Flip Flops
SYNOPSIS OF TODAY'S STRIP
Winston, the Liberal clown coyote, holds yet another press conference (podium message: 'Down Swinging'). In this press conference, he cites his adoration of the Montreal Expos as his favorite baseball squadron, and after questioning from the nameless MAINSTREAM MEDIA reporter, amends his answer to the Toronto Blue Jays.
CONSERVATIVE TALKING POINTS TOUCHED UPON
Liberals are always with the flipping and the flopping, mixing in the lies like oatmeal and raisins and walnuts and chocolate chips in an oatmeal raisin walnut chocolate chip cookie.
WHY IT'S FUNNY
Liberals can't make up their dadgum minds 'bout nothin'! They should take some lessons from the greatest president of the 21st century and be more resolute. This guy is the decider.
April 29, 2008
C.R.A.P.
Um, what?
Sorry, but I don't really get today's Prickly City. Winslow demands a poll, then apparently lays a bunch of eggs. What does it all mean?
I think it means that Stantis is desperate to avoid dealing with any real issues, so he goes after something like polling. That, and he has no idea how to draw Winslow excited.
Wasn't polling a big issue, oh, I dunno, back in JANUARY? Eh, who cares - we all know Stantis doesn't. Here's my challenge to Mr. Prickly City: how about a week's worth of strips explaining why you don't like John McCain, yet you're still going to vote for him? I'd love to hear how almost every Republican in the country is going to justify a huge flip flop like that, since - according to polls - McCain was at all of 1% last summer.
April 28, 2008
You're Right: It IS Ironic
Like rain on your wedding day or a free ride when you've already paid or Winslow playing with the world's slowest yo-yo or Carmen when she's walking with her curled toes, it is ironic that a poll came out about polling in which irony won. By a landslide.
It all makes perfect sense.
Well, all except the fact that Carmen is inexplicably stooped over when walking by Winslow.
Posted by CJo at 09:40 AM | Comments (2)April 27, 2008
R.I.P. Winslow
Today in Prickly City: Winslow commits suicide.
Good morning to you too, Stantis.
I know Stantis hates technology (I'd say that's why he hasn't updated his podcast since last July, but I think that's more because he's incredibly lazy), but having Winslow throw himself off a cliff when he can't access the internet? I'm glad I don't have kids, so I don't have to explain to them why the little cat KILLED HIMSELF in the comic strip this morning.
I'm about ready to retire the future goggles. Stantis is all over the map lately, pulling global warming out of the mothballs for no real reason other than the weather has been crazy the past few months (thanks God) and wasting most of last week on it. I'm guessing he'll finally do something with Hillary and Obama since Pennsylvania was all over the news a few weeks ago, but I'm not holding my breath. Stantis seems afraid to tackle anything of substance lately. I would think that the Dems fighting with each other would provide plenty of fodder for him, or his supposed hatred of McCain would bubble to the surface (but like Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum I get the feeling he'll come to love ol' Grampa Simpson McCain), but nope - let's throw Winslow off a cliff. That's entertainment, at least to Scott Stantis.
April 26, 2008
Hot Air
I'm starting to think that conservatives like Stantis have their brains wired differently than the rest of us. It's as if things like "logic" and "hypocrisy" don't factor into their way of thinking.
Today Stantis is continuing on with his whole idea that it's the global warming deniers who are the ones being persecuted, complete with Carmen being burned at the stake.
So let's try and follow Stantis' line of thinking. In the olden days, people who said the earth was round and the sun was the center of the universe were attacked as a part of the Inquisition, even though they were right. Therefore, since Carmen is right that man has nothing to do with global warming, she's being persecuted.
Slight problem. The folks who were going around burning people who said things like the earth is round? Religious leaders mostly. People who hated that little something known as "science." They're the ones who burned people at the stake. They're the ones who didn't want people speaking out against the church and defying the church elders by pointing out little things like that we're not the center of the universe.
But that's not how Stantis thinks. Nope, in his mind he's the only one who knows the truth (global warming is natural - i.e., it's caused by God's will) so he's the one being persecuted this time around. It's this bizarre transposition taking place in his brain where he doesn't seem to understand that in reality he's still got the mindset of those folks carrying the torches - except this time, he's in the minority because there's proof that global warming is being influenced by humans, and no amount of preaching on Sunday is going to change that.
It must be hard for guys like Stantis. In an age of science, so many of his beliefs sound silly. Does he really think the Earth is only 6,000 years old? Does he still believe it all started with a guy and a girl in a garden eating an apple from a snake? Does he think one of his relatives used to hunt down dinosaurs before hopping on an ark when a big flood hit?
What makes it even sillier is that those of us who agree that humans are influencing the environment in a negative way aren't persecuting people like Stantis and Carmen - we pity them. And, we laugh at them when they're not around. I mean come on - they're like children who still believe in the Easter Bunny (that icon of the Religious Right because of the huge role he played in the Bible). You can't really have a serious conversation with them about things like how the world started and how we got here and if our presence is having an effect - because they're coming from a place of magic and make-believe where things like facts and science don't play a role. Instead it's best just to let them believe what they want and ignore them. There's no point in trying to argue the facts, because they don't believe in them.
So go right ahead Stantis and keep believing that you and only you know "the truth" and we're all crazy for thinking that 30 degree swings in the weather aren't natural (yesterday in Chicago: 77. Today: 43 - and this has happened over a half dozen times this year alone). And the next time you're sick, just pray to your god that he makes you better. Don't you dare rely on that science stuff to make you better - I want Jesus to cure that broken leg or nasal infection with his touch (not that I'm wishing anything bad upon Stantis, I'm just sayin'). We here in the reality-based world will be more than happy to believe in science, and realize that little things like pollution and oil spills aren't good for the environment. And if we keep waiting for the bearded man in the clouds to make things better, we might as well hope his best friend the Easter Bunny brings us winning lottery tickets in that basket of his.
Posted by The Furnace at 11:27 AM | Comments (1)
April 25, 2008
Unacceptalbe Doctrine
This posture now adopted by Stantis and many of his friends on the Right with respect to the environment is -- to put it as mild as I possibly can -- really fucking funny.
After years of the Right pushing back as hard as they could on the environment -- conflating environmentalism with hippie-dom, tree-fucking, and paganism; arguing against scientists -- you know, those jokers who peddle in facts and figures and all that fancy talk when this here Earth looks fine from where I'm sitting yessiree Bob and in fact it just snowed! Explain THAT all you hippie scientists! -- after all their fight and bluster, the Right must now sit in absolute horror that Environmentalism has hit the mainstream with a bullet.
So what can they do now? What can they do when the insurgent, paradigm-shifting Environmentally-concerned school of thought has finally gone mainstream and they're left looking like the old, doddering, confused, intelligently-designed fools they are?
Why, they simply start posing as the insurgents. WE are the ones who are questioning the mainstream, they say. WE are the ones concerned with TRUTH and FACT, not crazy theories, they say. WE are the ones forward-thinking enough to question "ACCEPTED DOCTRINE."
Well, Scott-n-Fox-n-Friends, I'm calling your bullshit. And I raise you: Irresponsible Frauds.
Posted by CJo at 10:10 AM | Comments (2)April 24, 2008
Piss Drunk
Vintage Stantis today. Vintage Stantis.
"Global temperatures have not risen since 1998," Carmen proclaims, while the strip's author pulls a Bruce Tinsley and footnotes the claim, sourcing to the "BBC." (How specific!)
But here's where it gets interesting. A Google search for "global temperatures have not risen since 1998" yields many fascinating results, the first of which is an article from the BBC, which claims:
But [2008]'s temperatures would still be way above the average - and we would soon exceed the record year of 1998 because of global warming induced by greenhouse gases.The WMO points out that the decade from 1998 to 2007 was the warmest on record. Since the beginning of the 20th Century, the global average surface temperature has risen by 0.74C.
Seems pretty straightforward. 1998-2007 was the warmest decade on record. And 2008 could be the warmest yet "because of global warming induced greenhouse gases."
So why does Stantis seem to come to the OPPOSITE conclusion using the same set of facts, and possibly the same article?
I'll tell you why. Because he didn't use that same article as his source. He used some re-written, hackjob piece, which is the second Google hit.
Notice how it so artfully claims, "Source: BBC News" -- and it links to the actual article discussed above. But it completely re-interprets the facts. 1998 was a 'record year,' in terms of global temperatues. Therefore, that means that no year has been as hot as 1998! THEREFORE, global warming is a left-wing, media-propagated myth that we must expose as a fraud!
And then notice how all the other hits on the Google search are right-leaning blog posts (including Glenn fucking Beck), which, I'm sure, are using the re-written and mis-interpreted "BBC" article, and not the actual source material.
This is what informs their world. This is how people like Scott Stantis stay informed.
And then on top of that nonsense to throw in an Al Gore crack which is pushing 10 years old?
As I said: Vintage Stantis. Alas, this vintage -- which from the very beginning in 2004 was vile and medicinal, with hints of sour grapes and bitter dirt -- is now way past the point of drinking; it is just pure piss and shit.
Posted by CJo at 07:20 AM | Comments (2)April 23, 2008
It's Debatable
Spurred on by yesterday's suggestion that I should read this damn strip every once in a while before we shutter the operation when Barry H. Obama becomes the bestest president guy ever elected in the year 2008, I checked in to see that Winston & Carmen are holding joint press conferences about global warming. So, I guess that there really wasn't an intentional connection to Earth Day, but why should we expect there to be. The only 'holiday' in Prickly City appears to be the birthday of the singer of the Smithereens.
Meanwhile, the whiners at HuffPo - you know, the place mega-gazillionaire Arianna Huffington runs without paying any of her writers! - are already getting their grundy undies in a bunch over the Pennsylvania results.
9:52 Watching John King and his magic-marker fingers on CNN. It looks as if most of PA counties went for Senator Clinton. Too much light blue and not enough dark blue. I suppose a lot of Pennsylvania Democrats want a president who will obliterate Iran with nuclear weapons. I find that remarkable. Who would've thought Democrats would be in favor of a nuclear war in the Middle East.
Yeah...who would've thought....
As Obama told the Chicago Tribune on September 26, 2004, “[T]he big question is going to be, if Iran is resistant to these pressures [to stop its nuclear program], including economic sanctions, which I hope will be imposed if they do not cooperate, at what point … if any, are we going to take military action?”He added, “[L]aunching some missile strikes into Iran is not the optimal position for us to be in” given the ongoing war in Iraq. “On the other hand, having a radical Muslim theocracy in possession of nuclear weapons is worse.” Obama went on to argue that military strikes on Pakistan should not be ruled out if “violent Islamic extremists” were to “take over.”
Hillary and Barack have more in common that Winston & Carmen. Maybe they should run as a ticket in November.
Posted by Sacki at 08:03 AM | Comments (0)April 22, 2008
Prick Hugger
Why do I get the feeling that the syndicate told Stantis a few weeks back that today was Earth Day and they were going for a theme from the comics page? I have a hard time believing that Stantis checked his calendar for this of all holidays (is it technically a holiday, or just a day with a name? I never did really understand the point of it).
Anywho, some faceless stranger shows up to hug a cactus. I'm not really sure the point of it - I wish I could say there was a deeper meaning about how it's hard to go green but we need to for the sake of the planet, blah blah blah - but for me personally, I'm too upset with the fact that Exxon made $40 BILLION in profits last year while I just had to spend $3.67 a gallon for gas last night. Kinda hard to want to celebrate saving the planet when money makes the world go round.
For our friends in Pennsylvania, make sure to go out and vote. Remember, a vote for Obama means CJo and I can finally stop reading Prickly City.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:20 AM | Comments (5)April 21, 2008
Opening Days Ago
Some people think it's Opening Day when two unfortunate teams make a 16-hour airplane ride for a couple games in Japan. Others think Opening Day is when ESPN thaws out Jon Miller and Joe Morgan for the Sunday night kick-off. And then there are some who think Opening Day is, in fact, Opening Day, when the Cincinnatis play the Whomevers. But for me, it's not Opening Day until the split-fingered Stantis comes wobbling over the plate, three weeks late.
And this season, the big news is that Stantis comes out as a Dodgers fan!
At any rate, I'm a sucker for baseball cartoons, even lame, old gags like today. At least we didn't get any hectoring over steroids.
Posted by CJo at 09:25 AM | Comments (3)April 20, 2008
Floater
The local newspaper doesn't carry Prickly City so I read it online. Today the syndicate was nice enough to display the strip as Stantis intended - even though there's no newspaper in the country that would rearrange their entire layout because Stantis wanted to try something different. I feel bad for the people who were forced to turn their papers sideways to read a strip that DOESN'T MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE.
I understand what Stantis was trying to do. Hope - and balloons - float (well, as long as the balloon is filled with helium). Coyotes don't - so they crash to the ground if they don't have enough balloons to hold them up. That's all fine and good - nothing all that terrible, but also nothing all that funny about it. Whatever - par for the course in PC.
Unfortunately what's also par for the course with Stantis is that his last panel makes absolutely no sense.
If Winslow's balloon isn't big enough to help him float, then:
1) Where's Winslow's body? Didn't he crash to the ground?
2) Why is the balloon on the ground instead of Winslow? It's obviously filled with helium, since it's floating an inch off the ground in the last panel. Why didn't it float away?
3) Why did the balloon deflate from panel 3 to panel 4?
4) Again, where the heck is Winslow???
I would have to think that a "professional" comic strip artist like Scott Stantis would know how to write a punchline for this joke. The last panel should have been something along the lines of Winslow smooshed on the ground, covered in bandages with little stars circling his head, while the balloon floats off in the distance. Is that so hard?
Apparently for Stantis, yes. He can't be bothered with little things like writing comic strips that are both funny and logical. Nope - he wants us to believe that WINSLOW DID FLOAT AWAY IN THAT LAST PANEL SINCE HE'S NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. Is that what you were going for, Stantis? I mean you draw Winslow's eyes to be all bugged out in the third panel as if he's about to crash to the ground, but Carmen is there to tell us that coyotes don't float - yet HE'S NOT ON THE GROUND. So, using simple logic, according to Scott Stantis coyotes do float. Is that what you were going for today Scotty?
Just when you think he can't get any worse, Scott Stantis proves you wrong. Very wrong.
Posted by The Furnace at 10:18 AM | Comments (2)April 19, 2008
At, Not With
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
I'm not laughing with Scott Stantis. Nope, definitely laughing at him.
The reason: can you imagine someone who didn't read yesterday's strip trying to make sense of this? For starters, Mr. Laziness devotes the first three panels to a bunch of scribbles that are supposed to be a big rock or a cliff or something (and a cactus tossed in as an afterthought).
Then we get to the masterpiece: the fourth panel. Since I've been reading PC for several years now I know what Stantis was attempting to portray: Carmen is attempting to videotape Winslow trying to fly. But Stantis, who's a terrible artist to begin with, decided that he was going to try and cram all of that into a single panel. So that leaves us with Carmen holding something square - maybe it's a box of donuts, or maybe she's carrying some groceries. We only get half of Winslow's head along with what I think is supposed to be a banner - it's hard to tell because it could also be a tube of toothpaste squirting out half of Winslow's head.
I feel bad for the people who didn't read PC yesterday so they have no idea what's happening. Why is Carmen carrying a box? Why is Winslow smooshed into the desert? Was he up on the rock and jumped off? What is Carmen trying to run? So many questions, so little to laugh about.
Instead, we here at Shrubville can finally have a good chuckle. We can laugh at how poorly Stantis draws. Crack up at how, like your average fifth grader, he thought he'd cheat and eat up the first three panels with scribbles so the teacher would think he did a lot of work. We can even guffaw at the idea that Stantis thinks a video camera these days looks like a shoe box with a ball at the end.
But Stantis does get the last laugh - he gets paid for this crap, and no matter how little work he does or how unfunny he is, he'll always get paid because he's a conservative comic strip artist and papers are afraid to drop him for fear of being painted as biased by Republican blowhards. Congrats, Scotty - he who laughs last, does last best. Too bad you're the only one laughing because you think Prickly City is actually funny.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:55 AM | Comments (0)April 18, 2008
Ah, yes, the viral video gambit. Good move, Winslow; good move.
Might I suggest my favorite viral video of the moment:
April 17, 2008
Snatchity Snatchity Boom
While Scott Stantis drops the word 'snatch' into the daily papers; while George Stephanopoulos lowers his pants and displays his little miniature penis for all the world to see; while Charlie Gibson stammers out Republican talking points in the guise of serious journalism; while John McCain and Hillary Clinton yowl in heat and jump in bed together as the media savors every minute, videotaping it and replaying it over and over like the political pornography it is; while all this is happening, the concerns -- the true, real concerns -- of our country -- of our WORLD -- go unnoticed and unmet.
God damn America, my friends. And fuck it, too.
Posted by CJo at 09:04 AM | Comments (1)April 16, 2008
Pop Quiz, Hotshots
· Is this the first appearance in P.C. of Barack Hussein Obama, Jr?
· John McCain – twin of Rush Limbaugh, or evil twin of Michael Moore?
· Is anyone keeping track of those stupid little words/phrases at the bottom of Winston’s podium? For reference, today’s word is: Boo.
· Simplicity is good, no? Better to have a short and quick P.C. than to have to labor through it, yes?
April 15, 2008
Just Another Tuesday
Considering how many things Stantis gets wrong I'm not surprised that tax day is the one special event he makes sure to address every year. If there's a person who deserves to be audited, it's Stantis.
Look at everything he screws up today. That's supposed to be a leech? Really? It looks the hairstyle Marlo Thomas and Mary Tyler Moore wore in the 60s (and to a lesser extent Conde Rice's hair today). At first I thought it was crushing Carmen, but now I realize that it's actually sucking the blood out of her THROUGH HER ASS. You're a sick freak, Stantis.
Of course it's tax and spend liberal Winslow who refers to tax time as the "yearly leeching," because it makes oh-so-much sense to have the guy who's in favor of people paying their fair share to refer to it as "leeching."
Add in how horribly the strip is done and it's easily one of the worst Prickly City strips of the year. Fitting for the one day of the year everybody hates, especially Stantis, even though he's had all year to prepare for it. Too bad he didn't spend that time writing a good comic strip instead of whining about having to pay taxes on an income he doesn't deserve.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:38 AM | Comments (2)
April 14, 2008
Better Never Than Late
Come on.
How bad is it in the Stantis Komick Studio that 45 days after the now infamous Hillary Clinton 3 AM Ad hits the airwaves this is the response. Not only is it laughably late, but it is also lamentably lame.
Has he been sitting on this strip because it was so dumb and he was embarrassed to submit it? And then in the absence of anything else emanating from his scribble pens, was he forced to send this to the syndicate or else be in violation of his contract?
I don't know. Frankly, I don't care.
Neither do you.
And you know what: neither does he. He's just a check-cashing machine at this point.
Posted by CJo at 09:11 AM | Comments (2)April 13, 2008
Takes One To Know One
I am so sick and tired of Republicans like Stantis and their false arguments. Yes Scott, it's a do-nothing Congress. They get nothing done, nothing at all. And since the Democrats are in the majority, they must be to blame, right?
Wrong. It's your Republican minority, Stantis, that is filibustering more than any previous group in the history of the House.
Scotty tries to go for a two-fer today - Winslow can't believe that Carmen isn't spending her time with that eeevil technology and is simply doing nothing (like Congress, of course). Gee, I wonder - what if it was Winslow that was sitting out in the desert doing nothing? Think Stantis would have gone for a cheap welfare joke? Maybe talk about how he's waiting for the flood like the Katrina victims? Ohhh I've got it - he'd say he's just like Obama, because Obama hasn't done anything in his political career.
I guess yesterday's "behind the scenes" post was a little more prescient than I expected - Carmen's even doing less than standing in the desert since she's just sitting there, and she's actually admitting that she has nothing to do in the strip. She's almost as lazy as her creator, who has redefined how to do virtually nothing and get paid for it.
I guess that means the last panel in today's strip should have looked a little bit more like this:
April 12, 2008
Behind The Scenes
Somewhere in the heart of the Prickly City production offices...
CARMEN: Hey Scott, what have you got for me today?
STANTIS: Oh - hey Carmen. Well, we're wrapping up Winslow's storyline with the fibbing and the crazy pastor today.
CARMEN: You mean where you're going after Hillary for the Bosnia story and Obama because of the Jeremiah Wright controversy?
STANTIS: Exactly. So unfortunately we don't have anything for you.
CARMEN: I suppose it could be worse.
STANTIS: How so?
CARMEN: You could have just as easily gone after John McCain, which would mean I'd have to take the brunt of some of the jokes.
STANTIS: Yeah well I might not like the guy, but he is a Republican.
CARMEN: True. And the media loves him, so he'll be easy to elect. I mean check out how they've given him a free pass on everything the last few weeks. He flip flopped on the mortgage crisis three times. He didn't oppose torture even though he's actually BEEN tortured and knows it doesn't work. And he's "mis-spoken" about al Qaeda having ties to Iran several times now - and he gets a free pass every time!
STANTIS: But none of those things are as bad as Hillary or Obama. I mean come on - she fibbed about that Bosnia story - what else is she going to mis-remember? And Jeremiah Wright - what's next, is he going to blame America for 9/11 too?
CARMEN: Yeah, can you imagine if Jerry Falwell blamed Americans for what happened on 9/11?
(sound of crickets chirping, since that's exactly what Falwell did)
STANTIS: Anyways, we'll wrap up the attacks on Hillary and Obama today but I promise tomorrow we'll do something completely unrelated to politics.
CARMEN: Winslow talking to the sky again?
STANTIS: Yeah probably. But you'll be there too.
CARMEN: Standing in the desert?
STANTIS: As always.
CARMEN: Cool. But since I'm here can I at least do a pop-in? Maybe roll my eyes at Winslow in the last panel?
STANTIS: Ehhh, sure I guess. I'm just drawing the top of Winslow's head again this week so I don't really have that much to do.
CARMEN: Gotta love the podium - I can't believe they pay you for this!
STANTIS: Me neither!
Posted by The Furnace at 01:39 PM | Comments (0)April 11, 2008
In today's strip, Fred accompanies his owners to a "Furnishings" store. Always the critic, Fred gives his thought-bubble opinions on certain fabrics, proclaiming a plaid pattern "too traditional!" and a floral number "too loud!" At this point, Fred's imagination goes into overdrive and he thought-bubbles the "perfect!" fabric: bones! He imagines himself sleeping on a chair with a bone pattern!
Oh, Fred Bassett: you're the most interesting little dog in the funnies!
Posted by CJo at 12:36 PM | Comments (4)April 10, 2008
A Song for Patriots
God damn America,
Land of the dumb,
Like Scott Stantis and his antics
His sticks a finger in his ass and pulls a plum;
From the comics, to Fox News
To the internet bathed in Drudge,
God damn America,
Let's throw some sludge.
God damn America,
Let's throw some sludge.
April 09, 2008
Susan Powter Says...
Even though I'm generally supportive of B.Hussein Obama jabs in this primary season, I can't fully endorse this shot by Stantis. How the hell is this allowed on the comics pages? I'm pretty sure that in the majority of markets in which Prickly City is published that it's on the comics pages, and not on the editorial pages. Therefore, little Thurston Mumbleypegs is sitting at the breakfast table with his father, Mr. Mumbleypegs, and asks to see the funny pages. Since Mr. Mumbleypegs hasn't bothered to make little Thurston anything to eat before sending him off to school on an empty stomach, making learning all that much more difficult according to studies, he decides it's the least he could do, and Mr. Mumbleypegs is widely known throughout the neighborhood as one who does the least he could. Have you seen their lawn? Anyhow, little Thurston gets the chance to read the paper on an empty stomach and the first thing that grabs his limited attention is the bold, all-caps, oversized "DEATH TO AMERICA!" Unable to take the words in context, and unable to grasp the concept of nuance, little Thurston Mumbleypegs is sent off to school by his half-wit father with his Underoos pulled snug over his sweatpants, returning the busdriver's greeting of As-Salamu Alaykum with a hearty "Death to America!" Later during the Pledge of Allegiance he again shouts out "Death to America!" Little Thurston Mumbleypegs is sent to the principal's office, and thereafter suspended, his father is threatened by his coworkers for raising a little commie fag, and the family has to move to Idaho. By then, little Thurston Mumbleypegs, once a Cub Scout, Honor Roll student and T-Ball All-Star, really does come to hate America and begins preparing for the final conflict in his underground bunker with Mr. Mumbleypegs, his father's 12 wives, and the numerous half-brothers and half-sisters forced to live in shame against the will of god.
Today's lesson: failing to understand context and/or nuance will lead one to insanity. Or they could just wind up drawering a comic strip.
April 08, 2008
Tomorrow: We Just See The Podium and Winslow's Words
So rather than directly go after Hillary for the Bosnia story Stantis is going to have it play out as if Winslow's the one who did it. Why? Why not just go after Hillary?
The term "ham-fisted" comes to mind as I read today's Prickly City. Yesterday Winslow told his own "Bosnia" story, but he never mentions Bosnia. So we really have no way of knowing where this sniper fire was supposedly taking place at and where Winslow's plane was landing or why he was even on the plane.
But apparently the press has audio and video of this plane landing, which debunks Winslow's story. And he blames them for bringing it up - even though he brought it up yesterday.
Maybe "ham-fisted" isn't the right term. "Stupid" and "poorly written" might work better.
This might have worked if Stantis had just gone after Hillary directly. Instead he has to try and make Winslow her proxy, and it doesn't make sense. Hillary never blamed the press for "bringing it up." She got busted, came up with a lame excuse about "mis-remembering," and that should have been fodder for an easy series of comics for Stantis to have fun with. Instead, he shoe-horns Winslow into the story and it's a miserable failure.
At least Stantis' laziness is on full display. He makes sure to get Winslow behind the podium again and keeps his movements to a minimum, so tracing today's strip must have been pretty easy. Other than slight changes to his eyes and eyebrows, and then a point at the end, Winslow was traced too. He didn't even have to draw the members of the press. I wonder if Stantis will use Winslow's third excuse of "I was tired" as to why he can't be bothered with actually writing and drawing a professional comic strip.
Maybe we here at Shrubville should start a countdown: how much longer before we get tired of putting more effort into this blog than Stantis does into a comic strip he gets paid to create? After today I'm thinking maybe two weeks.
April 07, 2008
Touch of Evil Dead
Even though I'm generally supportive of HRC jabs in this primary season, I can't fully endorse this shot by Stantis. Because, you know, him attacking a Clinton is business as usual. But I do give him points for focusing his attention back to current-ish events.
In fact, I'm looking forward to Scott's Charlton Heston tribute in two weeks. If he does it right -- which I'm sure he won't -- we'll get to see inside Heston's open casket. Inside we'll find Heston's corpse; his cold, dead hands wrapped around a rifle. Winslow will walk up to the casket and pry the gun out of said cold, dead hands. Meanwhile, a lone tear will run down Carmen's face.
Posted by CJo at 03:50 PM | Comments (0)April 06, 2008
Redefining Lazy the Stantis Way
So instead of Winslow attempting to fly it looks like Stantis is going to have him periodically yell questions at the sky. That's right - godless liberal heathen Winslow is asking God "why?". I didn't think it was possible, but Stantis has found a way to be even lazier than he was before. Now he doesn't even have to draw Winslow wearing crazy flying get-ups - it's just Winslow standing in the desert, which is what he does every day. I wouldn't put it past Stantis that after today's fall thanks to Carmen's big mouth Winslow will be in traction for the next few months so Stantis just has to draw the coyote laying in bed. Then Carmen will break his jaw, so he won't even have to draw his mouth moving when he talks. Come on, Stantis - try to be even lazier! I know you can do it!
Looking back, it's hard to believe that when the big three candidates are all making headlines (Hillary's sniper story, Obama's pastor, McCain lying about al Qaeda and Iran, etc.) Stantis spent a week on whether or not Carmen and Winslow could be running mates. Yeah, he tried to work in slams on the internet, but this is the best he can do? It would be on thing if his slams on the net included how idiots who read those stupid emails think Obama is a Muslim, but nope - just more lazy, half-azzed comments that were tossed out as an afterthought.
With Tucker Carlson and John Gibson both losing their jobs, how long before editors across the country realize that it's okay to fire lame conservatives like Stantis?
April 05, 2008
The Worst Thing
It finally happened.
Yesterday's Prickly City was so awful, so poorly drawn, so incredibly unfunny on numerous levels, that CJo couldn't take it.
"Look at Carmen in that second panel!" I could hear CJo yell in his office. "She doesn't even look human!" It got worse from there. "What's wrong with her arms in the third panel? What does 'metaphorical Dick Cheney' even mean???"
And then it happened. CJo snapped.
I found him curled up in the corner in the fetal position, mumbling to himself. "Stantis finally did it," he said. "I thought I could handle it. Day in, day out, the worst in the comic world by far. I've seen the land shark series and mocked it with ease. I stood firm when he joked about Terri Schiavo's death. I even survived two weeks of Winslow being eaten by President Clinton. But this - this - Carmen's googly eyes - Winslow's body in that last panel - Carmen's violent streak - doesn't make any sense..." he trailed off.
Once Sacki saw what the strip had done to CJo he refused to even read it (not that he reads the strips anyway - he learned long ago that life is too short). Last I heard Sacki was on I-90 headed for Florida to clear his mind with some college girls on spring break. Godspeed Sacki, godspeed.
I offered to step in, but as I helped CJo up and into the ambulance I knew that the time had come. It was time for Shrubville to go dark, if only for one day. There's only so much crap the human brain can read before it rebels, and for the Prickly City readers with brains yesterday was the tipping point. Black Friday in Prickly City.
But that was yesterday. This is today.
And in fine fashion, Scott Stantis returns to attacking a politician's physical features for cheap "laughs." Apparently Hillary has a unibrow and John McCain has jowls so big they need to be wrangled. I'm sure third graders everywhere are laughing at how funny the idea of Hillary Clinton looks with one big eyebrow is, and then asking their parents what "jowls" are and why John McCain's look funny. Um, maybe because of the melanoma cancer surgery McCain suffered through, Stantis. Ah yes, can't get enough of your awesome cancer and physical disfigurement jokes. Hardy har har. Maybe you can figure out a way to work in that McCain was a P.O.W., and his constant exposure to the sun during his imprisonment may have contributed to the skin cancer. I'm sure that's good for a few laughs. Dick.
So, Shrubville is back. And Stantis is back to writing and drawing the worst comic strip in the world. Not that anyone noticed in either case. But hey, somebody's gotta do it.
April 03, 2008
Today Once More
Today is another example of Scott Stantis' minuscule craw where items stick forever; his short attention span; a lack of sense of humor; his inability to vary the strip's art to add *something* of interest for once to the visual design; his willingness to reach back four years to re-beat a horse whose corpse has long since rotted to dust; the petty and vindictive fits he throws when he is most certainly overcompensating for his lack of perception and understanding not only of the world-at-large, but also the comic strip writing business; and etc.
Today is another day to hope that tomorrow we will wake up to The End of Prickly City.
Posted by CJo at 08:25 AM | Comments (0)April 02, 2008
Don't Forget The Chaps
Nice. A Constitutional lecture from the Ol' Perfessor. The same guy who thinks it's kosher to roll out the Ten Commandments in court or that it's perfectly cool to have Congress enact legislation what for saving brain-dead ladies.
Nevertheless, as a blogger* it appears that I am somehow embued with the secret power to interpret the law of the land, so therefore I demand that Winston immediately comply with the Constitutional language cited yesterday and commence with vest-wearing. Spangled, sequined, crocheted, leather, denim. You've gotta dress the part.
*I have a difficult time accepting the widespread misuse of the terms "blog" and "blogger" to cover a wide swath of online participants. Now, there can be a difference of opinion and hairsplitting on what exactly constitutes a blog and what defines a blogger, but there's one thing that I think most rational folks could agree on. People who leave comments on websites aren't bloggers.
Now, as far as the shrieking from Carmen in the last panel about the "Mainstream Media" goes, all I know is that the talking point blowhards from the loony-left Huffington Post and the retarded-right Townhall.com both find the "Mainstream Media" objectionable in oh so many ways that frankly it can't be all that bad.
Posted by Sacki at 09:53 AM | Comments (2)April 01, 2008
Jokeless in Seattle
Well it looks like Stantis is going with the oh-so-hysterical and oh-so-relevant part of our election process that says the President and Vice President can't be from the same state. Here's a link to Article 2 of the Constitution that Winslow is talking about.
I'm not sure if Stantis is bringing this up because of the whole Bush/Cheney/Texas thing in 2000 (read more about it here - h/t John from yesterday's comments) or if it has something to do with the dust up on the internet about John McCain being born on a military base in Panama. The Panama thing cracks me up since folks seem to have forgotten that McCain kinda already ran for president once before and people already figured out that he is a U.S. citizen, but whatever.
It's too bad Old Man Stantis reverted back to his technology-hating ways with that last line where he takes a shot at internet conspiracy theories. A more appropriate line would have had Winslow saying that he found the Constitution in the trash after Carmen and the other Republicans tried to throw it away.
Is Stantis really going to spend a week on this? He didn't even have a joke in yesterday's strip, and today he goes with the lame Carmen slam and an internet reference. Reading the newspaper two weeks ago Stantis couldn't come up with ANYTHING more interesting than this non-starter of a storyline?
What will be really lame is if Stantis announces tomorrow that it was all an April Fool's joke, and Carmen and Winslow don't really have to break up - they can still run for the White House. Nah, that would have meant Stantis actually planned ahead and we know that's not possible.
In other news, Sacki is pregnant, CJo is four feet tall, and I'm still looking for a date for my high school prom. Happy April 1st!
picture courtesy of JB