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February 23, 2008
Lil' Miss Morality
Time for Scott Stantis to get on his soap box and tell us all how we should live our lives. Looks like he noticed "Knocked Up" and "Juno" on the video rental shelves and decided how sinful it is - sinful I tell you! - that these young people would dare indulge in carnal activities before marriage. I'm sure Mr. Stantis was a virgin when he got married, because he would never ever be that big a hypocrite.
Gotta love conservatives. You'd think Stantis would be happy that in those two blockbusters the parents decided to keep the baby and stay together. But nope - that's not nearly enough. They should have been married first!
Please Carmen/Stantis, please tell us more about how eeevil liberal Hollywood's "moral compass" always points south. Not like the moral compass that conservatives have, which far too often seems to point at a young boy's ass. It's too bad Hollywood doesn't live by the good morality of people like David "hooker" Vitter, Mark "teen boys rule" Foley, Rush "how many wives is it now?" Limbaugh, Newt "you have cancer? Oh - well I want a divorce so I can marry my mistress" Gingrich, and so on.
What makes this strip so delicious is that it's coming on the heels of the revelation that John McCain probably cheated on his wife with a female lobbyist back during the 2000 election. Of course the attention-grabber is the sex part, but the reality is it should be far more damning how much McCain's done for the lobbyists. Mr. Keating Five himself (a story from St. McCain's past the media never really wants to talk about), Mr. Straight Talk Express, has been in bed with the lobbyists for years - only now we're learning it was both literally and figuratively.
And let's not forget that St. McCain openly cheated on his first wife thirty or so years ago, finally settling on a blond named Cindy who just happened to be an heiress whose money has financed the Holy One's political career. What's that you say? You didn't know John McCain cheated on his first wife and then married his mistress? Gee, if I didn't know better I'd think he was one of these Hollywood liberals that Carmen is talking about. Nah, that can't be right. John McCain is a man's man. He's got real conservative values and morals. It's those great morals that make McCain such a great liar.
I hope this storyline never ends. I hope Scott Stantis continues to tell everybody how they should live their lives so they can be good people. Unmarried and pregnant? You're evil. You have no moral compass. You had sex before marriage. Let's take it further. All girls should sign one of those purity oaths that are all the rage for Christians. But saying that won't have sex until marriage isn't enough. We can't let silly little women choose what to do with their bodies - they'll just wear thongs and too-tight jeans and make up. We should wrap them up from head to toe - we shouldn't even see their faces. Scott Stantis can then choose which male should be able to plant his seed in her. But the boy's family should bring something to the table - maybe some goats and a cow or two. Then we'll live truly moral, Christian lives. Right Stantis?
By the way, I haven't seen "Juno." Does she want to get married at the end of the movie? From what I remember "Knocked Up" doesn't end with a wedding. So where is Stantis getting that from? Oh - wait - he's just making shit up so he can make a point. Nevermind. It's that good moral base of his that lets him lie about things so he can act holier than everybody else.
Comments
Furnace,
I agree about Stantis's extreme moralism being hypocritical, as is that of many prominent conservatives. John McCain, despite being a so-called straight talker is no exception. As I wrote on Wednesday at Tumbleweedtown:
Speaking of ethical issues, how 'bout that John McCain? Changing his positions on waterboarding and the Bush tax cuts to appease the conservatives certainly undermines his image as a straight talker. Earlier there was that Keating Five scandal, plus he divorced his first wife.... Lying, unethical conduct, divorce -- I'd like to say that Republicans wouldn't rally behind such a man, but he wouldn't be the first Republican president to do those things.
That was written before this whole New York Times story on his close friendship with the female lobbyist broke. McCain says that they never had a romantic relationship, and she says so as well, and I personally believe that they probably didn't. Even if they did, the story is blown way out of proportion and McCain really did nothing wrong then. Actually, the Washington Post published a similar "expose" in 2000, which was refuted by a Democratic former chair of the FCC: "Nothing was objectionable … in the letters that you mysteriously find offensive. What is wrong is for an elected official to adopt a point of view about a matter because of financial contributions. If you think John McCain's opinions can be bought, your opinion flies in the face of all of my experience of the man." The NY Times article from a few days ago was refuted today by the man who was the commissioner of the FCC at the time, who said that he wrote reasonable letters simply requesting that the FCC complete its work on time in deciding a case. So did McCain do anything wrong? No. I am disappointed in the usually excellent Times that they published this fabricated tripe. In fact, I was also disappointed the day after the debate when they acted as if Hillary Clinton's "change you can Xerox" line was a great attack that would boost her popularity when in fact it garnered a lot of boos from the audience in Texas.
Now, the Keating Five scandal IS something legitimate that McCain could be lambasted for. And if he runs against Hillary, you better believe that Keating Five, Whitewater, and maybe even Monica will be dug up again.
Posted by: Chris at February 23, 2008 03:19 PM
By the way, as for today's strip -- the main problem I had with it was the use of three punchlines in the last panel, each one worse than the last, which completely ruined his comedic timing.
Oh, and as Stantis failed to realize, Mexico is NOT due south of LA -- the Pacific Ocean is.
Posted by: Chris at February 23, 2008 03:21 PM
http://tumbleweedtown.blogspot.com/2008/02/cartoon-tourettes-syndrome.html
Posted by: Chris at February 23, 2008 03:21 PM
So, um, what about gay people? I guess this means that they should be able to GET MARRIED, because I already know a ton of gay people who HAVE KIDS.
But then, I am a pinko liberal who is still sad that Prickly City's awfulness cause Candorville to be dropped in the name of affirmative action for conservative cartoonists.
Posted by: Annie at February 23, 2008 04:42 PM
...I'm still trying to decypher how in the world an editor approved this current "storyline"...
Then again, it would also explain why this strip is still being published...
Posted by: AtmanRyu at February 23, 2008 11:11 PM
