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February 09, 2008
Let's Attack Bill Clinton - As A Baby
There are times when I feel sorry for Republicans like Scott Stantis. They have this sad obsession with living in the past. Reagan is their god, even though his candidacy was filled with corruption and tax hikes (yes, that's right, tax hikes - Republican history forgets that part). He buried us in debt. He's the one who gave Saddam all those weapons to kill his own people. And so on. Republicans are also obsessed with going back to the 50s. Sometimes it's the 1950s, where they forget all about the three recessions and children being taught to duck and cover to avoid a nuclear attack, and instead focus on the make believe world of "Leave It To Beaver" as if that's what really happened. Other times they're obsessed with going back to the 1850s, when negroes and women knew their place. It's a pretty depressing life being a Republican - they still think Saddam had WMDs and ties to 9/11, they still think that tax cuts are the cure-all for any problem, and global warming is a myth. In some cultures they'd be considered mentally disabled - in ours they rule the country.
Then there are other times like today when I'm disgusted by Republicans like Scott Stantis. Oh he's still living in the past - but here his obsession with Bill Clinton and his penis are still on full display. Oh how much Stantis loves the fact that Bill became part of the news while campaigning for Hillary. All of those jokes he's been thinking of since Clinton left office 8 years ago - he finally gets to trot them out as if people still care. Bill Clinton is fat! Bill Clinton is a pervert! Bill Clinton has no shame! It's the "Freebird" of politics - no matter what is actually happening, Republicans can't help but be the dick in the audience that screams out something about how eeevil Bill Clinton was when he was president.
And now that it's been 8 years and he's running out of material to make fun of an adult Bill Clinton, Scott Stantis has to resort to making fun of Bill Clinton as a child. In the second grade he lost his "scruples," even though I'm not really sure what that means. In the first grade he stopped telling the truth. And he was born without shame. That's right - Scott Stantis is making fun of Bill Clinton as a baby. Class act.
Can you imagine anyone daring to make these jokes about their Lord and Savior Ronald Reagan? It would be a bloodbath, and Republicans from all corners of the country would be screaming for that person to be fired and strung up as a traitor who loves the terrorists. But when it comes to Bubba, there are no limits. Say anything you want - it's funny cuz it's Bill Clinton and he had the nerve to be a successful president no matter how many times the Republicans tried to ruin him.
I think that's really the key to their hatred of him. Try as they might, they couldn't beat him. Instead he became a successful president - even more successful than their Lord and Savior Ronnie if you look at the numbers. People around the world love him. There are folks who will vote for Hillary just because they LIKE the idea of having him back in the White House, even if it's just as the presidential spouse. And that burns up neo-cons like Stantis.
Especially since they look back at the last 8 years and see how catastrophic the Bush presidency has been. They can't admit to themselves that Bush did everything Reagan did and more - and he's been a complete and utter failure. Tax cuts to the rich have led to a recession, and what's essentially a birth tax of $35,000 each. We're stuck in wars in Iraq and Afghanistan without end. A housing crisis. A credit crisis. The dollar weaker than ever. More debt than every other president in history COMBINED. Torture is legal. Spying on American citizens is legal. And what Nixon said is true - if the president does it, it's not a crime. What Reagan wanted Bush got - he really is the King. And still the country is worse than it was 8 years ago.
When Bill Clinton was president.
So go ahead, Stantis - keep ripping on Bill. Keep acting like it's the 1990s. Because lord knows for the first time in ages I too wish we were living in the past, when we didn't have a King ruling us and spying on us and taking from the middle class to give to the rich. I think we'd all rather be living in the 90s again. Even you, Stantis. And that's what makes you sooo jealous of the man they call Bubba.
Comments
In two weeks, Stantis will have a strip about how swell the tax rebates are, right around the time that everyone realizes it's just their own tax payment money that they have to give back come April 15 of 2008.
Posted by: Annie at February 9, 2008 11:34 AM
