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February 29, 2008
Saved by the Good Doc
I had nothing today, folks. Nothing. Nada.
Thankfully, one of our sharper readers Doc Sane had some sane comments, which I'm publishing without permission.
(The royalty check is in the mail, Doc. I swear.)
Actually, I'm going to go out on a limb and say I'm glad that Stantis is bringing the issue up and proving the point to Carmen. Looking at the comic today, it finally clicked in my head what Prickly City is all about. It's the warring sides of Scott Stantis's mind, with Carmen usually thoroughly in control, but with Winslow occasionally making points which can't be ignored. I think that Stantis really hates the Winslow side of his mind, because it makes him confront some of the ugly policies he's promoted in the past few years. But then we get the last two strips, with Carmen pouting about why we aren't allowed to use torture and now being forced to experience what she was promoting. This is one of the only times when we may get to see Carmen admit that Winslow was right about this one.Posted by CJo at 03:06 PM | Comments (6)On the other hand, Stantis may pull another crazy 180 on us and no point will have been made at all. Even so, just this once, as late and as half-assed as it is, I'm glad Scott Stantis has figured out that some things shouldn't be done if we want to keep claiming to be the good guys in this whole mess. At the very least, it's a nice change from the usual Carmen's-always-right-and-Winslow's-an-idiot pattern he maintains.
February 28, 2008
Why Won't Someone Please Think of the Children?
Ah, mirth and joy. The stuff comic strips are made of. Gather 'round the cereal bowl, kiddies; daddy's gonna read you the funnies.
Except it's not funny, is it, children. The little cat-dog has never been funny, nor has its owner. And now today...please don't cry, children...I'm here to protect you...I won't let anyone hurt you. Yes, I know the little cat-dog has strapped its owner to a board and is now pouring water down her throat, but...no, no; don't worry: the cat-dog won't come and get you too. He's just proving a point. Or something. Frankly, kids, I don't know why this is happening. I don't know why the guy who writes this comic strip -- we'll call him Mr. Hacky -- I don't know why Mr. Hacky markets this strip toward children with his bizarre "W the Coyote" and "C the Girl" sticker giveaways and then proceeds to litter it with disturbing imagery and adult content.
So, kids, in order to not traumatize you any further, I am closing the comics section. And I will never open it again in your presence. Again, please don't cry. I know. It's sad. Today is a sad day. Today is the day the comics died. Mr. Hacky killed them for you and for me.
Posted by CJo at 11:52 AM | Comments (2)February 27, 2008
Let's All Go To The Lobby And Bundle Up A PAC
Digging through the Shrubville mailbag, I came across this in a comment from our Shrubville-critiquing friend Chris:
"It is refreshing that all three of the remaining viable candidates for president are strongly opposed to bowing to the special interests and the lobbyists."
I guess, like torture, "strongly opposed to bowing to the special interests and the lobbyists" is open to interpretation.
As noted in this article, all of the candidates, even Obama - the Lyin' Hawaiian - fund themselves with dirty, dirty money.
And if they truly wanted to let it be known that they eschew funding themselves with dirty, dirty money, they would make a point to turn down privately-raised funds and campaign with public financing, and yet they probably will not, letting it be known where their loyalty truly lies.
Some "good guys."
Posted by Sacki at 09:42 AM | Comments (6)February 26, 2008
The Republican Pick
First off: Baby Carmen wears a diaper and drinks from a bottle but has the ability to say "stop it?" That's either one really smart infant or one really slowly-developing toddler.
Stantis is still complaining about McCain because he wrote this before the conservatives were told they have to like him now as CJo pointed out yesterday. Carmen/Stantis doesn't like that McCain didn't always fall in lock step with the Republican leadership - that in the past he had this little habit of thinking for himself every once in a while. Hasn't Stantis been paying attention the last 7 years? That's the old McCain! The new one is Bush 3!
It's a shame that Stantis and other Republicans don't fully appreciate why McCain did what he did back then. Since he was a part of the Keating Five during the savings and loan scandal, he had to play the part of "reformer" and "straight talker" to try and salvage his career. He dodged a bullet when things fell apart, so much like Eddie Haskell he had to pretend to fly right and work with the other side so people accepted that he really was a "new man." No more cheating for this former Fifth Keating! He's a maverick!
So you conservatives need to appreciate that all of that "poking" he did was just an act. Look at the guy's record. Yeah, there were a few times he crossed the aisle to work with the Democrats (funny, but aren't the Republicans the ones now saying we're supposed to work together - why are they complaining about McCain having done that in the past?). But he didn't really MEAN it. He's always been a neo-conservative. He just couldn't proudly wear it on his sleeve.
People tend to forget that while McCain ran as a moderate conservative in 2000, so did Bush. But McCain had a history of working with the Dems in the Senate (not really, but that was his reputation - I mean come on, is working with Joe Lieberman working with the Dems?), and Bush was a clean slate. That's why I'm loving the way Rush and Hannity are frothing at the mouth about McCain - they spent all of the 2000 election campaigning against the guy, and now they're supposed to forget all that and support him? Not bloody likely, at least not until they finally get the message that he's not going away.
Apparently Rush, Hannity, and Stantis haven't been paying close attention the last few years. Yeah, McCain was asked by John Kerry to be his running mate in 2004 (keep in mind that Joe Lieberman actually was the VP nominee in 2000, so guys who pretend to be moderates seem to be their choice) - but days later he was hugging Bush and endorsing the guy that smeared him in South Carolina in 2000.
Since then McCain has been a full-blown, out-in-the-open neo-con, openly saying we need to bomb Iran, he wants to make the tax cuts permanent, and just endorsed torture(?!?!?!). The Real McCain is FINALLY coming back out, but Stantis and Co. are reluctant to wrap their arms around him. But give him a little while - about two weeks from when that New York Times story came out revealing that McCain is in bed with the lobbyists.
It's funny - watching conservatives whine about McCain really is like watching little kids pick on each other. Stantis actually nailed it this time around (it's not funny, but he's right on). McCain didn't always hang out with the kool kids. So now he must be punished. Of course they'll still let him hang with them - but first, he's got to be given the cold shoulder until he brings them something they want. Maybe he can sneak them an extra couple cookies or a few juice boxes, like promising even more tax cuts and saying he'll bomb Iran within six months of taking office. Then those Republicans like Stantis will come around - you just need to give the baby his bottle and he'll suck all day.
February 25, 2008
My Friends, My Friends
My friends, my friends; don't impressed, my friends, with Scott's "witty" word play. There are 12,600 hits for "John McCaint," though most of them seem to be from Hungary.
Also, do not be impressed by Scott's whack-job on McCain. As we all know, this strip was penned prior to the New York Times piece. We can expect in a few weeks Stantis will follow in lock-step with The Right in getting behind McCain on the Straight Talk Humpfest.
This is merely the last pout, the final sniffled tear to wipe away before Scott falls truly, madly, deeply in love with John McCain.
Posted by CJo at 08:17 AM | Comments (0)February 24, 2008
Stantis Probably Wrote It On MLK's Birthday
Holy crap on a cracker - is today's Prickly City awful.
Where to start? At first I didn't even know how to read this strip and had to skip to the end to figure out what Stantis was trying to do. Starting off with Winslow trying to fly - that's typical for Sundays. But he's actually flying? Then Britney's head pops up? Your eyes are then drawn down to read the caption about how celebrities should be on money - so at first I had no idea what Winslow was doing in the upper right hand corner and why Winslow was ordering people to eat dessert first.
It gets worse from there. A disco joke? Winslow, a coyote who looks like a cat half the time, saying that cats should be in Gitmo? Man, Stantis hit rock bottom and kept digging. This is just horrible on so many levels it's hard to imagine anyone allowing this to be printed in its current form. Yet here it is, wasting space on the comics page.
My mind is a jumble right now. I honestly have no idea how to respond to any of this. Why would a coyote care about cats? His hatred of cats has NEVER been established as far as I know. Is it because he's a coyote, which is part of the canine family? Then why not use that "joke" before? And seriously, is Stantis going to have Liberal Winslow make jokes about Gitmo? Oh no - he's not going to close it down, instead he's going to use it to jail his enemies? What?
On top of that we're supposed to believe that a guy who hasn't gotten a single vote this year and is now an independent is going to have a gaggle of reporters hanging on his every word?
Again I ask: is there one editor out there who can justify why this is still carried in newspapers? Please, I'm begging somebody - anybody - tell me why Scott Stantis should be paid for this. Explain to me why someone who thinks that disco and Britney jokes are still "hip" has a job. For the love of god, someone tell me how a guy who can't even draw a believable cat makes a living doing this!!!
February 23, 2008
Lil' Miss Morality
Time for Scott Stantis to get on his soap box and tell us all how we should live our lives. Looks like he noticed "Knocked Up" and "Juno" on the video rental shelves and decided how sinful it is - sinful I tell you! - that these young people would dare indulge in carnal activities before marriage. I'm sure Mr. Stantis was a virgin when he got married, because he would never ever be that big a hypocrite.
Gotta love conservatives. You'd think Stantis would be happy that in those two blockbusters the parents decided to keep the baby and stay together. But nope - that's not nearly enough. They should have been married first!
Please Carmen/Stantis, please tell us more about how eeevil liberal Hollywood's "moral compass" always points south. Not like the moral compass that conservatives have, which far too often seems to point at a young boy's ass. It's too bad Hollywood doesn't live by the good morality of people like David "hooker" Vitter, Mark "teen boys rule" Foley, Rush "how many wives is it now?" Limbaugh, Newt "you have cancer? Oh - well I want a divorce so I can marry my mistress" Gingrich, and so on.
What makes this strip so delicious is that it's coming on the heels of the revelation that John McCain probably cheated on his wife with a female lobbyist back during the 2000 election. Of course the attention-grabber is the sex part, but the reality is it should be far more damning how much McCain's done for the lobbyists. Mr. Keating Five himself (a story from St. McCain's past the media never really wants to talk about), Mr. Straight Talk Express, has been in bed with the lobbyists for years - only now we're learning it was both literally and figuratively.
And let's not forget that St. McCain openly cheated on his first wife thirty or so years ago, finally settling on a blond named Cindy who just happened to be an heiress whose money has financed the Holy One's political career. What's that you say? You didn't know John McCain cheated on his first wife and then married his mistress? Gee, if I didn't know better I'd think he was one of these Hollywood liberals that Carmen is talking about. Nah, that can't be right. John McCain is a man's man. He's got real conservative values and morals. It's those great morals that make McCain such a great liar.
I hope this storyline never ends. I hope Scott Stantis continues to tell everybody how they should live their lives so they can be good people. Unmarried and pregnant? You're evil. You have no moral compass. You had sex before marriage. Let's take it further. All girls should sign one of those purity oaths that are all the rage for Christians. But saying that won't have sex until marriage isn't enough. We can't let silly little women choose what to do with their bodies - they'll just wear thongs and too-tight jeans and make up. We should wrap them up from head to toe - we shouldn't even see their faces. Scott Stantis can then choose which male should be able to plant his seed in her. But the boy's family should bring something to the table - maybe some goats and a cow or two. Then we'll live truly moral, Christian lives. Right Stantis?
By the way, I haven't seen "Juno." Does she want to get married at the end of the movie? From what I remember "Knocked Up" doesn't end with a wedding. So where is Stantis getting that from? Oh - wait - he's just making shit up so he can make a point. Nevermind. It's that good moral base of his that lets him lie about things so he can act holier than everybody else.
February 22, 2008
Junior, Jr.
Like with his past comical forays into pre-teens in thongs, kickball, and the culture of death, Scott Stantis proves once again that he has his limp dick on the faint pulse of non-trends that are running rampant in our society of disappearing moral leadership.
Does this man even read what his fevered brain compels his hand to scribble?
"All of the hit movies" feature pregnancies and "all kinds of celebrities" are getting pregnant? So Winslow is hopping on the pregnancy bandwagon? Because of "hit movies" and "celebrities?" Pregnancy is a fad?
I didn't realize fads lasted for four fucking billion years.
Posted by CJo at 10:10 AM | Comments (4)February 21, 2008
Pork Hinds
I spent quite a bit of time today trying to tie together Byrd, Frank, and Richardson. There's no common thread, of course, especially when it relates to pork barrel spending. Byrd is known in some circles as the "The Pork King," but as far as I can tell Barney Frank is not known for his pork barrel ways. And, of course, Bill Richardson is a motherfucking governor, so his relationship to this discussion is nill.
But then I finally got the joke. Stantis isn't lumping in Frank and Richardson with Robert Byrd's pork-spending. He's simply calling them fat.
It has been a while since Stantis gave us a fat joke. And it's nice to see that he still has the wit and wisdom of a mildly-retarded teenage boy who struggles with bedwetting.
Posted by CJo at 01:33 PM | Comments (3)February 20, 2008
Jingle Jangle
"I've got a stimulus package in my pants
With a hole in my soul
And a shoe full of shit"
Winston contends
With a fat government check
That all poverty ends
He's mocking, of course
The Texan lame horse
Who came up with this plan of "need"
But he couldn't do it himself
He needed grandma Nan and modern-day saint Reid
Barry, of course, didn't bother to show
Maybe he'll complain that his funds were too low
He's poor just like us!
Nevermind his Harvard degree and mansion
Nor his K Street lobbyists.
Good luck with your hope your spirit
Good luck with your change
Because you're going to need it.
February 19, 2008
NOW Stantis Is Worried About The Deficit
Yes!!! Scott Stantis, fiscal conservative! He TOTALLY nails it today, and it's so hysterically funny too! That silly Winslow thinks that "stimulus" will solve all of the nation's problems, and it's up to Conservative Carmen to remind him that "stimulus" leads to deficits. You go, Stantis! Way to speak truth to power!
It's too bad Prickly City wasn't around in 2001, when this strip would have been bold and daring. I'm POSITIVE that Scott Stantis would have run this EXACT same strip in spring of 2001 when Bush announced that he was going to do the same thing. Stantis would have boldly stood against his fellow Bush Republicans and reminded them all that throwing money at the problem isn't a solution, and it'll just get us deeper into debt. Stantis is known for that sort of daring initiative, right?
On a less sarcastic note, I truly do love how the hypocrites in the Republican party like Stantis come out in droves now that the Democrats are in charge of the Congress (well, sorta - that's a whole nother post). Stantis and the rest of them LOOOOOOVED them some tax cuts and tax rebates back when the Republicans were in charge - they couldn't get enough of them. But now that the Dems are the ones that have to sign off on the legislation, we have to remember that horrible deficit (that was run up under a government completely controlled by the Republicans, but don't mention that part).
It reminds me of John McCain this past Sunday morning. He was talking about how we can save the economy by getting rid of "pork barrel spending." This from the guy whose party gave us the multi-million dollar bridge to nowhere, and preferred to send money for homeland security to little carnivals in Indiana instead of to protect places like New York City. The Republicans rewrote the book on how to waste taxpayer dollars, and now they're the ones screaming about how we have to be fiscally conservative? Please.
Odds are Stantis thinks he's earning some "street cred" when he does a strip like this - oooo, he's going against Bush! What a rebel! The reality is he just reminds us that not only is he a huge hypocrite like the rest of the Republicans in charge, but they're the ones that got us into the mess we're in now in the first place.
By the way, have you noticed how the media and the Republicans refuse to say that the Democrats in Congress are providing a tax break or a tax rebate to the public with this package, and instead always refer to it as "stimulus" like Stantis does today? Guess that's cuz the Dems only raise taxes, they NEVER EVER cut taxes EVER. Isn't that right, Stantis? Must be nice living in that fantasy world of yours. Too bad the media lives there too.
February 18, 2008
Taps
January 10, 2008
FBI wiretaps cut off due to unpaid bills
February 18, 2008
TODAY'S STRIP
And what happened in-between the intervening month and eight days that prevented Stantis from tackling this story?
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February 17, 2008
Wreck
Well, at least it's not another strip obsessed with Bill Clinton's penis.
Today we learn that Scott Stantis doesn't know how to draw a motorcycle. At least I think that's what he's trying to draw - it's hard to tell. It could be a trike. Doesn't really matter - it's hard to look at, and doesn't make much sense.
I mean why is there a chunk taken out of the cactus? Did Winslow drive into it? Why did he drive off a cliff in the first place? What's that yellow stuff on top of the cactus - is that supposed to be Winslow's hair? Why is the front wheel still up in the air? Why am I bothering even asking these questions?
I hate to say it, but there's a part of me that wishes Winslow was still trying to fly instead of this garbage. But then Stantis couldn't use his witty kickstart line. I'm sure people were laughing big hearty laughs this morning over their oatmeal when they read that one.
I guess this means that Winslow is going to continue on his campaign as an independent. There's actually a lot of fertile ground for comedy there - what does he call his party? Who's his running mate? What's his platform? Unfortunately we're talking about Scott Stantis here, so none of it will be funny. We can only hope it doesn't look as terrible as today's strip. At least he's not trying to draw Bill Clinton's vomit anymore.
February 16, 2008
Odds Are Stantis Still Says "WAZZUP" Too
TODAY'S ATTEMPT AT BEING "HIP"
You know how when you go to some big party and there are lots of people you've never met before there's always this one guy who thinks he's funny because he makes references to stuff from ten years ago, even though most of them aren't even right or funny?
Scott Stantis is that guy.
If not for the first panel this strip could have been written in the late 90s. After Carmen gives the first names of some of the presidential candidates that have dropped out (poor Tom Tancredo gets no love), Winslow hits us with a lame, dated, unfunny quip about the Wayans Brothers.
You remember them, right? Keenan Ivory, the oldest one, his younger brother Damon, etc.? They were huge in the 90s.
Reminder: it's 2008.
But wait there's more. When Carmen educates Winslow (because he doesn't even know who he's been running against in the campaign), he drops this "totally rad" line about how now the Wayans Brothers can continue work on their movie...wait for it..."Booty Call 4: The Clinton Diaries."
Yup, Stantis is STILL making jokes about Bill Clinton's penis. He really needs to see a professional about this obsession of his.
But then there's this whole Booty Call thing. I know it's a cheap laugh - "booty call" is one of those goofy things people used to say to be funny. You know, a decade ago. And since there was once a movie with that title, Stantis went back to the last time he went to the movies apparently for this hip, too-cool-for-the-room reference (it came out in 1997, btw).
Couple problems. There was only one Booty Call movie, which should have told Stantis that it wasn't popular enough for people to still remember. That's why most comedians go with a riff on "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" when they reference movie sequels.
The other bigger problem: the Wayans Brothers didn't have anything to do with "Booty Call." It was Jamie Foxx and Tommy Davidson. While they were a part of the "In Living Color" cast with the Wayans family, they are not, in fact, Wayans Brothers.
Is this another case of the Racist Scott Stantis letting his true colors show and that to him "they all look alike?" Or was he just so damn lazy he slapped together this stupid strip and didn't bother to figure out if it made any sense?
Probably both. We all know Stantis is a proud racist. And we also know he's incredibly lazy. Add in his slobbering over Bill Clinton's penis and in an odd, depressing way this is a perfect ending to one of the worst Prickly City storylines ever.
February 15, 2008
There's No Culture That I Spy
I'd like to thank Mister Stantis for his strip today. No, no...I didn't find it amusing at all. But he left me, after that final panel, with a couple of old songs in my head that I hadn't thought about in a while: Pavement's "Two States" and Neutral Milk Hotel's "Two-Headed Boy." This is a vast improvement over the image that CJo left me with yesterday: Jay Leno post-coitus, which of course by its nature makes one reflect on Jay Leno in flagrante delicto, which nobody in their right-thinking mind needs to imagine.
In any case, as much harm as Winston has supposedly endured with his body chock full of heady goodnesses, it appears the real victim here is Carmen. Holy sweet children of men, look at that hair part on her! One is almost made to think that perhaps she's wearing a Cleveland Browns football helmet after viewing that stripe. Alas, judging from the half-loaves she's often trying to sell, she should be the one with twice as many heads.
Posted by Sacki at 10:12 AM | Comments (1)February 14, 2008
He's Always At It
Nothing engorges Stantis' dick more than a heavy dose of Bill Clinton. Stantis never fails to stand to attention when Bill's around. Clinton is probably more reliable wank-off material for Stantis than a Michelle Malkin Google Image search.
This has been going on for years.
For example, how did Stantis imagine Clinton spent Valentine's Day in 1999?
Yes, that's right. By raping "Truth" with a cigar, leaving her defiled, spread-eagled body on the ground, her skirt hiked up; one imagines she has a bloodied nose.
I haven't seen art this classy since Guns-n-Roses' Appetite for Destruction hit the K-Mart shelves.
Sure, I suppose Clinton is fair game these days with his heavy-handed advocacy for Hillary. But isn't it appalling that eight years after Clinton left the White House Scott Stantis still gets in a heat and gets in a sulk, beating his meat to a bloody pulp?
Posted by CJo at 08:57 AM | Comments (3)February 13, 2008
Wouldn't Be Prudent
As The Furnace suggested yesterday, I'm trying to imagine Winston stuck in the belly of Reagan. It's just not working. Can't do it. Because, you see...I think Ronald Reagan changed the trajectory of America in a way that Richard Nixon did not and in a way that Bill Clinton did not. He put us on a fundamentally different path because the country was ready for it. I think they felt like with all the excesses of the 1960s and 1970s and government had grown and grown but there wasn't much sense of accountability in terms of how it was operating. I think people, he just tapped into what people were already feeling, which was we want clarity we want optimism, we want a return to that sense of dynamism and entrepreneurship that had been missing.
Posted by Sacki at 10:20 AM | Comments (2)February 12, 2008
In The Belly Of Ronnie
Oh gee, Scott Stantis is STILL obsessed with Bill Clinton's penis. He's going to spend TWO WEEKS rehashing lame jokes from ten years ago? Not one mention yet of how the Democratic Congress is going to make illegal spying on Americans legal with no chance of investigating what happened because he thinks this is more important?
Here's a little trick to make reading this series a little more entertaining: imagine he's talking about Winslow being trapped inside Ronald Reagan's stomach. Instead of a cigar and a beret, imagine a picture of Fawn Hall and shredded Iran-Contra documents. Instead of a piece of paper with a scribble on it (honestly I have no idea what Stantis tried to write on there, but I'm going to assume it's Vince Foster's death warrant), imagine it's Donald Rumsfeld's bill of sale for WMDs to Saddam. Then as the Winslow's last line insert this instead: "Tastes like Alzheimer's and jelly beans."
Pathetic? Yes. Unfunny? Yes. Just like Scott Stantis.
February 11, 2008
Pile Full of Shit
We give Scott Stantis a hard time about his perceived lack of humor. But I've got to hand it to him today. This is the funniest he's been in a long time. His over-the-top parody of those froth-faced, spittle-flecked Clinton haters from the 90's is dead-on. It sure is fun to look back at those imbecilic rightwing blowhards who beat on Bill Clinton for eights years out of spite and jealousy.
Yes, ha ha ha. Good times those.
But at least we've moved beyond that, right? At least those days are long gone and the froth-faced, spittle flecked imbecilic righwing blowhards have moved on to other targets, right? Like the corruption, spending run amok, and incompetence of the current administration, right? Am I right, people? Am I right?
Anyway, I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again: If our country elects Barack Obama as our next president we will cease publication of Shrubville. It just won't be relevant anymore. Scott Stantis won't be relevant anymore. We will all have moved beyond this. And Stantis can just retire and flit away like a fly to some decomposing turdblossoms in the backwoods of Alabama and live in an endless cycle of regurgitating and consuming the shitpile on which he sits.
Posted by CJo at 09:33 AM | Comments (3)February 10, 2008
You Sir Are No John Anderson
Yesterday's Prickly City ended in a cliffhanger, with an ominous "Continued" at the end of the strip where Winslow was stuck inside Bill Clinton. Since today's strip has him out and about, apparently on Monday we'll return to that riveting storyline where Stantis continues to insult the former president as a child.
So how did Stantis spend his Sunday? Well Carmen reviews Winslow's performance thus far (0% across the board - Tancredo and Hunter must be envious) which leads Winslow to the only obvious course of action: an independent bid. And comic readers across the country sighed.
How this is supposed to be funny is anybody's guess. I doubt this is a dig at Bloomberg and the other village "moderates" who are itching for a third party candidate (and they're pretty much the only ones clamoring for one). Instead it's just a way for Stantis to keep talking about the campaign by having Winslow involved somehow, which is just dumb.
A better idea would have featured Carmen realizing that since Romney is out and the Republican base HATES John McCain that she has a real shot at being the alternative candidate. She could run on the "At least I'm not John McCain" platform, which would probably score her some delegates. Instead the focus is on Winslow again, since Stantis can't dare have his little darling princess the butt of any jokes.
The strange part about this strip is the last image of Winslow and Carmen. Winslow is grinning from ear to ear, happy about becoming an independent. But what's Carmen's reaction? She seems to be smiling too, but since the clipboard is in front of her face there's no way of knowing if she's grinning or grinding her teeth in anger that he's going to continue on his campaign even though he doesn't have money or a staff. I'm guessing the latter, but why put a clipboard in front of her face? Was Stantis afraid he couldn't draw the expression so he covered it up? Some free advice to Stantis: just look at the faces of all the people who read this crap and you'll have a great idea how to draw a grimace.
Posted by The Furnace at 12:36 PM | Comments (0)February 09, 2008
Let's Attack Bill Clinton - As A Baby
There are times when I feel sorry for Republicans like Scott Stantis. They have this sad obsession with living in the past. Reagan is their god, even though his candidacy was filled with corruption and tax hikes (yes, that's right, tax hikes - Republican history forgets that part). He buried us in debt. He's the one who gave Saddam all those weapons to kill his own people. And so on. Republicans are also obsessed with going back to the 50s. Sometimes it's the 1950s, where they forget all about the three recessions and children being taught to duck and cover to avoid a nuclear attack, and instead focus on the make believe world of "Leave It To Beaver" as if that's what really happened. Other times they're obsessed with going back to the 1850s, when negroes and women knew their place. It's a pretty depressing life being a Republican - they still think Saddam had WMDs and ties to 9/11, they still think that tax cuts are the cure-all for any problem, and global warming is a myth. In some cultures they'd be considered mentally disabled - in ours they rule the country.
Then there are other times like today when I'm disgusted by Republicans like Scott Stantis. Oh he's still living in the past - but here his obsession with Bill Clinton and his penis are still on full display. Oh how much Stantis loves the fact that Bill became part of the news while campaigning for Hillary. All of those jokes he's been thinking of since Clinton left office 8 years ago - he finally gets to trot them out as if people still care. Bill Clinton is fat! Bill Clinton is a pervert! Bill Clinton has no shame! It's the "Freebird" of politics - no matter what is actually happening, Republicans can't help but be the dick in the audience that screams out something about how eeevil Bill Clinton was when he was president.
And now that it's been 8 years and he's running out of material to make fun of an adult Bill Clinton, Scott Stantis has to resort to making fun of Bill Clinton as a child. In the second grade he lost his "scruples," even though I'm not really sure what that means. In the first grade he stopped telling the truth. And he was born without shame. That's right - Scott Stantis is making fun of Bill Clinton as a baby. Class act.
Can you imagine anyone daring to make these jokes about their Lord and Savior Ronald Reagan? It would be a bloodbath, and Republicans from all corners of the country would be screaming for that person to be fired and strung up as a traitor who loves the terrorists. But when it comes to Bubba, there are no limits. Say anything you want - it's funny cuz it's Bill Clinton and he had the nerve to be a successful president no matter how many times the Republicans tried to ruin him.
I think that's really the key to their hatred of him. Try as they might, they couldn't beat him. Instead he became a successful president - even more successful than their Lord and Savior Ronnie if you look at the numbers. People around the world love him. There are folks who will vote for Hillary just because they LIKE the idea of having him back in the White House, even if it's just as the presidential spouse. And that burns up neo-cons like Stantis.
Especially since they look back at the last 8 years and see how catastrophic the Bush presidency has been. They can't admit to themselves that Bush did everything Reagan did and more - and he's been a complete and utter failure. Tax cuts to the rich have led to a recession, and what's essentially a birth tax of $35,000 each. We're stuck in wars in Iraq and Afghanistan without end. A housing crisis. A credit crisis. The dollar weaker than ever. More debt than every other president in history COMBINED. Torture is legal. Spying on American citizens is legal. And what Nixon said is true - if the president does it, it's not a crime. What Reagan wanted Bush got - he really is the King. And still the country is worse than it was 8 years ago.
When Bill Clinton was president.
So go ahead, Stantis - keep ripping on Bill. Keep acting like it's the 1990s. Because lord knows for the first time in ages I too wish we were living in the past, when we didn't have a King ruling us and spying on us and taking from the middle class to give to the rich. I think we'd all rather be living in the 90s again. Even you, Stantis. And that's what makes you sooo jealous of the man they call Bubba.
February 08, 2008
I'm In Ur X-Prez
(Where's CJo today? Maybe he's been eaten by Bill Clinton.)
That hilarious Winston, being digested in Bill Clinton's stomach, along with what looks to be:
a suppository (wrong hole!);
a miniature baseball bat (who is Bill's team?);
the Rockford Files (he's never seen the show, he just reads the scripts; he's an Oxford man); and
a copy of the New York Times (now with more Bill Kristol, the journalistic equivalent of olestra).
Seen off-stage, Barry Mohammad Hussein Obama...to the RIGHT of Winston. Super-secret double-probation conservative Obama.
Posted by Sacki at 12:04 PM | Comments (1)February 07, 2008
Super Thursday
Scott Stantis dumb. Scott Stantis not funny. Scott Stantis career go down toilet. *Flush*
Posted by CJo at 10:13 AM | Comments (1)February 06, 2008
Rhyme Time On My Dime
Zero rhymes with hero.
Patootie rhymes with booty.
Super Duper rhymes with Up Your Pooper.
February 05, 2008
What Is That Thing Standing Next To Winslow In The Third Panel?
Credit where it's due: Stantis gets in a nice dig at Guiliani with the "Dakota strategy" reference.
But he doesn't get any credit for the rest of the strip. Part of the blame goes on having to write this a few weeks ago. While it might have looked like Super Tuesday would decide everything back then, it's pretty clear that while the Republicans could finally decide on John McCain (like the media wants) there's little chance we'll know if Hillary or Obama will be leading the Democrats in November.
My real gripe with today's strip is that once again not having a third character ruins the strip. Carmen again acts like an outsider, as if she has nothing to do with this election. So when Winslow gets in the nice joke about the Dakota strategy, why in the world would his campaign MANAGER Carmen think that was a good idea and go along with it? Why is she happy that it all comes down to Super Tuesday, knowing that her candidate is getting trounced (even though just a few days ago Hillary felt it necessary to attack Winslow)? It's just sloppy writing, which goes right along with that third panel, which is some of Stantis' sloppiest drawing yet. Poor Carmen looks like she was drawn but a third grader there.
Here's to hoping Obama wins, if only to end the deep hurting that comes with having to read Prickly City every day.
February 04, 2008
Zip It
The ink wasn't even dry on this comic strip before Bill was yanked back into Hillary Clinton's campaign's pants and zipped-the-fuck-up, only to see the light in special, controlled situations.
I don't want to get too endorsement-y on you'all, but as you may (or may not) have gleaned by reading these pages my colleagues and I have differing opinions of the Democratic Presidential Candidates. The Furnace was an Edwards man. Sacki split his time in a Kucinich/Gravel sandwich. I have been and will continue to be for the big B.O.
And reading Prickly City on a daily basis further seals my vote for Obama. We really need to move beyond this back-and-forth, tit-for-tat, partisan hackery bullshit.
I will put my money where my mouth is. (And this might be great incentive for us all [Ahem, Sacki!] to get out the vote tomorrow and beyond...)
If Barack Obama is our next president, the last entry of Shrubville will be on January 20, 2009.
Make it happen, people.
Posted by CJo at 10:38 AM | Comments (4)February 03, 2008
Bowling Shoe Ugly? How About "Prickly City Ugly"
I'm not sure what's going to be uglier: the Super Bowl, or today's Prickly City.
Who am I kidding - nothing's going to be harder to look at than what Scott Stantis drew today.
Enjoy the game.
(My pick: Patriots by a ton, proving that cheaters do win. Oh and keep an eye on Wes Welker - if he's not catching the ball, he's holding.)
February 02, 2008
It's Always About Bill Clinton's Penis
Things we learned from Scott Stantis this week:
- Hillary is a power-hungry witch
- Obama is a n***** fightin' the man
- Bubba likes sex
This has been another edition of Things We Learned Thanks To Conservative Humor.
Next week:
- Liberals tax and spend
- War is always the answer
- George W. Bush: greatest president evah
February 01, 2008
Tax, Cackle, Donk
Ah, Scott Stantis, you sniggering little prick.
Hillary is a power-grabbing, cackling queen bitch lesbian.
Almost as fucking hilarious as blacks being denied the right to vote.
Posted by CJo at 09:31 AM | Comments (1)
picture courtesy of JB