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January 13, 2008
Edumacation Time With Mr. Stantis
Stantis decides to offer up a little political science this morning in Prickly City. He also thinks that Michigan looks like a hand. Not a hand wearing a mitten, mind you - just a hand.
Guess that explains why he doesn't even try to draw fingers that actually look like fingers.
There are nine panels in today's strip. Three of them are devoted to recapping that Winslow lost in Iowa and New Hampshire. And I thought Stantis was wasteful because he wastes the first panel of every weekday strip recapping what he did the day before. Carmen finally refers to Winslow as "W," which should have sent any real liberal into a rage. Nobody on the left (and half the people on the right) want to share a nickname with Mr. 24%.
Carmen tells Winslow that there's a bright side to being a loser, explaining the situation in Michigan that since they moved up their primary they're not getting any delegates this time around. What she fails to note is that only applies to the Democratic side - the Republican delegates are still in play. Which is why I like kos' idea that Dems should cross over (which is allowed in Michigan) and vote for Willard "Mitt" Romney, so the Republican race remains competitive for a little while longer (the media may want to christen St. McCain and the nominee, but let's make 'em work for it). Since everybody on the Dem side will leave Michigan with the same number of delegates (that's zero, natch), Winslow is suddenly excited again. But he's also so stupid he doesn't know which state is Michigan. Wow, what a wonderful punchline, Stantis. How long did it take you to dream up that one? And how in the world did Winslow know which state Iowa was then if he can't remember the one stuck between the Great Lakes? "It's the one that looks like a cardboard box that's been crushed?"
Which leads me to wonder: did Winslow get any delegates for winning the Prickly City primary? See, it's because of this lack of continuity that it's hard to enjoy the strip. Prickly City should have never had a primary in the first place, since it's not a state. But that didn't stop Stantis from trying to make a month-long storyline about the primary over six months ago. Now that primary season is actually here, it's more convenient to forget about all that and pretend it didn't really count. Why not toss in a line that just like Michigan, Prickly City's delegates don't count either? Then that would mean Winslow would have to stop and realize that all those millions he spent in PC were for nothing, and that his campaign in pointless (remember how Winslow was the frontrunner for a while there because he was the hometown boy? ah yes, bad times). If Stantis actually had a clue how to write for something over the long term instead of pulling stuff out his ass whenever he runs out of other things to bitch about, this might all make sense. Instead, it's a boring, unfunny waste of time.
What makes it even more stupid is that Stantis won't make the effort to look at the calendar to see what holidays are coming up in two weeks, but he knew to time today's Sunday strip so it would coincide with a primary in a state where it doesn't even matter for Democrats. Some awfully strange priorities there, mister.
And yes, I did notice that Stantis is so poor at drawing he doesn't know how to work in Winslow's tie in the first few panels and only tacks it on when Winslow is standing. Also, for some reason Carmen's mouth is almost as wide as her face. But I'm trying not to point out the drawing is so bad, remember?
So does this mean Stantis will devote the week to Winslow campaigning in Michigan? How will he make fun of the people living in that state? Joke that they touch Canada? Forget that the U.P. even exists like he did today? Maybe introduce a wolverine as a new character? How do you think he'll spend the week? Please use the comments section for your guesses, since personally I think Stantis will forget today's strip even happened and whine about something else entirely. Hey, he hasn't made fun of the writers' strike yet...
Comments
Ah, in fairness to Scottie, I've heard so many Michiganders say that Michigan looks like a hand, and that, in fact, it is the only state that looks like a hand. To annoy a Michigander, simply hold your left hand hand fingers down and say "I'm from Chicago, see, by the knuckle of the pinkie"; extend your middle finger and say "I have a friend who lives in Idaho"; hold your hand sidewise and say "last summer is was in Kentucky".
Of course, Michiganders insist on calling buckeyes "peanut butter balls", so what do you expect?
I'm ducking now.
Posted by: Annie at January 13, 2008 03:04 PM
Well, of course Michigan looks like a hand -- any fool could've told you that. But the problem is that Scott Stantis can't seem to get any materials from primary season other than making fun of the most obvious, stereotypical traits of the states in question. Examples:
1. Stantis has Iowans get mad when Winslow says corn is dumb; he later dons a corn cob costume
2. Stantis has Winslow dress up as a syrup bottle for New Hampshire and then complain about how cold it is there
3. Stantis cracks a joke about how Michigan is shaped like a hand
These are all the most obvious, stereotypical things about each state and each joke is so easy that it only serves to demonstrate how uncreative Stantis is being with this series. If he was to continue the annoying trend of dressing Winslow up as the chief product of the state for each Democratic primary/caucus, we might have him dressed as a car tomorrow.
As for the Prickly City primary thing, I was a little confused by that too. As you may have realized, today was our first real indication that Winslow is in fact running as a Democrat (it had never been expressly said before). The Democratic Party rules only allow Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, and South Carolina to hold their primaries/caucuses before February 5. Soall of the other Democratic primaries before that date -- Michigan and Florida -- don't count at all, hence the fact that Obama and Edwards aren't on the Michigan ballot and Kucinich is the only Dem campaigning there.
By this logic, the Prickly City primary should not have counted either. So, Winslow gets no delegates. I don't have a problem with there being a Prickly City primary (a la "Bloom County") but I think there's no way it could count anyway.
It would be just like Stantis to glance at a map and joke that Michigan touches Canada when it doesn't really. However, I think he will spend the week having Winslow campaign in Michigan and Nevada. He will completely ignore the unemployment/layoff issue in Michigan in favor of stereotypical jokes like I mentioned above, and then he will have Winslow go to Vegas and blow the rest of his campaign funds gambling. Penniless, Winslow will become a prostitute and will get picked up by Bill Clinton, leading to Stantis talking about how Hillary lets her marriage get abused.
Posted by: Chris at January 13, 2008 03:22 PM
I'm pretty sure Stantis had Winslow call Hillary a witch in a debate during the PC primary series, so I was going with the idea that he was running as a Dem back then (he also completely ignored the Republicans during that stretch, which he's still done).
Posted by: The Furnace at January 13, 2008 03:33 PM
Oh yeah...I forgot about those debates.
Personally I think that it's a bit of a mistake for Winslow to run as a Democrat. I guess that Stantis did that so he could "cover" the primaries, but there isn't any way that Stantis can carry this on past about June unless he has Winslow be adopted by a third party of some sort.
Where do you think that Stantis will take this, not just over the next two weeks but over this election year?
Posted by: Chris at January 13, 2008 04:03 PM
