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November 30, 2007
Opah!
Ah, yes: Botox -- scourge of our nation. Nothing Hardens the On of the Great Right Hope more than Botox. Remember the whispers and orgasmic moans from the chattering Foxes surrounding John Kerry & Botox back in 2004? The same goes for Hillary Clinton now. Botox is code in RightSpeak for 'self-absorbed, superficial, Hollywood-fawning, elite, effete Liberal." With the simple dropping of the word Botox associated with Huffington's name, Simple Scott hopes simple people and their simple minds will do some simple math and conclude that Huffington simply isn't worth our time. Which is exactly why he spent five days (and counting) on her.
What a clod. What a fraud. What a doddering ass.
Posted by CJo at 08:24 AM | Comments (2)November 29, 2007
It's All Greek to Me
No, Winslow, you retarded little dogshit, you are not going to get any money for blogging at huffingtonpost.com. If you have any further questions, maybe you should consult Wednesday's strip in which your query "...But you don't give any of us bloggers a single penny?" was met with the answer no. Or quite possibly you could go back to the beginning and re-read Monday's strip in which you declared, "I should never have agreed to blog for huffingtonpost.com for free!!!"
It's all another example of Stantis's inability to write a week-long series without repeating the set-up each and every day.
However, we shouldn't overlook the upside of this week so far. Ne pas de Carmen.
It's been glorious without her smug little puss souring the screen.
What does Scott Stantis have against Greeks, by the way? Why hasn't his precious creation Carmen been around to witness Mistress Arianna? Where has Carmen been?
She's not particularly big or muscular, so apparently she's not off breeding athletes under the supervision of Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder. She's not particularly fond of "effete Northeast liberals" so we know for sure she's not hanging out with Michael Dukakis or the ghost of Paul Tsongas. It's an understatement to say she wouldn't be caught dead around the Onassis family. I imagine she'd support the law-and-order leanings of characters played Michael "The Commish" Chiklis, but considering he's a Hollywood actor I don't think she'd spend any time with him. Maria Menounos of Medford, Mass? She's too pretty for Carmen. George Stephanopoulos? No way. Cat Stevens? Uh-uh. Frank Zappa? As if.
Just about the only Greek I can see Carmen spending time with is Alex Karras, as we know he has an affinity for little black kids.
So whilst Winslow is getting spanked by Dominatrix Huffington who has an affinity for mass ass, Carmen and Karras are off "signing adoption papers" or whatever euphemism the kids are using these days.
What a sick and twisted world Stantis imagines. Oh wait. Maybe I imagined that world. Either way: sick and twisted.
Posted by CJo at 07:41 AM | Comments (3)November 28, 2007
Butterfingers
He's really done it this time. Usually I can count on him, even in the midst of a storyline, to veer unexpectedly off-course and present some new angle, but this time...nothing. There's no comment that can be made discretely about today's strip that hasn't been made before, and better than I would make, elsewhere. The points were made. The red challenge flag has been thrown and after further review, it still stands. Fumble.
Posted by Sacki at 09:13 AM | Comments (6)November 27, 2007
Projecting Much, Stantis?
Scott Stantis has some major issues. This week we're exposed to the problems he has with women who aren't afraid to put their opinions out there, and we learn that if Hillary is a bitch, then Arianna Huffington is a dominatrix. Or maybe he sees her as the new Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS, it's not quite clear yet.
Winslow is still blogging for HuffingtonPost.com - for FREE (dun dun DUN!!!). And Arianna is still holding the whip, hypnotizing poor wittle witless Winslow into believing he should write for the site for free while she makes all the dirty filthy money. You see it's wrong for someone to want to make a website and actually make money off of it by offering liberal writers a place where they can write whatever they want, whenever they want, at no charge.
Yeah, the logic Stantis is using is pretty mind boggling.
I'm guessing that Stantis has a real problem with Arianna giving different people an avenue to get their views out there (especially dasterdly liberal viewpoints), but since they volunteer to do it for free while she makes money off the site then she's eeevil. Hmm, a Bush Republican criticizing someone for making a profit? That doesn't sound right.
He might have a point if Arianna really did have to bully people into writing for her site, but if you've ever stopped by HuffPo it's clear that there isn't even enough room for all of the different posters to have their voices heard. And if they didn't post on HuffPo, where would they go to vent about things like the Bush administration or the writers' strike? Why they'd have to start up their own websites - and odds are few people are going to want to read just what one person has to say once every two weeks. Damn you, Arianna, for giving people on the left a platform to voice their opinions!
I think what's really going on here is that Stantis is jealous of how the left has used the internet as a political tool. There isn't anything like HuffingtonPost on the right (maybe Pajamas Media - see below for a rant on that), but they've tried time and time again. The liberal netroots organizations like Act Blue have outraised right-wing internet sites and were a big part of swinging the Congress towards the Democrats in 2006. And I guess for conservative Stantis Arianna needs to be criticized and punished for daring to provide a site that brings together all kinds of viewpoints on the left side of the spectrum - especially since he has his own daily platform WHICH HE GETS PAID TO DO.
Once again, hypocrisy - thy name is Stantis.
(Side note: I thought that it was wrong-wrong-wrong to EVER bring up the gulags when talking about politics these days. When Dick Durbin compared Guantanamo Bay to the gulags he was tarred and feathered by the Republicans. Apparently it's okay for Stantis to refer to them though when trashing HuffPo. Like I said, hypocrisy...)
***
I know I've already rambled on today, but I want to bring up another issue with today's strip. Stantis has Arianna saying that Winslow is better than those commentators who make money off their work. As if bloggers are rolling in the dough on their sites.
First off, wrong. Most bloggers (like us here at the Ville of the Shrub) do it for free. The bigger ones do start making money - but usually it's just enough to keep the site going and maybe, just maybe if you're big enough, to start doing it full time.
Secondly, there's a dirty little secret behind right-wing bloggers. Much like with ring wing publishing, Republican bloggers tend to be supported by what Jane Hamsher has referred to as "wingnut welfare." While the bloggers on the left started out doing it because they were passionate about getting their thoughts and opinions out there, the Republicans realized they were behind the curve and started to subsidize their own websites. The reality is most conservative blogs lose money, but thanks to some deep red pockets they're kept alive and well. Someone like Arianna, who started HuffPo on her own and has made it one of the biggest blogs on the left without the deep pockets of the Democratic party, must piss off guys like Stantis who realize their side hasn't figured out a way to turn a profit (or don't want to turn a profit - they just want to get their talking points out there) or be politically successful on the net.
Or that the only reason their conservative comic strips are in the newspaper is because a funnier, more successful liberal strip is already there and the papers feel a need for "balance." And the only way a strip like, oh, I dunno, Prickly City can stay in the papers is if the writer is paid to continue to spew right wing talking points. Sucks to be you, Stantis.
November 26, 2007
Vhite Power
Besides the Greek-cum-Puerto Rican Shark George Chakiris, that big fat movie about a wedding with the Windex product placement, a lunch or two at Papagus, and the occasional foray into Greek-Style (pizza, alas), I'll admit to not knowing all that much about Greeks and their cultural influence in America. I prefer my cheese to be less flamboyant, retaining a modicum of stereotypical male characteristics. But with that limited knowledge under my belt, I can say without a doubt that today's Prickly City contains the worst approximation of a Greek accent in the history of...well, the entire world.
Accents are tricky, especially when written. He makes Huffington sound like a German with a mouthful of Baklava.
And, of course, the content is just as bad. The Huffington Post doesn't pay its bloggers, who are obviously aware of the arrangement and free to not participate.
Yay.
Let's stretch that into a week's worth of strips.
November 25, 2007
Thanks-ripping off
I guess this is as close as we're going to get to a Thanksgiving strip at Prickly City, where Stantis admits that at times Winslow is drawn to be really fat. All you plump Americans ate too much turkey and now it's time to shame you into losing weight.
But hmm...something seems very familiar about this...one overweight character looking for a quick fix...another more sensible one saying the exact words "you could eat less and exercise more"...then the fat character coming up with all kinds of wacky ways to avoid doing that...
Oh that's right, I saw basically this same strip while reading Bloom County twenty years ago.* Oops. Tribute is one thing, Stantis - ripping off one of the more memorable Bloom County strips ever is pretty low even by your standards.
I immediately remembered Opus going over the list of fad diets he could try, while Milo pointed out he could just eat less and exercise more. If I remember correctly, the whole thing ends horribly with Opus having a vacuum cleaner stuck to his bum as one of the other cast members tries to suck the fat out of him in an attempt at a home liposuction procedure (just like Winslow suggests at the end of today's PC). Ah, yes - reading a comic strip that was actually funny. Those were the good ol' days.
It makes me want to give thanks - for other comic strips that can be funny and political at times. And that obviously does not include Prickly City.
*The Opus/Milo/weight loss storyline actually ran for 12 strips back in the 80s. Amazing that Stantis not only can't milk something with this much comedic potential for more than a single strip, but somehow make it unfunny. Didn't he learn anything about writing a comic strip in twenty freakin' years?
November 24, 2007
There Were TWO Press Releases Yesterday?
Whoa - wait a minute. What the heck just happened?
Yesterday, Winslow corrected Carmen that people on the left now want to be called progressives, not liberals. He handed her a press release stating as much. In the third panel, we see Carmen - who is now holding what I thought was the same press release, reading it for herself. In the last panel, she seems to correct Winslow, saying that the press release says that liberals want to be called puppies, not progressives. Am I the only one that thought that's what the strip was trying to say? Not so much that Winslow is so completely stupid that he mis-read the word "puppies" as "progressives" (although considering how dumbed down Stantis has made him that was an easy thing to believe), but that lefties were so desperate to avoid the term liberals that they would want something even Republicans couldn't make sound bad - puppies.
But now we get today's strip. Apparently Carmen came up with her own press release (wtf?) and that one says that conservatives are the ones that want to be called puppies. All together now: huh? There were two press releases in yesterday's strip? Carmen was carrying her own press release around and didn't tell Winslow first? Or maybe Stantis is pulling the old conservative tactic of blaming the other side of doing what they've done all along, as if the liberals all this time are really the ones that have been demonizing the word conservative. Um, no - people still proudly use that term to describe themselves on the right. Although they usually put the word "Reagan" in front of it.
"Republican," on the other hand, has become a dirty word mainly thanks to what the Republicans have done to this country over the last seven years.
I think back to back these might be the two worst strips written in the history of Prickly City. Not so much for their content, but how poorly they were written. I can't believe I'm the only person that thought yesterday's strip was a joke about how liberals now want to be called puppies. And today we find out that Carmen had her own press release and it's really conservatives that want that term for themselves? Does that make any sense?
As for the meat of the storyline, Stantis is of course making fun of liberals for wanting to be called something different. "Oh how silly you lefties are - if you want to change your name, then we can change ours too. Ha ha ha." Hey Stantis - why don't you call yourself what you really are: a Dixiecrat. You're a Southern conservative who claims not to be a Republican and not to be a Democrat. What's that you say? You don't want to be called a Dixiecrat because it's tied to racist policies? Hey, let's go back to your strips on illegal immigration and take a look at those again...I'm sure nobody would have considered the Mexican Winslow a racist stereotype...
These two strips hinge on one thing: Carmen's statement in the third panel of today's strip. "If you can change what people call you because it's a slur, so can we!" Again I'd like to point out that calling someone a conservative isn't considered a slur. Never really has been. "Liberal" has fallen that far thanks to what the Republican machine has done over the last few decades. As CJo pointed out yesterday folks like Rush and Ann Coulter say "liberal" like it's a dirty word, and the worst thing you can possibly call someone. Do people on the left say "conservative" like it's the most insulting thing possible? Nope. Now if you want to call someone on the right a "Bush Republican," that's a whole other story. I'm starting to use it as a substitute for MF'er.
I will admit the last panel is a valiant attempt at saving this strip (and obviously the punchline that Stantis was trying to build to by even starting this storyline). He has to admit that the Republicans are the ones that killed the SCHIP bill, something that as a "conservative" (I'm guessing that's what he is this week) is ashamed of. The whole "deny healthcare to the kids of working class families" thing - especially since it was originally passed by the Republican Congress under Clinton - is all about supporting the Bush Republicans at all costs, and even Stantis doesn't want to be associated with it. Oops, sorry Stantis, it's your party, it's your conservative movement, this is what you voted for and this is what you're getting. Don't try to run away from it now. Embrace it. Be proud of your "conservative" politics.
And don't sully the names of good puppies everywhere because you're a Bush Republican.
Posted by The Furnace at 08:43 AM | Comments (3)November 23, 2007
A Brand You Can Trust
Over the years, the Conservative Movement has been very successful in branding various aspects of the modern world in their terms. Constant and steady spin gets regurgitated by print and broadcast media. It's a great example of the power of propaganda.
It's been a 50+ year campaign by Conservatives to rebrand the word "Liberal" and, one has to hand it to them, they've finally all-but killed off any positive connotation.
So it's funny when Stantis, who has been a participant in the dirty-ing of "Liberal," pokes fun at the rebranding being done on the other side of the political spectrum.
Of course, if no one owns up to the term "Liberal" anymore, then Scott loses about 72% of his punchlines. And Anne Coulter's books lose what dwindling relevance they once had. And the spittle-flecked screamers at News Corp will have to re-write all their cue cards.
And, God forbid, they'd all have to look beyond the black and white palette they've used to paint with their entire careers. And they'd see a vibrant world out there with nuance and complexity. From the windows of their bedrooms, as they're hiding under the covers, eyes peeking out of an open corner of their security blankets, thumb planted firmly in mouth, rocking gently back and forth, whimpering for mommy.
Posted by CJo at 09:45 AM | Comments (0)November 22, 2007
A Turkey is a Bad Person
Taking deep breaths. Counting slowly to ten. Chanting my mantra ("Serentiy Now").
This is how I'm stopping myself from punching the turkey after reading today's strip.
When most folk sit back and contemplate what they're thankful for, Stantis instead opts to continue his week of stuporous anger over something that never. friggin. happened, using it as an opportunity to sully Hillary Clinton with gobs of fecal matter that he finds in his nearly-empty head.
It's no surprise, though. Stantis is a bastard, especially around the Holidays. In its four years of existence, there has only been one reference to Thanksgiving in Prickly City.
Let's take a look back at the Thanksgiving day strips of yore...
2004...Fresh from gloating over Bush's re-election, Stantis gives us Winslow in a fez talking about Manscaping:
2005...The one time he mentions Thanksgiving, he pushes a turkey off a cliff:
2006...Fresh from the pain over the GOP losing control of Congress and a few weeks prior to undergoing shoulder surgery, he features Carmen all alone, out on a cliff:
Anyway, I'm thankful this post is done, so I can enjoy time with my family and friends away from the miserable world of Prickly City.
November 21, 2007
You've Got To Sass It
Today we find still more high-school level (or perhaps junior-high, kids these days grow up so quickly (although actually they don't, and adolescence lasts through the 30s - heck, our fearless leader was still having "youthful indiscretions" like driving while intoxicated))...today we find more "youthful" pablum spewed forth from the mouths of Winston and Carmen. To do otherwise would require nuance; that and a 527 campaign will get you...unelected. (More time to windsurf.)
In the spirit of the season, however, I'll give thanks that more people are just too lazy to hire a helper monkey to scribble drawerings to attach to their halfwitticisms. If they weren't so lazy, we might see more reductio ad absurdum filling the comics pages. Like these, f'rinstance.
Edwards: Ambulance chaser.
Obama: ,Barack Hussein.
Biden: Plagiarist.
Kucinich: Short, bankrupted Cleveland.
Gravel: Dyslexic unfrozen caveman lawyer.
Richardson: Hablos.
Dodd: Ivory tower egghead.
I look foward to seeing more where that came from. And if you're wondering why no GOP candidates listed, mix and match your favorite candidates with: 9/11, god, guns, osama, defense, defense, defense (yeah yeah yeah), ignoreland.
Posted by Sacki at 09:41 AM | Comments (5)November 20, 2007
Lucky For Richardson He's Not In The Lead
You know, it's hard to take Stantis seriously when he says he's not really a Republican, he's just a conservative who wants the best for America, when he comes up with strips like this. The whole "Hillary is using her being a woman as a political tool" is straight out of the Republican playbook, and Stantis is following it to a "t."
It's funny - I don't remember Hillary ever saying what Carmen/Stantis is claiming. What I do remember is the MEDIA saying she was doing it. Yet I never saw any footage of her saying "the boys are picking on me because I'm a girl" - instead, watching the debate I saw her say that they were after her because she's in the lead. But that's not nearly as good a story, is it?
Come on folks, let's face it: the media is picking the candidates for us, and there isn't anything we can do about it. Take this whole Bob Novak/Hillary/Obama nonsense from this weekend. Conservative columnist/CIA-outing traitor Bob Novak says that some Democrat in Hillary's camp (later corrected to be just some Democrat) says that Obama did something really bad (probably illegal!) in his past but they're not going to expose him - yet. At some point Novak might have reported that behind closed doors Obama called Hillary a doody head after hearing this, but that's unconfirmed as well.
Knowing that the media would pounce on this unsubstantiated sliming with zero proof, Obama made the big mistake of addressing it - making it an even bigger story. "Obama denies doing something sometime that was bad!" Then Hillary responds. All because the MEDIA, not Hillary or Obama, were the ones acting like children.
The really sad part? Much like with the media's framing of the Hillary/I'm a girl non-story, there's one big reason this story has gotten so much attention: in case you haven't noticed, Obama's BLACK. Shiver! See, he's a "strapping young buck" as Reagan would have called him back in the early 80s, so obviously it must be true that he did something bad years ago, because we can't trust the n******. Don't believe me? Boy, most people didn't have a problem accepting the sexist Hillary stuff, did they? And that's just because she's a weak little girl, not a strapping young buck that wants to steal our white women.
The media are one giant fiddle, and the Republicans have played them for years. Racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. are the bows. And too many people in our country are quick to accept what they say as fact and have no clue they're framing the issues in such a way that people think "oh well that makes sense." Joe Lunchpail sees the Hillary story and thinks, "Yup, she's a girl - I wouldn't doubt she's whining about the guys in the race going after her."
Just this morning I was watching CNN and they reported on the Al Jazeera journalist that was taken into custody by the US military back in April 2006 and had yet to be charged with a crime. The news report started by saying he was a journalist accused of a crime, and the military has "convincing evidence" that he was helping with the insurgency. Scary! And oh, by the way, he's been held for a year and a half without charges and they won't tell us what they're charging him with now or what this evidence is. But hey, the media told me that the military said he was bad, so that's good enough for me, right? The media told me that Hillary is using the "I'm a girl" defense, so that's good enough for me! The media told me that Obama did something bad...you know the drill. The message is delivered: you can't trust minorities, you have to elect old rich white men since they know what's best for America. Women are girlish, Blacks are thieves, Hispanics are lazy, Kucinich is too short, Edwards is an evil trial lawyer, blah blah blah. None of the Democrats are good enough to lead us, and the gender and race cards are the ones that get played first. But America's Mayor? He's dreamy. Your media at work, and the public laps it up because most of them don't know any better.
So let's watch Stantis use his 8-year-old girl to explain why Hillary is no better than a grade schooler. He's about on the same level as the "serious" journalists we have filling our TV screens. I mean if Stantis says it, it must be true!
Side note: Would Winslow really wear a hat that says "W the Coyote?" I doubt very much any "Democrat" would want to be associated with that particular letter.
Posted by The Furnace at 08:30 AM | Comments (4)November 19, 2007
Getting Stantis'd
Congratulations, comic strip readers of America! You've just gotten Stantis'd!
After he spent a contemplative Sunday on the nature of facts vs. gossip, on actual truth vs. subjective truth, he opened his big, fat, lying Stantis hand a drew a big, fat lying Stantis strip about big, fat lying Stantis stuff.
At least it's a return to form. THIS is the miserable prick who inspired our loathing. THIS is the asshole who deserves our eternal scorn.
I didn't miss him, per se, but I was starting to feel bad piling on the hollowed-out cadaver he had become.
Posted by CJo at 10:05 AM | Comments (1)November 18, 2007
Truth Is What Stantis Makes Of It
You have GOT to be kidding me.
Today's Prickly City hinges on a recent survey that says gossip is more powerful than truth.
Problem. I don't think any such survey exists.
Sure, back on October 16th there was a STUDY conducted that came to that conclusion, but reading through the STUDY I think it's pretty clear why this wasn't huge news. First, it's kind of a "duh" finding - people in general seem to want to think the worst of others, and we tend to put more weight on the first thing we hear compared to the truth that follows (see: "Iraq; reasons for invasion" for an example). Not exactly earth shattering news there.
But how important is this study? Let me put it this way: how seriously would you take a news story that starts "Researchers found that a bunch of students playing a video game..." No wonder this wasn't a big headline grabber.
But that's what Stantis bases today's strip on. Not just the strip, but some lame philosophical argument that truth is somehow subjective (which seems to be a major conservative belief as of late, especially Giuliani - the guy hasn't found a lie about his record he couldn't tell, but I'm sure in his mind it's the truth). Stantis' whole premise is built on what a bunch of college students playing a video game did to each other in a virtual world. In London.
Is this another case of Stantis' editors changing his words? Did they think "survey" would be seen as more legitimate than a "study?" It sure would be pretty damning if there was a survey of Americans that asked, "Which is more powerful - gossip or truth?" and a majority chose gossip. Or did Stantis see a headline, not even bother to read the story and realize how goofy it might sound, and then think "gee, I could make a strip out of this and get people think I'm smarter that I really am?"
What I love is how Stantis has Winslow (not Carmen, of course) say that "truth is now OFFICIALLY subjective." Based on a bunch of kids. Playing a video game. In London.
He gets paid to do this.
Visually Stantis at least takes some time to be creative, but is it just me or is the writing really small? Not exactly pleasing to the eyes. And are those supposed to be dinosaurs in that one panel? Huh?
I guess none of it really matters, since in the end the message is clear: Stantis sucks. That's not the truth and it's not a fact - it's just my opinion. But I think it's one most people would agree with, and I don't need a survey to figure that out.
Posted by The Furnace at 10:45 AM | Comments (0)November 17, 2007
At Least We Learned Winslow's Parents Are Alive - And Now Homeless
Yup. Best darn system in the world. Unless you listen to the World Health Organization.
Don't get me wrong - I do think that the U.S. provides some of the best healthcare in the world. We've got great doctors and our technology is top notch. But what good is it if you go into debt the rest of your life if you don't have insurance and suffer some kind of injury or illness?
Today's PC finally brings that up, but after such a confusing an unfunny week it's hardly enough to salvage things. And Stantis tries to have it both ways - he spent part the week criticizing universal healthcare (huge lines, tons of paperwork, lazy doctors) - only after saying we already have that - then today says that while we have the "best darn health system in the world" but also points out that nobody but the drug and insurance companies are saying it's perfect.
Altogether now: what?
Here's a little tip for you, Mr. Stantis: learn how to use the English language. Then take your time to figure out your position on an issue, and use that newfound linguistic ability and state your position clearly and concisely. Something you have yet to do in this comic strip.
Here's where I stand: I think our health CARE is top notch. I think our health SYSTEM is an abomination due to out of control costs.
Here's where you seem to stand: You think our health care is top notch. And you think our health system is the best in the world. But only the insurance and drug companies think it's "perfect."
Do you see where the average person might have a problem understanding you when you talk about of both sides of your mouth? Or maybe you do really think that our healtcare system is awesome and paying outrageous hospital bills is just a tiny nuisance that's keeping it from being perfect. Must be nice living up in that ivory tower of yours.
In other news, Stantis apparently needs shoulder surgery again. I don't know that for a fact, but after looking at the second and third panels of today's strip it seems obvious. Especially that last one - is that supposed to be Winslow? Why is Carmen's face so tiny? And why doesn't he make her bald except for the pigtails considering how big her part has gotten?
But really it's not all bad news: if this past week's storyline accomplished anything, it showed how piss-poor the conservative argument is against universal healthcare. Thanks Stantis for clearing things right up - that you don't have a clue where you stand on the issue, and really have no place commenting on it until you do.
(PS: !Rump 8 Gig!? Where the first exclamation point is upside down? What does that even mean?)
Posted by The Furnace at 09:35 AM | Comments (5)November 16, 2007
How Stantis Views Doctors
Believe it or not, CJo is out sick today. He's only got a cold (well, and a hangover) but he really should go to the hospital, because according to Stantis he'd be given a private room and all the attention he needs without waiting in lines or filling out paperwork. Well, at least according to Stantis the last two days - on Wednesday that's what Winslow was complaining about and kicked this storyline into high gear in the first place. Sigh.
Today we get another "if government ran healthcare" strip, this time featuring doctors (one of whom is smoking) who are lazy construction workers taking a break on the taxpayer's dime. Amazing that Stantis thinks that as soon as we take healthcare out of the corporations' power that doctors will become slackers only cashing a paycheck. He has such a high opinion of our nation's healthcare providers.
(Sidenote: how awesome would it be if Stantis went in for his annual check up and his doctor had this strip framed on the wall? I can just picture the doc now, pulling on his gloves and saying "So, you think I'm a lazy bum only in it for the money, do ya? Bend over and cough, bitch.")
I might understand Stantis' argument if he had actually written a storyline that made sense. Winslow went to the emergency room (the one place where they have to provide medical care if it really is an emergency - heck, even President Bush claims that's providing healthcare for everybody). There he had to deal with long lines and filling out paperwork.
The next day he's in a private room where everything is apparently perfect. No long lines, no paperwork like you get at the DMV and at the airport. You never have to deal with that at corporate hospitals. Same thing today - all the healthcare you need is just an emergency room away, apparently.
My big question: will Stantis address the COST of all of this tomorrow? I don't know how Winslow has healthcare - as it was pointed out in the comments the other day, the only way he might is if Stantis resorts to saying that his role on Prickly City is really a job and the newspaper is providing him with healthcare. But that wouldn't really make much sense (yeah, I know, we're talking PC here).
All I can say is that I don't have healthcare, and considering the cost of the medication I bought yesterday I might as well just start buying crack because it would be cheaper and probably just as effective. Let's see if Stantis has the balls to tackle the real issue in all of this - AFFORDABLE healthcare.
Oh and I just remembered something - isn't Winslow described by Stantis as a coyote "pup?" Is this somehow a reaction to the S-CHIP debate? If it is, then this storyline is even worse than I thought. Aye carumba.
One more thing - the guys who work on roads in my town are a part of IDOT, or the Illinois Department of Transporation. Not the USDOT. Do we have federal road crews? I didn't think so, much like was pointed out by another fine reader about the STATE run DMV yesterday. Geez Stantis, can't you get your act together and make a cogent argument about ANYTHING?
November 15, 2007
Back to the Future of Europe
Ah, yes. What a nightmare a "European-style socialized medicine plan" would be. Can you imagine the long waits one would have to endure? Can you imagine the forms one would have to fill out?
Why try to fix a system that works so well?
As anyone who has been to the doctor in the last twenty years or so can attest, there is absolutely no. waiting. involved. There are no forms to fill out, neither at the doctor nor with the benevolent insurance carriers.
And let's not even talk about the monetary cost of it all. Because it's not relevant! At all!
In fact, I, myself, don't even have to go to the doctor's office. He comes to me. He pulls up to my house in a rusted-out Chevy. (His Porsche is in the shop.) At first, I was reluctant to let him treat me. He was from the big city -- Hollywood, in fact -- and he didn't seem to share my same folksy, small-town values. But once he won over old Dr. Hogue and then fell for our town sweetheart, Lou (a woman), I started to warm to him. Now he's one of my dearest friends as well as my doctor. And he doesn't charge me a dime.
I'd like to see THAT happen in France. Jamais, mes amis. Jamais.
Posted by CJo at 09:07 AM | Comments (12)November 14, 2007
Ad Nauseum
After a moment of reflection, and then a long shower, a couple of Hot Pockets, a train ride into the office, a cup of coffee, a reading of the emails, and then a quick peek at today's entry in this facocta storyline, I recalled reading a few weeks back about the dental crisis in, of all the easy set-up, knock-down-joke places, England. State-run health care is leaving 10% of the population without a dentist! The horror! But wait, what's the news here in the good old American dental industry? (Please to be noting that it is not a profession, an art, a craft, or a calling here, but rather an industry.)
With dentists’ fees rising far faster than inflation and more than 100 million people lacking dental insurance, the percentage of Americans with untreated cavities began rising this decade, reversing a half-century trend of improvement in dental health.Previously unreleased figures from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show that in 2003 and 2004, the most recent years with data available, 27 percent of children and 29 percent of adults had cavities going untreated. The level of untreated decay was the highest since the late 1980s and significantly higher than that found in a survey from 1999 to 2002.
Thank you, sir. May I have another - cavity?
The dental profession’s critics — who include public health experts, some physicians and even some dental school professors — say that too many dentists are focused more on money than medicine.
Sweet. But not too sweet, need to keep those chompers chompin.
Dr. Caswell A. Evans, a dentist and associate dean at the University of Illinois-Chicago, said dentists must stop fighting efforts to expand care to patients they are not currently treating. The system is failing many patients, he said.“Right now we have a double standard of care,” Dr. Evans said. “Some people can get it and some people can’t.”
Hey, that sounds just like the GOP policy these days: I got mine. Gives one the fever chills, it really does.
Posted by Sacki at 09:32 AM | Comments (3)November 13, 2007
Tackling The Real Issues Of The Day
Wow - can you believe how politically charged today's Prickly City is? In one single strip, Stantis tackled such current and pressing issues as the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, the new attorney general, the issue of waterboarding, and the attempts at starting a war with Iran all in one amazingly hysterical yet insightful strip. This is what political commentary on the funny pages is all about.
Oh, wait - seems as though there was some obscure story in some science journal about flesh eating bacteria the last week of October. That's much more inspiring to Stantis than actually commenting on politics, which is what I thought this strip was supposed to be about. My bad.
Leaving aside the stupidity and attempts at easy jokes in what's apparently going to be a week-long exercise in lameness (oh gee, ANOTHER Winslow-in-a-thong joke), I'd like to take a moment to point out once again how horrible Stantis' artwork is. Did he outsource that last panel? Because that sure doesn't look like Carmen OR Winslow. Also gotta love how Winston's arms are super long one minute then short the next. And what's up with Carmen's eyebrows in that first panel?
Sure, some people will give today's strip a pass because there's a joke about how gay and French Winston is because he wears speedos. Hardy har har. But honestly, I'm getting a little tired of not getting a chance to criticize Stantis and his pro-Bush politics. There isn't much fun to be had in ripping on Stantis for his bad habit of plucking obscure stories and polls and studies out of the news and acting as if they're fertile ground for "comedy." Get back to the politics, so we can get back to caring enough to criticize the strip.
***
Make sure to check out the new site from regular commenter Chris, Tumbleweedtown. Another heaping helping of Prickly City criticism, and probably less softcore porn than I'm accusing of putting up on this site (come on, it was a picture of Kristen Bell in her underwear. It's not like she was naked).
November 12, 2007
Junk in the Trunk
Patriot Extraordinaire Scott Stantis celebrates Veterans Day (Observed) with a somber reflection on the tremendous sacrifices the U.S. Armed Forces have made in service to our great nation.
Er. Um. Uh.
With a tingle, a nibble, a chomp and an urp, Winslow's ass ate itself from the inside.
Thus endeth the strip. And this post.
Posted by CJo at 08:47 AM | Comments (6)November 11, 2007
Prickly City! / Something That's Funny And Well Written!
Ha ha ha ha ha. I love it when a right wing tool like Stantis offers up his idea of what yin and yang/this and that/positive and negative are in the world. I think it reveals a lot.
Seriously - CNN is to the left what Fox News is to the right? Has he even watched CNN this year? They've been just as right wing toolie as Stantis. Outside of Jack Cafferty their networks are filled with Republican apologists, most obviously Glenn Beck and his ratings bottom scraper of a show on Headline News. Now if Stantis had offered up MSNBC I might have understood - even the New York Times fell into the trap of trying to say they're a "liberal" news network (by suggesting that Chris Matthews of all people is a liberal, right alongside admitted leftie Keith Olbermann, who's the only man with the balls to have a show that actually criticizes Bush and the Republicans on a daily basis that isn't on Comedy Central).
But CNN? Am I to believe that Wolf Blitzer is the mirror image of Brit Hume? Come on, Stantis - maybe you would actually learn a thing or two about the stuff you're ranting about before throwing it out there because Bill O'Reilly told you CNN was part of the looney left conspiracy to dominate our "liberal" media.
From there Stantis proceeds to lecture us as to how wrong it is to classify things as either right or left - "self-made boxes can get pretty snug." This from the man whose ENTIRE CAREER is based on saying how he and his friends on the right are correct on everything and everybody on the left is wrong. Maybe that's a typo, and Carmen was supposed to say "self-made boxes can get pretty SMUG," because that's how Stantis has been during his run at Prickly City.
What's awesome is that by Stantis saying "Right/Left" and "Surge/Withdrawl," he confuses his own point by starting things off with "Fox/CNN." By putting CNN is his own self-made box and classifying them as on the left side of things he's only showing the tiny ignorant box he's made for himself - a box that only has access to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and BillO for his "news" and "insights." Way to go, Stantis - even when you think you're making a good point, you're not and wouldn't know reality and truth if it bit you on the ass.
Unless the point is that you're a biased Bush Republican who always thinks you're right and everybody else is wrong. If that's the case, Mission Accomplished.
November 10, 2007
Tastes Like Unfunny
I don't really "get" today's Prickly City, but then again I haven't understood most of what Stantis was trying to say this week with the return of Kevin the Lost Bunny/Rabbit of the Apocalypse.
Is encouraging Al Gore to run supposed to instill fear in Republicans like Carmen, or everybody? Because I know there are a lot of people out there - including myself - that would prefer Al to anybody else currently running. I mean who's scarier, Hillary, Giuliani, or Gore? Maybe Stantis is trying to say that Al is the one really running a campaign of fear, trying to scare people into accepting that global warming is happening (well, Al and the vast majority of scientists in the world). But what's scarier - Gore warning us that our planet is headed down a scary path, or Giuliani with his finger on the trigger?*
Then there's the confusion over what the heck "secret batter" is supposed to be.
With Carmen's resorting to violence once again to get her way, it seems as though the Kevin storyline is (thankfully) coming to a close. Nothing like a character nobody liked in the first place to show up again and kill a week of strips with non-sensical ramblings that should have run during the week of Halloween. Does this mean Stantis will FINALLY address some issues that people really care about? Or is he going to waste a week on O.J.? Who knows, who cares - we all know it won't be funny.
*Right now the scariest person in the country to me is Diane Feinstein. I don't like to use the word "bitch" very often, but I think her actions the past month qualify her for the title.
November 09, 2007
L'Eggo My Bunny
This guy's ear is so tin. (How tin is it?) This guy's ear is so tin his last name contains the two letters "Sn" that represent the element Tin on the periodic table of chemical elements.
This guy's ear is so tin he probably thinks the above sentence flowed like Shakespeare's corpse down the Thames on a windy day.
At any rate, the opening line of today's strip was particularly offensive to my ear, which I consider the non-tin variety:
"Kevin, Lost Rabbit of the Apocalypse, I don't want a campaign of the Politics of Panic."
Gadzooks, that's a clunky piece of dialog.
And two panels later we are treated to, "Man, you are such a girl..."
Simply awful stuff.
But don't let me turn this solely into a discussion of PC's dialog.
The art is terrible, too, of course. Especially Angry Carmen.
And, of course, the overall political comment rings absolutely false coming from the bell of Stantis. He wants to be inspired? He doesn't want to be afraid? This is coming from the same guy who made it his life's work to demonize the Kerry/Edwards ticket in 2004 into oblivion?
Scott Stantis leggo of reality a long ago. It's time newspaper editors leggo of this steaming pile of strip.
Posted by CJo at 09:21 AM | Comments (1)November 08, 2007
Easy Bunny
He's an easy bunny. 'Fore you know it you'll be on your knees. (You'll be on your kneeees.)
Kevin the Lost Bunny and/or Rabbit of the Apocalypse and his Motley Herd of Bang Bunnies are off spreading fear, their legs, and fluffy little gonorrhea. They are also swinging high, low, left, right, inside, outside, upside-down, and any which way but loose.
What a special treat for our nation's comic-reading youth to come across this comefest of filthy, dirty, slutty, ass-grabbing bunnies who fuck like Bobby Peru.
If exclusive, behind-the-scenes, paid subscriber, bonus access to the upcoming panels of this storyline was made available, one might learn that we're going to be filled in on the backstory of Prickly City, which was once a boomtown, and now merely a boom, boom, boom let's go back to my room town and is actually located in the Wide Stance state of Idaho, which culminates in the first public endorsement of Larry Craig for President. With Winslow as his running mate, of course, and a Supreme Court packed ass-to-cheek with bunnies.
Barring that unexpected release of classified materials, however, we're merely going to have a whole lotta uninspired drivel to look forward to in the coming days, weeks, months, & godhelpus years. So, please, if you have occassion to toast to our health, toast to our fuck, as well. We'll need it.
Posted by CJo at 09:48 AM | Comments (1)November 07, 2007
Quadraphobia
Every four years the phobias have to be cranked out. So says whatever's the current name of this frickin' bunnicula. You know what'd spook me? If he used "quadrennial" to refer to a 4-year cycle. And why would a rabbit be out spreading fear, anyhow, when he's got lots and lots of fucking to accomplish? I propose that this one must be retarded; he is in Prickly City, after all, instead of somewhere living off the fat of the land, like a good small bunny.
Posted by Sacki at 10:39 AM | Comments (3)November 06, 2007
She Who Smelt It...
My first thought when reading today's Prickly City: what are those scribbles behind Carmen? Stink lines? At first it looks like she's whoooshing into the frame ("Hurry - ask Kevin a question!") but then it's like a dust cloud in the last frame. Odd.
As for the strip, Carmen/Stantis wonders why Kevin is resorting to the politics of fear. It's as if he wasn't around in 2004. Democratic candidate Winslow is of course freaked out, much like the rest of the candidates in the current "race" (I like to put race in quotes since the media has already decided Hillary and Giuliani are the candidates - why bother voting when they know what's best?).
I must admit that Kevin does look really evil, which is one of the few positive things I've had to say about Stantis' drawing ability. Too bad it's a week after Halloween, when having a scary character like that would have been fitting. And too bad it's in a strip where Carmen's weight fluxuates more than Oprah's.
You know what this strip needs? MORE STINK LINES!
That'll fix it.
November 05, 2007
Silly Bunny
Oh, mercy mercy me.
Guess who's back.
And, wouldn't you know it, Scott Stantis can't even successfully bring a character back to life from his own archives.
Last time he was around and predicting doom, it was Kevin the Lost Bunny of Apocalypse. Today, it's Kevin the Lost Rabbit of Apocalypse. Sure, it's a relatively small boner but it's not the size were concerned with, it's how he uses it. Or something like that. It's just another example of the half-assed-ed-ness that typifies Stantis's output.
I'm also amused by the bits of data Kevin throws around to illustrate the End Times:
War! Sure, I can see that. War is not a good thing.
Terror! Of course. No one likes to be scared.
Global Warming! I didn't realize Scott was embracing the concept yet, but sure...This is something that concerns people.
Subprime Loans! One could make a strong case for this. It is -- economically-speaking -- troubling.
Obesity! If there's one thing besides thongs that Stantis has a boner for, it's obesity. (A boner boner, not a mistake boner.) I'm not sure if obesity -- "epidemic" or no -- is a sign of the Apocalypse. But I'm not sitting here with a raging hard-on thinking about the girth of our country.
Gas! Curious choice. Is he worried about flatulence or the stuff that we put in our cars to make them go. And if he's talking about fuel, I suppose he's more concerned with the "High price of" rather than just the overall concept of gas.
Health Care! Huh? Again, I think the concern is over that "Lack of Affordable Health Care, especially for children," rather than the general concept of "Health Care." But, in Stantis's case, who friggin' knows.
Posted by CJo at 09:25 AM | Comments (1)November 04, 2007
Another Open Letter To Scott Stantis
Dear Mr. Stantis,
For several years now we here at Shrubville have been criticizing your work on the conservative comic strip Prickly City. Originally it was in response to your radical pro-Bush Republican politics - not just the silliness that's natural when it comes to supporting Bush, but because you weren't funny while supporting this administration.
But over the last year or so our criticisms of Prickly City have been as much about your ability (or should I say inability) to draw. How many years have you been a comic strip artist, Mr. Stantis? Why is it you seem to be digressing in your abilities every day instead of improving? Then again maybe you're following the lead of your idol George Bush, who somehow, some way, despite the odds, becomes a worse president every day - and he's been the Worst President In History for some time now.
Today's strip is one of the worst yet. A surprisingly obese Winslow (both he and Carmen have major weight issues - one day they're fat, the next skinny) is typing away on a laptop - not terrible, but I'm starting to wonder if fat Winston is a replacement for skinny Winslow. The hand reaching out of the monitor isn't terrible, although it's hard to tell why it's choking Winslow - is it the telecom industry illegally spying on us, and attacking the poor coyote for wanting to know about celebrities? Things clear up a bit - I think - when Winslow's head turns into a balloon and the monitor-hands want to "pop" him, giving us Carmen's punchline. Not one of your worst, I must say - even kinda clever. At least based on Prickly City standards.
But it doesn't matter how good the punchline might be. Your inability to represent Winslow's head as popped is one of the most atrocious, lazy, stupid things I've ever seen. At first I thought that instead of a pin the arms reaching out of the monitor had dissected poor Winslow's head, cutting it down the middle and splitting it open to remove Winslow's brain, which is nowhere to be seen. But no, that doesn't make any sense - he was a balloon a minute ago and Carmen is making a joke about pop culture. So is that what happens when things "pop" in your world, Mr. Stantis? They divide down the middle and separate like a Transformer? Oh, and Winslow's suddenly skinny again. And Carmen has some kind of worms trying to crawl out of her hair.
We all understand why you still have a job - you're a conservative, and since "liberal" newspapers are so liberal they feel the need to carry your strip for "balance." Lord knows there are probably better conservative strips out there (then again, maybe not - conservatives don't exactly have a great sense of humor for some reason), but if they dared yank you without pulling a left-leaning strip you and your Republican buddies would raise holy hell. So rather than give the public something good, we get stuck with the crap you churn out every day.
But please, do us all a favor: take some drawing lessons. Maybe all you need is a refresher course. Or find someone to start drawing the strips for you. Heck, I'll bet they even have some good ideas and could even write a few of the strips. Maybe even take Prickly City off your hands for good. Because it's become extremely obvious that you could care less about Carmen and Winslow anymore. You don't care about consistency in your storylines. You do zero research other than watching Sean Hannity and listening to Rush. And you've lost any desire to draw something original or even makes sense (I'm surprised we didn't get even more days of Winslow standing behind a podium this week - that was sooooo riveting from a visual standpoint).
So I'm asking you, as one of the few people who takes the time each day to read Prickly City, either learn how to draw and write or find someone else who will. Because at this point you're not just annoying, you're pathetic.
Best regards,
The Furnace
(written not dictated)
November 03, 2007
The New Hitlers
Nazis. Communists. al Qaeda. MoveOn.org.
Move over, big nasties - the Republicans have found a new evil enemy. And this one's ALREADY IN AMERICA!
Yup, much like the President on Wednesday, Stantis sets his sights on that terrifying new threat to our way of life, MoveOn.org. However, I don't really think Stantis - again, much like the President - actually knows WHAT MoveOn is and what they do, other than they're liberal and on the internets so they must hate America.
If he did know anything about them, Stantis might have realized how stupid it is to say they would donate $2 million to Winslow's campaign. Using this conservative blog post as a reference, MoveOn hasn't even given a quarter of that in donations yet this year - and that's spread out over the presidential and congressional races. Obama's gotten $30,000, while Hillary brings up the rear with a piddly $5,000. Kind of a stretch to think they would donate $2 million to a candidate like Winslow. But what do I know, I'm not some big time conservative cartoonist who only keeps his job because I'm a Bush Backer.
I find it interesting that Stantis himself took the time to reflect on what happened this week - saved us some time here at Shrubville. It's almost as if he knew we'd end up doing it ourselves, trying to figure out what the heck he was talking about all week - like we have to do at the end of most weeks.
Question: how did Winslow come across like a Ron Paul wannabe?
But the big point of this "comic" was to bash MoveOn by having them give Winslow money, but not explain why. Of course the real joke is that Stantis didn't know why, and didn't want to spend any time trying to come up with a legit and funny reason, so we get Carmen's lame punchline. There's actually a lot of logic at work in their donations, Stantis - and it involves supporting the candidates they think have the best chance at defeating Republicans in the 2008 elections. But you wouldn't know that because I'm betting you don't even know what MoveOn.org is - you just heard Rush, Hannity, and W bashing them so you thought it would be cute to bash them too. Welcome to the party, pal - you're about two months late.
Next up: the menace that is Keith Olbermann!
November 02, 2007
Stupider Than Dumb
Each time I read this strip (and I've read it at least six times already this morning trying to find the merest thread to begin discussion), I read "the feeling of Lindsay Lohan" instead of the "freeing" of as one of Winslow's planks. But that probably speaks more to your humble correspondent's frame of mind rather than Scott Stantis's.
As for Scott's mind? It's on auto-pilot, as it has been and as it shall be forevermore. Repeat, rehash, regurgitate, restupider than redumb.
Posted by CJo at 07:16 AM | Comments (2)November 01, 2007
Ann Coulter Returns FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE
Talk about your Halloween leftovers...
John Edwards Hair Joke + Homosexual Gag = Rotting Corpse of Ann Coulter
Somewhere, John Wayne's brain is rife with maggots.
Happy All Saints' Day, Scott Stantis. You're all saint, buddy.
Posted by CJo at 07:31 AM | Comments (2)
picture courtesy of JB