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September 22, 2007
Don't Go Dragging Larry King Into This
Subtlety, thy name isn't Stantis. Apparently our boy Scotty must have had a birthday or just got his Social Security retirement info from the government, because he sure is pissed off at the baby boomers (of which he claims he isn't one, although I'm guessing he only missed the cut off date by a few years***). It's given us a great view inside the mind of a bitter conservative who, rather than make things called "jokes," has decided to gross out his audience and then make bizarre platform statements as if everybody should know they're true.
There's just something sickly twisted about how conservatives view the world. According to Stantis the baby boomers are the most "self-absorbed" generation, whatever that means. Guess he hasn't checked out the latest batch of X-Box kids coming down the pipe, or the Gen-Xers before them. Yup, the folks that fought the Viet Nam war and who have worked since high school are self-absorbed. Isn't that a great slap in the face? A guy who draws terribly and can't write a joke for a living is telling my Dad, who fought in Nam and has worked in the same job for the past 40 plus years, is a selfish fat pig who wears a diaper and a ponytail.
Hey Stantis, have you even LOOKED at who the readership of newspapers is nowadays? You think it's the kids? Ha ha ha ha ha!
But nope - Stantis can't be stopped to think! He's got too many people to insult! Because, dontcha know, these lazy baby boomers don't want to work anymore (after they've worked from age 18 to 65, since this first round of retirees didn't really go to college)! How dare they pay into something for 47 years and ask to get that money back to support them in their old age?! Ingrates! Nope, now that Social Security is nearly bankrupt they expect their kids to be the ones working! I mean, it's not like the boomers worked to support their parents, did they? Oh, wait, they did?
And wait a sec - why is Social Security going bankrupt? Ohhh...Bush cut taxes for the rich and had to borrow from SS to do it. Hmm. So how exactly can we blame that on the baby boomers again? Don't worry, Stantis doesn't care about little things like "facts" - baby boomers are self-absorbed pigs and that's that.
I'm just wondering where the heck Stantis got it into his head that Boomers are fat, gross, disgusting, selfish assholes that are greedy pigs only thinking about themselves. Where is that coming from? Because they want their money back that they paid into the account? Because they lost the Viet Nam war? I wonder if that's part of it - if they had won Nam, they would "deserve" their SS retirement, but since they're "losers" they shouldn't get a dime. Can't wait for Stantis to tell that to the guys fighting in the Middle East right now. "Sorry boys, you did your best and it's the government and the politicians that lost this war that we should have never started in the first place, but since you didn't really "win" you don't deserve to retire, you selfish pigs." Sounds bizarre, doesn't it? But that's how Stantis sounds to me when he goes after my parents like he did this week.
I also love the little tack on at the end about Carmen saying she'll never be able to retire. Because, dontcha know, SS will be bankrupt in 2040! Or 2056! Or 2028 - they keep changing the year. Doesn't matter - kids today can never retire! Except, of course, that whenever that year Republicans say SS will be "bankrupt" actually means that the system won't be able to pay out 100% of what it owes - more like 80%. Not exactly bankrupt, but don't tell the Bush Republicans that. Can't let pesky little things like facts get in the way, can we?
Oh, and when did Larry King ask to retire? From the looks of it (meaning: Larry King has looked exactly the same since I was a kid twenty years ago) Larry wants to keep working. And I say good for him. I say if you love your job, keep doing it until you can't anymore.
Unless you're Stantis - if you love your job, the best thing you can do for the rest of us is quit right now.
***UPDATE***
I just pulled up Stantis's wikipedia entry. According to them, Stantis was born in 1959. A Baby Boomer is defined as a person born between 1946 and 1964.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Scott Stantis is a Baby Boomer.
Talk about your self-loathing.
Comments
I've figured it out. Only Liberals can be baby boomers, see. Stantis, Bush, Cheney, et al., by definition, cannot be baby boomers because they are conservatives, and we all know that conservativers are not greedy (unless we're talking about tax cuts, or tobacco and agricultural subsidies). Done and done!
Alternatively, maybe Stantis is going to come out and support Obama or McCain, the least baby boomer of all of the presidential candidates.
Posted by: Annie at September 22, 2007 12:35 PM
I agree with everything that has been said here today, so instead of repeating it, I'll add something of my own to the discussion:
The punchline is so damn clunky. Read that last panel aloud. It is so contrived I couldn't believe that Stantis actually published that version of the punchline.
"You'd figure it out at retirement, which will be at age...uh...dead! After the Boomersyour retirement age is dead! Aka the Larry King conundrum..."
Good lord, Stantis already writes unfunny punchlines, but this is the first time that I've thought the punchline also was clunkily written and actually felt like an unfinished version.
Posted by: Chris at September 22, 2007 04:03 PM
