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July 28, 2007
Swift Boat...Swift Coat...Swift Doat...Swift Goat! (This Has Been Another Installment of "How Stantis Does Comedy")
Wait a minute - that's it??? After three days of the Swift "Goat" Veterans for Truth it's dropped like a rock in favor of a lame, told way too many times joke about shaking a baby and kissing a hand instead of vice versa?
Hey Stantis, you know what would have been nice? If you have told us WHAT WINSLOW HAD BEEN ACCUSED OF DOING!!! I guess we're all just supposed to assume that at some point Winslow had eaten a coyote...um, when would that be? When he was younger? I thought he was a pup, which makes it highly unlikely he was out in the desert hunting down wild animals. Not to mention that this is the same coyote who was completely out of place when hanging out with real coyotes a year ago. Argh.
So for THREE DAYS Stantis gave us a bunch of strips because "goat" rhymes with "boat," and that in his mind his high comedy. "Ya see, Winslow's a coyote - coyotes eat animals - goats are animals - it's gold, Jerry!" HE GETS PAID FOR THIS.
And just to rub it in our faces he acts as if the past three days never happened, going right into Winslow shaking hands with the public and not even worrying about the "scandal" that rocked his campain all week. But never fear, Stantis has another way to piss us off: terrible drawing!
Marvel...as Winslow's arm magically stretches more than Mr. Fantastic's. Be astounded...as Carmen's part expands and contracts a good six inches. Be perplexed...by how Stantis writes the word "Why" in the third panel - at first I thought Winslow was saying "No way." Be confused...by Carmen's "finger" in the last panel. Be even more confused...as to why Winslow is smelling his finger in that last panel. Once again I say - he gets paid for this.
Wait a minute - I think I just figured it out. Oh wow - it all makes so much more sense now! Scott Stantis is really...
Alberto Gonzales!!!
That's why he can't be fired! The Bush Administration will never fire him! He knows too much, and he's too valuable a tool for the neo-cons in the White House. Considering Gonzo doesn't seem to do any work that he actually remembers doing, odds are instead he's spending all of his time writing and drawing this crappy strip. It's starting to make perfect sense.
Can we demand that Scott Stantis be impeached too?
