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July 27, 2007
Dunkin' Hunter
Being unable (and, frankly, unwilling) to respond to this whole Swift Goat storyline any further, I thought I'd pretend to be Herr Stantis and take the Pick Your Candidate quiz on his behalf. I realize this is a silly exercise. I don't know this guy Scott Stantis. I don't know much about his personal political beliefs. All I can go on is what I've gleaned about his beliefs from his comic strips, The Buckets and Prickly City. In short: he's a pig-headed loon who will bristle at the fact I've called him a pig-headed loon while at the same time engage in name-calling of his own; he doesn't like being taxed; he digs thongs, especially for teenage girls and coyotes; he ain't so fond of women who hold positions of power; he can't spell for shit and his command of grammar is appalling for someone in the newspaper industry, which would be OK if he could draw well, which he can't; he likes drinking Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain; he's not into yoga; he has, at minimum, half-a-brain; he likes making love at Midnight in the dunes at the Cape; if you or anyone feels the same and likes out-of-date references, please email him and escape.
So based on those factors -- that sketch of a man -- and choosing answers thusly, the candidate the computer has chosen for Scott Stantis is...
Duncan L. Hunter, Rightwing NumaNumaJob
Comments
You've got to admire that Duncan Hunter's dedication; even his body leans right in the picture.
Posted by: Sacki at July 27, 2007 10:16 AM
