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June 21, 2007
Dip Your Fingers In Water To Prevent Meatballs From Sticking To Your Hands
Wikipedia? We're in a fight with some Fox-News-Channel-Daily-Show-ripoff-watching-punk over an article at wikipedia? I don't even believe in wikipedia. I'm the motherfucking person of the year, you son of a bitch, so don't be coming into my goddamn kitchen and calling me "not credible for proof of commonly accepted criticism." When were you person of the year, assclown?
Every December I make the 7-mile walk to the Farm and Fleet to pick up a copy of the Farmer's Almanac for the upcoming year. I'm set for 12 more months. That's all the information that anyone needs. And if I seem unduly upset, that's mostly because I missed out on the best days to quit smoking this month (1,4-6,9,10,13), and the best days to bake myself a pie to cope with that fact (23,24) don't come around soon enough.
As they claim at wikipedia, "[m]any visitors come to this site to acquire knowledge, others to share knowledge." Can the wikipedia tell me "Bloodstains can be among the toughest stains to remove from clothing and fabrics. Soak the stained clothing or cloth in cold saltwater, then launder in warm, soapy water"? I don't think so. Something important and vital to my daily activities, and it's not included in wikipedia; how could they portray themselves as a source of knowledge? As far as I'm concerned, wikipedia is a waste of internet tubes that could be devoted to lolcats.
Comments
Way to reuse a joke you told just a week ago, Stantis - and in the process once again confuse your characters.
Last week Winslow identified Republicans as "the other white meat." Today his podium identifies HIM as "the other white meat." Therefore, Winslow is a Republican, right? Isn't that what logic dictates? Or am I smearing Stantis by pointing that out?
Posted by: The Furnace at June 21, 2007 10:23 AM
So, do you think that the mere act of purchasing the Farmer's Almanac makes you a more legitimate expert? I could practice medicine for 20 years without a license and lose every patient. Should I be a qualified expert of medicine? SHOULD I?! Answer me!!
Posted by: CJo at June 21, 2007 12:32 PM
Well, you know, I'm a 17-year-old boy who lives in a small town in central Oklahoma. But if I tell the New Yorker in an email interview that I'm a 37-year-old philosophy professor at a small liberal arts college, then I can contribute on Wikipedia, right?
Right?
Posted by: Annie at June 21, 2007 12:47 PM
- "So, do you think that the mere act of purchasing the Farmer's Almanac makes you a more legitimate expert?"
As the expert, I believe the term you're looking to use is "legitimater."
- "I could practice medicine for 20 years without a license and lose every patient. Should I be a qualified expert of medicine? SHOULD I?! Answer me!!"
As the expert, I believe that if you were practicing medicine for 20 years without a license, you'd be an unqualified success.
- "Well, you know, I'm a 17-year-old boy who lives in a small town in central Oklahoma. But if I tell the New Yorker in an email interview that I'm a 37-year-old philosophy professor at a small liberal arts college, then I can contribute on Wikipedia, right?"
As the expert, I believe you would be able to contribute to Wikipedia. If, on the other hand, your email interview was with the New York Times, nobody would believe it.
I look forward to answering more questions next week in my "Ask The Expert" column.
Posted by: Sacki at June 21, 2007 03:19 PM
