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May 14, 2007
The Incredible Shrinking Mind
Good-ole boy Stantis -- like others of his political ilk -- once again decides to eschew science and math and instead just go with his gut. His gut tells him that baseball players take steroids. Stantis has tackled this topic each year, mostly in the form of Barry Bonds jokes. And each time his mitts come into contact with the topic, Stantis comes off like the know-nothing jagoff he is.
Take a look at these names:
Alex Sánchez - Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Jorge Piedra - Colorado Rockies
Agustín Montero - Texas Rangers
Jamal Strong - Seattle Mariners
Juan Rincón - Minnesota Twins
Rafael Betancourt - Cleveland Indians
Rafael Palmeiro - Baltimore Orioles
Ryan Franklin - Seattle Mariners
Mike Morse - Seattle Mariners
Carlos Almanzar - Texas Rangers
Félix Heredia - New York Mets
Matt Lawton - New York Yankees
Yusaku Iriki - New York Mets
Jason Grimsley - Arizona Diamondbacks
Guillermo Mota - New York Mets
Juan Salas - Tampa Bay Devil Rays
This is a list of players (since 2005, when regular testing was started) who have tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs and were, as a consequence, suspended by Major League Baseball.
With 30 Teams and 25-man rosters (750 players), let's look at the yearly breakdown:
2005: 12 positive tests: 1.6% of players
2006: 3 positive tests: 0.4% of players
2007: 1 positive test (to date): 0.13% of players.
So these are the facts about positive tests at the MLB level. Does this mean no one else is taking steroids or using drugs that are undetectable? Who knows. I don't know. You don't know. And I guarandamntee it Stantis doesn't know. These are the only facts we have.
Stantis is proud of his conservative credentials. He oftentimes criticizes "liberals" because they argue out of emotion and feeling, whereas the conservatives argue based on facts
Which side are you on again, Scott?
Comments
Funny - you'd think Republican corruption would be a much easier target for a "political" comic strip. But oh that's right - Dems are JUST as corrupt because of that one guy with the money in the freezer. Nevermind that the number of corrupt Republicans is more than MLB steroid abusers.
Posted by: The Furnace at May 14, 2007 08:32 AM
Bonds plays in San Francisco, and San Francisco is the land of all things liberal. Tomorrow's strip will be about how Nancy Pelosi is somehow or another responsible for Bonds' alleged steroid use.
This has the further advantage of saving Stantis from the pain of confronting actual misconduct among his beloved conservatives.
Posted by: Annie at May 14, 2007 09:04 AM
I'm used to Prickly City being 2 weeks behind the news, but this strip is 2 YEARS behind! If the steroid testing policy went into effect in 2005, why would the players be noticably smaller this year?
Posted by: John at May 14, 2007 12:40 PM
Guess what? Good ol' Scott Stantis is mouthing off again -- this time in an editorial that was published in the Birmingham News, which also publishes his editorial cartoons. Well, I guess we know why Stantis has been phoning it in recently -- he's been spending all his time on this editorial!
But seriously, on to the subject of the editorial. Stantis is upset that some of his editorial cartoonist colleagues are getting nominated for the Pulitzer Prize for Editorial Cartooning partly because of their animated cartoons, which they post online.
Stantis, technophobe that he is, naturally doesn't do this.
Stantis claims that the award was created exclusively for the newspaper industry and that the animated cartoons should not be taken into consideration. He's also of the opinion that these animated cartoons are too zany to be compared with newspaper editorial cartoons -- comparing them instead with "Family Guy," "The Simpsons," "American Dad," and the Jib-Jab Guys.
He also says that editorial cartoons are by their nature "uncomfortable" and have "black hearts." Well, that's pleasant, Stantis.
Any thoughts on this?
If you want to read the actual text of Stantis's editorial, you can find it in all its black-hearted glory at the following website.
http://dailycartoonist.com/index.php/2007/05/14/stantis-animated-cartoons-shouldnt-be-part-of-pulitzer-consideration/
Oh, yeah, and just to talk about today's strip for a second -- You can't expect Stantis to stop having gags related to steroids use in baseball. It's what he likes to call a running gag -- kind of like Winslow trying to fly, characters randomly disappearing, and manscaping.
Posted by: Prickly City News Flash! at May 14, 2007 06:23 PM
