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April 29, 2007

Carmen Hates Capitalism

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TODAY'S STRIP

What the #@%! happened to the dinosaurs?!?

Don't answer that. I already know. Stantis is done with his "ethical dilemma" storyline. Took petrified dino eggs, made a full-sized dinosaur in minutes, and now - something completely different. What are the odds of him going back to his huge moral question on Monday? That's right - zero. He's done with it. Game over man, game over. That was it yesterday - I hope you enjoyed Stantis's brilliant insight into the ethical dilemma surrounding the hatching of petrified dinosaur eggs.

Today it looks like the girl that drew the manga-inspired strips last fall is dating his son again, giving us more of a Hello Kitty look this time around. Apparently now Stantis hates outsourcing, even though it's one of the lynchpins of the Republican economic policy. You're supposed to LIKE outsourcing, silly Stantis.

Instead of dinosaurs, this week SHOULD be devoted to Mr. I Don't Recall Gonzales, since that was the biggest story in the news a few weeks ago (of course the Virginia Tech shootings were also big news, but I pray Stantis doesn't try to tackle that issue). The U.S. Attorney firing scandal is still a pretty big deal, so it might actually make Stantis seem topical. If anything we know Stantis won't talk about dinosaurs again, which is a lose/lose deal for us readers: on one hand I want to know why Carmen was so angry if the worst the dinosaur will do is gum Winslow, but on the other it was the worst. strip. ever. Damned if you do...

It's interesting watching Stantis make a similar transformation that other neo-con tools are going through now. Like Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity and even Rush Limbaugh, they were loud-mouthed braggarts, full of confidence and bravado, acting as if they're on top of the world. Then the 2006 elections happened. Now look at them. O'Reilly is screaming at every other guest - including Geraldo. He's going around saying there's a massive liberal conspiracy fueled by George Soros. Hannity is more shrill than ever, also believing in mass conspiracies - and that this administration never ever does anything that might be seen as corrupt.

And Rush? He's the weirdest of them all. I'm not talking about his "Barack the Magic Negro" racist song, although that's something I doubt he would have tried six months ago. No, I'm referring to his bizarre Media Matters defense. Here's what's happening: Media Matters follows what Rush and other conservatives say, documenting any lies or outrageous behavior. So Rush is a regular contributor (see: Magic Negro, Barack). Rush hates the idea of them actually using his own words against him. So now when Rush says something offensive, the next day when Media Matters documents it he says, "A-ha! I didn't REALLY mean it, I was baiting Media Matters into talking about it! Ha ha! I win!"

Um, Rush - so you're telling us that you're saying things that other conservatives want to hear, but you don't really mean them, it's just a ploy to make someone else look bad? How do you think your loyal dittoheads, who are sitting in their cars pumping their fists when you say something offensive about Democrats, must feel when you say "I didn't really mean that - it was all a trick!" What exactly DO you stand for, Rush? Because I don't think you even know anymore (remember that great line right after the elections where Rush said he was sick of "carrying the water" for the Republican party? I do). Lucky for you your listeners are such sheep they won't stop long enough to realize that they're the biggest dupes of all.

And here we have Stantis. His strips are so bizarre now that even he can't figure out what they're supposed to mean. Ethical dilemmas over petrified dinosaur eggs? Carmen floating through the air because she thinks Reagan and Goldwater were the same kind of Republican? Much like Rush and O'Reilly he's losing what little grip he had on reality to begin with.

But can you blame him? Everything he knew, and everything he's learned over the last six years, is wrong. Bush doesn't know what he's doing. No WMDs. Imperial presidency. Mitt doesn't think Osama is a big deal. McCain being smacked down by a comedian. And so on.

It's tough being a Republican nowadays. And it couldn't happen to a more deserving group of sheeple.

Posted by The Furnace on April 29, 2007 09:10 AM

Comments

Well, Furnace, not to defend Stantis or anything but it is pretty typical for cartoonists not to include Sundays in ongoing storylines, since the Sunday paper can often have a different audience than the daily paper (traditionally, anyway).
That said, today's strip was miserable, as was the dinosaur series.
And yet, somehow, I kind of want the dinosaurs to return. Sure, it was horrible, but it was a nice break from Stantis's relentless political crap. And when I say nice, I mean "lacking Stantis's relentless political crap."
Also, dinosaurs are a pretty big thing to get rid of. You can't just say, "Oh, that dinosaur? Yeah, he kind of just disappeared...." But now there's a dinosaur in Prickly City! Are you telling me there will be no consequences??
How very neo-con of Stantis if he just pretends it never happened on Monday.
Then again, after how Dio, Shelly, Kevin, and that dust devil disappeared inexplicably, I wouldn't be surprised if the dinosaur(s?) did too.

Posted by: Chris at April 29, 2007 11:34 AM

Ironically, the "outsourced" artwork is better than what we normally see from Stantis.

Posted by: John at April 29, 2007 11:52 PM

I realize the Sunday stuff is usually unrelated, but after the big set up all week and the promise of more dinosaurs in color I thought Stantis might actually tell us what the heck he was talking about. But nope - just another one-off that contradicts what he would normally support.

Posted by: The Furnace at April 30, 2007 07:12 AM

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