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March 31, 2007
Pride Goeth - And Stantis, Why Don't You Goeth With It
Good week? Good week??? What does that even mean?????
I guess Stantis is patting himself on the back because of his "daring" storylines this week. Carmen got fired because she didn't go after Democrats enough. That was his whole commentary on that. Then the FBI spied on her without warrants, so Carmen said that means the terrorists win, and I guess that means Stantis gets to pat himself on the back.
WTF?
How in the world can Stantis think he had a good week when he half-assed two of the biggest stories of the year? He did nothing with the U.S. Attorney scandal other than admit it was political. Wow, that took some balls. Then he admitted it's wrong the FBI is spying on us illegally. Again - balls of steel you have there, Stantis. Way to go out on a limb. Next week: it's wrong to kick puppies. It's wrong!
This is like a child being told to clean up his room, and when he picks up one sock and puts it in the hamper he claps his hands together and says, "Great job!" ignoring the fact that the room is still a complete disaster. Bravo, Stantis - you brought up two major issues, paid them lip service, and now you spend an entire day congratulating yourself. Dude, you should take a vacation having spent so much energy saving the world like you have.
March 30, 2007
Shrubville Needs a Day Off
March 29, 2007
What A Big Boy Am You!
John Conyers: Not only was it not read, but it was not even fully understood.
So it seems that the author of Prickly City, whose work we discuss here at Shrubville, is on the same page as Joe Biden, Barbara Boxer, Hillary Clinton, John Conyers, Dick Durbin, John Kerry, Barack Obama and Harry Reid, among others, in mindlessly granting to the President unlimited powers, only to complain about it when he uses them.
Ineptitude: bringing America together.
Posted by Sacki at 05:55 AM | Comments (4)March 28, 2007
You Repeat What You Sow
Boy, that didn't last long. Before he even got into it, Stantis dropped the U.S. Attorney firing story. Granted, he's picking up on a potentially more damaging thread: the revelation that the FBI has been breaking the law while misusing their power in obtaining warrants to spy on U.S. citizens.
It's a challenging topic for a comic strip. So when in doubt, just pull a repeat out of your ass. Like this one from January 2, 2006:
As I said back in 1/2/06:
It took me awhile to "get" today's strip. For the longest time this morning, I thought God was listening in on Carmen and Winslow's phone conversation. As you know, God is omnipresent. He's running our government, he's choosing textbooks for our schools, he's picking which football teams win which games -- he's EVERYWHERE, PEOPLE! But the more I thought about it, the more I realized today was Stantis referencing the Bush wire-tapping scandal.Posted by CJo at 08:55 AM | Comments (0)It's a cute strip. After all, it's probably just a harmless conversation Winlsow and Carmen are having about the PETA rally Winslow attended. There's no reason for alarm. There's no reason for concern. Just let the Exectutive Branch of the government do what they see fit. That's why Stantis spent so much newspaper space and so much energy in 2004 to ensure Bush was re-elected. Can you imagine the Tax Sandwich we'd all be chewing on had Kerry been elected. It would've been a disaster.
You did a heckuva job, Scott; heckuva job.
March 27, 2007
So Carmen Worked For The White House? That Explains A Lot
THIS JUST IN: SCOTT STANTIS GETS A CLUE
Unfortunately after yesterday's cocktease of a strip the headline isn't "Scott Stantis Quits Prickly City - Replaced By Talentless Ten-Year-Old - Everyone Notices Drastic Improvement." No, Stantis is seemingly still with us, but apparently he's at least been paying attention to the news.
It's true: Carmen was fired yesterday. From what job, I have no idea. See, here's where Stantis does something and doesn't realize the different meanings it can have. This is supposed to be a commentary on the seven (possibly more) U.S. Attorneys that were fired by Alberto Gonzales and the White House. The charge is that they were fired for political reasons, and then lied about it because it's not exactly kosher to fire those Attorneys because they didn't carry your water like Rush Limbaugh.
Stantis even makes the point that Carmen wasn't hard enough on the Dems so she has to go. So it seems as though Stantis is admitting that yes, Gonzo fired the U.S. Attorneys for political reasons. Can that be right? Does he realize that's the message he's sending? Or that with today's strip he's admitting that Carmen works for the White House?
On top of that we get a two-fer today: he also acknowledges the story about the FBI illegally spying on us and admitting that "mistakes were made" when not getting warrants and not telling anybody what they were really doing. That story's been buried thanks to the U.S.A.s firing, so thanks to Stantis for being two weeks behind the times and reminding everyone about it.
So where in the world is all of this going? It's interesting that Stantis took up this storyline since we're still learning things about what really happened every day. Since Stantis wrote this Bush has said that if anyone from the White House testifies: it's not under oath, there are no transcripts, and it's behind closed doors. We found out over the weekend that Gonzo blatantly lied to the Congress. And yesterday we found out that one of Gonzo's top advisors has said she'll plead the fifth(!?) if she's called to testify.
How is Stantis going to justify this? I'm sure in his own ham-fisted way he'll try, which is why he made poor wittle Carmen the victim despite not actually being an attorney or an official Republican (seems to me Stantis makes it very clear in his podcasts - remember those? - that Carmen isn't one of them, then he goes and does something like this - yes, he's an idiot).
Or will he admit that it's wrong to fire your own appointees because they followed the law instead of Republican talking points? And admit that there needs to be oversight and they should have to get warrants if they want to spy on us?
Who knows. And honestly, who cares? Stantis is in way over his head in this one. He tackled a subject without knowing the whole story, and I'm pretty sure that within the next few days he'll have Carmen say or do something that has nothing to do with the truth or what's really going on so he can simply excuse it away. It's what he does. Somehow it's all the Democrats' fault, and then he'll wish it away and talk about Britney in rehab and Winslow trying to fly.
Just another week in the lamest town around, Prickly City.
*UPDATE*
There actually is a new podcast up that was recorded on Friday. It's interesting, because Stantis brings up Candorville and encourages people to read it. It's also funny because we here at Shrubville know the real reason he wants it around - because Prickly City and Candorville are inexplicably tied in the eyes of editors and if they have to cancel a conservative strip like P.C. then Candorville will have to go too. He also tells an anecdote about how he got positive and negative letters from readers, but he had to go back to the days of his old Buckets strip. What Stantis, no positive letters about Prickly? Apparently not, since Toby reads a bunch of negative emails that Stantis really can't respond to since he knows their criticisms are right on.
On a serious note, Stantis also tells us that his father has been diagnosed with cancer. While we might not agree with Stantis and his politics or think he's any good at his job, it's nothing personal - and we here at Shrubville wish his father and his family the best in this very trying time.
March 26, 2007
The Impossible Dream
Please oh please. Could it be? Is there any chance? Ding-dong the Hack is dead? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASE?
While I'd like to believe this is the start of one-week series which will end with The End of Prickly City, I imagine this will turn out to be Scott's comment about the U.S. Attorney firings. Of course, the fact Carmen is getting canned just illustrates how limited Stantis' approach can be. If anything, Carmen would be promoted to Attorney-fucking-General since she is the loyalest of the loyal Bushies.
But in the meantime, before tomorrow's strip is published, let me have my dream in which Stantis is fired...let me fantasize about how beautiful the world would be without Prickly City.
Posted by CJo at 06:49 AM | Comments (2)March 25, 2007
When Did It Happen?
Soooo...on Thursday Carmen straps on one of Winslow's gizmos to try and fly, today she's trying to stop him. Okay then.
When did it happen? When did Stantis simply quit trying, instead devoting the strip to either Carmen and Winslow spewing Republican talking points or Winslow trying to fly? I think the timing coincides with his surgery last December. Since then it's been a parade of variations on the same theme each and every day: whatever was on Fox News and Rush, or whatever Wile E. Coyote gag Stantis hasn't stolen yet.
While Stantis has always been a Republican lackey, he at least put forward some kind of effort in the past. Kevin the Last Bunny of the Apocalypse or whatever his name was. Dio the Philosopher Wizard. Shelly the Turtle. Granted none of them were very good as characters. Stantis didn't have a clue what to do with Kevin. Dio flip flopped more than Carmen and Winslow combined and never really had a unique voice. Shelly was consistent only because I don't think she ever spoke.
But at least when introducing other characters Stantis was trying something different. I think everyone around Shrubville can agree we kinda liked Winslow's illegal immigrant counterpart from south of the border, even if he was just a chubby rip-off of Snoopy's cousin Spike. But that guy who was dressed like a monk that ran the supposed "church of science" a few weeks ago? Lame beyond lame. Stantis didn't even show the guy's face - where was the obvious "It's really Al Gore!" gag? And the guy just repeated everything Winslow was saying. Way to stretch as an "artist," Stantis.
When CJo first approached me about posting here I saw it as a chance to respond to a neo-con's twisted views of the world. But more and more of my time has been devoted to criticizing Stantis as a comic strip artist - his lack of creativity, originality, and ability to even draw on a third grade level. It would be one thing if Stantis was an amazing talent with the pen, yet had repulsive Republican talking points coming out of the mouths of his characters. But that's not the case.
Let's put it this way: if Stantis devoted every strip to either Winslow trying to fly or complaining about tabloid journalism, it would have been dumped by his editors years ago. But since he's a supposed conservative voice, he stays. It's a terrible commentary on our supposed "liberal" media that he's given a prime slot in the comics section not because of his talent, but because he's a Republican toady who's more than happy to get the Republican's lies out there for everyone to see.
That's why we here at Shrubville are so tired. We're tired of a guy who doesn't even try. We do our best, but after a while it's like pounding your head against the wall. Stantis isn't getting better - he's getting worse. Why his editors don't see that is beyond me. But as long as Stantis has a platform, we're going to try and hold him accountable. We might be tilting at windmills, but at least we're trying.
March 24, 2007
Welcome to OppositeLand
A few weeks back I wondered where this world is that conservatives live, because lord knows it's not in the real world. We see more of that today as Stantis shows us he truly does not live on the same planet we do.
After six years of a Republican policy of bipartisanship roughly summed up as, "Shut up and take it, bitch," Stantis is now whining that Democrats aren't working with Republicans. As Barbara Boxer told Senator James "I'm a Baby and Need a Timeout" Inhofe, elections have consequences.
Stantis dares to put Winslow on a literal soap box, as if he and his conservative brothers have any room to talk. For six years the American people have had to put up with single party rule - a party that lied us into war, illegally spied on us, tortured innocent people, cut taxes on the rich and raised them on the poor, watched as New Orleans drowned, and on and on, and now THEY want to talk about bipartisanship?
And on top of that, they're STILL the ones who refuse to work with the Democrats even though they're in the minority. After the Dems threatened to filibuster any Supreme Court justice nominees that were too extreme a few years ago, Republicans screamed and hollered and whined that the Democrats hate America and the Constitution - how dare they filibuster?! Leaving out, of course, that they themselves had done it during the Clinton years. And now that they're the minority party? You guessed it - the Republicans have already been threatening to filibuster things the Dems want to pass. But does the "liberal" media make a big stink about it? Of course not.
Republicans are the ones who refuse to work with the Democrats. Any sane person who follows politics knows that's the case right now in the Congress. As the majority party they threw their weight around, doing everything the President demanded of them without question. As the minority party they're blocking everything they can, threatening to filibuster - and if something does happen to pass, Bush will veto it. So tell me Scott, if the Republicans are all for bipartisanship, when was the last time they showed any of it themselves?
What's sad is that Stantis did a strip similar to this just a week or so ago. It's as if something happens in the news where he and his Bush Republican brothers don't get their way, so he has to whine about how they're - once again - the poor abused victims of the big bad Democratic party. Boo-f*cking-hoo. You know that's not the case, and if you honestly believe that you're either stupid, psychotic, or ignorant. My thinking is that most of the media fall into that third one, although Sean Hannity is clearly all three.
But maybe we should listen to Stantis. Please, let's all go back a year ago, when the Republican majority and the President bent over backwards to work with Democrats. I mean, it's not as if the Republicans held closed door meetings where they locked out Democrats as they wrote legislation. Oh, wait, they did that? Repeatedly? Well, it's not as if when the Democrats wanted to hold their own hearings like on the abuses of the Patriot Act the Republicans would force them into small basement rooms to hold their hearings, right? Oh, wait, they did that too? How about cutting off Democrat's mics and adjourning meetings because they didn't like what they heard? Oh - right - Sensenbrenner and the G'itmo hearings. Slipping in provisions into the Patriot Act so they could hire and fire attorneys without Senate confirmation? Oh right - Specter's midnight madness. Yeesh, um, you know what - nevermind.
Do you not remember any of that, Stantis? Do you honestly - truly, in your heart of hearts - think the Republicans EVER demonstrated bipartisanship? Why in the world should Democrats do it now, especially when Bush is STILL sending the message that it's his way or the highway? And do you even know what bipartisanship means? The Democrats ARE trying to work with the Republicans. That's why the majority of the votes the House has taken where legislation has passed hasn't relied solely on the Democratic majority - plenty of Republicans crossed over because they knew it was the right thing to do. And to top it all off, when was the last time you saw a Democrat screaming at a Republican to shut up? Please - if you're going to say Winslow is a Dem at least have him act like one.
But no, Stantis, you're wearing Republican-colored glasses and see the world through them. You live on your own crazy planet where you're the poor victim and the scary liberals are out to get you. Grow up. Do more than just listen to right-wing talking points and actually learn more about politics before you hop on your own damn soapbox and talk about it. At this point I'm much more inclined to listen to some writers at Sports Illustrated on their world views than a guy who gets his opinions from Rush and O'Reilly. Geez Stantis, don't YOU ever get tired of carrying the water for the Republican party?
March 23, 2007
We Represent the Underpants Gnomes
Oh, so Scott Stantis is a collector of back issues of Sports Illustrated now. He must be. He must have the issue in question -- February 2, 1970 -- and he must have personally vetted it to make sure it was an article about global cooling. Because, you know, he wouldn't just rely on the word of anonymous bloggers, would he? Or, worse yet, he wouldn't make up shit about an issue from 37 years ago, would he?
Now, I don't know for sure what the article form 2/2/70 says, and, frankly, I don't really care. I'm not the one publishing a comic strip proclaiming the contents of a 37-year-old magazine that would be almost impossible for the average comic strip reader to verify.
All I can do is rely on the description of an eBay seller who had the issue up for sale:
"This is the Sports Illustrated magazine from February 2, 1970. It concentrates on pullution [sic]. There are 56 pages and just a little wear on the spine. Some articles are Neat Feet With a Kenya Beat, Into the Winner's Circle, It's More Fun Without Lew, Golfing's Pro of 52nd Street and much more."
It seems to me the SI article was about pollution. Might they have mentioned the concept of "global cooling"? Possibly. But I don't give a shit about the crazy rantings of Stantis anymore to check it out beyond that.
And his rantings ARE increasingly crazy. Stantis spends too much time listening to the Kooky Conservative chatter in cyberspace.
I spent a couple minutes sifting through the lunatic fringe that is the Free Republic looking for comments regarding Sports Illustrated's take on global warming. And here are some choice cuts:
"I posted about SI being a liberal rag a year or two ago, and got ridiculed big time by a few people for saying that. Hmmmm, who was right about that one?"
"I dumped my subscription last year because of the leftward tilt inserted wherever they could. I will let my Scientific American subscription lapse for the same reason this year."
"BAAAARRRRFFF!"
"These lefty assclowns who have taken over Time/Life cannot be abused enough."
"The Envirowackos are getting desperate. They see the writing on the wall. More and more real scientist are coming forward to say this is a scam. More and more economist are coming forward to say how this will destroy our economy as well. If they don't grab total control in the next year or two GW is over. Then they will have to find a new issue. Just like they did after global cooling, acid rain, DDT, Rain Forest, over population, ........."
"SI columnists have been pushing the homosexual agenda for years."
And my personal favorite:
"The underpants gnomes designed this hellhole we're in.
Step 1) Take over education and remove all critical thinking skills from the children.
Step 2) TBD.
Step 3) GLOBAL WARMING."
This, my friends, is the stuff that fuels Stantis.
It's scary. He's scary.
Posted by CJo at 08:45 AM | Comments (4)March 22, 2007
Take It On The Run
After all this miserable time, I think I've stumbled upon the reason why the Prickly City strip that we analyze here daily at Shrubville is so terrifically offensive to the senses. (Yes, we analyze to some degree. 0 is a degree - look it up.) The word on the street is that the author of said strip has for the past 5 years had his 8-track stuck playing REO Speedwagon's "Time For Me To Fly." Diagnosis: Kevin Cronin's disease. The result is that said strip, much like the inside of said author's colon, stinks worse than shit.
Posted by Sacki at 12:02 AM | Comments (2)March 21, 2007
Wipe Out
In today's strip, crazy Neo-Con Ziggy really really really really really has to wipe his ass. However, the liberal dog named Fuzz has voted to withhold the toilet paper. A fracas ensues. Ziggy chases Fuzz around the house, his pants around his ankles, his private parts -- deformed and wrinkled -- are exposed for the entire world to see.
Posted by CJo at 09:08 AM | Comments (2)March 20, 2007
Laziest Man Alive
Carmen stands at the top of a cliff. Winslow lays at the bottom, holding a broken umbrella and saying, "I'm the fall guy."
Welcome to yet another addition of Scott Stantis's "I'm too lazy to do my f*cking job."
You see Scott, with this administration and all of their scandals it would be really helpful if you specify WHICH scandal Winslow is the fall guy for. Is he Scooter Libby, who took the fall for Karl Rove in the outing of a covert CIA agent? Is he Lt. Gen. Kevin Kiley, who took the fall for the Walter Reed scandal? Or maybe he's Attorney General Alberto Gonzales's assistant Kyle Sampson OR Harriet Miers, who are both positioned to take the fall in the attorney purge scandal?
On top of all of that, why would WINSLOW be the fall guy? Because it's cute to show him all smashed and bruised? I'm sure you didn't intend for us to all assume that Carmen pushed him off the cliff, but that's exactly what I see. The little Republican bitch, always looking out for herself, shoved Winslow off to protect herself and now looks on as if to say, "What, I didn't do anything wrong." Why? Because nobody in this administration is ever to blame and none of them ever take responsibility when things go to hell. I'm sure you blame everything bad with Prickly City on your editors, like you did when they supposedly inserted those infamous Ted Kennedy quotes or when they somehow published your lies about Howard Dean. Never your fault, right Stantis?
I'm sorry, but you can't just throw out something like this and assume everyone knows what you're talking about when you write them TWO WEEKS IN ADVANCE. I'll bet you yourself don't even know who Winslow is supposed to represent, you just heard the term "fall guy" over and over again from the Republican talking heads and thought it would be cute to see Winslow at the bottom of a cliff near death holding an umbrella. Yeah, real cute.
Hey, I've got a few more terms that the Republicans repeated ad naseum this weekend: "At the pleasure of the President." "Micromanage the war." "Witchhunt." Maybe you can work those in. Like dress up poor wittle Carmen like a witch and Winslow can burn her alive. Or have Winslow pass a bill in Congress trying to redeploy the troops. Or show Winslow on his knees giving President Bush a slobber knocker. Whatever.
Can you honestly look in the mirror and say you gave today's strip your all? That when you sat down to write this, you thought it through and decided what it meant? That there was a deeper meaning beyond Winslow being abused once again? Did you ever stop to think that yes, there are plenty of jokes that can be mined from the numerous Republican scandals, and the accomplices at the lower levels that take the fall for their superiors, the ones that are really ruining the country? Did you take a moment and say to yourself, "This is good. I'm proud of this. I want people to read this and think I've done a good job?"
Or did you come up with what you think is a funny visual (which you just stole from a Wil E. Coyote cartoon), slap a lame punchline in that relates to something you heard on Fox News, and send it off to your editors on the way to cash in your paycheck?
Scott Stantis, you're an insult to every comic book artist out there who takes the time and energy to create a good daily comic strip. You are an embarrassment to your profession, and a reminder that there are numerous artists out there who can't have their voices heard because you benefit from a quota system that insists if your conservative strip is cancelled, an actually funny, well-researched, entertaining liberal strip must also be removed. Scott Stantis, you are everything that is wrong in the world of comics. And today's strip just reinforces that even you yourself know that.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:56 AM | Comments (1)March 19, 2007
Oh, this strip still exists??
I had forgotten all about "Prickly City" and I run this goddamn website.
From what I can gather, today's entry is a collage of cutting room panels Stantis gathered from the waste bin and glued together. It makes no sense on an individual basis. And it certainly makes no sense on a chronological basis when matched up with last week's entries.
It is so clear Scott Stantis no longer cares about "Prickly City."
Join the club, brother.
Posted by CJo at 11:10 AM | Comments (2)March 18, 2007
I Hate Scott Stantis
Almost as much as I hate Glenn Beck.
Carmen secretly likes Barack Obama. Why? Who knows. Who cares. Stantis will never follow up on it, so why bother? Odds are he threw it out there so people would say, "Oh, she likes him because he's a fellow minority," then Stantis could respond that noooo, she likes his presence and how "articulate" and "clean" he is and blah blah blah.
It would be a lot easier to talk about this strip if it didn't look like it was drawn by an 8-year-old having a seizure. Seriously, this is arguably the sloppiest Prickly City ever. It's as if Stantis could see how it should play out in his head (think Tex Avery back in the day), but when it came to actually making it a reality he turns in something that wouldn't get him published in the local free flyer. How this is nationally syndicated is beyond me...oh, wait, he's a conservative. Nevermind. We all know the ONLY reason Scott Stantis still has a comic strip in our newspapers.
As our regular readers might have noticed, the crew here at Shrubville is getting pretty burned out by Prickly City. After years the strip is as terrible as ever, and at times worse than we could have imagined. It's a complete mess, a comic strip begging to be cancelled yet unless there's a liberal strip on the same page the editor can also cut, it's going to keep getting published. And it's a real shame. Stantis might be fine with his one-off straight editorials - I don't read them, but the few I've seen actually look like he spent some time on them. Not Prickly City. He's like a guy who's simply fulfilling a contract at this point. In fact lately he's doing more "outrageous" things (Winslow Jong-il, for example) in either an attempt to get more attention or as a bid to get dropped from enough papers that he can focus on something else.
Why don't we offer up some controversial things for Stantis to do so we can all have our wish granted that Prickly City is tossed on the trash heap? Maybe Carmen can call Winslow a faggot, like her idol Ann Coulter did to John Edwards. Maybe nine people can die in a fire in Prickly City and Carmen can somehow twist it to support her position on illegal immigration, like Bill O'Reilly did with the NYC fire. Maybe Carmen can call Hillary a bitch yet nobody says a peep, like what happened with Glenn Beck. And speaking of Beck, maybe Winslow can sexually harass Carmen on national TV and somehow still keep his job on CNN.
I encourage Stantis to keep trying to offend us with stupid lies about liberals, like who really believes in "think globally act locally" and how well the economy is doing. Give us Winslow dressed as Hitler and Osama (since that's who conservatives love to compare Kim Jong-il to). Go all out. And hopefully you'll say and do something so stupid editors will have to let you go. Much like nine of them have done to Ann Coulter after her homophobic hate speech.
Come on, Stantis - you know you wanna. Push the envelope. Let us see your true conservative colors shining through.
March 17, 2007
Wow, A Conservative Bitching About the United Nations? That's Original
TODAY'S TYPICAL CONSERVATIVE WHINE
So do you think Stantis looked ahead on his calendar and realized today was St. Patrick's Day and might do something that's actually topical? Of course not! He's on a roll with Winslow Jong-Il!
Hot on the heels of the typical "We big burly conservative he-men despise diplomacy" meme comes the "We hate the United Nations more than the devil himself" Republican talking point. Yeah, you guys don't like talking with the evil-doers, we get it. The U.N. is baaaaaaad.
Except when they're the ones trying to do the fighting in Afghanistan, of course - we need more bodies in Baghdad, we can't be bothered with little things like the central front in the "war on terror."
I just don't get this conservative talking point, especially considering what's happened with North Korea. The facts are out there: Iraq didn't have nukes, Bush knew it, so he was quick to invade. North Korea might have nukes, Bush knows it, so after a bunch of "don't do that" finger wagging backed up by absolutely nothing, actual diplomacy comes into play. Now we're tossing North Korea a bunch of money (which is probably coming from Japan - funny the irony there, huh?) and they're backing off on their nuclear program. In other words, diplomacy worked. Perish the thought! The angry little warmongers on the right don't get to blow up stuff real good. Poor babies.
Of course Stantis's punchline doesn't make any sense today. What Winslow should have said was, "I haven't gotten my TV yet - I'm at the 'flooded by paperwork from the United Nations' stage, so I'm getting close." Because that's the next step: the U.N. lets the bad guys know the rest of the planet doesn't want World War 3 (or 5 if you're the neo-cons) to break out, so let's talk things out. THEN you get your TV. Stupid Stantis. Don't you know how the real world works?
Oh, I'm sorry, that's right - he doesn't. In his twisted world where Democrats = terrorists, he doesn't have a clue about things like dealing with your enemies in a real world setting. Dude, you don't need diplomacy with your friends. (Although thinking about how all liberals want the terrorists to win it must have blown Stantis's mind to think that 9/11 mastermind who admitted to everything except shooting Lincoln also claims to have plotted to kill Jimmy Carter. "But I thought Jimmy and Osama were just as close as Osama and Saddam!" Stantis must have thought.)
So yeah, instead of Winslow dressed up as an Irish stereotype drinking green beer and talking about potatoes we get some more lame United Nations bashing. Ho hum. Can someone please issue conservatives some new talking points? Because we're tired of the ones they keep trotting out when they don't want to talk about the real issues of the day like the Walter Reed scandal and the attorney purge scandal and the FBI lying to Congress scandal.
March 16, 2007
T I M E L I N E
November 29, 2006
It is announced that the U.S. is banning the sale of luxury goods to North Korea, specifically targeting items said-to-be favored by Kim Jong Il, such as iPods and plasma televisions.
March 15, 2007
Scott Stantis embarks on a two-day (and counting) series about Winslow
desiring a plasma TV so much that he pretends to be Kim Jong Il and threatens the world with his nuclear program.
March 16, 2007
I bang my head on the keyboard until my brain oozes out of my ears, which I then scoop up and toss in the garbage. No need for it anymore. My brain is broken after too many years of trying to piece together the wild and crazy rantings of a simple-minded conservative kook with an endless supply of markers but a finite supply of ideas.
I do find it interesting that on the same day Stantis starts banging the North Korea drum out-of-the-blue, Bruce Tinsley's Mallard Fillmore also conjures up Kim Jong-Il. Of course, they both troll the same message boards. They both cruise the same conservative bathhouses, where, amidst the flesh of other men, war plans are drawn up.
Posted by CJo at 08:09 AM | Comments (5)March 15, 2007
Minister of Disinformation
Do I have the slightest notion of what's going on in the Prickly City these days other than the allusions and scenarios laid out by the crack staff of Shrubville? No, no I do not. So it is with great wonderment that I check in to go.comics.com/pricklycity to see some nonsense concerning Winslow, a 100-inch tv, and Kim Jong Il.
But let it be known that I'm sure that the Best Leader Who Realized Human Wisdom would be shocked and horrified to learn of Winslow misrepresenting him in such a manner. It's well known how the good folk of the DPRK feel about the imperialists' capitalism:
The imperialists are craftily working to infiltrate bourgeois ideology and culture into the anti-imperialist independent countries and socialist countries, prattling that bourgeois ideological and cultural offensive is effective enough to bring down those countries, which they deem hard to subdue by dint of nuclear weapons. Precisely for this reason the bulk of their state budget goes to those institutions and information bodies that specialize in the above-said offensive. They are busy faking up misinformation to be used for advertising "advantages" of capitalism and conducting smear campaigns against the progressive countries. They also preach that the corrupt capitalist life style is suitable to the intrinsic nature of human being.
Damn you, Stantis, quit faking up misinformation!
Posted by Sacki at 12:49 AM | Comments (2)March 14, 2007
Big Ten
Fair Harvard has -- GASP -- approved a curriculum change to go into effect in 2009 at the earliest. I'm not sure why Stantis cares about this since even mere mention of Harvard gets one branded the dreaded the Double E (Elite AND Effete).
We all know what topics to avoid in polite conversations with conservatives, lest they get red-faced angry, their cheeks puffing out with the hot air they are soon to emit like a gaseous belch of bitter indignation. Here's the top 10.
1. Brie
2. Chablis
3. a Free Press
4. Massachusetts (save for the Romney years)
5. Sodomy
6. Truth
7. Limousines, But Only If Used by Liberals
8. Science
9. Taxes
10. The Ivy League
As fun as it is to hear Scott's great debate about the changing face of higher education, I think he should stick to topics more in his sweet spot Here's the top 10:
1. JuCo JuCo JuCo!
2. Drool: Wipe Off with Tissue, or Let Fall to the Floor?
3. Look, Dem 'Dere Cars Is Goin' 'Round & 'Round in Circles
4. Aids Island -- where we ship off all the Gays to die
5. Liberals Who Make Me Mad are Fat
6. PC Blimp
7. Caring About the Poor Makes You a Faggot
8. I Am Not the Love Child of Charles Darwin and a Monkey He Fucked
9. Beef: It's What's for Dinner
10. Pardon Libby
March 13, 2007
Notice How Carmen Doesn't Disagree With Him
I'm convinced that conservatives like Stantis live in some bizarro fantasy world of their own making. Because it's nothing like the world normal people live in.
Liberal Winslow goes off on a rant for absolutely no reason, saying he's tolerant and then calling Conservative Carmen a "racist, sexist, homophobic, right-wing, religious fascist." This sets up Carmen for her cutesy vaudevillian punchline about liberals putting the "rant" into "tolerant." Waka waka, enjoy the veal.
Why does Winslow go off on poor wittle Carmen? Maybe he was at the CPAC convention, where most of those things were on display for all to see. But Stantis doesn't bother to mention it.
Apparently in Stantis's world liberals say these things about conservatives for absolutely no good reason. Without any proof or motivation it's the liberals who call names. For some odd reason guys like Stantis don't understand that if you, oh, I dunno, oppose a woman's right to chose you could possibly be called sexist. Or if you oppose gay marriage, you could be called homophobic. And so on.
But no, the eternal victim Stantis doesn't see that. He sees himself and President Bush and the Religious Right as the Greatest American Heroes, who can do no wrong and would never ever say or do ANYTHING that could be considered intolerant. Liberals, on the other hand, if a conservative might accidentally say or do something that someone might consider intolerant, are simply raving lunatics for pointing that out.
Ann Coulter calling John Edwards a faggot doesn't make her homophobic. It makes her a comedian.
Bill O'Reilly blaming the dead in that New York City fire because they *might* have been illegal aliens (he didn't know for sure) doesn't make him a racist. It makes him a concerned American.
General Pace calling gay sex immoral based on his religious beliefs doesn't make him homophobic based on religious intolerance. And so on, and so forth. You get the idea.
Stantis, maybe people call conservatives intolerant because you are.
Quick, name the last time a liberal was accused of being intolerant. Other than not wanting to tolerate conservative intolerance, of course.
Ooohh, did I just blow your mind? I hope I did.
But it's okay, Stantis. I still tolerate your being a whiny little victim. Because that's all you are anymore. Poor baby. Too bad the big bad liberals don't tolerate your unfunny scribbling.
Posted by The Furnace at 10:25 AM | Comments (2)March 12, 2007
You'd Think Scott Stantis Would Have a Larger Intellectual Footprint
Wow! Did you hear the news?? Al Gore -- champion of the environment -- uses ELECTRICITY! Can you believe it? ELECTRICITY!? In addition, he has a big house -- a MANSION, if you will -- and to run his MANSION he has to use A LOT of ELECTRICITY!
It is now clear that Al Gore has never cared about so-called Global Warming. In fact, his stance on the environment was nothing more than a gambit to curry favor with Hollywood with the ultimate goal to win an Oscar.
Well, you've got your Oscar, Al Gore. I bet you're going to put it in your MANSION that uses ELECTRICITY!
What are we going to learn next? That John Edwards -- advocate for the poor -- is a multi-millionaire who sometimes rides in...LIMOUSINES??
That Barack Obama's lineage includes slave owners???
That Hillary Clinton -- a Femi-Nazi who would sooner cut off a penis than give it the attention it deserves -- stood by and let her husband philander through their marriage????
Thank heaven for right-wing sponsored think tanks and the people who parrot their press release! What good they've brought to the world!
May God Bless America!
Posted by CJo at 07:34 AM | Comments (2)March 11, 2007
Suggestions for Stantis
Winslow tries to fly again. Nothing new here, nothing original. I'm sure if we went back we'd find variations on this drawing ever since PC started. No point in commenting. It's what Stantis does when he doesn't want to talk about politics or his obsession with tabloid journalism.
So I'm going to open up the floor to our commenters. I know it's Sunday so there aren't a lot of readers, but if you're checking on Monday I'd like to pose this question to you, our fearless readers:
How would you improve Prickly City?
Please make as many suggestions as you can come up with. We know Toby used to read the site, so maybe he'll see that people are trying to help.
March 10, 2007
The Hypocritical Oath (Or Newt's Law of Hypocrisy)
Guess who had an affair while impeaching the president for lying about his? Think Stantis will spend any time making cracks about this?
Winslow finally shaves his head (and the rest of himself) in order to get tabloid attention, just like Britney. Hopefully soon Stantis will make "jokes" about Britney's multiple suicide attempts. Ah yes, plenty of fun to be had at the expense of a troubled young girl with severe personal problems. I guess it's better than Winslow laying in a coffin saying, "I died just like Anna Nicole, why can't I get any tabloid attention? And who's my baby's daddy?"
So there you have it: two strips on how super amazingly awesome the economy is thanks to tax cuts for the rich, and the same number on how much Stantis supposedly hates tabloid news. I guess the economy isn't THAT great, huh Stantis? Otherwise I'd think you'd want to shove that in the noses of Democrats for quite some time. Maybe you realized after two days even you couldn't keep up the lie.
No, instead it's best to be JUST LIKE THE MEDIA YOU LOVE TO CRITICIZE, and turn your attention to silly tabloid stories like the astronaut and Anna Nicole and poor Britney. Why actually devote real time and energy promoting your political agenda (translated: lying to the public repeatedly) when it's easier to be like everybody else and whine and complain about how the media never covers the real news? Of course never realizing the hypocrisy of doing that exact same thing in your own forum.
I suppose it begs the question - what's worse: someone who uses their forum to reach the public to report on unimportant stories of celebrity gossip, or someone who uses that forum to whine and complain about those stories - essentially giving even more life to gossip that shouldn't have been reported on so much in the first place? I vote for number two.
Stantis, will you ever stop whining? My lord, you're like a little girl who just entered puberty who thinks the whole world is against her. "You Democrats are so mean! Why can't you just admit that the economy is wonderful (but please don't talk about the deficit or the debt or the housing market or the stock market or the government's own financial guru or anything else that indictates we're on the brink of a major recession - just look at this one tiny indicator that things look good, okay?)?" "You taboid people make me sick! Why do you just talk about Britney and thongs all the time!? I hate you I hate you I hate you!" "Stop persecuting me because I think global warming is a liberal conspiracy! Or I'm just gonna hold my breath and keep walking until I fall off the edge of our flat earth, you big meanies!"
Grow up, Stantis. Quit acting like a baby in every single damn strip. When was the last time you DIDN'T whine about something? You are the eternal victim, aren't you? Like too many conservatives who realize people are finally wising up to your lies, you're now resorting to "quit picking on me!" status to defend yourself and make your points. Just knock it off and grow up. If the economy is that great, tell us why. If global warming is a hoax, tell us how. If the Democrats are terrorists, please explain your evidence.
Otherwise, shut up, go away, and grow a pair.
March 09, 2007
Dirty Dirty Simulricks
There once was an intellectual runt
Who, faced with 4-and-1, would always punt
He'd complain and complain
About the Celeb Media game
Whilst slavering over Britney's bald head
*****
There once was a sniggering prude
Who found worship of celebrity quite rude
But when push came to shove
He too found that he loved
To metaphorically fondle Anna Nicole's story
*****
A man once had a conservative comic strip
Which never caught on; was not a hit
With nothing to say
He'd search for a way
To mention a diaper full of astronaut steamy emails
March 08, 2007
Lameways, Here We Come
Dedicated to Adam Smith
I don't care about the economy,
Perhaps it's the lack of money.
Just give me some goddamn comic strip laughs
And start making with the motherfucking funny.
March 07, 2007
Ah, good ole Stantis. Good ole dumb, reliable Stantis. He finally picked his moping, whining ass off the floor, adjusted his medication, and is now flying high over the reduced federal deficit which, of course, is a result of the tax cuts, stupid!
Alas, it is nothing more than a desert mirage that will be used by Conservatives to justify allowing the sated to drink more water than the dehydrated masses. It's fuzzy, bullshit math that hides the real problems and issues with this economy. Anyone catch the latest 60 Minutes?
At any rate, with this "news," expect a battle to make the tax cuts permanent. And expect more Conservative blowhards and commentators, like this un-signed OpEd from the same outfit that publishes Stantis' inane political cartoons, to wet themselves with glee.
Posted by CJo at 10:10 AM | Comments (5)March 06, 2007
Couch Potatoes
Apparently Stantis has some weird fixation on the guy who invented the remote control because we're getting a second helping of his man-crush on the guy today. What's irritating about Stantis is the two-faced nature of these few strips: on one hand he seems to be paying tribute to the man, but his punchlines are inevitably, "But you have hurt our culture by making technology better and ruined our families since we communicate less now because of you, so I'm glad you're dead." Maybe he doesn't mean it to come across that harshly, but we all know how much Stantis hates everything that isn't stuck in the 1950s tech-wise.
Really this is just a case of Stantis not wanting to talk about real political issues. He saw something in the paper or on Fox News and thought, "Gee, I can probably get two or three days' material out of this." It's why he spent several days on Carmen buying a book that ended up being a Bratz doll. Or a strip on a poll from a year ago on how people want things right now. Hey, you can't lie about things like global warming and what Howard Dean says every day.
I can't really blame Stantis. What else is he going to talk about? He can't go into the Walter Reed deal. The Libby jury is still out (and poor Dick Cheney had flown to every foreign country he can think of so he wouldn't be around when the verdict is delivered - now he's hiding with the VFW, even though he's got five deferments and never served a day in his life). Things get worse in Iraq every day (and it was roughly two weeks ago when Tony Blair announced England's troop withdrawl), and he wouldn't dare bring up Afghanistan and al Qaeda. Other than making fun of Hillary and Obama, he's politically very limited right now. Hence wasting our time talking about a man that Stantis probably hates as much as any Democrat because he made television better.
I'll leave it up to you guys: is it better that he's dawdling on this, or would you rather he do Anna Nicole "jokes?" Either way he's making jokes at the expense of someone's who has passed on. I can't wait for his podcast where he explains that he won't make Anna Nicole jokes out of respect for her family, but has had no problem with doing it to this guy. Ultimately he'll probably make fun of the judge in her case, long after everyone else has forgotten about that joker.
What's up for tomorrow? Hmm...when did Britney shave her head?
March 05, 2007
Let's Bow Our Heads
March 04, 2007
Opposite World
This is one of those times when it would be nice if Prickly City had more than two characters (other than "guests" like the easy-to-draw "fat guy with big nose in a hooded robe" or the other fat guy with a big nose, Ted Kennedy. Or Michael Moore. Or...you get the idea. Stantis only knows how to draw people he doesn't like as fat drunkards with big noses). It could have been cute to see Winslow roaring like a lion, Carmen looking sweet and innocent as a lamb, and then someone else (Dio maybe?) sitting on the crate of mint jelly holding the whip. But nope - instead we get Carmen doing the worst impression of a lamb EVER. How is that a lamb? Um, dude - easy way to draw a lamb is big huge blue eyes and a pink bow around the neck. Not some little girl looking like she just smoked a doob and is floating in the air.
My friend and I were having a conversation yesterday about success in the Bush world of politics. It came up because William Kristol now has a column in Time magazine. The same Bill Kristol who has been wrong about absolutely every single thing in the past six years, especially as it relates to the war in Iraq. But here he is, in one of America's most respected magazines - not to be ridiculed and held up as an example of the idiotic warmongers that got us into this mess, but instead to be worshipped as some kind of political insider who knows better than the rest of us. Maybe it's reverse psychology - they hope that by printing his thoughts everyone else in the country will be smart enough to realize they need to do the opposite of everything William the Bloody says. But that's doubtful.
Why is it that in conservative circles if you're wrong about everything, if you screw up everything you touch, and if you're completely bankrupt of ideas and corrupt in everything you do, you're promoted and rewarded? Across the board the Bush Administration is filled with people who failed miserably working for us, and then have turned around and given medals of freedom, cushy high-paying jobs, and the last thing they deserve: respect.
On the other hand, if you actually do your job and do it well you're punished. Look at the recent case where upwards of eight prosecutors across the country that were fired for political reasons (www.talkingpointsmemo.com has the best general coverage of the story - unfortunately the "liberal" media has been dragging its feet). One of them caught and punished Duke Cunningham. Another refused to bow to the pressure of two Republican members of Congress when they wanted him to rush and file charges against a Democrat in his town because they wanted to influence the fall elections. And all of them received positive reviews of their work.
And how did Bush repay them? Fired their asses. That'll show 'em what happens when you don't do everything the Republican Leadership tells them to do. How dare you actually hold Republicans accountable?
Scott Stantis and Prickly City are just another reminder that in our crazy, mixed-up, Conservative political world if you're an absolute failure at everything you do you're bound to get promoted. I dare ONE editor to come forward and say, "Prickly City is a hysterical, educational, well-drawn comic strip and it's the best one we carry in our newspaper." Just one. Come on, there has to be at least one editor who firmly believes that there aren't any comic strips out there good enough to replace Prickly City. Someone who's willing to put his reputation on the line and say, "Prickly City is the best."
Hmm, now that I use that reverse psychology, maybe the editors out there are hoping they fail by putting PC in their papers, so they too can get promoted and rewarded with better jobs and more money. That's the only way I can explain why Scott Stantis is still given space to lie about everything he doesn't agree with. And be unfunny while doing it.
March 03, 2007
An Inconvenient Lack Of Jokes
An example of conservative humor.
What do you do if you're a conservative and you want to make fun of anyone who doesn't agree with you, but the facts don't back up what you're saying? You just tell your "jokes" anyway, of course - because the only people who'll find them funny are other conservatives just like you who don't have a good sense of humor in the first place.
Where exactly is this bizarro world where conservatives like Stantis live? He's not alone there - check out Mormon Mitt Romney at the Conservative Political Action Conference yesterday. In his world Massachusetts is evil (even though he was governor there), the "liberal" media is evil (despite their non-reporting of his best bud forever Ann Coulter calling John Edwards a faggot), and of course Nancy Pelosi is the most evil person in the world because she's from *gasp* San Francisco. As one blogger opined this morning: if Mitt is going to spend the entire election trashing his home state, is he going to do the same thing about America when he travels the world?
Conservatives are apparently the ultimate victims. Everyone is against them. The big bad liberal media is out to get them, despite the fact that John McCain and Barack Obama can say that American lives have been wasted in Iraq yet McCain gets a pass while Obama was History's Greatest Monster. In their world George W. Bush was the Best President Ever - until it wasn't popular anymore. Iraq is going exactly as planned in their twisted minds, and it's because liberals talk about doing something other than the same thing over and over that we *might* not be winning (but victory - whatever that is - is our only option).
Honestly, it hurts my head if I think about it too much. But maybe that's because I have a mind of my own and I don't rely on Rush and O'Reilly to tell me what to think.
This whole week of Prickly City strips has been Stantis wanting things to be the way he sees them when they're not. In his world HE'S the one who wants to "Think Globally, Act Locally" - not Al Gore, who made a whole freakin' movie with that as the main point. Stantis would know that if he actually saw "An Inconvenient Truth," but I'm betting he didn't. Then Stantis refers to the carbon footprint, another key point in the movie and the movement, for today's "punchline." See what I meant about it making your head hurt? If Carmen is the one who wants to think globally and act locally, why is Winslow the one talking about the reducing your carbon footprint, which is the epitome of acting locally?
I would love to see Stantis's evidence that man has nothing to do with global warming. Instead of warmed over rhetoric from warming deniers, lets see your facts and figures. Oh, wait - you could care less about facts. They have a liberal bias.
I'm really sorry that I spent a good chunk of the last few months of 2006 complaining that Stantis wasn't spending enough time on one storyline each week. Now that he's doing that it's far more painful than one-offs about Britney's cooch. Stantis actually thinks he's making cogent political points now, when he's not. And heaven help him he still thinks he's funny.
There should be a poll of Prickly City readers who actually think it's a good comic strip. I have a feeling the number would be around 29%.
March 02, 2007
Mr. Wizard's World
Ah, yes. Perfect. I love when Conservative-based thinkers try to delve into science. They've got such a great track record in that regard. God created heaven and earth. The world is flat. Photosynthesis occurs when angels eat salads for dinner. Earthquakes are God's revenge for Mankind sticking its penis inside another Mankind. The Square Root of Clinton is 666. Etc.
I'll leave the "30 Years Ago You Would Have Argued that Global Cooling was Man's Fault" argument for someone more qualified to dispute. I'd hate to come off half-baked and ignorant like Stantis after reading Wikipedia for 5 minutes.
Then again, I don't want to stifle scientific research. I don't want to jerry-rig studies to cherry-pick facts to make a 'slam-dunk' case for a War on Science.
Posted by CJo at 10:45 AM | Comments (2)March 01, 2007
Bumper? Sticker? I Hardly Etc.
Why can't those stupid liberals live up to the lofty standards of bumper-sticker philosophy like conservatives do?
picture courtesy of JB