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January 12, 2007
Miss Trollop
Even though the Miss USA "scandal" was waaaaaaaaaay back in 2006, Stantis feels the need to bring it up again here in the new year. Granted, this time he got lucky in that Donald Trump's name is still flitting about in the atmosphere due to something or other with Rosie O'Donnell...a feud, apparently, about which I know neither the genesis nor the substance.
So he got lucky. Good for him. How does the old saying go? Even a blind, ignorant squirrel can find his nuts if he digs around in his pants long enough?
Speaking of, I'm glad that he let us in on his little wank-off secret. Now that he has internet access, he no longer needs to use VCR+ to set ye olde VHS machine to tape the Miss USA pageant so he can watch young women in bathing suits parade around in slo-mo. All he's gotta do is dial-up the modem to AOL and search for keyword Swimsuit. Exercise that shoulder, buddy!
By the way, did you know there's a War on Childhood in America. Our children can't even pick up the funny pages without reading about the masturbatory fantasies of a middle-aged man. Is that all women in swimsuits are for? "Is THAT the self-image we want to foist on our little girls?!!"
Comments
Didn't the Sears catalogue and the National Geographic also do a number on swimsuit competitions? And both are easier to smuggle into the bathroom than a TV.
Posted by: Annie at January 12, 2007 10:41 AM
I like the whole "nobody cares about Miss USA -ergo, we should discuss something that nobody cares about" angle.
Works on so many levels.
A) He won't draw in the multitudes of people who don't care, as he's already aware;
B) he'll alienate those few that actually might care;
and C) he's walking around in his robe with an armsling while smoking a corncob pipe and uttering things such as "ergo."
Posted by: Sacki at January 12, 2007 03:09 PM
"War on Childhood?" So I'm supposing, that with a typical Conservative response, there should be a War on the War on Childhood?
Is it just me or is it a tad ironic that all of the jackasses who skipped on active duty are so hot to trot now to declare war on anything and everything under the sun?
Posted by: Dag at January 13, 2007 01:17 AM
