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January 28, 2007
Future Goggles: I Think I See The End...And It's Close
Three simple words: WTF? It's yet another variation on Winslow trying to fly today, but he's actually doing a decent job since he's skiing (apparently Stantis realized that it DID snow over most of New Mexico and Arizona last weekend despite his poorly timed Winslow shoveling strip). So where does he land? With his head in Carmen's...slushy? Huh? Again - wtf? At the VERY least couldn't he have landed in her sno-cone? Odds are one person chuckled at today's strip, but Stantis's wife doesn't count since she's supposed to laugh at everything he says and does. Sorry, but today's strip is just another reminder of how Stantis seems to have given up. And I say it's about time, because the sense around Shrubville is that we're about to give up on him too.
With that said it might be time to slap on the Future Goggles(c) one last time:
- A few weeks back Bush, after a month-long listening tour where everyone except for John McCain told him to get out of Iraq, told the country that he was sending in MORE troops - 21,500 to be exact. Seriously, ONE person - St. McCain - wanted 20,000 or so troops. Oh, wait, I'm sorry - McCain didn't honestly think that Bush would do it, so instead of the 20,000 troops he called for in October 2006 McCain revised his own history and said that we really needed more like 30,000 troops. Boy, must suck to McCain nowadays, doesn't it? The guy is hoping the war continues until 2008 but he doesn't want things to get any worse - just maintain the status quo until he can get into office. But he has to look "tough on terror," so why not call for more troops at a time when everybody is saying we have to pull out? Except that damn George W. actually listened to him - ignored the Iraq Study Group, ignored his own generals (who were then forced to resign or retire), ignored all of the Democratic plans (and there are at least 3 despite what Tony Snow says), and - maybe most importantly - ignored 69% of the American public's desire to get the hell out of the New Viet Nam. It'd be a lot easier to feel bad for McCain if I didn't feel so horrible for all of the families that are directly effected by the war.
(PC Prediction: Carmen and Winslow stand in the desert. Carmen says she wants more troops so we can finally win, just like the president says, and anyone who disagrees hates America and wants the terrorists to win. Winslow says he's a Democrat, just like Joe Lieberman, and couldn't agree more.)
- Speaking of which, Stantis might bring up the exchange between Democratic Senator Barbara Boxer and Conde Rice where Boxer pointed out that none of her family are of service age and Conde doesn't have any kids, so who really pays the price for us being over there? Of course the Republicans went ape-sh!t crazy, saying that Boxer was attacking Rice for not being married and having children and Tony Snow (there he is again) said that it was a huge blow to the women's movement. Gee, did he say that when Laura Bush pointed out that Conde wasn't married, didn't have kids, and her parents are dead and that's why she'll never be President? I didn't think so.
(PC Prediction: Carmen whines about how Barbara Boxer hates single women and maybe even uses the term "lynching" like Comedian Rush Limbaugh said (god is that guy a racist). Winslow makes some leering comment about wanting to give her his babies. Everyone cringes.)
- Bush named a Navy Admirial to be the new commander of CentCom, the first time a sailor has been assigned the post. At a time when we're fighting TWO ground wars. Shortly after that Bush told the world he was moving ships into position to "monitor" Iran. Hmmmmm...
(PC Prediction: Carmen starts talking about how we need to invade Iran. Winslow nods in agreement, thinking it's 2002 and the same way the Administration lied us into war with Iraq works just fine for Iran too.)
- Oh, it was Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. Since Stantis didn't plan ahead I wonder if he'll make mention of it. Probably not.
(PC Prediction: Carmen and Winslow both make jokes about John Edwards being a trial lawyer or Hillary being a bitch. Hillarity does not ensue.)
It'll be interesting to see what Stantis actually does this week. Two weeks back the focus was on Bush sending more troops to Iraq and setting us up to go to war with Iran, so it'll be hard for Stantis to ignore that - especially now that he seems open to the idea of spending an entire week on a single political subject. Of course he botched that with the unfunny, non-sensical stem cell strips this past week, but that's never stopped him before. Instead he'll probably ignore those issues since they're actually political and the vast majority of Americans are against staying in Iraq and going to war with Iran (even though Stantis - Bush's #1 fan - is probably all in favor of both).
What was Britney Spears doing a few weeks ago? Were there any stories about TV making kids fat? Maybe Carmen finally got ahold of Winslow's cell phone and she's addicted to texting...
