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December 10, 2006
Nope, You Can't Make a Desert "Snow" Angel
Oh great, Stantis gives us a semi-cute joke about desert "snow" angels and follows it up with a lame burnt hair joke. Wonderful. We sure can't get enough of those at Prickly City. Should have quit when you were ahead. And instead of having Winslow on top of a rock he might have had a better shot at making an angel in the sand. Last time I checked, you could leave a footprint in sand - why not a sand angel? Bah. You suck Stantis.
It was nice to see PC tackle politics again, after getting off the the stupid retread of the "Winslow loves a celebrity who then gets a restraining order against him" storyline we're all pretty sick of by now. The big question is if Stantis can keep it up. He can't tell us there isn't enough material to keep things interesting: this is one of the most exciting times in recent political history, especially if you're a Republican looking to criticize the Democrats for EVERYTHING. I can't wait for a few weeks from now when he slams the Baker-Hamilton Commission for basically giving Bush everything he wants in regards to the war in Iraq, and the "blistering" report that says the Republicans knew Mark Foley was a sexual predator but turned a blind eye so it wouldn't hurt their political standing but nobody was guilty of doing anything wrong. Oops, I guess the Republicans are still the ones screwing everything up. At least they wrote up a new budget for 2007, right? Right?
I'm not sure if I should slap on the Future Goggles. Two weeks ago most of the talk was about Iraq. Bush wants to stay the course for the next fifty years so history can show he's just another misunderstood Harry S. Truman. McCain and Lieberman - the MMINOs (Maverick Moderates In Name Only) - want to send 20,000 more troops. The Dems went from campaigning on redeployment to buckling under to whatever the mystical Iraq Study Group was going to recommend - which they had to have known would just be a way to cover Bush's behind. And the Republicans in general were mum since they're still in shock they lost both houses of Congress and over half of the governorships. Then we find out last week we're probably going to stay forever just like the Fratboy In Chief wants, and the amazing conservative machine somehow yet again reframes the debate to make "stay the course" the "mainstream" position, even though nearly three quarters of the public want us to redeploy within two years, while 60% want us out in SIX MONTHS.
But I think the bigger story at the time was the whole OJ Simpson "If I Did It" debacle. Clever cartoonists have spent the last few weeks making jokes about how Bush will do the same thing when he leaves office in reference to his lying us into war in Iraq. What will Stantis do with it? Suffice to say it won't make us laugh, and it'll probably piss off most of us.
Personally I would love to see Stantis go after one of his heroes: Newt Gingrich. Newt went in front of a First Amendment rights group and said we need to...well, trash our First Amendment rights because the big bad scary terrorists want to blow us all up. And this guy wants to be president. He'd be a perfect follow-up to Bush, he of the illegal spying, illegal torture prisons, and illegal invading of foreign countries - right after King George we can have King Newt. At least Super-Republican Scott Stantis would be happy.
Oh, wait - has Stantis made any jokes about "Black Friday" Thanksgiving shopping and the Playstation 3? Get ready for a week of Nintendo Wii jokes and maybe some Britney Spears anti-panty shots.
