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October 31, 2006
The Horror, The Horror
Ho hum. While Carmen and Winslow are trick or treating they look up into the sky and see a witch. This leads to the obvious Bush Republican punchline: both of them saying, "Hillary??!" Why Winslow is saying it is beyond me since he's supposed to be a smelly stinky liberal. At the very least have him say, "Lynn Cheney?!?" Luckily Stantis didn't go with yet another Nancy Pelosi reference.
Yup, Hillary Clinton is the Big Bad. Be afraid, be very afraid. I hear she mostly comes out at night...mostly. I can just imagine the horrors of her tenure if she gets elected to the Presidency in 2008:
- she spends the first 8 months on vacation, ignoring terrorist warnings
- she sits idly by in a classroom while terrorists attack and she's informed that "America is under attack"
- she waits a month to go after the guy who coordinated those attacks
- she then spends the next year convincing Americans to invade a country that had nothing to do with the attacks, saying they did have ties and WMDs that were an imminent threat
- she illegally spies on us in the meantime
- she runs up a debt into the trillions while telling everyone the economy is going strong
- she opens secret prisons around the world
- the war she started on lies goes horribly wrong, but she keeps saying "stay the course" - until she claims she never said that
- she then grabs people off the street, names them enemy combatants, and tortures them forever
- she authorizes torturing our enemies*
*Oops - sorry about that last one - she's already been given the power to decide what's torture.
Yeah, Stantis and the Republicans are right - nothing could possibly be more terrifying than Hillary taking office. Nothing at all.
Enjoy the next two years, folks. I'm sure we ain't seen nothing yet.
October 30, 2006
Bumper Grinder
Stantis -- champion of the little people -- once again attacks another corporation that has made a business decision to declare Chapter 11. It's inspiring individuals like Stantis -- fighting the power, not believing the hype, bringing the noise, bum-rushing the show -- that make our country great. He's like a modern-day Eugene Debs. Or a white Carlton Douglas Ridenhour. Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man.
And what an inspirational message to send out the week before the mid-terms elections, too! Hang the rich who hide behind their protective layers of laws! Take to the streets and throw out those who abuse their power! Rise up, America! Rise up and take this country back from the corrupt forces of lying cheaters! RISE UP!
I don't use the word "hero" very often, but you, Scott, are the greatest hero in American history.
Posted by CJo at 08:13 AM | Comments (3)October 29, 2006
Worst Comic Strip In The World
Ladies and gentleman, I present to you today what could very well be the worst Prickly City ever. And that's REALLY saying something.
The set-up is simple: Carmen and Winslow encounter each other while trick or treating. They see each other's horrible masks (politically-related, of course) and run away screaming.
Pretty easy huh? Not for Scott Stantis.
Panel 1: Winslow and Carmen walk towards each other with a giant banana hanging in the sky.
Can someone please teach him how to draw a moon? Come on!
Panel 2: Carmen points at Winslow and yells, "Nancy Pelosi!" Winslow looks at Carmen and screams, "Shannen Doherty!"
What the F*CK??? Where do I start? First off, Stantis continues his bizarre practice of having a Democrat dress up like his hero (last year Winslow was Al Franken, Ted Kennedy, and Michael Moore). At first you think, "Oh, cuz he wants to scare Republicans." But as I pointed out last year, that's like Scott Stantis donning a Dick Cheney or George W. Bush or John McCain mask - would a Dem really want to insult one of his own by making fun of their appearance? It would be a whole lot more fun (and make a whole lot more sense) for me to dress up on Halloween as Donald Rumsfeld instead of Harry Reid.
On top of that, Stantis insists on making Winslow wear a Nancy Pelosi mask, continuing the proud Prickly City tradition of making fun of an elderly woman's looks. Bravo, Mr. Stantis. It takes real BALLS for you to stand up and make such a brave criticism. While you're at it, why don't you make a claim that Michael J. Fox is probably faking having Parkinson's - you'll fit right in with the rest of the Republican blowhards who would rather throw around personal insults than actually discuss the issues using facts.
Maybe I wouldn't be so hard on Stantis if Carmen was wearing a political mask. But Poor Scott Stantis is sooooo afraid of alienating his Republican base that he has her wearing a...Shannen Doherty mask??? Again I ask, what the f*ck? When was the last time she was relevant? Yeah I know she has some show on TV now about breaking up couples, but does anyone watch it? And what does she have to do with politics? It's not like she's a well known celebrity Republican - I could *maybe* understand Winslow being scared by a Charlton Heston or Ah-nold mask - and I don't even have a clue who Doherty is supporting this November 7th. And I doubt Stantis does either. He was just flipping stations one night, saw that she was acting like a bitch on her show, and decided it would be much safer to use her instead of the logical choice of a Republican.
The reality is this was an easy gag for Stantis: if he was going to scare Carmen with Pelosi, she should scare Winslow wearing a Dennis Hastert mask. But no - lord knows he can't offend the Bush Republicans like himself. At least he didn't make another offensive Mark Foley joke.
Panel 3: And finally the cherry on top: Carmen and Winslow run away from each other screaming, and I quote: "AWWWWWWWWWA." No exclamation points needed.
As CJo and I have pointed out numerous times: who the hell yells "aww" or "awa" when they're frightened? The preferred term is "AHHHHHH!" And no, it's not "AHHHHA!" - that would be read as "gotcha" or "I understand." But nobody is going to convince Stantis that "awwwa" somehow stands for terror. What an idiot.
The only thing that might keep this from being the worst ever is that Stantis actually planned ahead and realized Halloween was on Tuesday. Usually this would be a joke we'd see on Thanksgiving.
So there you have it: today's nominee for Worst Comic Strip in the World (and yes, I'm paying tribute to Keith Olbermann - the only newsman outside of Jack Cafferty worth watching anymore). Granted tomorrow Stantis will probably top himself like he always does. I just wish if he was going to continue to suck so bad he'd find new and better ways to suck. Instead it's the same old, same old - poor drawings, non-sensical "jokes," dated references, and words nobody uses. In other words he's just like Bush Republicans who have nothing new to offer us in these elections, yet they'll probably keep their jobs. And that's really scary.
October 28, 2006
And Now, The I Didn't Do It Dancers
Somebody needs to teach Stantis the comedy rule of threes - that if something is funny once, you can do it two more times, but then knock it off. Of course that requires the first thing you say to be funny, and nobody's taught Stantis how do that either.
So instead we get the sixth(!) bumper sticker of the week: "Don't blame me. I didn't vote yet." Don't you just love when Stantis says something that reveals a whole lot more about himself than he intended?
This strip sums him up perfectly. As a "Stantis Republican" he's never at fault. Apparently we can't blame him and the other Republicans for voting for Bush and his cronies for the past six years - that silly minority of Democrats in the Congress have somehow ruined all of their plans. Even though Bush has only vetoed one bill, and that was federal funding for embryonic stem cell research (oh and look for "jokes" about Michael J. Fox in a few weeks. Hopefully not six of them). No, the smelly stinky stupid liberals are the ones to blame for everything bad.
Hell, we can already blame them if they win on November 7th! Stantis says so right here - he's hedging his bets. If the Republicans win, and they continue to trash our Constitution and drive our country into the ground, he'll claim he voted libertarian or whatever. If the Democrats win, he'll blame Evil Nancy Pelosi for wanting something called "checks and balances," whatever that is. Of course that doesn't explain why Stantis has been following the Republican Talking Points all week long, but whatever.
You see, Scott Stantis and the Republicans are never to blame. You don't think his strip is funny? It's because you're not smart enough to understand it. You don't think the economy is doing well? You're not trying hard enough to be in the top ten percent that's doing fantastic. You think the war in Iraq is going poorly? You're not staying the course*.
(*Sorry - I forgot they're not saying "stay the course" anymore.)
So much like a spoiled little bitch, don't blame Stantis and the Republicans. They can't help themselves. If they did something wrong, it's because they have a problem with alcohol. Or they were molested by priests as a child. Or they've been infected with a disease called "Republicrat-itis." Or you just don't "get" their humor.
I've got an idea Stantis: why don't you and the Republicans try something called "taking responsibility." And while you're at it, grow a pair. Because I'm sick and tired of a bunch of ball-less wonders telling me how great and funny they are while the country falls apart.
October 27, 2006
None of the Above
Good call, Scott; good call. Rally your troop of loyal Prickly City readers and podcast listeners to stay home on Election Day. The 20-30 votes not cast for some hillbilly candidate in Alabama MIGHT be the difference between a Republican and a Democratic congress.
So sit home and watch a "Green Acres" marathon. I bet that Arnold Ziffel really cracks your shit up.
And when you're sitting at home you can figure out which Halloween-masked candidate you'll back in '08:
The Neo-Conservative dressed as Maverick
The Hatchet Man dressed as the Great American Hero
The Mormon Pawn dressed as a Featherweight Political Boob
Good call, Scott; good call. None of the Above.
Posted by CJo at 08:49 AM | Comments (2)October 26, 2006
Bumper? Sticker? I Hardly Know Er!
Getting close to Halloween: it's spooky.
I just read the same line of attack in today's strip from the peerless Michelle Malkin in reference to the Democrats:
On this, the two-week anniversary of the last editorial cartoon published by our Prickly City author in this, the year of your loard 2006, could it be that he and the peerless Ms. Maglalang Mrs. Malkin are together on a confab (it's something grown-ups do) and sipping on Country-Time Lemonade while talking about grown-up topics like Jeffrey Dahmer and gay cannibals? But they were led into it by Liberal Democrat Nancy Pelosi of course; her puckered face reminds them of drinking good old lemonade and her Liberal Democrat San Francisco policies remind them of gay cannibals (on crack!). Why can't Liberal Democrat Nancy Pelosi grow up and stop talking about gay cannibals?
October 25, 2006
Bumpin' and Stickin'
I don't want to get all obsessively juvenile and "kick the retarded kid when he's down" (Wassssup, B? Long time, no see, dude/chick. Yes, we're still at it here. I hope you are still doing whatever very-important-to-society work you are doing that allows you to sit on high and once-a-year wag a finger down at those who spend a few minutes a day reacting to a comic strip...), but Stantis sure is pretty vacant these days. Where's the wit? Where's the wisdom? Where's the...oh, wait. Right. It was never there. Today is just another day of a bad idea executed poorly. Another joke that lacks not only a "j" and an "o" but also a "k" and an "e." Another piece of scribbled filler to submit for a bucket of nickels.
Also, is he shifting his stance on Foley? Last week he was steaming mad at dirt. Today, his tone is dismissive, almost flip. "Ha ha ha ha, that Mark Foley sure knows how to use the Internet, don't he!"
And you all know what is inevitable after flip. Yes, that's right: a flop. This current political climate really has Scott confused. It's almost as if he's shifting his stance to whichever way the prevailing political winds are blowing. He doesn't know whether he is coming or going. But, hey, flip-flopping is now en vogue in the Republican party. Scott's just glomming on to the latest trends. Silly Conservative; Trends are for Liberals!
Posted by CJo at 08:45 AM | Comments (3)October 24, 2006
Stantis Stays the Course
President George W. Bush is a liar.
Is it okay to say that now? I mean I know in the past we weren't supposed to - not in a time of war, maybe it was faulty intelligence, he didn't really mean that, blah blah blah - but if you say we're "stay the course" for three years and then say "we've never been stay the course," YOU'RE A LIAR.
It just shows the desperate measures these Bush Republicans will go to in order to stay in power.
Now notice how I didn't say "Republicans." No, these folks are totally devoted to The Leader and will do whatever Bush tells them to do. Congress is filled with them, as are a good number of the Red States. Bush wants torture? They give it to him. Bush wants to kill habeas corpus? They torture it until it's nearly dead so Bush can put the final bullet in its brain. They're Bush Republicans.
Scott Stantis is a perfect example of a Bush Republican. Oh sure now he might be whining that there are "Republicrats" in charge, but then he still goes ahead and follows the Bush Republican Talking Points like a good little toady. Yesterday it was "ooh Scary Nancy Pelosi might take over."
Today it's Harry Reid's "shady land deal." First off, if you're going to talk about this issue fucking get the facts straight before you go writing about it. Reid bought the land for $400,000, transferred it to an LLC, and then the company sold it for $1.1 million. That means Reid made a profit of $700,000 you nitwit - what, they don't teach simple subtraction in your No Child Left Behind school?
And ultimately Reid didn't do anything wrong (check out the article or do a google and you'll see that he probably should have written something to Congress about transferring it to a limited liability, but other than that there was nothing "shady" or unethical about this). Instead it was yet another story from AP writer John Solomon, who has a boner for Reid and is trying to take him down whenever he can (firstly trying to connect Reid to Abramoff and failing - just like Stantis, and secondly by some stupid boxing story - and Reid has been vindicated each time). Ah yes, the liberal media. They'll make up shit about Harry Reid, but the President says he's never been stay the course? Just move on to the next question, George S.
You want to talk about shady land deals? Let's talk about Dennis Hastert buying land in the middle of nowhere and then gave his state earmarks to build a highway to that land. He made a sweet $2 million on that deal (that's $1.3 million more than Reid made without using tax payer dollars to line his own pocket, for those of you like Stantis who can't fucking work a calculator).
It's just one more sign of how desperate and pathetic the Bush Republicans are getting as November 7th approaches. They'll lie and just make shit up while they're making fun of a senior citizen's appearance and swearing they're not blind followers of Bush while sucking his dick the whole time. That's why I think they've already won on November 7th - these people aren't above rigging elections. In fact, they're counting on it.
And if you disagree, there's a nice warm cell in a secret prison with a waterboard in the corner with your name on it.
Posted by The Furnace at 08:01 AM | Comments (5)October 23, 2006
Liberal Woman Talons
Scott Stantis, you ignorant hack. Do you and your hack monkey asshole right-wing blog and AM Radio friends have nothing better to do than demonize Nancy Pelosi? Do you REALLY think you'll rile the troops enough to save the House from her evil Liberal Woman Talons? What a sad desperate group of sad desperate assholes.
And you've been at it a while, haven't you, buddy boy. Once a month since July you've dropped her name, hoping to build into a crescendo of hate and fear come November 7th.
Let's review those strips and what message you're trying to impart.
July 27th: "Boy is she a cold bitch. Wouldn't it make the world a cold place if that cold bitch were Speaker?"
August 6th: "Look everyone, I make fun of the physical appearance of people. Make sure to cast your votes based on the physical appearance of others. I might later go off on a rant on how Liberals never attack the message, they instead attack the person. But in the meantime, look at her. How could SHE ever be Speaker."
September 27th: "I have no fucking clue what I'm doing anymore."
No wonder the LA Times just dumped your strip, Scott. The national appetite for dutifully lapping up regurgitated Right Wing Talking Points is just about nil.
If you have any questions as to why the mood of the country has passed you by, Stantis, I encourage to read, re-read, print out and post on your fridge so you can re-read again and again the Furnace's collection of unanswered questions from the last six years as posted yesterday.
And if you have any further questions about the questions, I encourage to take a hard, deep, long look in the mirror.
Posted by CJo at 09:32 AM | Comments (4)October 22, 2006
Why?
Poor Carmen. Every time she sees a sunset, she's *haunted* by questions like "Why are we here?" and "What is our purpose?" (I put asteriks around "haunted" because I thought it was kinda creepy that an eight year old would use that word. Why can't she "wonder" or heck even "ponder?")
Anywho, doesn't she know there's a simple answer for a Good Christian Republican? It's whatever God's plan is for her. Yeesh. Somebody needs to go to church on Sunday mornings instead of sitting on a rock talking about her love of Tucker Carlson.
When I watch a sunset, here is a short list of questions I have:
- Why did we invade Iraq?
- Why doesn't anybody talk about Afghanistan anymore?
- Why did gas prices "mysteriously" drop right before the elections?
- Why doesn't anybody talk about mine safety anymore?
- Whatever happened to the Republicans' plan for illegal immigration?
- Why is it guys like Bob Ney and Mark Foley get away with sneaking into rehab after they've either pleaded guilty to corruption or sexually preying on teenage boys?
- Why haven't there been any investigations into potential vote tampering with electronic voting machines?
- When did Dennis Hastert know about Foley, and why does he keep going around saying he told Foley resign when he claims he didn't hear about it until after Foley left?
- Why would President Bush campaign with a man who admitted to having a mistress and settled out of court with her when she sued him for abusing her?
- Whatever happened to President Bush's Mission to Mars?
- How did North Korea develop a nuke under Bush's watch but not under Clinton?
- How did Bush run up an 8 trillion dollar debt and a 400 million dollar defict if the economy is doing so great?
- Why do corporations get tax breaks but the middle class doesn't?
- Why were the guys who ran Unocal put in charge of Afghanistan after we invaded there?
- Why did the Republicans hold 140 hours of hearings on whether or not Clinton had used the White House Christmas list to ask for campaign contributions (he didn't), but only 12 hours on the atrocities happening down in Guantanamo?
- How did 19 guys with box cutters working on commands for a dying man living in a cave in the Middle East take down four planes, two towers, and the Pentagon?
- Why did Condi ignore a warning that Osama would strike as far back as July 10th, 2001?
- Why did Bush ignore a warning that Osama would strike as far back as August 6th, 2001?
- Why did they only start screening passengers for potential liquid explosives after the British Bomber plot was foiled?
- Why did they scale back those screenings only a few weeks later?
- Why does Karl Rove, who has admitted playing a part in the Valerie Plame outing, still have access to all White House documents?
- Why did the Bush administration out Valerie Plame in the first place?
- Why didn't they listen to Plame or her husband Joseph Wilson when they told the White House that Iraq didn't have WMDs and wasn't planning on making or getting any?
- Why hasn't the Iraqi oil paid for the Iraq reconstruction?
- Why did Bush spend months telling us that Social Security needed fixing, yet when the American public told him they didn't want to privatize it he stopped talking about fixing it and has yet to offer an alternative plan to privatization?
- Why don't the White House reporters ask harder questions?
- Why does anyone think Fox News is fair and balanced?
- Where's Osama?
- Why doesn't Bush try to catch Osama?
- Why did they delay the Saddam ruling from July to November 5th, 2006 - two days before the elections?
- Why is the Bush administration calling for timelines in Iraq now after saying for years anyone who calls for timelines wants to cut and run?
- What is victory in Iraq?
- What is the strategy in Iraq?
- Why did George Felix Allen Jr. think anyone would believe that he just made up the word "Macaca" or that it was somehow a twist on the word "mohawk?"
- Why would a Republican send out flyers to Hispanics in his district telling them that if they vote - even if they're legal residents - that they could get arrested?
- Why did the Republicans want to hand over our port security to a country that has known terrorist ties?
- Why are they still not inspecting cargo coming into our country five years after 9/11 and have yet to offer an alternative to Dubai?
- Why is Ken Blackwell allowed to run for governor of Ohio while he's allowed to be in charge of elections in that state?
- Why did Joe Lieberman say he wouldn't run as an Independent if he lost the Democratic primary and then run as one when he lost?
- Why are the Republicans abandoning the Republican candidate in Connecticut and are instead helping Lieberman - who claims he's a Democrat?
- Why aren't Republicans calling for Bob Ney, who just pleaded guilty to corruption charges due to dealings with Jack Abramoff, to resign from Congress?
- Why didn't the Democrats filibuster Alito?
- Why did the Republicans kill habeas corpus?
- Why is Bush allowed to illegally spy on us?
- Why are their secret prisons around the world?
- Why do we torture people?
- Why is there still no memorial at Ground Zero?
- Why is Donald Rumsfeld still Secretary of Defense?
- Why did Dick Cheney shoot an old man in the face?
- Why didn't our troops get the body armor they need and have to buy their own?
- Why does the military only allow their troops to read right wing websites and not left-leaning ones?
- Why did Republicans rewrite the bankruptcy laws with the lobbyists so they only help corporations?
- Why did it take NORAD so long to respond on 9/11?
- Why, after knowing global warming is a threat, does Bush continue to strip environment regulations on corporations?
- Why didn't the federal government do more about Katrina?
- Why is Medicare D the best we can do for our seniors?
- Why are votes held open on the floor of Congress for hours when they're only supposed to take fifteen minutes?
- Why was Tom Delay allowed to gerrymander Texas?
- Why did Bush say the tax cuts for the rich in 2001 were only temporary in order to "jumpstart the economy," say the economy is strong, and then push to make those tax cuts permanent?
- Why did the administration ignore all of the evidence that Iraq wasn't a threat?
- Why did Bush say that Iraq had terrorist ties when they didn't, and he knew they didn't?
- Why didn't the Downing Street Memo get more attention here in the States?
- Why did President Bush lie about the number of embryonic stem cell lines that were available to scientists?
- Whatever happened to the Coalition of the Willing and why are the British the only ones still fighting with us in Iraq?
- Why did corporations send so many careers to India and Pakistan instead of employing Americans?
- Why do people have to work two jobs to make ends meet if the economy is so strong?
- Why don't we have Universal Healthcare while every other industrial nation does?
- Why do we have one of the worst infant mortality rates in the industrialized world?
- Why was President Bush's first veto of federal funding for embryonic stem cell research, five years into his Presidency?
- Why did World Trade Center Building #7 collapse if it wasn't hit by a plane, only had some small fires inside, and was literally around the block from where the Twin Towers were built?
- Why do we have a rising poverty rate if the economy is so strong?
- Why don't electronic voting machines have a paper trail?
- Why are Keith Olbermann and Jack Cafferty the only newsmen who speak out against the Administration?
- Why does President Bush issue a signing statement for every piece of legislation he signs into law?
- Why does Nancy Pelosi scare Republicans so much?
- Why don't the Republicans have any checks and balances of the Presidency?
- Why does President Bush have more power than any other president in history?
- Why did Bush call leaders of the Religious Right "nutjobs?"
- Why haven't the Republicans done more about banning gay marriage and abortions when those are the key issues that help them win every year?
- What happened to John McCain to make him Bush 3?
- Why was Harriet Myers nominated to be a Supreme Court justice and then almost immediately have her nomination withdrawn?
- Why did the Republicans write a law for one person - Terri Schiavo?
- Why is the administration planning to invade Iran when they're losing in Iraq and Afghanistan?
- Why are Bush and Condi and Rumsfeld and Cheney allowed to say things like, "No one could have anticipated the ______" when obviously people did anticipate those things?
- Why wasn't John McCain at the signing of the Military Commissions Act after so strongly fighting for the legislation that would allow President Bush to name anyone he chooses as an enemy combatant and what constitutes torture?
- Why did Bush spend ten minutes reading a children's book on 9/11/2001 after being told "America is under attack?"
- Why did Bush ignore President Clinton's warnings about Osama?
- Why has Bush yet to embrace alternative energy sources?
- Why are lobbyists allowed to write legislation?
- Why did Jack Abramoff visit the White House more than 400 times?
- Why did Jeff Gannon visit the White House so many times?
- Why do people on the Religious Right want Intelligent Design to be taught in science classes?
- Why does Osama seemingly have a hundred "#2 men" in Al Qaeda?
- Why wasn't more made of Tom Ridge's admission that he used the Terror Threat Level system for political gains?
- Why do protestors have to be kept behind fences blocks away from wherever President Bush is appearing?
- Why hasn't more made of the fact that President Bush only speaks in front of hand-picked crowds who sign loyalty oaths before entering?
- Why do President Bush and other Republicans use coded language that only Christians will understand?
- What was that box on the back of President Bush during the debate?
- Why did President Bush spend more than 40% of his first 9 months in office on vacation?
- Why didn't President Bush immediately end his vacation when Katrina hit and instead spend it eating cake in California?
- Why does President Bush get to decide what constitutes torture?
- Why was Jose Padilla kept in a secret prison for three years, tortured, and then never charged with a crime related to terrorism despite being declared an enemy combatant?
- Why was torture allowed at Abu Ghraib?
- Who ordered the torture in Abu Ghraib?
- Why do President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney appear together so often when the purpose of a VP is to assume power if the President is unable to do so?
- Why aren't more corporations punished for knowingly hiring illegal immigrants?
- Why has No Child Left Behind been underfunded so much?
- Why has the Faith-based Initiative been underfunded so much?
- Why hasn't the minimum wage been raised since the late 1990s?
- How many corrupt Republicans will it take for Republican voters to realize that they're not concerned about the voters, just staying in power?
- Why does Scott Stantis still have a comic strip?
And by the time I finish just asking those questions, I'm watching the sunrise.
If you have any other questions that keep you up at night, please feel free to put them in the comments section and let us know what's on your mind.
October 21, 2006
She Can Just Blame Her Problem On Being An Alcoholic Like Every Other Republican
Apparently Republican Congresswoman Sue Kelly(R-NY)is running towards that Politics Free Zone.
Thursday: Carmen wants to seal herself off from all of the bad political things happening to her party.
Friday: Carmen loves talking about politics and can't stop.
Saturday: Carmen so loves talking politics that she can't even sit in a "Politics Free Zone" for five minutes and has to run to her "Fair and Balanced" heroes O'Reilly, Rush, and Hannity.
Why the hell does Scott Stantis have a comic strip again?
Carmen is so fed up with everything she ERECTS A FREAKIN' WALL. Things are so bad you'd think the last thing she'd want to do is talk about North Korea's nukes, the debacle in Iraq, Foleygate, etc. But nope - she can't hold it in - she's just got to talk politics baby!
Of course Republicans right now don't really want to talk about politics. There isn't a single issue they can crow about as the elections approach (and don't tell me the economy - no economy propped up by 8 trillion in debt is strong). Obviously Carmen would want to shut up Winslow, who should be running around sticking Carmen's nose in the fact that seemingly every day something bad is coming out about the Most Corrupt Congress Ever. Did you hear yet another Congressman might have been preying on underage pages? Or that a Congressman thought there had only been 17 soldiers killed in Iraq this past month instead of 71? Or that Ken Blackwell is smearing his Democratic candidate in Ohio by going around saying his opponent is gay when he's not? Or that George Bush campaigned for a Republican that settled out of court with his mistress that he strangled? Guys, this is all in the past TWO DAYS.
So by all means Carmen/Stantis, let's talk politics. Where would you like to start? Lemme guess - maybe you want to accuse Hillary of being gay like Rush does all the time. Or maybe O'Reilly saying he wants to take a hand grenade to the lefty bloggers. Or Hannity telling Democratic voters to stay home in order to save America.
You smell that? It's desperation. And Stantis and Carmen and the rest of the Republicans reek of it. So let's talk - I'm more than happy to hold my nose while we do.
(Note: I still think the Republicans will win on November 7th. Like I said in 2000, and 2002, and 2004, the fix is in. I hope I'm wrong, but when a company that admits it supports Republicans also runs the electronic voting, and it's been proven that those voting machines can be hacked easily, I'm not holding my breath that we'll ever have fair elections in this country again until there are some major changes. And it's hard to win the game when the refs have been paid off.)
October 20, 2006
We Don't Need No Thought Control
Let's just ignore today's strip because, frankly, who cares.
Instead, I've finished off this week's "story." You're welcome, Stantis.
October 19, 2006
We Have Met The Enemy and He Is Etc.
"You will also notice on Prickly City the influence of...Krazy Kat..."
Yeah, I can see that.
Posted by Sacki at 12:00 AM | Comments (3)October 18, 2006
Monkey Scream, Monkey Doo-Doo
Another fish-slappingly funny strip today, as Stantis remains unhinged, unglued, and SHOCKED, OH-SO SHOCKED at the Republicans because of the Mark Foley scandal. This, apparently, was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Of all the things in the last six years this is the one that pushes him over the edge.
Amusin', ain't it.
Dance, little mad amusing monkey Stantis; dance. Amuse us with your anger. Flail your arms. Stamp your feet. Pull your hair.
They're so cute when they're angry.
Posted by CJo at 08:26 AM | Comments (2)October 17, 2006
How Dare You...Get Caught!
Carmen is mad. Not just mad, violently angry. It started yesterday when Carmen fumed that the Mark Foley cover-up was going to hurt her Republican party in the November 7th elections. Today she takes that anger out (in her dreams, anyway) by hitting Republican Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert(R-IL) in the head with a fish.
Yeah, with a fish. I dunno. At first I thought she was dragging a stuffed animal or something and then Winslow was kind enough to explain that it was a giant goldfish.
I'm really happy to see Stantis tackle the Foley scandal. And I'm even happier to see Stantis show his true colors. He's not mad at Foley for trying to sexually prey on teenage boys. He's not even mad that Dennis Hastert covered up the perverted emails and instant messages he's known about for months, even years. No, Stantis and Carmen and the rest of the Republicans are angry that they've been busted trying to cover it up only weeks away from the election.
Now I personally would think that they would be angry that their party - the party of morals - was protecting a sexual predator and endangering our children. Nope. They could care less about that part. Heck, they don't even really care that the guy is gay. No, Stantis is much more upset with Giant Man Turtle Hastert that he was stupid enough to get caught covering it up so close to a pivotal election.
Of course by the end of the week Stantis will, as predicted, try to pin all of this on the Democrats. I'm sure Stantis will explain that the Dems turned Foley gay, then programmed him to be a sexual predator, and then hypnotized Hastert into covering it up for them. How dare they, those immoral bastards! Don't they know that the Republican party is morally uncorruptible?!?
Well, as long as morals only deal with what happens in the bedroom. Little things like rising poverty rates, bribery, and lying to go to war don't really fit under the moral "banner" when it comes to Republicans, do they? I mean if that were the case, Carmen is going to have to get a whole lot angrier and buy a lot more fish.
Posted by The Furnace at 08:59 AM | Comments (4)
October 16, 2006
Funniest. PC. Ever.
October 15, 2006
Swackdown
Ugh. I'm sure somebody out there thinks today's PC is funny, but I don't know why. Winslow imagines transforming into Calvin - I'm sorry, a fly - and is immediately "swacked" (I always thought that "thwack" was the preferred sound effect, but whatever). But hey - that would be pretty cool, right? Right? Maybe he should have turned into a crickett, because all I'm hearing is chirping instead of laughter.
Can we finally call a moratorium on Winslow flying strips? Please?
I'd don the Future Goggles, but Stantis has been all over the place the last month that it's hard to tell what the heck he's going to talk about next. On top of that, he's not even picking topical issues when he does something political. One day on Big Dog Clinton making Chris Wallace his bitch? He spent that much time on Katie Couric getting air-brushed.
I'd live-blog the PC podcast, but he hasn't updated it since September. Geez guys, it's as if nobody ever listens to those things and you finally figured it out. I actually did listen to this one (a moment of boredom combined with hysteria will do that to you) and it was a whole bunch of nothing. Stantis talked about seeing the governor of Alabama or something and talked about him running for President. He then whined AGAIN about how we have big bad scary technology that supposedly makes us less connected - dude, get over it already. Then the whole Republicrats storyline came up, and a "fan" pointed out they've always been called "RINOs" (Republicans In Name Only) and Stantis said he wanted to come up with his own original term. Yeah, NOBODY has ever thought of combining "Republicans" with "Democrats" and coming up with "Republicrats." There was no substance to anything Stantis or Toby said, so maybe that's why he stopped doing the podcast - what's the point of spending five minutes talking about nothing? At least explain what the heck makes for a Republicrat other than your lame drunken spending and big government complaints that have been a staple of the Republican party since Reagan.
The big question is if Stantis has the balls to tackle the Mark Foley scandal this week. Odds are he'll follow the Republican talking point that despite Foley being a Republican, and the Republican leadership knowing about his being a sexual predator for years and doing nothing about it, and that the Republican leadership never told the Democrats, that it's somehow all the Democrats' fault.
Maybe Stantis will go after Bush's gutting of the Constitution and giving himself the power to torture and arrest anybody he likes and keep them in prison forever. It could be funny though if we here at Shrubville wrote it:
MONDAY
Panel 1: Carmen stands talking to Winslow about Mel Gibson's drunken anti-Semitic tirade. Carmen: "Hey Winslow, did you hear about Mel Gibson's drunk driving arrest?" Winslow: "No. I was too busy googling 9/11 conspiracies."
Panel 2: Two large men (well, fat men) show up carrying a burlap sack. Fat Man #1: "Which one of you is a liberal?"
Panel 3: Carmen and Winslow point to each other, since Stantis has them flip flop whenever it suits him politically. Carmen: "He ran his own liberal radio show!" Winslow: "She called Republicans stupid!"
Panel 4: Winslow has been stuffed into the sack. Fat Man #1: "Better grab Macaca too - can't take any chances." Carmen: "But I voted for Bush! Twice!" Fat Man #2: "Tell that to the Republicrats in G'itmo."
Yeah, I know it needs work. But at least it's not Winslow saying it would be cool to be a fly for a few minutes.
October 14, 2006
Stupid Is As Stantis Does
Today Scott Stantis calls Republicans like himself stupid. I didn't believe it at first, but he does.
Winslow asks why campaign ads are so nasty, Carmen tells him because "they" think we're stupid and that they work, Winslow opines that we "could just not fall for it" (a horribly written sentence, btw), and Carmen tells him not to talk stupid.
Well looking over the past 12 years or so, ever since the "Republican Revolution," the Republicans have done a good job of running negative ad campaigns and winning elections (not counting those little things like possibly fixing elections). Heck, they're the ones who implied that Max Cleland, who lost not one but THREE limbs serving his country in Viet Nam, was siding with Osama and Saddam. That's about as negative as you can get.
The funny ads (and by funny I mean vile and deceptive) circling around these parts accuse the candidate up for re-election in our Congressional district, Melissa Bean, of being "strangely liberal" and a "liberal Democrat." Because, of course, "liberal" is the nastiest thing you can call a politician these days. If you know anything about Bean's voting record, she's anything but liberal. She's from a purple district (which leans red more than blue in most areas), and her voting record reflects that. But the RNCC (not the Republican candidate mind you - no no no - he would never stoop to negative attack ads - he would rather be a pussy and let someone else do his fighting for him, which is clear since I have yet to see a single ad that he's approved of) keep pounding away at the idea that she's a few blocks left of Stalin.
Since Stantis is admitting that Republicans in general are stupid for falling for nasty ads, I wonder if in a few weeks he'll admit that the Christian Right Republicans are stupid for believing that Bush and Rove actually care about them for anything other than the votes. David Kuo, who was the number two guy running Bush's "Faith-Based Initiative," has a new book out that blows the lid right off of how Rove has manipulated the Christian Right in order to win elections. Those silly, stupid Religious Righties - did they honestly think that Bush cared about them and their beliefs? Nope - he wanted to get into power and stay in power, so he conned them into think he was serious about making abortion illegal and banning gay marriage when he had no intention to do anything of the sort. They got duped, and I hope this book riles them up enough that they say "no more" and stay at home on November 7th and send a message: we're not as stupid as you think.
Oh who am I kidding - these are the folks that think they see the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich. They're so stubborn they'll never admit they were duped and "have faith" that W is really one of them and he'll take care of them in the last two years of his presidency. Right after he invades Iran and privatizes Social Security. And if not, it's Clinton's fault.
I know Stantis probably doesn't realize that he mainly called Republicans stupid today. He thinks most Americans are stupid for paying attention to these attack ads, but the proof is in the pudding. Heck, they even used these kinds of ads against each other - just ask John McCain and his alleged out-of-wedlock black baby. But like every good Republican, was McCain smart enough to stand up for himself and fight back and tell the Righties "no more?" Nope, now he's Bush 3, doing whatever W wants, be it allowing him to torture people to blaming Clinton for North Korea having nukes. Sure the numbers don't support that (Clinton policy = 8 years = North Korea has no nukes / Bush policy that's opposite of Clinton's = 6 years = North Korea blow stuff up real good). But hey if McCain and the rest of the stupid Republicans are going to blame Clinton for 9/11 and the poor economy and the crystal meth crisis and herpes, they might as well blame him for Kim Jong-Il getting his nuke on.
Scott Stantis: brave enough to admit he's stupid. Good for him. Now go put on your helmet and your mittens and sit in the corner, ya big dummy.
October 13, 2006
Stepping In It
Donkeys and elephants in HD, technology-phobe.
Technology-phobe.
Technology-phobe.
Donkeys and elephants in HD, technology-phobe.
But truly, at long last, a true and proper representation of the Prickly City comic strip: it's full of crap.*
*An alternative correct representation was presented in the March, 2005 strips concerning Terri Schiavo, in which the nature of Prickly City as limp and brain-dead was communicated.
Posted by Sacki at 12:01 AM | Comments (2)October 12, 2006
Dukie
Five panels - five - to convey the actions of the Winslow eating a cake. Boggles my mind. What is this, Victorian England? Are comic strip writers getting paid by the panel? Did someone hit me in the head with a bumbershoot in the carpark when I wasn't paying attention?
Why does it take Garfield nine panels on Sunday to eat ice cream? Why is Pat O'Brien in For Better or For Worse, and why is he still sexually harrassing women? Who's in charge of quality control at the comic strip writers' compound?
So many questions. Makes me long for Marmaduke, for altho just as insipid, it's only one and done.
Posted by Sacki at 09:20 AM | Comments (1)October 11, 2006
This is the Party He Used to Run In
Graying, self-absorbed rocker Pat DiNizio plays a concert in his living room for $100-a-head, as per his self-aggrandizing website.
Stantis finally looks two weeks ahead two weeks ago and this is what he comes up with? Pat DiNizio's birthday??
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Listen, I've got nothing against the Smithereens. I listened to WXRT (93.1 Chicago) back in the late 80's. And the Smithereens were certainly a highlight amongst all the Little Feat, Jethro Tull, and Rare Earth Friday Features and Two-Fer Tuesdays. But to call the Smithereens the "best band ever" is a little silly. (That honor, of course, goes to Cheap Trick.)
It's just another example of Stantis using the Surfing-the-Web technique to generate story ideas. How else to explain the Clinton/Wallace-to-Gray-Haired-Baby-Boomers-to-Smithereens? "Oh, look, the blogosphere is going nuts about Clinton!" MOUSE CLICK. "Oh, look, a study has shown baby boomers are getting older. (And playing kickball!)" MOUSE CLICK. "Oh, look, October rock-n-roll birthdays!"
I know name-checking one's favorite artists and influences is a comic-strip tradition. Charles Schultz was a big-time practitioner of this. But when Schroeder would spend a week celebrating Beethoven's birthday, it was a situation that developed out of the CHARACTER'S love for Beethoven. The reader never thought, "Wow. Charles Schultz sure has a hard-on for Beethoven. This strip is nothing more than a vehicle for Schultz to display his personal agenda." Instead, the reader thinks, "Boy, that Schroeder kid sure is a fag." The reader reacts to the character, not the artist.
But do we for a second believe that Winslow is a life-long fan of the all-songs-sound-the-same, mildly-catchy, power-rock stylings of Pat DiNizio, Jim Babjak, Mike Mesaros, and Dennis Diken? No. It's Stantis, top-to-bottom. Winslow is a floppy little lifeless puppet dancing because his creator has a finger up his ass.
Of course, there might be something bigger at work here. A quick google check tells me DiNizio -- a former "Republican Committeeman" -- ran for a U.S. Senate seat (NJ) in 2000 under the Reform Party. You remember the Reform Party, don'tcha? It's Ross Perot's political party that fielded Pat Buchanan in 2000. (In the above-linked article DiNizio distances himself from Buchanan, but, come on, dude.)
So it's not just Stantis putting politics aside and cluing us in to his musical tastes. It's a carefully selected musical taste that passes his rigorous ideological litmus test.
Someone should blow this strip up to...wait for it...SMITHEREENS.
Posted by CJo at 08:57 AM | Comments (3)October 10, 2006
The Big Dog Scares Off the Little Pussy
The new sexy, according to Scott Stantis - gray hair and looking like you have to take a dump.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Why am I laughing? Is it today's Prickly City? Lord no, it's one of the worst ever. No, I'm laughing because Scott Stantis, Mr. Tough Guy, the Big Bad Conservative Republican who loves to make jokes at the expense of women, draws his enemies as fat slobs, and is an all-around dick didn't even have he balls to spend more than one day "making fun" of President Clinton laying the smacketh down on Chris "I'm a bigger prick than Scott Stantis" Wallace.
Ha ha ha ha!
What Scott, afraid of the backlash since people actually LIKE Bill Clinton? Did you pick up on the fact that everybody except a few radical righties like yourself and Rush Limbaugh was on Big Dog's side and realized that Fox News had sandbagged him, and instead of wilting like a little bitch like you he stood up for himself, admitted his mistakes, and then pointed out that it was Bush who sat on his hands after he got warning after warning that Osama was Determined To Strike Within The United States? And now we know that back on July 10th, 2001 Conde Rice was alerted to the threat and she did the same thing Bush did a month later on August 6th - jack squat. Those are the folks that are sitting at the "big people's table?" The ones who did NOTHING to protect us from getting attacked by terrorists, and now we're supposed to think they're the ones who are tough on national security? Again, I say "Ha!"
Maybe you should go back to making fun of Nancy Pelosi's looks, Stantis. She's more your speed. Besides, she's the current Republican talking point - oooooo - scary - if the Democrats win she'll be the new Speaker. Yeah, lord knows Denny Hastert, one of your boys, is a much better leader of the Congress. Hey Scott, do they let sexual predators and admitted felons sit at the big people's table with you?
As for today's strip, I have no clue why Stantis is going off on people thinking gray hair is sexy. They've been saying for years that Sean Connery is one of the sexiest men alive, so what's the big deal? I think this is probably Stantis's fear of growing old rearing its ugly head again. Maybe he woke up and discovered that he's got a gray hair or two and he's panicking. Who knows.
The freaky part is that third panel, where he goes off on how this is the most "self-absorbed generation" and it takes "self-aggrandizement" to a whole new level. WTF? Because growing old is a good thing? What, when we hit 50 we're supposed to pull out our walkers and wait for death? Geez Stantis, just because you can't get it up at night doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Pop a few viagra like your hero Rush and pretend like a nuclear North Korea isn't that big a deal like your hero Bush and everything will be alright.
October 09, 2006
Yeah, Big Time
Thanks for the reminder, Scott Stantis, that the adult way to deal with a member of the press is to refer to the subject as a "major-league asshole." That's how you get to sit at the "big people's table."
One mustn't dare engage in a heated and passionate talk full of concepts, explanations, and substance. Because, god forbid, one might risk earning the wrath of millions of Fox News watchers who themselves will "pitch a total hissy fit," giving rise to a limp-wristed, hissy-heightened rebuke by the most simple-minded and ham-handed daily comic strip artist ever published.
See you on November 7, 2006, Stantis, you major-league asshole.
Posted by CJo at 07:38 AM | Comments (2)October 08, 2006
Stick It Up Uranus
Now Stantis is making a joke about the Katie Couric pic being airbrushed to make her look thinner. That was originally reported on August 30th. Honestly when I first saw today's strip without reading it I thought he was back to talking about those photos of Lebanon that were photoshopped to add smoke. That was only a week or two before the Katie Controversy.
Doesn't Stantis realize that people around the country are going to open up the funny pages, see this acid trip of a strip (more on that in a sec), and say to themselves, "Wasn't that like a month ago? Why is he making jokes about this now?" Why wouldn't his editors realize that the real joke here would be that now Katie looks almost as slim as her current ratings? This has got to stop. Someone needs to tell Scotty he can't keep making jokes about stuff that happened a month ago that everyone has stopped talking about for weeks now.
As for the drawings today, did someone slip Stantis a bad mushroom or something? What kind of freakshow is this? Let's take a closer look:
- In the upper left hand corner there appears to be what I imagine is a piece of a green cheese moon. It looks like a lime wedge to me, but it's floating in mid-air.
- The PC blimp finally returns. That let's us know that Stantis was desperate to fill up empty space.
- The rock formation on the far left is topped by what looks like a basketball. Why? I have no idea.
- What's creepier is the rock formation next to it seems to be wearing a purple wig, making it look like a rejected FraggleRock character.
- At the bottom of a screen is a snake that looks like it's crapping a cactus.
- The planet Saturn is in the sky. I'd say it was Uranus, but its rings go the other way.
- Of course there's the bizarre stick person Winslow. The less said about it the better.
- On the other side it looks like Carmen is gaining the weight that Winslow lost. She sure has been getting plump the last few months.
- And finally, there's a DINOSAUR. A PURPLE dinosaur. WTF? What does Barney have to do with any of this? And why would Stantis, who I'm guessing is an Intelligent Designer, include something that shows how whacky his theories on creationism are? Is this dinosaur 6000 years old? Or was he hosting a children's show on PBS and they fired him and sent him off to spend his retirement in Prickly City? Maybe it's supposed to be a lizard. Or a mutated meerkat.
So there you have it: a weekend of comics that would have been appropriate the first day of September, 2006. Soon we'll be getting knee slappers about the Pope saying Muslims are inherently violent and Joe Lieberman losing the primary. I guess that's easier for Stantis to joke about than the fact that Condi Rice was warned on July 10th, 2001 that Osama was determined to strike in the U.S. (a full month before Bush got a PDB with a similar title) or that the Congress has given the President the power to decide what constitutes torture.
Who knows - maybe next week we'll get to see Winslow being waterboarded. Wouldn't that be fun? Meh, Stantis would just screw it up by showing Winslow standing on a board in the middle of the desert saying, "So this is waterboarding? It's not so bad," and Carmen telling him that he needs to add water. Yeah, I know, not funny. It would be perfect for PC.
Posted by The Furnace at 08:14 AM | Comments (1)
October 07, 2006
Pluto Gets the Shaft
Goofy interviews with Mark Foley(R-Fl) to be a Congressional page
August 24th, 2006. Scientists announced that Pluto would no longer be classified as a planet.
October 7th, 2006. Scott Stantis makes a lame joke that's been told a few hundred times about it.
Are there any other comic strips that are so obviously behind the times? I admit I don't read many other strips, but don't the good ones do a good job of covering up the fact that comics are usually a week or two behind current events? I know I've harped on this before, but geez - nearly a month and a half later we get a Pluto/Goofy joke? I can't wait for a week of Stantis attacking the judge in Detroit that found Bush's illegal wiretapping to be...well, illegal. How dare she question The Leader! At least that'll be something people are still talking about since the Congress hasn't made it legal yet like they did with torture.
While Stantis, like so many other Republicans, jumped the gun and declared Air America dead, it was nice to see a different background behind Winslow this past week. Instead of them saying, "Hey, did you hear..." out in the desert he actually had a little set with his own Air Winslow sign. Whatever happened to Carmen and Winslow actually having storylines where they got to act out what Stantis was talking about? He's fallen into this horrible rut of simply having his characters stand there (or run, or jump) and talk about things. Am I the only one who thinks that's incredibly boring?
What would be be more interesting two weeks from now: Winslow having to explain why he's instant messaging a Congressional page asking him how he masturbates and how long his penis is as he sits at the computer typing with one hand, or Carmen running on a rock saying, "Hey Winslow, did you hear that Democratic Congressman* Mark Foley has been accused of inappropriate emails to teenage pages?" Bor-ing.
(* Mark Foley is actually a Republican Congressman from Florida, but tell that to Fox News and The O'Reilly Factor. They've repeatedly put up a graphic saying that Foley is a Democrat. Yup, nothing but the truth over there at Fox. Oh and it's just not Fox News - the AP did the same thing. At least they corrected it shortly after posting it.)
Odds are the Foley scandal will last quite a while, so at least Stantis won't seem so far out of the loop when he talks about the Foley scandal around Halloween (look for him to draw a Dennis Hastert that doesn't even fit into a single panel since he's so fat, and we know how Stantis only likes to draw people as being obese). Of course like every other Republican out there he'll try to find a way to blame the Democrats for it (lastest ploy: did the Dems know about this too, and why didn't they do anything!?!? Answer: they didn't know, it was a Republican informant that went to ABC News, but that doesn't matter - Republican talking heads will start acting like this is a Democratic cover up instead of a scandal that is wholly Republican).
This is obviously a case where Winslow has to be the victim (Foley is gay, after all) but I doubt Stantis will say he used to be a Congressional page and Foley hit on him too. And if he did, he'd have Winslow say that it was all a "prank" like Rush Limbaugh says and he was really the one to blame (not explaining why it was always Foley who initiated the sex talk, asking "do I make you horny?" to 16 year old boys and asking if they jacked off over the weekend).
Or maybe we'll get a few jokes about Anna Nicole Smith's son dying. Much easier for Stantis to make fun of a tragedy like that instead of dealing with a Republican scandal, especially since he likes to make jokes at the expense of women (just ask Terri Schiavo and Justice Sandra O'Connor). Scott Stantis: pure class.
Posted by The Furnace at 07:19 AM | Comments (2)
October 06, 2006
Capitalism: Grown-Up Style
Yes, yes, Scott Stantis, please please please be our conservative grown-up daddy and teach us all about how to be a big old grown-up and practice successful capitalism please oh please oh please mister daddy grown-up conservative jagoff Stantis.
Because, you know, you've had SO MUCH SUCCESS with Prickly Inc. Like your "Prickly City" book, which is at No. 1,374,826 on Amazon's list of best-sellers but WITH A BULLET, of course. And don't forget the launch of your WINSLOW THE PLUSH COYOTE DOLL, which, if I'm not mistaken, never got 2 minutes beyond the prototype stage.
But we just shouldn't pick on YOU, Scott Stantis. Maybe we can look at your brethren and see how well they've done attracting advertising dollars for their websites:
(source: Hannity.com, Drudge.com, Coulter.whore, and Limbaugh.limp)
Niiiiiiiiiiiiice.
Now THAT is how to bring in the big bucks.
A site called "Tiny Stars" which is purportedly a non-profit fighting against child-sex-trafficking but looks more like a bookmarked favorite of Mark Foley.
Wow! A conservative book club?! REALLY?! Can I REALLY purchase remaindered copies of your piece-of-shit book?!?!
Look out, America! It's Rosie's Latest Threat!
And finally: Lumber Liquidators. Nothing against them. I'm sure they are a fine American company dedicated to the bottom line. That's why they pay $1.75 per year for their ads.
Now if you'll pardon me, I have to go fuck the floor. Er. I mean, "exercise in the homo-erotic way as advertised on many conservative-leaning websites."
October 05, 2006
Because "Operation Dumbo Drop" Was Too Obvious
Remember, kids:
Popular = Good.
Unless it's a fad. Or vulgar. Or profane.
So endeth the lesson.
Posted by Sacki at 09:50 AM | Comments (4)October 04, 2006
More fun with Air America today. I can understand Stantis devoting two (and counting) days to the "bankruptcy" story. It had a tremendous impact on us all.
Oh, wait. Did I say "us all?" I really meant, "on Michelle Malkin's website and the Drudge Report." Because, frankly, no one else seems to care. Corporations and companies will occasionally file Chapter 11. They continue to operate. Life goes on. It's bizness as usual. I hope whenever Scott travels from Birmingham to Tucson in order to research the desert for "Prickly City" he flies American Airlines, who is just about the only major American airline NOT to have filed Chapter 11.
So in addition to the fact that Chapter 11 is a part of life in our country which supports Big Business and The Al-ighty -ollar, Air America, in fact, as pointed out by the Furnace yesterday, did NOT EVEN declare bankruptcy.
So, Scott, no matter how you slice it: you got nothing of consequence to say re: Air America. NOTHING. So go back to drafting out your strips about Gerry Studds and Barney Frank. See you in two weeks.
Posted by CJo at 08:23 AM | Comments (2)October 03, 2006
Prickly City: On the Cutting Edge (of two weeks ago)
Bravo, Mr. Stantis. In two short days you summed up everything that sucks so much about Prickly City. Yesterday, as CJo pointed out, you fell back on your lazy azz approach to your own characters - you don't know what they stand for anymore, and if something bad has to happen it's going to be Winslow since he's supposedly a stupid stinky smell liberal.
Today is a textbook example of the other major flaw with this waste of comic page space: Stantis insistence that he tackle "topical" stories, even though the nature of comics means he's always going to be a week or two behind the times. Now if this were a huge story arc it could be forgiven. If he was doing something on the war in Iraq, he wouldn't have to deal in specifics - there's always something bad happening there that he can try to blame on Democrats.
But with Stantis's "What's in the news today that I can slap together into a strip" mentality, we get beauties like today's strip. According to Carmen, Air America Radio is going bankrupt. Winslow asks if it's financially, and she oh-so-cleverly responds, "that too." Because, you see, as a dirty stinky liberal radio station they're all kinds of bankrupt, not like Rush Limbaugh and his four marriages and viagra trips to visit prostitutes and illegal prescriptions.
Stantis got the idea that Air America was going bankrupt from this "news" story. Originally it was reported on the liberal Huffington Post website, but it was soon trumpeted all over conservative radio and websites with glee.
The problem? It didn't happen. Air America is alive and well and still on the air. I actually heard the opening to Al Franken's show where that Friday where his first line was, "We're still here." Was it bad reporting? A rumor gone wrong? A planted story to get conservatives to cream themselves without fact checking the story on their own with they're want to do?
Doesn't matter. Stantis didn't even wait until the Friday of that week to confirm the story - he just threw it together, turned it into his editors, and for some bizarre reason they ran it today anyway knowing that Air America didn't declare bankruptcy. I suppose they could argue that Air America *might* declare bankruptcy *someday*, but I doubt they let a strip go where Winslow says, "President Bush is getting impeached."
My question: how exactly is Air America Radio bankrupt other than financially? And isn't that sort of the pot calling the kettle black considering it's coming from neocon tot Carmen? Why don't we take a look at just a few of the headlines of the past week, and let's decide if it's really the Republican party that's bankrupt in all sorts of ways:
- We found out Republican Congressman Mark Foley is a sexual predator whose prey was teenage boys. If you haven't seen his instant messages where he asks the teens to measure their dicks and talks about them "spirting," they're hysterical in a sick, demented way.
- Now we're hearing that the Republican leadership in Congress knew about Mark Foley, knew about his perverted emails and instant messages, and did nothing except try to cover it up. That's right: they KNEW there was a sexual deviant preying on teenage boys, and they were more worried about staying in power and getting re-elected than protecting them. Oh and their big moral concern now: finding out who leaked the emails. Yeah, because the leakers are the real guilty ones here.
- We discovered that George Tenet warned Conde Rice in JULY of 2001 that Osama wanted to attack us, and she ignored it.
- Republican Congressman Bob Ney pled guilty to criminal corruption charges, but decided he's not going to step down.
- Congress didn't do anything about the budget before going on recess, meaning our government is dangerously close to actually being financially bankrupt.
- Iraq was a clusterfuck from the beginning. Even Bush's wife was calling for Rumsfeld to get canned. Bush knowingly ignored that violence was getting worse over there, and they've been covering it up. They knew they didn't have enough troops going in and didn't do a damn thing about it.
- Oh, and that little thing about George Bush now getting to decide what's torture. Not to mention being allowed to arrest anybody he wants and throwing him into prison forever without charges.
And that's all in just the past TWO WEEKS. So who's really the morally and financially bankrupt party, Scott? I'll give you a hint: the ones with the perverts and criminals and liars probably has a leg up on Al Franken.
October 02, 2006
Muslims on Trampolines
Oh heavenly dog. That crazy Winslow, the purported "liberal" from Prickly City. The goofy, silly, trend-hopping thong-hound who is, in the words of Scott Stantis, "well-intentioned but dim-witted -- in short, a Democrat," agrees with Pope Benedict XVI, who recently referred to someone referring to the teachings of Muhammad as "evil and inhuman." Yes, the same Winslow who back in May of 2005 questioned the selection of Benedict XVI, complaining that "he doesn't believe in moral relativism at all," later adding whilst dancing a jig, "was it too much to expect a Pope that would look around and join the party?"
So, in other words, Scott Stantis ONCE AGAIN DEMONSTRATES EITHER A SEVERE IGNORANCE OF HIS OWN CHARACTERS OR HE SIMPLY IS TOO LAZY OR UNCONCERNED WITH ANY SORT OF CHARACTER CONTINUITY THAT HE'LL HAVE WHOMEVER SAY WHATEVER IS CONVENIENT FOR HIS LATEST 'STORYLINE.'
Pop Quiz, hotshot: Between Carmen and Winslow WHO is going to agree with the Pope re: Muslims? WHO IS GOING TO AGREE WITH THE POPE?!
Yes, that's right: Carmen B. Neocontotzi. But Stantis wouldn't dare show Carmen getting bounced on by crazed-n-rioting Muslims.
So Stantis hacks his way to another day and Winslow pays the price.
Posted by CJo at 09:57 AM | Comments (2)October 01, 2006
America's Fall
Wow, Stantis looked ahead and wrote a strip based on the fact that it's Fall. What's that you say? The first day of Fall was over a week ago? Nevermind.
Future Goggles!
- We find out that several months back Winslow went to work for Republican Congressman Mark Foley of Florida as a teenage paige. Foley sent him some suggestive emails and a few pornographic instant messages, including one where he tells Winslow to slip off his t-shirt and shorts. When he told Foley that he doesn't wear clothes, he instantly became Foley's favorite paige. Winslow went to the Republican leaders of Congress with his complaints, but they quickly covered up the story and are now lying to cover their own tracks. Carmen blames Winslow for not doing more about it, since Foley is really a Republicrat and they're all perverts.
- Winslow is grabbed by the Feds one night and thrown into a secret prison because of his association with a "girl with dark skin who may or may not be a terrorist because she sometimes calls the President a Republicrat, which indicates she may be trying to overthrow the government." Winslow is never charged with a crime, tortured for several months, then released with no explanation. Carmen is never thrown into prison since she's a registered Republican. After Winslow's release, Carmen blames him for what happened, explaining that if he were a good American he would understand that in order to beat the terrorists, we have to act just like them. Winslow is then thrown back in prison because he talked about his experiences, meaning the terrorists could have learned our techniques, and he's never heard from again. Stantis replaces him with that illegal alien version of Winslow and expects us not to know the difference.
- Carmen and all of her Republican friends volunteers to fight in Iraq so we can beat the terrorists over there instead of here. Ha ha ha ha. We all know that'll never happen. Instead she'll blame the Democrats for wanting to cut and run, including Democratic candidate Tammy Duckworth of Illinois - who lost her legs while actually fighting in Iraq. Pretty tasteless, huh? Well another Republican already beat her to it.
- Carmen complains that it's a "do-nothing" Congress, and if they were real Republicans they would have dealt with issues like illegal immigration and national security. Winslow points out that Carmen seemed to think things like the flag burning amendment were really important, and she sucker punches him in the face.
- We get a week of Carmen talking about Hugo Chavez calling Bush the devil. Come on, we all know that's what Stantis is going to bitch about every day.
Sorry for the lack of funny from me in recent posts (some would say every post...). Let's face it - this was one of the darkest weeks in the history of our country. President Bush has become the most powerful president ever. He gets to decide what constitute torture. He can imprison anybody he wants without charges FOREVER, just as long as he calls them an "enemy combatant" (and did you know that the legislation made specific reference to leftist protest groups, but not right wing extremists like the group Timothy McVeigh belonged to?). Bush wants to go to war in Iran, and this Congress won't stop him. And Congress is also on the brink of allowing Bush to spy on anybody he wants. Fortunately (I guess) the Republicans are so worried about getting re-elected that they didn't schedule a vote on the spying, but you know it'll be one of the first things they do next year - followed by privatizing Social Security, despite what Americans really want. Oh, and you can forget about Democrats winning either house in Congress - the fix is already in, whether we want to believe it or not. That's what happens when the electronic voting machines are produced by a company that openly admits they support the Republicans.
Something like this doesn't happen overnight. The Republicans in power have been planning this for 30 years, and it's finally paying off. Can you imagine if Clinton had done all of this after the first World Trade Center attack? The illegal prisons, the wiretapping, the lies to go to war in a country that wasn't a threat to us - the guy got a blow job from a woman of legal age and they spent years trying to impeach him. Now we get Congressmen trying to have sex with 16 year old boys and the leaders of Congress cover it up, and a President who invades countries at will and nobody questions it. These are truly the darkest days in the history of the United States, and I don't see things getting better anytime soon.
On the other hand, Scott Stantis isn't getting any funnier and makes less sense every day, so we can take a little joy out of making fun of him. It's not much, but it's all we've got in Bush's America.
Posted by The Furnace at 09:11 AM | Comments (0)
picture courtesy of JB
