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October 28, 2006
And Now, The I Didn't Do It Dancers
Somebody needs to teach Stantis the comedy rule of threes - that if something is funny once, you can do it two more times, but then knock it off. Of course that requires the first thing you say to be funny, and nobody's taught Stantis how do that either.
So instead we get the sixth(!) bumper sticker of the week: "Don't blame me. I didn't vote yet." Don't you just love when Stantis says something that reveals a whole lot more about himself than he intended?
This strip sums him up perfectly. As a "Stantis Republican" he's never at fault. Apparently we can't blame him and the other Republicans for voting for Bush and his cronies for the past six years - that silly minority of Democrats in the Congress have somehow ruined all of their plans. Even though Bush has only vetoed one bill, and that was federal funding for embryonic stem cell research (oh and look for "jokes" about Michael J. Fox in a few weeks. Hopefully not six of them). No, the smelly stinky stupid liberals are the ones to blame for everything bad.
Hell, we can already blame them if they win on November 7th! Stantis says so right here - he's hedging his bets. If the Republicans win, and they continue to trash our Constitution and drive our country into the ground, he'll claim he voted libertarian or whatever. If the Democrats win, he'll blame Evil Nancy Pelosi for wanting something called "checks and balances," whatever that is. Of course that doesn't explain why Stantis has been following the Republican Talking Points all week long, but whatever.
You see, Scott Stantis and the Republicans are never to blame. You don't think his strip is funny? It's because you're not smart enough to understand it. You don't think the economy is doing well? You're not trying hard enough to be in the top ten percent that's doing fantastic. You think the war in Iraq is going poorly? You're not staying the course*.
(*Sorry - I forgot they're not saying "stay the course" anymore.)
So much like a spoiled little bitch, don't blame Stantis and the Republicans. They can't help themselves. If they did something wrong, it's because they have a problem with alcohol. Or they were molested by priests as a child. Or they've been infected with a disease called "Republicrat-itis." Or you just don't "get" their humor.
I've got an idea Stantis: why don't you and the Republicans try something called "taking responsibility." And while you're at it, grow a pair. Because I'm sick and tired of a bunch of ball-less wonders telling me how great and funny they are while the country falls apart.
