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October 01, 2006
America's Fall
Wow, Stantis looked ahead and wrote a strip based on the fact that it's Fall. What's that you say? The first day of Fall was over a week ago? Nevermind.
Future Goggles!
- We find out that several months back Winslow went to work for Republican Congressman Mark Foley of Florida as a teenage paige. Foley sent him some suggestive emails and a few pornographic instant messages, including one where he tells Winslow to slip off his t-shirt and shorts. When he told Foley that he doesn't wear clothes, he instantly became Foley's favorite paige. Winslow went to the Republican leaders of Congress with his complaints, but they quickly covered up the story and are now lying to cover their own tracks. Carmen blames Winslow for not doing more about it, since Foley is really a Republicrat and they're all perverts.
- Winslow is grabbed by the Feds one night and thrown into a secret prison because of his association with a "girl with dark skin who may or may not be a terrorist because she sometimes calls the President a Republicrat, which indicates she may be trying to overthrow the government." Winslow is never charged with a crime, tortured for several months, then released with no explanation. Carmen is never thrown into prison since she's a registered Republican. After Winslow's release, Carmen blames him for what happened, explaining that if he were a good American he would understand that in order to beat the terrorists, we have to act just like them. Winslow is then thrown back in prison because he talked about his experiences, meaning the terrorists could have learned our techniques, and he's never heard from again. Stantis replaces him with that illegal alien version of Winslow and expects us not to know the difference.
- Carmen and all of her Republican friends volunteers to fight in Iraq so we can beat the terrorists over there instead of here. Ha ha ha ha. We all know that'll never happen. Instead she'll blame the Democrats for wanting to cut and run, including Democratic candidate Tammy Duckworth of Illinois - who lost her legs while actually fighting in Iraq. Pretty tasteless, huh? Well another Republican already beat her to it.
- Carmen complains that it's a "do-nothing" Congress, and if they were real Republicans they would have dealt with issues like illegal immigration and national security. Winslow points out that Carmen seemed to think things like the flag burning amendment were really important, and she sucker punches him in the face.
- We get a week of Carmen talking about Hugo Chavez calling Bush the devil. Come on, we all know that's what Stantis is going to bitch about every day.
Sorry for the lack of funny from me in recent posts (some would say every post...). Let's face it - this was one of the darkest weeks in the history of our country. President Bush has become the most powerful president ever. He gets to decide what constitute torture. He can imprison anybody he wants without charges FOREVER, just as long as he calls them an "enemy combatant" (and did you know that the legislation made specific reference to leftist protest groups, but not right wing extremists like the group Timothy McVeigh belonged to?). Bush wants to go to war in Iran, and this Congress won't stop him. And Congress is also on the brink of allowing Bush to spy on anybody he wants. Fortunately (I guess) the Republicans are so worried about getting re-elected that they didn't schedule a vote on the spying, but you know it'll be one of the first things they do next year - followed by privatizing Social Security, despite what Americans really want. Oh, and you can forget about Democrats winning either house in Congress - the fix is already in, whether we want to believe it or not. That's what happens when the electronic voting machines are produced by a company that openly admits they support the Republicans.
Something like this doesn't happen overnight. The Republicans in power have been planning this for 30 years, and it's finally paying off. Can you imagine if Clinton had done all of this after the first World Trade Center attack? The illegal prisons, the wiretapping, the lies to go to war in a country that wasn't a threat to us - the guy got a blow job from a woman of legal age and they spent years trying to impeach him. Now we get Congressmen trying to have sex with 16 year old boys and the leaders of Congress cover it up, and a President who invades countries at will and nobody questions it. These are truly the darkest days in the history of the United States, and I don't see things getting better anytime soon.
On the other hand, Scott Stantis isn't getting any funnier and makes less sense every day, so we can take a little joy out of making fun of him. It's not much, but it's all we've got in Bush's America.
