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September 03, 2006

PricklyCity@sucks.com

TODAY'S STRIP

Yesterday I did something you're never supposed to do: I assumed something. Winslow said, "Hey! I won the salsa contest at the Prickly City VFW!" Now for me, the first thing that pops into my head when I hear salsa is that stuff you dip nacho chips into. Heck, if you google "salsa" the first half dozen entries are for the dip. Which led me to wonder what the heck a 90-year-old with a broken hip had to do with salsa dip and Tucker Carlson.

What I should have assumed was that Scott Stantis was talking about salsa dancing.

Originally I was going to take full blame for this. I should have known that talking about Tucker dancing would mean that Stantis was talking about salsa dancing. But who can blame me for thinking he was talking about dip? When was the last time anybody talked about salsa dancing? And why didn't Stantis put the word "dancing" after salsa just to clarify? This is what happens when a writer is so crappy that someone like me accepts the first definition of what we're reading and wonder what the heck he's talking about. What also made it confusing was that this salsa dancing competition was at the VFW. Huh? Does anybody know of a VFW Hall that's hosting a dancing contest this weekend? So while I shouldn't have assumed anything when it comes to the idiocy that is Stantis, he should have gone with the mambo or hell the macarena, two dances people have talked about more than salsa in the past ten years.

Anywho, today instead of Winslow flying we get Scott Stantis's fear of all things technical and his whining that people don't communicate face to face anymore. Blah blah blah. Find a new record, because this one is broken. Or maybe upgrade to 8 track. I'd suggest buying an iPod, but I'm sure since he hates technology so much he'd never have something as advanced as a podcast. That would just be hypocritcal of him.

Quick question: who is Winslow talking to online so much?

I think it's ironic that Stantis whines and cries that people don't have any real friends anymore and they don't talk enough with their families, yet Winslow's only friend is Carmen and vice versa. Maybe if he had some talent he could come up with other characters that can bitch and moan about how terrible things are even though the Republicans are in charge. I know, I know - it's the Democrats' fault that we have all of this technology yet still have to work two jobs to pay all of the bills. It has nothing to do with the outrageous deficit or enormous debt, nothing at all.

If Stantis were smart and actually topical Winslow would become a radical liberal smelly stinky blogger who's taking over the Democratic party. It would have been an interesting way for him to cover the Lamont/Lieberman campaign without having to wait two weeks until after the primary to cry about Lieberman's loss. But no - Stantis keeps getting paid to churn out this crap week in and week out, and he's not about to try harder as long as they keep handing him checks. Pitiful.

Sorry, I'm too irritated to slap on the Future Goggles. What's the point? Does he dare talk about Israel and Hezbollah? Will Winslow refer to Carmen as "Macaca" (now that could actually be interesting)? Oh god - it could be a week of "Bush loves fart jokes." At least tomorrow's a holiday - the staff here at Shrubville is going to need an extra day to rest up in order to deal with Winslow passing gas.

Comments

Posted by: Charles Brubaker at September 3, 2006 07:58 PM

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