September 26, 2006
Next Thing You Know, They'll Blame 9/11 Solely On Bill Clinton. Oh, Wait...
It's ALL yours, Stantis - deal with it.
Someone needs to teach Scott Stantis and the rest of the Republican whiners about a little word called "responsibility."
Now that things are horrible in this country, it's obviously not their fault - some bizarro aliens (I'm not sure if they're illegal or not) have snuck in and somehow stolen their party. They're a hybrid of the "drunken-spending Democrats" and...well, I guess Republicans in general. It's hard to tell from Carmen's stance.
That's what's so inadvertently hysterical about Stantis's storyline for this week. He's too much of a pussy to admit that the Republican plan for governing simply doesn't work - oh no, the Democrats are somehow to blame for EVERYTHING that's going wrong. Even though they don't control any of the branches of government. Nope - they somehow corrupted the Republican party with their eerie mind control powers. Maybe Wizzo (I think he was a cabinet member under Carter) used his magic stone and said "Dooo-dee-dooo-dee-do" to the conservatives and made them his liberal zombie puppets.
So what makes the people in charge "Republicrats?" Well so far Stantis has said it's because of unchecked government growth and drunken spending, so that means they're not "true" Republicans.
Why is it that most Republicans have a warped memory system? Are they born that way? Seems to me that the government grew in leaps and bounds under Reagan, primarily military spending. And he's the one that ran up a huge deficit, not Jimmy. But no - in the minds of guys like Stantis Reagan could do no wrong.
There's are reasons why the government is so huge under Bush. The big one is that he lost so many jobs when he took office that early on the only way he could say he made jobs was by creating them in the federal government. And don't give me the "how did he do that?" response like he's an innocent - he's the one who gave the tax breaks to the corporations so they could ship our CAREERS - not jobs, CAREERS - overseas. Hard to replace a career making automobiles with a job working at Wal-mart. For months on end we'd hear about how the economy created a few hundred thousand jobs - the reality was they weren't in the private sector, they were at the federal level. But of course you won't hear that from the Republicans - the economy is just cheeky, thank you. Ahem.
And how is it so cheeky? Because Bush ran up the deficit. Not by spending it on social programs or on the cities and states like the Democrats are known to do (you know, little things like fixing Social Security and Medicare), but instead by giving tax cuts to his rich buddies. Yup, that sure is a liberal value, isn't it?
These aren't Republicrats - they're Republicans through and through. But now that we see they're a miserable failure when they're in power without any checks and balances, they want to blame it all on somebody else. Please, Mr. Stantis, explain to us what a "real Republican" wants. What would he do differently? Not give tax cuts to the wealthy? That's a fundamental element of your trickle down economics. Not expand the government? If you want to "keep us safe," you have to expand it (sure you don't have to do it by hiring cronies and incompetents, but you can't blame Democrats for that), not to mention in order to figure out ways to benefit corporations (somebody needs to rewrite the law and help them get every advantage possible).
The right wingers have done a magnificent job of convincing Americans that Democrats are evil incarnate, and that everything bad in government is their fault. Even when they control EVERYTHING, if something goes wrong you can never blame Republicans. How, I have no idea. And Stantis will never tell us. Because he's not even responsible enough to make a coherent funny comic strip, much less admit that his party doesn't know how to govern - just how to make themselves wealthier and more powerful at the expense of everyone else.
But maybe you're on to something, Stantis. We shouldn't call them Republicans anymore - that soils their golden memories of their twisted reality. Let's call them Neo-Conservatives. Of Fascists. Either one works for me.
Comments
I remember the episode when Bill Frist stood in for Wizzo. After the kid won the Grand Prize Game, he didn't get a brand new Schwinn bicycle, but $100 so that Mommy and Daddy could put gas in their car.
Posted by: Sacki at September 26, 2006 10:53 AM
