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September 09, 2006
Maybe If She Left Him For Monica Lewinsky
In the past I've said that at times Scott Stantis reminds me of a child learning how to ride a bike without training wheels for the first time. You get him steady, he starts to pedal, you let go, he goes a few feet, then CRASH! he's in the ditch. Today is another example of that.
The set up is fine: Winslow breathlessly asks Carmen about the Kate Hudson/Chris Robinson break up...that was first reported August 14th.
(Sidenote: dude, I know you're going to be a few weeks behind, but nearly a month? And it's celebrity news? All you had to do was say, "Hey, did you see what Paris Hilton did?" and it would have been timely any day of the year.)
Carmen responds with a blank stare. Winslow knows why: thanks to her pure hatred of all technology, she's clueless about what's in the news. She says no - she just doesn't care.
And then the crash in the ditch - this line from Winslow:
"And you call yourself a wonk? Ha!"
Google time. Because the only time I've heard the term "wonk" recently was in reference to the liberal (well, formerly liberal) blogger The Wonkette. What does Wikipedia have to say?
Wonk has several possible meanings.
*Wonk (colloquial American English) was originally a 1960s slang word applied to an excessively studious person (equivalent to "grind" or "nerd"). The origins of the term are obscure. It has been described as a simple reversal of "know," linked to an obscure Old English word, and attributed to Royal Navy slang for a learned but inexperienced midshipman.
*Policy wonk, presumably from the above, is someone knowledgeable about and fascinated by details of government policy and programs.
*Wonk, a character from "The Adventures of Wonk" by Muriel Levy with illustrations by Kiddell-Monroe. Published by Ladybird Books in the 1940s these children's classics are now extremely rare. Wonk was a creature best described as a cuddly Koala-like bear who got himself into all sorts of trouble. Surviving copies of the Wonk books seem to be extremely fragile, perhaps due to paper shortages during the Second World War.
Okay, we can toss that last one (unless Carmen is a koala). Winslow is talking about celebrities, not politicians, so number two is out. That leaves number one. Which means he called her a nerd, or someone who is studious. Um, okay - and what does that have to do with watching Entertainment Tonight and the E! Channel?
Maybe in the Stantis household wonk - which hasn't been popular since the 60s - is still in regular usage. But around these parts, nobody uses it. Oops, wait - I found a website. Maybe this is what Stantis was referencing: www.celebritywonk.com.
But, um, that site hasn't been updated since May.
I think I know what Stantis was going for here. He wanted to have Winslow call Carmen a know-it-all, but how can she be if she doesn't keep up with EVERYTHING, including who Owen Wilson is banging? Like I said, it's not a bad joke, but the punchline is horrendous - nobody uses the word "wonk" anymore, at least not anywhere I've seen, and not in the way Stantis is using it here.
It's not like he ran out of room - Carmen leaves the last panel leaving plenty of open space. If he had spent some time thinking about this, I'm sure he could have come up with a bunch of different punchlines:
"Ha - that's why you're not the new host of The View!"
"I guess you don't know it all, do you Miss Know-It-All?!"
"Well I care! As do the rest of Americans! If Kate Hudson is a cheater, who's next? K-Fed? J-Lo? P-Diddy? TomKat? Branjelina???"
"You should care - I think this is one of the signs of the apocalypse! Right after Nick and Jessica break up!"
"Sure, you care who Bill Clinton's sleeping with, but not Kate Hudson? She's way more powerful than he is!"
"Welcome to America, Macaca!"
Two minutes. Two minutes for me to come up with punchlines I think are at least as good as using a word that hasn't been popular since "Green Acres."
Well, except that last one. Only racist Southerners think that one is funny. Where are you from again, Scotty?
Comments
I admit, I'm surprised that Scott didn't do the "Red Bull Gives you Wings" pun at all. No jokes about Winslow only drinking them so he could fly...nothing (the closest was the jump off the cliff thing, but he didn't say a thing about flying, so it's out).
That's an accomplish IMO.
Posted by: Charles Brubaker at September 9, 2006 09:22 AM
