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September 10, 2006
Looking Backward To Look Forward
Stantis finally runs the Bob Thaves tribute. RIP Mr. Thaves.
And with that being the case, Future Goggles!
* Of course Monday will be a tribute to the victims of 9/11. If we're lucky it'll be silent, and Carmen won't say that it's a good thing we invaded Iraq to avenge their deaths.
* The biggest news of last month for me was the story that Bush finally admitted that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. Yeah, most Americans (well, the smart ones anyway) have known for a while now this is the case. And it was just this past Friday that the Senate proved there was definitely no connection. But shouldn't this have been a monster story that everyone is talking about? THE main reason we went to war in Iraq - along with WMDs - WAS A LIE. Don't give me this nonsense of "bad intelligence." These guys knew going in Saddam didn't have anything to do with 9/11 (since they were planning the invasion BEFORE 9/11) and that he didn't have any WMDs, and we finally get the President to admit it and it's a blip on the "liberal" media's radar. I'd say that Stantis could have Winslow rubbing it in Carmen's face, but she'd probably pull a Rick Santorum and say there really were WMDs and that Saddam is Osama in a fake beard wearing lifts in his shoes.
* In a story I'm sure Stantis won't mention, a federal judge dropped the terror charges against "infamous dirty bomber" Jose Padilla. This case has always fascinated me, and is the perfect example of how Bush and the Republicans have no clue how to fight the war on terror. Padilla (who, if you're in the government of the media, has his last name pronounced "pa-dill-ah" - so he sounds more Muslim - yet it's actually pronounced "pa-dee-yah," since he's actually of Puerto Rican descent. And he was born in Brooklyn) was arrested in 2002. Let me type that again. He was arrested in 2002 for allegedly plotting a terror plot. It's now four years later and he's scheduled to go to trial NEXT YEAR. But not for the terror charges - no no no. That's why this story is so important, yet it was just another blip on the media's radar last month. If Stantis did do anything with this story, it would be to have Carmen blame the "liberal activist judges" for letting him get away with it. Not the government arresting a guy and holding him for four years without a trial. Oh, and without any proof that he actually committed the crime. "Speedy trial" my tuckus.
* Scientists (or "the evil god-haters" as the Religious Righties - and our government - refer to them) decided that Pluto isn't a planet. Watch for Carmen and Winslow to be standing on a rock at night talking about this topic and making an unfunny joke. What, I have no idea, other than it won't be funny and it'll probably feature "Uranus."
* Now that Cynthia McKenna-McKinney is out of the spotlight, who in the world will Stantis make fun of? How about Judge Anna Diggs Taylor, who ruled that Bush's illegal warrantless wiretapping was unconstitutional. The rightie blogosphere went ape scat over this decision - she's a smelly stinky liberal activist judge who wants the terrorists to win, blah blah blah. One more time, for the stupid Republicans in the back: WE WANT TO SPY ON TERRORISTS TOO. JUST GET A FRICKIN' WARRANT. You don't even have to get the warrant BEFORE you do it! All we ask is that within a few days - hell, a few weeks - you check with a judge to make sure it's okay. Here, let me introduce you to a word we haven't heard at all from this President or his Congress: OVERSIGHT. Newly-liberal Winslow will brag that Bush can't illegally spy on us anymore, Carmen will accuse him of loving terrorists and wanting to hug them, and then we'll see that Karl Rove has been spying on them all along without a warrant.
* Ah and let us not forget the HUGE story of last month: the JonBenet Ramsey case. Stantis will get on his high horse and slam the media for jumping to conclusions. You know, like that at first they blamed the parents, then John Mark Karr, and we now know they were all innocent. Yeesh, what's next? We find out that the media (and our government) jumped to the conclusion that Iraq had WMDs and ties to 9/11?
I wish Stantis would spend the whole week paying tribute to real artists like Bob Thaves instead: then we wouldn't have to deal with his warped view on politics AND he could rip off more jokes from better comic strippers.
