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September 17, 2006
Geez, It's Like He Heard Democrats Call Fox News "Faux News"
Ah yes, let's go back to the first week of August 2006. Israel and Hezbollah were in the midst of blowing each other to pieces and the fear was that we were on the brink of World War 3. A photographer for Reuters submitted doctored photos of the conflict, one showing additional smoke after an Israeli bomb hit Lebanon and another showing an Israeli jet dropping three flares instead of the one it actually dropped. Yes, it was a HUGE scandal, for all of about two minutes. Why? Because let's face it - odds are the photographer wanted his pics to look more dramatic than everyone else's, and Reuters immediately pulled all of the pics the guy had sold to them and people went back to worrying about the real story - you know, that whole "war" thing.
But Stantis can't let something like that go. Oh no - everyone must be held accountable for this misdeeds, especially a "biased" news organization like Reuters (yeah, I know, I haven't heard that before either but hey - most Republicans think the truth has a liberal bias). So he doctors up his own pic showing Carmen partying with the President of France at a Wham! reunion concert in Iceland.
Ha?
You can just see the gears turning in Stantis's head:
What can I have Carmen doing that would just be hysterical and so totally not like her? Well, she has to be doing something with a French guy, because French people are stupid. I mean geez, they tried to keep us from invading Iraq! God, it's like they knew Saddam didn't have ties to 9/11 and didn't have WMDs. Idiots. We sure showed them.
What else? Well, I'm around 40 years old, so when I was hitting my prime all of the girls loved Wham! and I hated them because they were obviously gay and I was still coming to terms with my sexuality. I know - they're having a reunion show and Carmen and her French friend can be there.
What's a funny country? Iceland! Oooh, what's that one city there? Reykjavik! That's got the "comedy K" sound, so that'll work.
But I need a punchline. What did Toby say back in August when this happened? Something about what they should call them...faux-tographs! Perfect. God, I'm the best comic strip artist ever. Now I'm going to go listen to my Toby Keith records as I hop in my SUV and go salute the flag, because I'm more patriotic than you.
And there you have it: the anatomy of a "gag." Maybe some people think the image of Wham! with the President of France if funny, I dunno. Me, it didn't make me chuckle. I guess mainly because this is a joke that he could have done back in mid-August - you know, when it was timely.
But I think Stantis has a point. We shouldn't let people in the media get away with publishing something that's false. We should force them to admit their mistakes and never let them forget.
With that in mind, I'm demanding that Scott Stantis publish an apology stating that no Democrats ever took money from Jack Abramoff, and in fact Abramoff persuaded his clients to donate LESS money to Democrats - so Stantis's claim that Dems are just as guilty as the corrupt Republicans were flat-out wrong.
But that would just be vindictive of me, since Stantis called his fat Howard Dean a liar over the issue months ago. Oh, wait, the Abramoff scandal? Turns out that IS still relevant: Republican Senator Bob Ney just pleaded guilty to his dealings with the convicted lobbyist, and implicated Republican Senator Mel Reynolds in their dealings. And nary a mention of any Democrats, because they had nothing to do with Abramoff.
I'll be expecting your apology in a timely manner, Mr. Stantis. Which for you will probably be next December. December 2007, that is.
Comments
Sorry to nitpick, but Robert Ney is a U.S. representative from Ohio (not senator) and Mel Reynolds is a disgraced former Democratic congressman from Illinois. He had a thing for underage school girls in Catholic school uniforms and got caught, pleading guilty to having sex with a 16-year-old in the mid-90s.
Posted by: jackmac at September 17, 2006 08:36 PM
I apologize for my sloppiness - Ney is a Republican Congressman, and the other politician is actually Mel Martinez, a Republican Senator from Florida (Mel Reynolds wasn't involved with Abramoff as far as I know, probably because Abramoff isn't a teenage staffer).
Posted by: The Furnace at September 17, 2006 08:55 PM
Yeah, this was one of the weirdest non-sequiters ever in a strip that is just one weird non-sequiter after another.
Posted by: Annie at September 18, 2006 12:59 PM
