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August 19, 2006
Wanted: Comic Strip Writer - Must Be Funny. Scott Stantis Need Not Apply
My first reaction upon reading today's Prickly City: what the f*ck am I supposed to do with this sh*t?
Winslow is counting on faith? And he's counting on steroids, even though Carmen is the one who was tempted to take them in a past storyline? And what the hell do steroids have to do with a ball of twine? The set up's okay, but the punchline makes zero sense. Welcome to Prickly City. Coming soon: a new writer, hopefully. We here at Shrubville are going to skip the faith and steroids and just hope that editors around the country realize this guy doesn't make any sense AND he's not funny.
"But the funny pages need a conservative voice," Stantis supporters might say. "We need a Republican there to balance all of the stinky smelly liberals." But does Stantis really represent those views anymore? I don't think he even knows.
He opposes embryonic stem cell research, while the majority of Americans support federally funding it. Although I will admit that the people who think this debate is the equivalent of "take a life to save a life" would be on the extreme right. Which leads me to ask Mr. Stantis this hypothetical question: You're in a fertility clinic. In one corner, a frozen petri dish filled with 12 fertilized eggs. In another corner, a 2 year old girl. A fire breaks out. You can only save one. Which do you save?
Of course Stantis and the like "don't do hypotheticals." It's too hard to justify in their minds that in order to believe what they do, they'd have to leave behind the baby and save a frozen petri dish that's just going to be thrown in the garbage anyway.
Then Stantis went into the whole "Republicans are out of ideas and the Democrats never had any" spiel. Note to Scott: having the opposite idea doesn't mean you don't have any ideas. Republicans want to "stay the course" in Iraq. Democrats oppose it. You know, like most Americans.
Correction: according to RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman, the Republicans have "changed course" in Iraq. They now want to "adapt and win," whatever that means. It doesn't mean withdrawing troops though like the majority of Americans - and Democrats - want.
And today we get a stupid ball of twine where once again Winslow has faith and Carmen looks on like a doofus.
Scott Stantis needs to accept that he's out of the mainstream. It's not 2004, when he and other neo-cons were riding the Fear Train and acting like they ruled the world. People support embryonic stem cell research. They don't like the way Republicans are running the country. In fact, they favor Democrats in the 2006 elections. Americans realize that they were lied to in order to go to war in Iraq, they know that "stay the course" or "adapt to win" are just talking points, and they want our troops to start coming home. And Americans want funny comic strips with characters that don't flip flop every other day.
In other words Scott, they don't want you.
And I don't want to listen to the podcast, so if anyone does feel free to clue us in as to how Mr. Stantis wants to explain yet again how we're all stupid because we don't see his brilliance. Hey - he's just like President Bush! Wrong on Iraq, wrong on stem cells, wrong on tax cuts for the rich - the list goes on and on! Well at least we know Scott will always have one fan.
