« Wanted: Comic Strip Writer - Must Be Funny. Scott Stantis Need Not Apply | Main | Incredible Mr. Limp »
August 20, 2006
The Moyas!
I'm trying to figure out who's dumber: Carmen, Winslow, or me for reading this strip and writing about it.
It was only a month ago that Winslow took the time to explain that he does not sweat - he cools himself by panting. So today Carmen shaves off his fur in an effort to cool him. What, is she the biggest idiot in Prickly City? Or does she have a terrible memory? It's hard to tell if Winslow agreed to go along with this, or if Stupid Carmen shaved him without permission. Then again I'm the one who read it and am now bitching about it, so it's a close race between Carmen and me for the Moron of the Year Award (or the Moyas for short). Eh, who am I kidding - Carmen wins. I may be a moron, but at least I didn't vote for W.
Hey, that gives me an idea. Who else should win a Moya? We'll keep it to the past month so Carmen has a chance of remembering who we're talking about.
The Dumbest Racist Award goes to George Felix Allen Jr. in a walk. It's not just that he referred to someone using the ethnic slur "Macaca," it's that he said it to the guy WHILE THE GUY WAS VIDEOTAPING HIM. Next time if you want to deny being a racist at least make sure there isn't video evidence of it.
The Stupidest Republican in Connecticut Award goes to Joe Lieberman, who doesn't understand that once you lose in the primary, then the proper thing to do - since your own party members don't want you - is to support the guy in your party that did win. Look for The Stupidest Voters in the Country Award to go to the folks in Connecticut if they actually re-elect him in the fall as the "Lieberman for Lieberman" candidate.
The Dumbest President Award will always go to George W. Bush, but it's fun to come up with different reasons why. I'm going with his reaction to a judge in Detroit saying his warrantless wiretapping is illegal and needs to be stopped. Check out the video at around the 1:20 mark. Either W had trouble with his earpiece, or he went off script and didn't know how to get back on.
The Dumbest RNC Chairman Award belongs to Ken Mehlman, who thinks a new slogan ("Adapt to win") is going to win the war in Iraq. Personally I think a real military and political strategy would be a better way to go, but Republicans can't be bothered with details like that.
The Moronic Media Outlet Award goes to every cable news channel in America. The President's illegal spying program is ordered to be stopped, but what's the big news? A 10-year-old murder case where everyone presumed the parents guilty but now they're all leaping to the conclusion that this new guy did it. I swear to god that MSNBC this morning had "breaking news" that the accused's plane was AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY IN THAILAND. That's right - it's big news that this guy's plane was about to take off. War in Iraq? A broken cease-fire between Israel and Lebanon? Who needs it when we have other stories to distract us from the real issues of the day? Don't be shocked that the day another buddy of Bush's is indicted that someone comes forward in the Natalee Holloway case.
The Dumbest Country Award, in a shocker, goes to England and the rest of the Brits. Sure they broke up an accused terror plot to blow up planes flying to the United States (the perennial winner of this award), but due to pressure from the U.S. they went ahead and busted the guys way before they should have. But what's more important - covering up Lieberman's loss to Lamont, or having enough evidence to actually convict these guys? So far none of the suspects have been charged with any crimes.
Dumbest Oil Company? BP of course for letting one of their oil pipelines in Alaska to get so bad they'll have to shut it down, limiting the supply which will raise prices even more. I mean, it's not like they've got billions of dollars in profits every year to fix things like that.... Then again maybe they're not so stupid, and that Dumbest Country Award should be shared with the Americans that voted for W and his oil buddies.
I could go on and on with these. We've got Dick Cheney and others calling Ned Lamont the Al Qaeda candidate. Another racist congressman talked about how African-Americans can't swim. And so on. But you know we have to include one last big one...
We proudly announce that Scott Stantis has once again been named Stupidest Comic Strip Writer. There are oh so many reasons, but I'm going with his thinking we'd forget that it was only a month ago that Winslow explained he doesn't sweat so shaving off his hair is a stupid idea. Nothing like forgetting your own storylines, Scott. Scott Stantis: you're the Stupidest Comic Strip Writer in the World!
(On a side note, why does that rock formation on the right look like a cell phone?)
