« I Was Publicly Educated | Main | I Would've Voted For Kodos Anyway »
August 26, 2006
Fall Lineup
It's a nothing strip today. Winslow melts in the hot summer desert sun. I'm sure if I tried I could talk about global warming, but feh.
Instead, I'd like to try something different. With the fall TV season starting it got me to thinking: what would our favorite television shows be like if they were based on Washington politics? Let's take a look at the lineup on our newest cable network: WHTV.
Prison Break: With his brother Jack Abramoff in prison for a crime he did commit, Tom DeLay gets arrested and convicted (for a crime he's actually guilty of) and put in the same prison. Tom has an elaborate plan to break both of them out, along with their cellmates Scooter Libby and Ken Lay (oops, I guess we know which one dies in the season opener). Just as they scale the wall, they discover that President Bush has already pardoned all of them.
Supernatural: The Relgious Right team up to fight a boogeyman that threatens their entire world: global warming. Despite record heatwaves and the support of every respectable scientist in the world, the Righties believe that denial is their greatest weapon against melting glaciers.
America's Funniest Home Videos: Watch as Republican George Felix Allen Jr. is so stupid he calls a guy WITH A VIDEO CAMERA an ethnic slur! Watch as Republican Tramm Hudson says on video that blacks can't swim! You never know what these racist conservatives will say even after they realize someone is taping everything they're saying.
Deal or No Deal: Host George W. Bush puts forward all kinds of legislation in front of Congress and they have to decide: "Deal, or no deal?" They say "deal" every time. The alternate version, where President Bush poses the same question to the American public, ends with the people saying "no deal" every time, but that was deemed too negative by the White House.
Vanished: The story of the surplus Bill Clinton handed to President Bush. Also, the good will the world showed us after 9/11.
Law & Order: DC: In the first half hour the President breaks the law time and time again, in the second half hour the media and Congress help to keep him from being put on trial for his crimes.
Heroes: Russ Feingold, Ned Lamont, and other Democrats do their best to fight off the evil Republican machine led by their arch enemy Karl Rove. Rove's superpowers include the ability to control the minds of half the country into believing everything he says.
Help Me Help You: Katherine Harris helps George Bush steal the 2000 election - will Georgie help her win her bid for a Florida Senate seat despite her clearly being horny and insane? Maybe she'll get help from her new friend Joe Lieberman - he's getting plenty of help from the Republicans even though he's supposedly a Democrat.
20 Good Years: Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and President Bush spend the hour explaining to us their "strategy" in Iraq. Afghanistan is never mentioned.
So there you have it - the new fall lineup courtesy of the politics of today. Which show would you watch? And what would you like to see as a mid-season replacement? Me, I'd love to see more shows about Democrats in there - maybe in November.
(PS: I couldn't come up with a good Veronica Mars example, but damn if I'm not going to wedge that pic onto this site somehow.)
Comments
Since when has Shrubville become a soft-core porn site? I can appreciate your attraction to Kristen Bell, and I wouldn’t want to restrict your right to ogle Ms. Bell, and her right to be ogled, however it’s disconcerting and off-putting to come looking for wry comments on politics and be confronted with Maxim.
Posted by: Anonymous at August 28, 2006 01:11 PM
I agree, Anonymous (if that is your real name). Seems the downhill slide began some time ago when we weren't paying attention. Next thing you know, we're a bestiality site and we've broken the fourth wall and are actually the subject of a Prickly City strip.
Posted by: Sacki at August 28, 2006 02:15 PM
