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July 29, 2006
I've Got a Full House...In My Pants
Leave it up to Stantis to point out that TV is filled with reality shows and poker tournaments during the summer. They should have had Carmen and Winslow standing in front of a red brick wall with microphones in front of them. "What's the deal with summer television??" Um, it's always sucked, Stantis. And these are jokes people made ages ago (Too much reality TV: two summer ago. Too much poker: last summer. Try to keep up, Scooter).
Far be it from Stantis to point out the other sure sign that TV sucks: too many Republican talking heads. But hey, I'm sure their ratings are skyrocketing since they're just going against Big Brother 7 and Celebrity Poker Showdown, right? Right?
I just thank gawd that some braintrust hasn't come up with the idea to combine these things. Watching Bill O'Reilly and Simon Cowell and Ann Coulter playing Texas Hold 'em where the loser gets voted off would make my eyes bleed.
(On a side note, did you see Ann Coulter saying that Bill Clinton is a closet homosexual and Al Gore is a fag? What's funny is that she's a blond in her 40s that some men actually find attractive yet she's not married and has an adam's apple. Who's gay?)
If I remember correctly Stantis is on vacation (or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part). Odds are that means a few weeks of obvious putdowns of popular culture, which isn't nearly as fun as when Stantis is advocating punching people who do things you don't like or trying to make light of war by referring to the enemy as hamsters. It also means we won't get his brilliant insight into what's happening in the Middle East. Aw nuts, what will we ever do? Me, I'm just gonna pad out my entries as much as I can, just like this one.
(Pictured above from left to right: Neil Cavuto, Bill O'Reilly, Simon Cowell, Ann Coulter, and Sean Hannity.)
