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June 11, 2006
Hey, My Hermano, Can You Draw This?
I'm not sure what's more embarrassing - the fact that Scott Stantis tries to be hip by using the slang terms "kickin" and "kicks" (roughly translated: bad ass shoes), or that he follows that up by saying "my amigo." Who says "my" amigo? Maybe it's because I took Spanish in high school, but it's always been "mi amigo" around these parts. Then again Prickly City's far right Republican readers might have had a conniption fit if they found out that little Carmen was a Mexican. "Illegal! Boot her out! And her little cat too!"
What's more frustrating than embarrassing though is that today's strip is about shoes. Wednesday's strip was about shoes as well - God's shoes (he likes New Balance). So does Stantis make ANY kind of reference to actually try and tie his storyline and his Sunday strip together? Nope. Not even a flip remark about how they're "God-recommended." Laziest comic strip writer ever.
I know I said I wasn't going to strap them on yesterday, but since today's strip is a little thin...Future Goggle time! What was happening in the world a few weeks ago that Scott Stantis could use as fodder for PC?
- Pat Robertson says thanks to his holy energy drink he can leg-press 2000 pounds. No, that's not an extra zero at the end there - two THOUSAND pounds. Which is mighty impressive for a man in his seventies, and since most weight lifters say there aren't any machines that actually can carry two grand in weight. I'm hoping Carmen orders a box of the stuff hoping to get super human strength, but all it does is let her leg-press stuff really well. Lotta good that'll do her in the desert. Then again, one day Winslow could get pinned by a boulder and it's up to Carmen to leg-press him out. She couldn't do it though (come on, a holy energy drink? God-ade?), but then God's big finger would come along and roll the boulder away. Then he could ask Winslow, "new shoes?" and Winslow would have to explain that they're not New Balance, and God would strike him down with a lightning bolt.
- FBI agents - with a warrant - raided the Congressional offices of allegedly corrupt Democcratic Congressman William Jefferson. I say allegedly because that's what you're supposed to say before the guy's convicted, but come on - they have him on video taking a hundred thousand dollar bribe and then found ninety grand of it in his freezer at home. The Republicans of all people panicked and said the FBI had crossed the line. Not because they care about what happens to a corrupt Democrat, but because they know their offices are about to be raided shortly since there are at least a dozen of them already under investigation. Hmm, how could this play out in PC...maybe Carmen is accused of taking payola of some kind, and Winslow comes to her defense...but it turns out he's really the guilty one anyway. Nah, that's not funny. Then again, this is Stantis we're talking about...
- Any chance Stantis - now supposedly not a fan a Bush - tackling the fact that during a press conference with Tony Blair the President admitted some mistakes, but as soon as he finished saying that he had a big smirk on his face? Nah, Stantis probably doesn't know how to draw a smirk.
- Remember when somebody heard "gunshots" in the Capitol complex and everybody immediately assumed it was a terrorist attack? My first thought - some dumbass heard a car backfiring and freaked since it's a post-9/11 world. I was wrong though - it was some guy using an air hammer in an elevator. Not sure how that would fit into PC, but I wanted to remind everybody of that stupid incident.
- Lay and Skilling were convicted in the Enron case, proving the justice system still has a chance. Maybe Stantis will have Winslow and Carmen just standing around talking about it, since that's what he does with everything nowadays.
- Oh god...he's going to spend a week bashing Al Gore and his movie "An Inconvenient Truth." Yup, it's going to be a week of people in the desert telling us there is no such thing as global warming, and comparing Gore to the Nazis. Wonderful. Maybe they'll have him guest star like they did on that lame South Park a few weeks ago and make him look gay. That was funny.* (as is the mantra of this site, if you can't tell I'm being sarcastic)
While writing this I noticed I wasn't able to come up with cutesy ways that Winslow and Carmen could play out these news stories. I don't think it's because I've lost my imagination - it's because I know Stantis won't even try. The last time he did that he put Winslow in the desert looking for weasels, and that backfired so badly Stantis is afraid to take a side on anything. And even then he was just having them either standing or crouching in the desert. The most effort we get from him anymore is showing Winslow falling off a cliff and sorry, been there, done that. What happens when Shrubville, one of the few groups of people that read PC, become so bored with it even we get tired of making fun? Is that what it'll take for Stantis to quit on it like he did his "Sydney" strip as Charles found out? One can only hope.
