Shrubville

Dear Mr. The Furnace (if that is your REAL name):

This is Scott Stantis. No, it's not Toby, and it's not one of my many interns. I felt the need to address you personally since that's how you've been attacking me with your website, www.shrubville.com. At first I was flattered that you would take the time to critique Prickly City - as I've always said, it's nice to hear what the fans have to say about my work.

But your site goes too far. And I am asking you to cease and desist immediately. Now this isn't an official letter - if you choose to ignore my request though, my team of lawyers is drafting the letter as I type this. I would prefer it though not to come to that.

However I believe you have crossed some serious legal lines. You are using images of Carmen and Winslow on your site without my permission. You might call them satire and parody, but I will not allow you to have drawings of them done better than what I'm able to do on a daily basis on my strip. You might have time to craft perfectly drawn characters but I don't - I've got a life to live, losers.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to write Prickly City? I lay awake at nights thinking of ways to make fun of politics and try to have a political discourse with my faithful readers. My focus is on the writing, not trying to make my characters look perfect every single time. That would drive a normal cartoonist mad - ask any of them. But I'm sure you won't because you're too afraid to leave your parents' basement.

You're not funny. Sacki is insightful at times and I applaud his efforts to offer a sane counter to the unfunny rants of you and CJo. You want to know how I know I'M funny? Because I have a nationally syndicated comic strip. Sure, you'll say it's because I'm conservative. I say it's because I'm the funniest comic strip writer on the planet. And I have an army of followers who will back me up on that. What have you got, other than a blow-up girlfriend?

So as I said, please shut down Shrubville immediately or I will have no other choice than to send my trial lawyers after you. You might be the first to try and attack me and my conservative beliefs, and you won't be the last, but I'll make sure I use my money and resources to make sure the only freedom of speech around here is MINE.