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March 08, 2006
The Great Dicktators
'Tis spring, you know. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming (in Alabama at least), Sports Illustrated is publishing excerpts from a book on Barry Bonds and steroids, and Scott Stantis is going CRAZY.
As you'all helpfully pointed out yesterday: If Carmen has a crush on Stantis look-alike Tucker Carlson -- whether it means Stantis is depicting the forbidden love between an 8-year-old girl and her creator or the equally forbidden love between a man and his own mouthpiece (aka, self-fellating) -- any way you slice it, it comes up peaNUTS.
Today he goes from the ludicrous to the really fucking ludicrous by adding Josef Stalin to the mix.
I can picture Scott hovering over the drawing pad, all hot and/or bothered at the thought of finally have the guts to follow HIS dream: to draw Carmen having a crush on HIM. He decides he needs to soften it a bit by throwing in some "humor," but his brain is so addled with thoughts of his own dick that he can only add a "tator" to the end (and subtract the "k") and google 'dictator.' He wades through a couple of Hitler photos, a stray Qaddafi website, a couple of left-leaning sites referencing Bush, then WHOOMP THERE IT IS: Stalin. "He's not really wearing a bow-tie, but his shirt is buttoned to the top, and I'd find a better fit for my 'joke' but I've got to continue drawing l'il hearts around Carmen..."
And so endeth the session.
And the syndicate sighs.
And the readership shrugs.
And we're here to pick up the pieces.
Comments
Does this mean Stantis has Winslow fail to fly because he can't "get it up?"
Posted by: The Furnace at March 8, 2006 12:41 PM
That's a capital zinger, Furnace. I think CJo owes you a trip to the discount Dolly Madison store to buy you a capital zinger.
All that aside, why not, say..."Farrakhan wears a bow tie"? I think the omission reveals anti-semitism!
Posted by: Sacki at March 8, 2006 03:07 PM
What are we to make about the strip with the lecherous Michael Moore? With Carmen's rants about thong panties and low-rise jeans? Is there some fixation with images of innocence lurking in Scottie's bow-tied bosom?
And yes, what about the Reverend Minister Farrakahn? Or is Carmen's lust for the bow cancelled by the presence of the dress crown?
Posted by: Annie at March 8, 2006 05:15 PM
Former Senator Paul Simon was a pretty hot piece of bow-tie-wearing ass.
Posted by: Anonymous at March 8, 2006 05:52 PM
