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December 22, 2005
Semper Fudge

See that guy above? He's a great guy. A former "troop" who put in his partial time and worked his way up the ranks to become "commander in chief." And yet he goes to bed and cries every night, because some jerks disagree with him and don't support him. He tries to take solace in bike rides and pretzels, but the overwhelming sense of despair causes him to lose focus and he winds up injured (and it's tacitly your fault).
This commander in chief guy, he's got a lot on his proverbial plate. He's got worries. He's got trouble. He's got wounds to bind. But when he woke up this morning --- YOU were on his mind. He just wants your approval. (Currently, only 41% of you do approve!) If he had any extra tote bags and umbrellas to give away, you bet he would. For just a little support each month, that's all he's asking for.
This elected leader of our republic is only asking for the opportunity to crush dissenters and jail those who don't support the troops in a manner in which he doesn't approve. So send him a card or pick up the phone once in a while, let him know that you're still there.
Comments
This is the first time in ages that Stantis has got me so riled up that I dropped the F bomb a few times in his name. You're a coward, Stantis. Just like our President.
Posted by: The Furnace at December 22, 2005 10:53 AM
Yes, the way to support our troops is to send them to an unjust war so that they can die or get maimed for no good reason.
The new character should be Troopie the Tarantula, an out-of-shape spider called up with his reserve unit to maintain curfew in a small town in Iraq.
Posted by: Annie at December 22, 2005 12:17 PM
I had the same reaction as The Furnace. God, what an asshole this guy Stantis is.
I usually read this crap knowing Scotty's a tinfoil-hat wearing, dim-witted troglodyte with no discernable talent. So he usually doesn't piss me off. But with today's installment I nearly screamed 'WTF' on a commuter train filled with children and wanted to take my Tribune, roll it up and ram it up his ass and ask him 'if you're so pleased with this fucking war, why aren't you there?'
Most of the country wants out Scotty. Get a clue.
Posted by: jackmac at December 22, 2005 03:16 PM

