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December 24, 2005
Goodwill Shopping, starring Matt Damon
Carmen and Wilson wish us "Peace on earth, goodwill towards men" - Winslow in a non-sexist, secular way - Carmen is a sexist, religious way. I was originally going to try to figure out if Stantis was quoting from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's Christmas Bells poem, or Luke, ch. II, v. 13-14 - but who cares. Seriously - THERE IS NO WAR ON CHRISTMAS. Let it go, neo-cons - let it go.
Instead, since it IS Christmas Eve, here are the gifts I'm going to get our little Scooter for this holiday:
- This handy dandy course that claims you can become a pro cartoonist in 12 easy steps for only $19.95 (oops, I'm not supposed to tell him how much it costs - it is Xmas after all). Stantis already has the "pro" part down (how I have NO idea), so he should only need six steps to become a real cartoonist.
- This free (oops) course on Character Development. Maybe then Carmen and Winslow will have a point of view and stick with it.
- A direct link to www.military.com. You signing up to fight ought to show those cowardly Democrats - right, Scotty? Right? You still there? Or are you hiding under your desk? Put up or shut up, big boy. (Sorry, that strip the other day pissed me off.)
- An easy-to-use checklist so he can follow all of the scandals and corruption coming out of his Republican party. Lord knows we'll all need one - Frist, Delay, Cunningham, Ney, Abramoff, Libby, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Hastert, etc. Maybe they can get enough guys to put together a football team in prison like in "The Longest Yard."
- A tin foil hat so his President can't listen in on Scotty's thoughts without a warrant. That's right, I said it - HIS President.
- A towel to cry in as 2006 progresses.
Merry X-mas* to you, Scott Stantis. Merry X-mas, everyone.
("X-mas" here refers to ALL holidays in the month of December.)
Comments
...Not meant in a sexually neutral way? As in, goodwill toward men, and only men? Leave it to Scotty to find a way to piss people off by wishing them well.
Posted by: JB at December 24, 2005 10:44 AM
What's doubly confusing about today...The sentiment "Peace on Earth" is something even the most rabid, Jesus-ignoring, secular humanist could get behind.
Posted by: CJo at December 24, 2005 01:30 PM
