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September 08, 2005
He Used To Drive That Blue Car
Nincompoop.
Stalinist.
Fascist.
Stalinist fascist.
Stupid girl lover.
When you get around to playing the at-home version of America's favorite comic-strip board game, PC2K5, feel free to liven up the chatter by throwing around a few of these lovely names. If, of course, you're lucky enough to have been able to get to play the Carmen character. (Supplies needed: cooked spaghetti for your hair, fried bologna for the lips, a frying pan for the forehead and a pocketful of hate for those whose ideologies you disagree with.) It's akin to being the wheelbarrow in Monopoly - everybody wants to play as the wheelbarrow, but only the lucky one can.
Or perhaps, as second choice of course, you get to play as Winslow. All you need to do is wear some sort of magical article of clothing or possibly a piece of jewelry that you can attach some significance to by claiming some dead & bearded philosopher/prophet gave mystical powers to. You know, like a Che shirt or possibly a necklace with a cross attached to it or...what? Am I still talking about Winslow?
I'm a bit confused, I must confess. All this time, I was under the impression that Carmen was on the side of worshipping radicals from long ago who convinced large groups of people to follow their wacky ideas. So look out, Andre The Giant. Carmen doesn't care how big you are or whether you have a posse, and I fear she's not afraid to use a thimble to take you out.
Comments
And here I thought that this story arc was going to be about the new hot button issue in Washington: pantless cartoon characters. It would make about as much sense as brussel sprouts = flag burning.
And the wheelbarrow is the piece everyone wants to play as? As if! I'll take the racecar anyday. Vroom!
Posted by: JB at September 8, 2005 11:47 AM
