August 31, 2005
C & C Poem Factory
Dearest Coulter, Annie
I'd like to spank your fanny.
You're a hot and sexy tranny,
my dearest Coulter, Annie.
Oh, wait. Sorry. That was a leftover from Monday.
Today the identity of Ms. (or Mr.) C. remains a mystery as Winslow catches Carmen peeping through his personal computer. And wouldn't you know it -- and if you read Monday's post you WOULD know it -- the concept of the Patriot Act is evoked.
Speaking of...
Snoop me, sneak me, examine every inch.
But when you're done invading me,
please give a hearty pinch.
Tap me, read me -- everything is nice.
But when you're done invading me,
Kiss me, Condi Rice.
Another leftover Winslow poem! Sorry.
I got nothing else.
Posted by CJo at 10:31 AM | Comments (2)August 30, 2005
The C Word
Apparently our coyote-whore Winslow is cheating on his "one true love," Shelly, and is writing love poems to a neo-con simply known as "C" in today's Prickly City.
And looking at my "You Might Be a Neo-Con If..." checklist, then Winslow is well on his way to being a stooge for the Republican Right.
In love with a neo-con? Check. Cheating on his wife/girlfriend/love? Check. Bad poet? Double check. Add in that he tried to snort a banana a few months ago, and Winslow is well on his way to earning his degree from Bob Jones University.
Of course today's mystery is supposed to leave us wonder, "Who is C?" Is it Carmen and her neo-con ways? An unknown Bush girl? A moving-to-the-middle Hillary?
Nah - I'm going with the ultimate neo-con nut - Ann Coulter. She of the "New Yorkers would immediately surrender if invaded by terrorists." She of "If you're not a neo-con you're committing treason." She of "I used to be a man."
I'm saddened that Winslow is most likely in love with the craziest "woman" in the world. Yeah, he's got - I'm sorry, she's got long legs and blond hair, something a turtle doesn't have. But maybe this is just Winslow being a typical liberal with his love of alternative lifesyles and being a glutton for punishment.
And now I'm left wondering what Anny Boy would look like as a character in Prickly City. Please, email us your sketches of what Ann Coulter and Winslow would look like at their gay wedding, and we'll post them on the site (if CJo says it's okay). Be creative, people! Remember, lips look like tears, and tubes of stuff that look like toothpaste are allowed.
Posted by The Furnace at 06:46 AM | Comments (5)August 29, 2005
The Love Song of J. Winslow Poocock
How convenient. I'm back and Stantis is gone. By "gone," of course, I mean "absolutely cuckoo." Carmen gets all Patriot-Act'y and starts snooping through Winslow's computer only to find something that so Shocks and Awes Carmen that it MUST be love poems to Shelly the Turtle.
I can only imagine what those must be like...
I rend your shell through an underside crack,
Since I don't know which is front or which is the back.
And your mouth, well, it hurts when your jaws do snap.
At least I think it's your mouth and not your ass.
or
It hurtle
my yertle
when I hump
Shelly the turtle.
or
Dearest Shelly:
your backside is smelly.
Or maybe it's my nose, it's
too close to your halitosis.
or
My love-making...it couldn't be simpler,
it ends with a bang and not with a whimper.
Shelly, please take it from the back or the front.
To me it doesn't matter if it's your mouth or your...
[At which point Carmen turns off the computer and contacts the local authorities.]
Posted by CJo at 10:18 AM | Comments (6)August 28, 2005
In Space, No One Can Hear You....
Excuse me for a moment.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Thanks. And no, that's not my "Howard Dean."
That's my reaction to today's big Sunday strip. Remember what I was saying yesterday about wide open spaces? Yup, Stantis does it again - this time it's a full color panel where half of it is simply blue. Way to make good use of colors, Scoots.
But the bigger offense is that today's strip MAKES NO SENSE. Winslow has been eaten by a snake. Potential for funny. But then Winslow says something about wanting to whine, but he doesn't want to judge the snake's "lifestyle." Of course these are both slams on liberals, because all liberals are whiners who are open to alternative lifestyles. But what the heck does a snake eating a coyote have to do with lifestyles? Did he choose to be a carnivore? Apparently, according to Stantis, yup - the Intelligent Designer had nothing to do with a snake eating animals apparently.
I wonder if this has something to do with an article I read yesterday:
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-dinosaurs27aug27,0,6894033.story?coll=la-home-local
According to Creationists (and I'm betting supporters of Intelligent Design), the dinosaurs (and I'm betting snakes) used to be vegitarians. Then Adam and Eve sinned, so they decided to start eating meat. So ultimately it's not the snake's fault he chose the lifestyle of eating meat - it's the devil's. Who, you might remember, appeared as a snake when he tempted those two naked teenagers.
Once again:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 27, 2005
Kids These Days
(And yes, for those of you wondering why I always put up just the link instead of the fancy schmancy "Today's Strip" like CJo, I am an idiot when it comes to the internet.)
There's nothing like wide open spaces. I'm sure that's why W chose Idaho for his vacation from his vacation - to ride his bike in the big wide open spaces where there's miles and miles of nothing. It gives him plenty of time to ponder what he's going to eat that night, thinking to himself, "I like toast."
Scott Stantis too loves the open space - hence why half of his strips seem to feature a blank panel or two instead of witty insights. Today's no exception - the middle of the strip is nothing but white - clean, pure white. It's pretty in a "I'm a half-assed cartoonist and I don't get paid by the drawing, so screw you" kind of way.
As for the strip, I'm reminded of the fact that I don't have children. I miss out on the little things - like watching your kid take his first steps or ride a bike for the first time. There's this encouragement after they barely do something for the first time - and then disappointment after they keep failing over and over again. But someday, that kid is going to accomplish his goals, because they'll grow as a person.
I'd like to think of Scooter as my child. Every week I see him trying - like taking his first steps or putting those training wheels to good use. And at first he seems to have it - setting up a punchline that might actually lead somewhere. And I encourage him: "Come on Scotty, now give me a funny out! You can do it, buddy! I know you can!"
Like today - Carmen wonders why kids are so fat. We all know what's coming - Winslow will be eating fast food while playing video games. "Come on Scott - you're almost there - pedal harder - you've got it boy..."
Then comes the punchline: Lard Blaster 3.0.
And my heart sinks, and the bike goes tumbling into the ditch.
Just another day trying to raise a child in the 2000s.
August 26, 2005
Don't Cry for Me, Prickly City
Stantis chooses to go out with a whimper instead of a bang in this week's Prickly City. Channeling the dramedy of such classics as "Doogie Howser, MD." and "Hooperman," Scott leaves us with a tear in our eye instead of a belly laugh (not that he's ever left us with a laugh before, but you know what I mean).
In response to Winslow calling her "porky" yesterday, Carmen yells back the whole "sticks and stones" thing. Then after standing around, she sheds a tear - because, you know, words really can hurt.
At least I think it's a tear - the way Stantis draws, it looks like she's got a second set of lips.
But I wonder if this means Stantis has finally realized that every time he calls a political opponent a name that it could really hurt their feelings. Does this mean he'll never call Michael Moore fat again? Or Howard Dean crazy? Of course not. But it's fun to dream.
Oh and today's strip never directly reference's this week's storyline, so look for Scooter to reuse it again in the future when he can't come up with anything else for the day. At least it'll be easier to use than eminent domain "jokes."
August 25, 2005
My Mother Says I'm Big Boned
Winslow calls Carmen different fat names. She gets mad, ties him up like a G'itmo prisoner, and he yells after her not to blame him when she fails as a starlet because she's fat. Or something like that.
How Stantis fails to make some of this stuff funny is beyond me. How do you screw up fat jokes? And does anyone call overweight people "porky" anymore? Maybe somebody needs to buy Scooter a copy of the book "Yo Mamma Is So Fat...and Other Comedic Bon Mots."
Personaly, I wonder what Stantis WON'T be covering over the next few weeks because he won't want to make fun of them:
- President Bush's approval level down to where Nixon - the most unpopular president ever - was at during Watergate
- Rush Limbaugh smearing the mother of a dead solder, then claiming the very next day that he NEVER said that
- Pat Robertson encouraging the murder of the democratically-elected Venezuelan president because, you know, he has oil but he doesn't like us
- Pat Robertson then claiming the very next day that he NEVER said that
Oh, and what are the numbers on Stantis working in a Michael Moore joke before the end of this storyline? Because, you know, he's "porky."
August 24, 2005
CJo Held Hostage, Day Three: Mirth N' Girth
No folks, I'm not talking about the controversial portrait of Chicago Mayor Harold Washington, the one that caused former alderman, Black Panther and current U.S. Representative Bobby Rush to violate an artist's First, Fourth and Fourteenth Amendment rights. Why would I want to bring that up? I'm not here to talk about the abuses of liberty the liberals claim (emptily) to defend. Nor am I talking about any sort of slap and tickle position that I'd like to share with you.
I'm here at Shrubville to talk about the delightful 3-panel Prickly City strip in today's newspaper, available at fine bookstores and newstands near you. The minimalism - do you see it? It's all there in black and white. Spare dialogue and excess wit. No Jerry Bruckheimer-produced color necessary. No, my friends, if this were a movie, this would be "Modern Times", taking a bite out of society, a society that's gone increasingly fat, limp and stale, their hearts and waistlines growing ever bigger and more likely to explode, their hair falling out due to poor circulation, the sight of their feet a mere memory from bygone days of youth when they could see anything lower than their beltbuckle, a beltbuckle also being a distant image from the past, as now there are no belt buckles big enough to fit and they must wear suspenders, if those are indeed even necessary seeing how even the slackest pair of trousers gives a snug fit to their ever increasing girth. But hey, at least fat people are jolly.
Posted by Sacki at 09:21 AM | Comments (1)August 23, 2005
The Hunger
CJo picked a great week to go on vacation. Personally, I say we board up the joint like Stantis and just re-run strips from back in May. Instead I suppose Sacki and I can trudge forward and make the master proud.
But then I read today's strip. According to Scooter half the country is fat, the other half has an eating disorder - what does that say about a country with too much food? Winslow can't answer because he's filling his face with munchies.
I suppose I could be Captain Bringdown and talk about how millions of kids go hungry here in the United States each year, and it's not so much an eating disorder as they can't afford food. But no - Scott's got a decent set up for a joke and an actual punchline, so I'll let it slide today.
Besides, CJo's gone so it's not like he can tell me to go to bed without dinner tonight.
August 22, 2005
Faiku #3: Wrexx N' Effects
Where's CJo? Apparently, CJo has decided to take advantage of his liberal vacation policy and is away this week joining Cindy Sheehan or out on Martha's Vineyard or following the President to protest because there's no terrorism in Idaho. I can't be sure. In his absence I present you with this fake haiku, inspired (in part) by Prickly City:
M&M's so big
Like the coyote's peepers
When your rump shakes, girl.
August 20, 2005
On The Road Again
After taking off last weekend in preparation for the monumental return of Dio the Philosopher Lizard, Stantis is back in force continuing on Dio's unfunny trip to Washington to ask George W. Bush why he's not a "Real Republican."
Unfortunately, the Appointed President isn't even in DC this week - he's headed for Idaho. Not to avoid mother-of-a-soldier-who-died-for-a-lie-and-doesn't-talk-out-of-both-sides-of-her-mouth-like-Sacki-claims Cindy Sheehan. And not because it's one of the few states that actually gave him a positive approval rating (59%). Nope, he needs to visit the Potato State to talk about...terrorism? That's right - because when I think high terror alert, I worry about what's happening in Boise.
My question: didn't Stantis know that Bush was going to be on vacation for five weeks when he wrote this storyline two weeks ago (and only a week before W left for Crawford)? Granted he probably didn't know about Cindy Sheehan's vigil to find out what noble cause her son died for in Iraq, so I doubt he was witty enough to take a cheap jab at her by saying a rumored-to-be-dead lizard can walk right in to the White House and chat up Bush 2 while she gets a drive by finger from the Prez.
Scott, you're being lazy. Again.
And unfunny. Again.
August 19, 2005
Pitching Tents in Crawford
In today's Doonesbury, a talking cowboy hat meets with a... wait, wait, wait. Which strip am I reading? Did they jumble the order in my newspaper? No, no, it's Doonesbury...er...Prickly City.
Let me start over...
In today's Prickly City, Carmen and Dio manage to pull off the impossible: They actually get an audience with the President! I suppose it's as simple as just going to the White House and ding-donging the door. It sure is easier than camping out in Crawford, Texas singing folks songs. (You're in the wrong spot, Cindy! He's not vacationing! He's hard at work! In Washington, DC!)
Dio cites some figures: "In your first term, federal government spending rose 33 percent!" Since WHEN did Stantis start relying on facts and figures with respect to the President? Last time I checked, he was more concerned with figurative bites of a sandwich instead of specific details of any party platform. But hey, I guess I'll cut the guy some slack. I bet too many ideas make his teeth itch.
But seriously, we should give Stantis some credit for actually having the pole to criticize the Big Tent. Just like we should give Sacki some credit for pitching his small tent when he actually doesn't have the pole. Huzzah.
Posted by CJo at 11:15 AM | Comments (4)August 18, 2005
Pitching A Big Tent For Jenna and Barbara Bush
It appears as though my colleagues here at Shrubville are as confused as a vegan lesbian after finding a wiener on her schnitzel platter in regard to the theme in Prickly City this week:
We're uniders not dividers. Our great leader couldn't say it better.
For you see - while liberals all have to be ACLU card carrying members who by extension support NAMBLA and all the perversions that it stands for, as well as perverted cigar afficionados (Castro, Clinton, Looseinsky), in addition to being Communist sympathizers (and by extension genocide-apologists)who are proponents of bestiality - the GOP is the big tent party.
We accept all from across the spectrum. Whether the Christianity be the Catholic, six-children-having kind of Senator Rick Santorum or the thrice-married & twice-divorced Baptist sort favored by Newt Gingrich, the Republicans take them all in. Whether the music be in the thoughtful and spiritual John Ashcroft style, or the more upbeat danceable kind written by Orrin Hatch, the elephant never forgets a great song.
So what about it being a party of rich old white men? I'll leave you with this to think about - crackpot schemer George Soros: 74 years old and worth $7.2 billion(!); leader of the free world George W. Bush: 59 years young and only makes $400,000/year.
Posted by Sacki at 10:28 AM | Comments (3)August 17, 2005
The Frist Shall Be Lsat
So I'm sitting in my breakfast nook this morning doing my normal routine: sipping latte from a china cup, making fun of religion, and listening to NPR. (Oftentimes during breakfast I like to think of Sacki drinking his plain old regular coffee from a chipped mug that says "Born Loser," but that's another story.) During a boring item on NPR (imagine that!), I decided to see what else was on the dial. I turned over to some local-area wingnutjob cock-jock named Mancow to see what the "other side" was yapping about. This Mancow fellow was in the middle of a diatribe complaining about -- of all things -- President Bush! He was calling him "worse than Clinton" in terms of spending and increasing the size of the government. (The last time I flipped over to Mancow was circa 1998 when he was talking about black helicopters and Clinton and rape and how he [Mancow] was sick on a daily basis because "people loved him [Clinton]!")
So Criticism From Within seems to be hot these days. Lookout, GOP. When Mancow AND Scott Stantis are coming for you, there's some -- how shall we say -- discontent in the air.
Stantis even goes so far as to name names today. But it's only Bill Frist. From his fake scientific take on AIDS transmitted through tears and sweat to his recent FLIP-FLOP on stem cell research, he's an easy target, not only for the left but also for the right.
I'm just not all that impressed with Stantis' much-hyped August Surprise so far. But the week is only at its hump. And what follows the hump? Climax. So tune in tomorrow when Sacki cleans up.
Posted by CJo at 11:34 AM | Comments (5)August 16, 2005
Be More Funny!
In today's strip the resurrected Dio is still looking for a Real Republican, which means someone who's for lower taxes, less spending, and smaller government. I would also include that a Real Republican:
- Wouldn't lie to go to war
- Wouldn't smear the mother of a dead soldier
- Wouldn't cut taxes in a time of war
- Wouldn't try to take away states' rights by intruding in the lives of private citizens like in the case of Teri Schiavo
- Wouldn't endorse torture
- Wouldn't cheat to win an election
- Wouldn't commit treason by outing a CIA agent as revenge for someone who spoke out against said illegal war
- Would make catching Osama Bin Laden our top priority
But I guess you can't fit all of that into one panel.
However that's not my main gripe with today's strip. The last line - the kicker, the money shot - just isn't funny. "Only by a third" just redefines what Carmen says - it's not an insightful commentary, it's not a punchline, it just sits there like an unfunny lizard on a rock. How about Carmen saying, "One outta three ain't bad," with Dio responding, "Yes it is." Or how about, "Maybe if you're a Democrat." Instead we get Stantis once again preferring political commentary to, you know, being comical. Just another day in Prickly City.
August 15, 2005
He's Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
ZUFF! PAN! SNUH! POOO! ZAK! Stantis promised a "surprise" this week (in the podcast) and boy-oh-boy has he delivered! Woooooooooo-weeeeee! Take THAT all you people who thought Dio was dead. He's alive! And as cynical as ever. This is one of the greatest "surprises" ever in comic strip history. Thank you, Scott Stantis, for adding a little spice to my Corn Flakes...
Oh, wait. What's that? That's not the surprise? The surprise is that Stantis takes a limp-wristed tweak at the Grand Old Party's nose? Oh. In that case, let me say, "Booooooooooooooooring."
Can it really be a surprise to Stantis that the Republican leadership is a weird amalgam of Neo-Con, Ideologue, Social Conservative, Christian Right, and Freak Show Performer? Hasn't he been paying attention to the evolution of the Republican Party? Oh, that's right. Political Parties don't evolve! They were intelligently designed! By God!
Anyway, as you may have noticed, Shrubville is now WITH GRAPHICS! A big thanks to Monkey Book & Son Designs for the custom-made drawing. A note to Universal Press Syndicate, Scott's liberal producer/lackey Toby, and, god-willing, Scott himself: This is an original sketch of my dog, Libral, with his favorite balloon, Wingnut. Any likeness to anyone in particular is purely coincidental.
Posted by CJo at 10:26 AM | Comments (3)August 12, 2005
Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth
Today Carmen continues her study of the science of coyotes as written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. If her science book has taught her nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that coyotes should stick to coyote sports such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such. Oh, and the Good Book also notes that coyotes have a thirst for the blood of small pets.
On cue, Winslow acts horrified about eating poodles, as if ignoring his own instincts. It is, after all, very fashionable these days to ignore science. And if Scott Stantis has taught us one thing in the year-plus existence of Prickly City it's that liberals are goofy and they glom onto any fad. So in typical Liberal fashion, Winslow runs off and joins the anti-science crowd, those ultra-hip intelligent designistas. And the sensible Conservative Carmen finds solace in science.
Oh, wait. That doesn't seem right. Look what he's done! It's another brilliant moment by Stantis. He's made us all question our core beliefs by turning our expectations all topsy-turvy-like. GENIUS!
AUTHOR! AUTHOR! AUTHOR!
Come take a bow.
PS: I sneer at you.
Posted by CJo at 10:48 AM | Comments (4)August 11, 2005
For Many Are Called, But Few Chosen
What a treat for us today, dear readers: a stand-alone strip. It just goes to how great Prickly City has been lately, because actually, I don't know that it would technically be a stand-alone strip as it seems to fit with the current week's storyline. Taken by itself, or in the context of the weekly strip, it just works on so many levels. Two, to be exact.
And what a cogent point made in today's strip. Being first only counts in horse-thieving and handjobs, as the old saying goes. Take, for example, that liberal moonbat Ed Begley, Jr. So desperate was he, being a Junior, that he went out and got one of the first electric cars. Those things were more unreliable than a see-through burqa protecting an innocent lady from the vengeance of the Talibananas and their homoerotic suppression. Or take the late, great Jesus. Sure, he might not have been the first to perform a resurrection when he raised Goliath from the dead - but goddammit, nobody did it better.
And just like my gracious host and Shrubville originator CJo was the first to use the interweb as a means to comment on Prickly City, I, coming after him, have become the best. You can thank me with money.
August 10, 2005
From Monkey to Man
Well, well, well. Scott seemingly doesn't like the results of our world from the last time the monkeys were in charge. I guess I can't really blame him. We've evolved from knuckle-dragging, blood-thirsty, hairy apes into blood-thirsty, hairy apes that don't drag their knuckles as much.
But I suppose Scott's disappointment is the very fact we DID evolve. Maybe if cats roamed this earth prior to Man, evolution wouldn't have happened. The only way Man (and Woman) could have come about would have been through alien visitation...er...uh, I mean: intelligent design.
TEACH THE CONTROVERSY! Pass it on.
Posted by CJo at 10:38 AM | Comments (1)August 09, 2005
Alaska Ho
Poor Scott.
Much like a neo-con who would never let the facts get in the way of a starting a war, Stantis won't let the facts get in the way of telling a bad joke.
It happens right off the bat: Carmen tells us that coyotes don't live in Hawaii or Alaska. Hawaii I understand - but Alaska? Come on Scooter - it takes two seconds to Google that one up - (pay close attention to the paragraph in the "Distribution" section).
If Stantis doesn't care enough to actually research this stuff, then why should we care to read it? Oh, that's right - because it's fun to watch him fail each and every day.
And on top of that, his punchline deals with New Jersey. Hey Scooter - I've got some jokes about airline peanuts and people talking in movie theaters that I'll sell you cheap.
Posted by The Furnace at 06:54 AM | Comments (3)August 08, 2005
I. Ron Butterfly
Stantis takes the two-pronged approach to being a dick today.
Prong One: He makes up shit about Global Warming. "Climate models show that global warming is a natural rhythm of the planet." I mean, sure, that may be the case, but that's certainly not the entire story. When President Bush says that "further study" is needed, I pray to my favorite philosopher Christ that he means real, live scientists and not the crazy crackpot pseudo-scientists who are foisting this Intelligent Design poofest on America. I wonder if those "climate models" Stantis references are part of an exhibit in the great new museum in Arkansas which depict dinosaurs frolicking with Adam and Eve in-a-gadda-da-vida, baby. (The dinosaurs were on Noah's Ark too!)
Prong Two: Stantis wants the residents of "most of the blue states" to be frozen to death under a "mile-high glacier." Now that's just not very nose-tweaking-like, Scott. That sounds pretty hateful. For instance, if I were to wish an epidemic of the Hillbilly Flu on the Red States, I'd probably get thrown in jail. Or at the very least someone would trot out the familiar Conservative refrain, "For belonging to the party of tolerance [presumably the Democratic Party], he sure is intolerant."
(For the record, I do NOT hope that all the hillbillies in the Red States get the Hillbilly Flu. Just the ones in Alabama.)
Posted by CJo at 12:13 PM | Comments (7)August 06, 2005
Jaws 5: Just Die Already
CJo - prepare to be haunted...
Because Scott Stantis has decided to end the shark storyline on a Saturday!
Yup, what I'm betting is by far and away the slowest day for comic strips is the day that Scooter decides to put a bullet in the head of the unfunniest Prickly City strip of the month so far (although in all fairness we are only a week into August. I'm betting next week's will be much worse).
Winslow yells at Carmen for spoiling his fun of duping the media into believing he was bitten by a shark, and the joke is that the media would have never figured it out because they're too stupid. But as Ann Coulter says, the Republicans "have the media now."
So once again Stantis inadvertently calls the Republicans stupid. Which I guess makes sense since he's a Republican, making him stupid too. And as Forrest's mom says, "Republican is as Republican does" - or something like that.
To continue the stupidity, Stantis has Winslow once again show his interest in bestiality by saying he blew his chance at getting Laurie Dhue's phone number. This led me to Google, since I don't know who that is.
It turns out Miss Dhue is a hot news anchor on Fox News. In the words of my neo-con friend Mel, "I'd bang her." But how would Winslow know who she is if she's on Fox News and he's a dirty dirty liberal? My head hurts.
At least this stupid desert shark storyline is over.
Dear Jeebus I hope this storyline is over...there's still Sunday...and a one panel color strip that needed to be done two weeks ago...cage is in the water...shark is in the water...eyes like a doll's eyes...
Posted by The Furnace at 06:41 PM | Comments (3)August 05, 2005
Poo Blossom
It's early this morning and I haven't yet had my long, tall Costa Rican of the day, but I'll try making some sense of Prickly City...
If Winslow is "cute" then Mary Pickford is weeping. FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. Oh wait. Sorry. Tried that one already.
It looks like Winslow has been caught with his doggie diddies around his ankles making a turd blossom in a port-o-potty. Wait, did I say turd blossom? That's a word that could get us shitcanned...er...turdcanned...er, I mean...poocanned. I'd better change it to "poo blossom." Yeah, that's more socially acceptable. I'd hate to offend all those Churchies with bad language.
For instance, I could say about today's strip, "Well, I think that's bullshit and I hate that. Just let it go." But I know better than that. Even though I gotz to show these right-wingers that I've got some backbone (the WSJ editorial page is watching fer chrissakes!), I should refrain from using bad language.
So instead, I'll say this about today's strip: TJIFAWDWTLS -- Thank Jebus It's Friday And We're Done With This Lame Storyline.
I should be careful, though. Stantis could resurrect this strip for one more day tomorrow. And it will haunt me. FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.
Posted by CJo at 09:56 AM | Comments (4)August 04, 2005
Zing Boom Tararrel
Looking over my notes...
It appears that there may or may not have been a shark and/or a cactus incident in the course of events while Prickly City was happening this week. It further appears that this shark, cactus and/or purple monkey dishwasher attack was perpetrated upon Winslow the Coyote (no relation to Smokey the Bear or Triumph the Insult Comic Dog), although all evidence at this time is purely speculative and impurely hearsay. So until all the facts are in, I shall refrain from any further comment on the culpability of the shark, cactus, purple monkey dishwasher and/or colony of passenger pigeons and their participation, or lack thereof, in this event - real or imagined.
However, I'm just a regular guy, the kind who likes my coffee like I like my women and children - quiet and Costa Rican. There are other folks, non-regular java-lovin' joes, however, with their fancy exprexxos and lattes as foamy as their brains are soft, who can't wait to chime in based on nothing more than a tissue-thin tissue-paper tissue of issues. I'd really like to hear what they have to say in the comments section....
Posted by Sacki at 09:41 AM | Comments (2)August 03, 2005
The Weeping Dead
Today's Strip
If you ask me, Fox News shouldn't be going nutso over the fake shark attack in Prickly City. Instead, they should track down the corpse of Edward R. Murrow. He's weeping! FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. That's on par with Weeping Underpass Mary ("WUP") in terms of media-hotness.
In other news, nice call by The Furnace and JB earlier in the week about the "blonde, cute and in trouble" aspect of media craziness. Of course, I'm unsure how Stantis is trying to fit it in considering Winslow is...well, he's not blonde is he? I suppose one might consider him cute. Though -- to be honest -- if Winslow is "cute" then somewhere Mary Pickford is weeping. FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!
Posted by CJo at 10:50 AM | Comments (2)August 02, 2005
Land Shark
Today's Strip
Here's what I read in today's Prickly City:
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Seriously - it's a nothing topic this week. Scoots wants to follow through on the media and shark bites. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Carmen professes her love for Greta Van Frankenstein, saying she's one of her "heroes." Letting us know that Carmen's requirements for a hero are 1) be on Fox News and 2) be a talentless hack. What exactly is heroic about being on Court TV and then getting plastic surgery that makes you look like you're always surprised and confused?
Greta then interviews the little girl about the shark bite, there's talk of mourning, and again blah blah blah. It doesn't really matter to me because all of this is TAKING PLACE IN THE DESERT. But nobody seems to want to ask how the heck a coyote was bitten by a shark on a sand dune.
Aw man - did Stantis go and do it again by accident? Did he secretly slip in a slam on the neo-cons and without knowing it?
Greta actually represents Judith Miller, desperate to break the "big story." She goes to the desert, wanting proof that the story she wants to write is true. The shark bite is weapons of mass destruction. Even though there's zero proof other than a little girl with pig tails (the scientist in the blue hat), she goes ahead with her story causing a sensation in the country. And all based on lies.
Of course that's not what Stantis meant. But it's fun to dream.
August 01, 2005
Sharks Patrol These Waters
Today's Strip
I'll concede Stantis a point on today's strip. The media's fascination with the Horrible and Fantastic -- including but not limited to shark attacks -- is an utter joke. I'm also happy that Stantis included Fox news as part of the media swarm surrounding Winslow.
It's amazing, but even today when the Righties criticize the media -- trotting out ye olde charge "Mainstreame Mediae" or "MSM" -- they fail to acknowledge that Fox News IS the mainstream these days. Fox News is the standard. They set the tone. They lead the charge into shark-infested waters.
And in case you missed it last week...Stantis hates Howard Dean!
He admitted on the recent podcast that the reason he devoted an entire week to Dean is that he absolutely loathes everything about him. That seems a little -- how shall we say -- hypocritical, seeing as Stantis has criticized Michael Moore AND the Democrats for basing their opposition to Bush on nothing more than hate.
Posted by CJo at 10:37 AM | Comments (8)
picture courtesy of JB
