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August 08, 2005
I. Ron Butterfly
Stantis takes the two-pronged approach to being a dick today.
Prong One: He makes up shit about Global Warming. "Climate models show that global warming is a natural rhythm of the planet." I mean, sure, that may be the case, but that's certainly not the entire story. When President Bush says that "further study" is needed, I pray to my favorite philosopher Christ that he means real, live scientists and not the crazy crackpot pseudo-scientists who are foisting this Intelligent Design poofest on America. I wonder if those "climate models" Stantis references are part of an exhibit in the great new museum in Arkansas which depict dinosaurs frolicking with Adam and Eve in-a-gadda-da-vida, baby. (The dinosaurs were on Noah's Ark too!)
Prong Two: Stantis wants the residents of "most of the blue states" to be frozen to death under a "mile-high glacier." Now that's just not very nose-tweaking-like, Scott. That sounds pretty hateful. For instance, if I were to wish an epidemic of the Hillbilly Flu on the Red States, I'd probably get thrown in jail. Or at the very least someone would trot out the familiar Conservative refrain, "For belonging to the party of tolerance [presumably the Democratic Party], he sure is intolerant."
(For the record, I do NOT hope that all the hillbillies in the Red States get the Hillbilly Flu. Just the ones in Alabama.)
Comments
I had a friend who has the Hillbilly Flu. We call him "Poor Mel."
Posted by: The Furnace at August 8, 2005 12:28 PM
The only cure? More cowbell.
Posted by: Sacki at August 8, 2005 12:49 PM
I'm over Stantis. Fuck that guy. Anyone read Ballard street today? I love Ballard street.
Posted by: d_e at August 8, 2005 02:32 PM
You can always counteract Hillbilly Flu with Rockin' Pneumonia!
Go team!
Posted by: J. Kendall at August 8, 2005 02:50 PM
Haven't a clue what Ballard Street is about, but I am wondering why Brenda Starr is celebrating Halloween in August.
Posted by: Sacki at August 8, 2005 04:00 PM
Color me confused, but I don't get how acknowledging global warming would bring ice back over the Blue States.
Posted by: Mysterio at August 8, 2005 04:28 PM
I'm so angry, I actually read Brenda Starr. Damn you Stantis.
Posted by: JB at August 8, 2005 04:44 PM
